What do you dislike about your country's culture?

[WomenHour]

I would say the binge drinking culture of the UK

The sneery attitude if you want to do well or are educated. I think the Government has played on this with the ‘fed up with experts approach’.
How people take pride in being thick as shit, with ill informed opinions.
How people/men of a certain class and accent get away with all sorts, and seem to not have to follow the same rules as the rest of us. Also see Government.

British Asian here

India: competitiveness

Britain: passive aggressiveness

I love both cultures though. Will passionately defend both and both have a lot more in common with them than meets the eye. Which, in my opinion is why British Indians generally integrate really well - through shared values.

drinking at 6am in the airport - Brits

@NeedToKnow101. Not sitting on the table is tikanga Maori (there's evidence practice was present prior to European colonisation) that has become accepted norm in New Zealand. Mostly now I think it's just seen as unhygienic- you don't eat in the bathroom etc, why put your bum where your food goes?
There's loads of these things we know/do as Kiwis that are normal to us, extremely weird to my Irish husband.

I was going to say an alcohol centred culture as well (Scotland). It’s not just young people binge drinking on the weekends, it’s the normalisation of unhealthy drinking habits, and how so many social occasions are focused around drinking.

@Pepperwort

But who is saying this is just for the rich?

These things cost, you know. Even for just walking you need to have somewhere to walk around and that may mean transport out of a city. If it needs equipment that costs. Even walking is more comfortable when you can afford £50+ for decent boots and the same for decent waterproofs.

It’s not money related, not everything is. It’s cultural where if the kids go to school on a weekday and say they were out hiking instead of kicking a ball around, they would get bullied.

There's a lot of very toxic masculinity in Maori society. Colonialism certainly hasn't helped, but the origins are older.

Oh lor', I don't know how the "Maori culture" theme took off so much, especially as the person who originally brought it up to finger-wag hasn't come back to explain tikanga to us all (I was so looking forward to that).
Anyway, this thread is about what we dislike, I think a lot of good has rubbed off on settlers from mingling with Maori, but like a PP said, it's still a distinct culture, it's not up for grabs for anyone to claim.

I was flippant, let me expand. When I said "what culture?" I mean NZ culture (generally) is fiercely anti-intellectual. There isn't the population to support a sophisticated media or arts, so the lowest-common-denominator rules. Education isn't valued.

There's a popular artificially forced nostalgia for the New Zealand of "good keen men" and "number 8 wire" and a set of about ten daft symbols that represent "Kiwiana". There's an unchangeable narrative of rugby playing, beer drinking, quarter-acre aspiring, barbecuing blokes.

Every piece of international news has to have a "New Zealander Involved" angle. Every statistic presented per capita or measurement translated to equivalent rugby fields.

We dress poorly, in shapeless, drab, dingy clothes, made in China. The brightest spot of colour you'll see is the odd pair of pink pyjamas at the supermarket.

Of course there are creative individuals who sparkle and innovate, but it is a hard pull against the tide here. (And the overall culture affects Maori and Pakeha alike, btw).

If you don't like it then leave‘ is a perfect example of the kind of arrogant, Daily Mail attitude that pisses me off. You might meet this attitude on MN or on social media but do people really come up against all this awfulness in daily life. Honestly?

Yes this awfulness regularly came up on the Brexit threads around the time of the referendum.

And if ,God forbid, you do actually leave then within the first five minutes of touching down in another country (even if you are living there solely for work or because you happened to fall in love and marry someone from a different country) you cease to be British, you no longer deserve to hold an opinion about anything concerning the UK, your British identify is null and void. You are presumed to hate your country if you have dared to "turn" your back on it and live elsewhere. This applies even if you still have lots of family back in the UK, you visit it regularly, you watch the BBC news, listen to Radio 4, have HP sauce on the dinner table and read The Times, queue, and chat about the weather Ike a pro! People are so narrow-minded that they view living in another country as some sort of "betrayal" of your country of birth.

Derxa And yes, should have said, that attitude was very much prevalent in RL during the time of the Brexit referendum and not just on Mumsnet! My sil who is a European national (London resident for 20+ yrs) got told off for speaking in her native tongue to her daughter on a London bus (they practise OPOL - one parent, one language) just after the vote and when she politely told them to mind their own business she got told to "go back home".

I disagree that children aren't valued in the uk. I think everything is set up for children and it's very hard to find somewhere that isn't. Restaurants, cafes, pubs, outside space, libraries, swimming pools - all full of kids. Want to go for a quiet adult swim? Oh you get 6am twice a week. Want to read in a library? Oh it's song time! Etc.

England.

1. Superiority complex and entitlement - automatically expect to be respected by the rest of the world
2. Suspicion of educated people ‘Britain has had enough of experts.
3. Obsession with the past - 2 world wars, 1 World Cup.
4. Belief that all positive traits e.g. fairness are inherently English traits.
5. Celebrity culture
6. Awful newspapers with too much power
7. Class system resulting in people with low intelligence but expensive education rising to the top because lots of people towards the bottom end of the system agree they have a right to rule

Originally British/English, immigrant (NOT 'expat') to Germany and naturalised German. So I have two cultures to criticise.

Britain/UK:
English exceptionalism/colonial hubris has a lot to answer for.
The idea that ownng property makes one a morally better person and tenants (where has this new word 'renters' come from?) are somehow deficient.
The idea of formal education as some kind of race - it's entirely normal to talk about very small children being 'ahead' or 'behind'. Connected to this, the idea that seemingly engaging in things that are aimed at a higher age (toys, films, books etc) makes a child 'advanced'. All this 'my 6yo is just finishing the Harry Potter series' stuff. How much real understanding - in most cases - is taking place there? And I've seen on here in all seriousness (paraphrased) 'ds is 8/9 and still plays with toys - are his peers going to see him as babyish?'
And alongside this the entirely paradoxical denial of small and controlled doses of independence to children. It's definitely seen as a badge of good parenting to delay walking to school alone/being left alone at home for a short period/going to the shop alone for as long as possible - up to secondary age and sometimes beyond.
School bloody uniform. The seeming acceptance of teachers spending valuable time monitoring blazers (ridiculous concept in themselves) being on/off or styles of 'school shoes' reflects, I think, a very British obsession with appearances above all else (see also the house-selling industry) and with some idea of 'traditional' being 'best' that I think is ultimately societally quite damaging. Don't get me started on 'business dress' for sixth-formers. German young people seem to manage the transition from school/student jeans and hoodies to the sort of wear typical of their work sector without any problems.
There's a habit for a lot of populism to creep into the criminal justice system in a way that I don't think is acceptable in a modern civilised society.

Germany:
This is a hard one to explain, but rhymes. Everything from public information messaging to birthday congratulations in terrible, clunky rhymes.
The cloying xenophilia of many Germans - particularly, but by no means all, certain strata - which is just as othering, in its way, as the unfortunately resurgent xenophobia. There seems to be a compulsive need to make any indication of non-German origins in another person into a thing. It can't just be noted quietly and left alone. Germans don't do diversity very well eithe, especially diversity of representation. You look at even very recently published children's books and all the people in the pictures are white, bar the very occasional one with a very slightly darker skin. German children's books are a bugbear in themselves - the writing particularly for small children is often dreadful, and they reproduce very traditional images of families, by and large (a few notable exceptions are emerging).
The constant bloody handshaking (even small children are expected to engage) - which I fervently hope will not return post-pandemic.
The smoking (varies regionally, where I live is unfortunately one of the worse). It's still far too accepted and IIRC cigarette advertising won't actually be banned until next year . People who would never dream of littering with other stuff think it's fine to use the ground as a giant ashtray.
The continued acceptance of a structurally unequal education system which bolsters classism and racism (I was going to say 'in a way that would no longer be acceptable in the UK'. But oh, wait...).

People mentioned the dog shit everywhere and I absolutely have to agree. Cannot believe how bad it is when I visit family and you cannot even go for a simple walk down the street without having to avoid dog shit. It's not even area based. They are supposed to live in a lovely area.

Gravel and patio in almost every garden. I would kill for outside space. You clearly have to much if you are going to fill every single space with little grey stones. Imagine how beautiful it would be if streets were green, not every single front garden grey. Decorated with a big dog turd just outside the gate.

Scottish Sectarianism
Binge drinking culture

@garlictwist

I disagree that children aren't valued in the uk. I think everything is set up for children and it's very hard to find somewhere that isn't. Restaurants, cafes, pubs, outside space, libraries, swimming pools - all full of kids. Want to go for a quiet adult swim? Oh you get 6am twice a week. Want to read in a library? Oh it's song time! Etc.

It's not so much valued or not valued, it's the treatment of children as a distinct species. There are very rigid ideas of 'kids' things' and 'adult things' in the UK which I haven't encountered to the same degree elsewhere. And the notion of children owing slavish 'respect' to adults just because they are adults has remained more pervasive.

Oh, and on the subject of potatoes - German Pellkartoffeln. Potatoes boiled in their skins and served in a bowl in the middle of the table, with everyone expected to use the sharp knife provided to peel their own potatoes (usually burning their fingers in the process) before eating. I've been told a reason for this - something to do with the taste - but no taste can compensate for that faff.

@WitchenKitch

Oh lor', I don't know how the "Maori culture" theme took off so much, especially as the person who originally brought it up to finger-wag hasn't come back to explain tikanga to us all (I was so looking forward to that). Anyway, this thread is about what we dislike, I think a lot of good has rubbed off on settlers from mingling with Maori, but like a PP said, it's still a distinct culture, it's not up for grabs for anyone to claim.

I was flippant, let me expand. When I said "what culture?" I mean NZ culture (generally) is fiercely anti-intellectual. There isn't the population to support a sophisticated media or arts, so the lowest-common-denominator rules. Education isn't valued.

There's a popular artificially forced nostalgia for the New Zealand of "good keen men" and "number 8 wire" and a set of about ten daft symbols that represent "Kiwiana". There's an unchangeable narrative of rugby playing, beer drinking, quarter-acre aspiring, barbecuing blokes.

Every piece of international news has to have a "New Zealander Involved" angle. Every statistic presented per capita or measurement translated to equivalent rugby fields.

We dress poorly, in shapeless, drab, dingy clothes, made in China. The brightest spot of colour you'll see is the odd pair of pink pyjamas at the supermarket.

Of course there are creative individuals who sparkle and innovate, but it is a hard pull against the tide here. (And the overall culture affects Maori and Pakeha alike, btw).

Oh yes.

Re: the NZ angle, there was a terrible boat disaster somewhere up in the islands some years back, Tonga or Fiji, and it was reported -in the headline- that one of the dozens dead had had a New Zealand driver's licence. So, in essence, a NZ document had been possibly waterdamaged in a fatal island ferry accident- that was the angle.

I was so used to it that it took my English husband pointing it out for me to register how ridiculous it was.

the NZ angle, there was a terrible boat disaster somewhere up in the islands some years back, Tonga or Fiji, and it was reported -in the headline- that one of the dozens dead had had a New Zealand driver's licence. So, in essence, a NZ document had been possibly waterdamaged in a fatal island ferry accident- that was the angle.

Surely the reason for stating that was that one of the dead could have been a New Zealand citizen? Your theory is simply nonsense.

England
-too much alcohol
-tabloids
-royal family obsession
-class related snobbery
-two-facedness
-passive-aggressiveness

@MrsMariaReynolds

I'm American. All of it.

End of.

There is a lot people can criticise about the USA. But you've got fantastic customer service compared to the UK, at least.

There is a lot people can criticise about the USA. But you've got fantastic customer service compared to the UK, at least. Often this revolves around the tipping culture - if you don't tip, the service is pretty awful see United Airlines and American Airlines - absolutely dreadful!

@CatteStreet

Oh, and on the subject of potatoes - German Pellkartoffeln. Potatoes boiled in their skins and served in a bowl in the middle of the table, with everyone expected to use the sharp knife provided to peel their own potatoes (usually burning their fingers in the process) before eating. I've been told a reason for this - something to do with the taste - but no taste can compensate for that faff.

My parents used to do this - (Irish) and the flavour had everything to do with it. I didn't like potatoes done like this so I never ate with the family - no alternative was offered so I didn't eat - note to all those parents who won't offer an alternative - you might have very skinny kids.

Scotland:

• inverse snobbery (just as bad as normal snobbery) and a problem with achievement / success
• cutting down people for doing well
• trash culture and loss of traditions (kids just want to be on X factor don't play sport as much or learn instruments
• being small minded - knowing nothing About the rest of the UK
• depressive attitude
• drinking

@taraRoo

Scotland:

• inverse snobbery (just as bad as normal snobbery) and a problem with achievement / success
• cutting down people for doing well
• trash culture and loss of traditions (kids just want to be on X factor don't play sport as much or learn instruments
• being small minded - knowing nothing About the rest of the UK
• depressive attitude
• drinking

Sounds just like England! The first point is so true- in sections of society it's seen as a bad thing if you are academic or successful in any way (the exception being if you are a manual labourer with a successful business).