To have shown fear in front of ds 6?

[AriesTheRam]

Fucking spiders.One on the ceiling this morning and had to brave it after several coaching speeches from ds.I always said I wouldn't be like this in front of him ffs.Om a dick aren't I?

Lol I hate them too. And thankfully so far only had to deal with the buggers while DD was asleep. I dread the day I come across one while she’s awake because I don’t want to show my fear either but if it’s fast and big I get all shaky and scared 🤦🏻‍♀️ I also end up killing them (The big ones) because I just can’t handle knowing it’s around and I certainly can’t pick them up to throw out. I know that’s not good and I’d rather not but I cannot cope otherwise. I really don’t want my DD to witness that either. I’m hoping I’ll have a man by then and he can deal with it. One can dream 😂

Best of it was ds was like " its ok mum just pretend its a bat with more legs" wtaf

I have a phobia of spiders and moths - I know my actions are ridiculous around them but I can’t help it.

I always make sure to note to the kids that my reaction is silly and so far they’ve picked up the fearlessness from husband.

It's not ideal in the sense that they learn what's safe/dangerous based on us. But it's not the end of the world 😊🤷

Plus it sounds like he doesn't have any fear of them right now? Get him to catch it next time! 😄

I've just bought some sonic wave plug in things which are supposed to be a deterrent but dh switched them off last night 😕 I've told him I'm daft and I'm glad he's not scared too.He was v mature about the whole thing bless him.

A bat with more legs

I hate spiders and those big moths.

A bloody great big moth got in the bathroom, I was trying to catch it to release it until the damn thing flew into my eye. Can you imagine having to explain that to a hcp if any damage had been done with bits of moth left in eye.

ps I can't stand fecking bats either.

Of course YABU. You’re supposed to be a hollow robot with no emotion. Children are not supposed to see adults as humans after all 🤷🏼‍♀️

Eh I doubt it'll mentally scar him.

I am not scared of spiders but my DD is petrified of them. I always assumed that phobias were learned behaviours. Seems that they are not. So I wouldn't worry about showing fear in front of your DS as he probably won't pick up on it anyway.

I am terrified of snakes. I can't even watch them on TV. If don't know how old my daughter was when she would of been aware of this - probably the first time a snake was on a random cbeebies programme and I most likely shrieked "Arrrrrrrrrrrgh snake. Tell me when it's gone" while hiding behind a cushion.
Oh course now she is 12 the "yeah mum it's gone now" is usually a lie (ha ha ha - sooo funny).
Oh god. That nature programme with the snakes chasing the iguanas.....

@bookmum08 snakes don't bother me ive actually held a few (sorry!) Its just spiders and always will be I suppose.Wont be doing any Speakman style therapy of holding one of the bastards so looks like I'm stuck with it.

@AriesTheRam

Fucking spiders.One on the ceiling this morning and had to brave it after several coaching speeches from ds.I always said I wouldn't be like this in front of him ffs.Om a dick aren't I?

You're human.

I always think it's fine to be scared, cry, cross in front of kids.

It works well alongside discussion afterwards.

My ds always went mad if I wanted to hoover them up or squish with a shoe So it was and is responsibility to deal with the feckers.

He's not that keen and usually here it's me coaxing him gently about how he's ok

I would try and reassure him that you know it's a irrational fear. My children are frightened of spiders. Because my eldest daughter is. Even my strapping rugby playing boys. I wish I'd nipped it in the bud when they were smaller.
Lidl have spider catchers for £4.99 similar to this one

For me, it’s involuntary. I cannot control how I react to a spider. They make me ill.

I wish I wasn’t like this, honestly, it’s no fun.

I always ensure we put them outside though (even though I’m sure the same ones keep coming back!)

I don't think your behaviour is unreasonable at all OP.

I used to be utterly terrified of arachnids, right into my 30's. I started thinking about it one day and realised that my fear was entirely learned behaviour I'd copied from my mother. She used to run from the room shrieking and bawling at the sight of a spider, and stand trembling refusing to move until somebody else had dealt with it. I thought to myself that in reality it's a bit of an illogical reaction given that ordinary spiders are totally harmless and pose no risk at all, and it was like a like switching on in my head.

Now they don't bother me in the slightest, and I have no issue simply plopping a glass over them and turfing them out the door. I wouldn't worry about reacting in front of DS, because even if you think you must be sending the message that spiders are something to be scared of, it doesn't mean you are somehow going to pass your phobia on to him.

*light obvs.

Where i live spiders kills too right i am scared of them, i am not a swearer but I can make exceptions

I have definitely passed on my fears of creepy crawlies to my children despite my best efforts but one holiday in South Africa put paid to that!
However, I haven’t passed on my fear of all other animals to them. Even with allergies they are all animal lovers. (I’m not an animal hater just a strong fear.)
It’s all part of the jigsaw of life. I’ll talk to anyone (if appropriate), make phone calls, answer the door, etc. but the kids hate all that. For the most part, as a family, we strike a balance between people’s strengths and weaknesses but not always in a tolerant way!

You're missing a trick here, OP.

A gold star or reward of your choice for your DS every time he safely and gently removes a spider = he has no fear and you get rid of the hairy beast (the spider, that is). Win, win.

I do think I am lucky as we don't have those giant 20ft can swallow a goat whole snakes in the UK* so my fear is easier to avoid.
Make sure your son knows that Official Spider Catcher is now his family role.

*At least I bloody hope not. You do read of morons releasing their unwanted pets into the wild.

You can’t help it. I hate them too. Neither of the kids is bothered by them so they certainly haven’t been affected by my phobia.

Teen DD is terrified of buzzing insects and they don’t bother me at all so maybe we all just have something we dislike.

I now have bowls of peppermint oil infused hot water in every room.ivr switched my plug ins on full.cant do much more

I'm the same op. One last night on the stairs, big bastard, cue screaming bloody murder from me and basically a panic attack. I HATE it. I scan every single room before I walk in, shake my pillow and duvet before getting into bed etc. My children are both scared of them because of witnessing my reaction to them. Sounds like your DS will be your future spider catcher though!!

Sometimes you just can’t help yourself. And although DC pick up a lot from us, they don’t necessarily copy us in everything. I am also spider averse but my eldest child doesn’t mind them at all and was (humanely) disposing of them for me and her siblings from quite a young age. Conversely, I love cats and dogs but she was terrified of them and eventually had hypnotherapy to help her get over it.