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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandparent watching the news

147 replies

Chicci1 · 22/08/2020 16:57

My parents see their grandchildren once a week - usually when we visit them on a Saturday for about two hours. Myself and dh usually take turns entertaining the children while we’re there. They’re age 2 and 5. Today after the first hour, they wanted to watch cartoons. After they had watched tv for 5 minutes, my father insisted on putting on the news. There wasn’t any particular news story he wanted to see or anything. He just insisted on putting it on because he felt like watching it. Cue upset kids who had been promised cartoons. Am I unreasonable to feel livid and that I’m not bothered making the effort to visit on a weekly basis anymore.

OP posts:
Thomasina79 · 22/08/2020 17:02

Yes it’s selfish, but the punishment meted out to their grandfather is a little draconian. Children need to see their grandparents on a regular basis, unless there is a backstory you are not sharing?

Spied · 22/08/2020 17:02

Maybe df is stuck in a routine. Maybe the cartoons were driving him potty.
I wouldn't stop going around there because of this. Am sure he loves seeing your DC just maybe feels awkward around children that age and doesn't know how to interact.
I'd continue to go but maybe take a tablet to keep them entertained for a short while.

dwiz8 · 22/08/2020 17:07

Yabu

It's their damn house

Your father can choose what to put on the TV, not many people like the idea of sitting watching children's tv shows for hours

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 22/08/2020 17:09

Kids cartoons are mind numbing and generally shit so it’s no wonder he didn’t want to watch them. Yeah, it would’ve been nice to not switch them off but being livid and not wanting to go to see them is way ott

Original poster
Chicci1 · 22/08/2020 17:10

Dwiz8 it would not have been for hours. 30 minutes is all it would have been.

OP posts:
Babyboomtastic · 22/08/2020 17:10

Maybe it's time to try and take the focus away from the TV, and your parents interacting with their grandchildren. It's only 2 hours a week, can't they play together, read to them, play games etc? For at least some of it, rather than you entertaining them.

millymollymoomoo · 22/08/2020 17:11

My dad is stuck in his ways and will watch news at 6 and 10 everyday
Teach your kids that they can’t always get what that want. It’s also not bad to let them
Learn to entertain themselves together in ( a safe) garden or draw etc while the news is on

dwiz8 · 22/08/2020 17:11

@Chicci1

Dwiz8 it would not have been for hours. 30 minutes is all it would have been.
It doesn't matter

It's their house

Their TV

Their time

They can watch what they damn well like

Original poster
Chicci1 · 22/08/2020 17:12

I should have said of course I don’t think he should have to watch the cartoons. We were all in a different room chatting and he could have stayed there instead of going into the living room to turn the cartoons off. Also I’m not saying that I’ll never visit again of course - just that I’m not sure I should make the effort every Saturday.

OP posts:
mumof2exhausted · 22/08/2020 17:12

Why on earth is anyone watching tv?? Surely it’s the time for grandparents to play / interact with kids? If not what’s the point in going?

Freddiefox · 22/08/2020 17:13

@dwiz8

Yabu

It's their damn house

Your father can choose what to put on the TV, not many people like the idea of sitting watching children's tv shows for hours

He can chose what he likes, but equally op can choose not to take the children round as often.

Maybe granddad could watch the news in the 16 hours as 7 days that his grandchildren aren’t there.

Op I’d visit less tbh as it will start an expectation.

Crylittlesister · 22/08/2020 17:14

I liken my dc visiting my df to a zoo visit. My dad loves to see the lions. He doesnt want to touch them, clean them, play with them, feed them or sleep near them, but he marvels at how wonderful they are and always enjoys seeing them.
Children are tiring and some people are not natural entertainers. Possibly visiting your df is the time to let them use a device for a bit so noone ends up 'livid'.

katy1213 · 22/08/2020 17:14

Not everything revolves around children. What an over-reaction on your part. If you're 'livid' about this, heaven help you when they start school.

CelestialSpanking · 22/08/2020 17:14

YABU to be ‘livid’ it’s not that big a deal. However, if my kids then started to play up I’d have made my excuses and left because what’s the point in staying?

WendyHoused · 22/08/2020 17:15

You think it's reasonable to tell your father what he can watch on TV in his own house?

It's not ideal that he wanted to watch the telly at all rather than visit with you all, but that's a side issue. You can't control someone else's telly, OP.

user1493494961 · 22/08/2020 17:15

It's a bit crap to just sit and watch TV, take a couple of games to play. My parents always had a box of toys for the kids to rummage in.

Winterwoollies · 22/08/2020 17:17

Unfortunately, your kids aren’t the centre of the world and they don’t get to dictate what other people do on their own homes. Some people like to watch the news every day at a certain time so they know what’s going on in the world.

If your kids need screen entertainment in order to behave I’d recommend an iPad so you aren’t reliant on other people’s property.

Alongcameacat · 22/08/2020 17:17

My kid’s grandparents are like this. We visit for one night every four months. For the first two hours, everything is normal. My father was like this when I was growing up too.
He doesn’t think anything of saying grumpily‘be quiet’ because he can’t hear it.
My kids dislike visiting.
As you see your parents every week, can’t you go at a different time?

butterpuffed · 22/08/2020 17:17

If it was your parents who told the children they could watch cartoons and then your DF changed his mind then yes that's a bit mean.

If it was you or your DH, it's not your house ! I do think your parents should be playing with them for a couple of hours though.

CurtainWitcher · 22/08/2020 17:20

I can't imagine anyone have the tv on while they have visitors. Seems very weird to me. The visits are only two hours long too!

EL8888 · 22/08/2020 17:20

Their house = their rules. It’s not all about what your children want. But why was the TV on anyway. Surely you were meant to be enjoying time together, rather than mindlessly watching cartoons or the news.

Original poster
Chicci1 · 22/08/2020 17:21

My parents had suggested putting on cartoons for the kids. They don’t play with them and I’m used to that now and accept it. They do however like us to visit every week so they can see the kids. They suggested cartoons and it wasn’t at a time that df would like to watch the news generally.

OP posts:
Alongcameacat · 22/08/2020 17:24

Older people, particularly if in poor health, can be very petulant. Go at a different time? I’d really recommend nipping the ‘time slot’ soon before it becomes expected.

Original poster
Chicci1 · 22/08/2020 17:26

My df is 62 with no health issues.

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 22/08/2020 17:28

Just visit for a lot lot lot shorter length of time. Eg 30mins cup of tea, everyone has seen each other, child has drawn a picture/sticker book etc. Time to go home