Grandparent watching the news

[Chicci1]

My parents see their grandchildren once a week - usually when we visit them on a Saturday for about two hours. Myself and dh usually take turns entertaining the children while we’re there. They’re age 2 and 5. Today after the first hour, they wanted to watch cartoons. After they had watched tv for 5 minutes, my father insisted on putting on the news. There wasn’t any particular news story he wanted to see or anything. He just insisted on putting it on because he felt like watching it. Cue upset kids who had been promised cartoons. Am I unreasonable to feel livid and that I’m not bothered making the effort to visit on a weekly basis anymore.

Does everyone really let their children dominate the tv at home?

Their house, your kids. If they cant share the TV for a blooming hour, then I certainly wouldnt be sharing my dc with them

Fair enough it’s their house their rules but stuff entertaining the kids for 2 hours at their house every week! I’d either cut the visits down to 30 minutes so it’s not so boring or suggest they come to your house where the kids toys are.

@canigooutyet

Does everyone really let their children dominate the tv at home?

If I have children as guests then I let them choose what to watch on the tv, they don't live with the GPs it's once a week.

You took your children to spend time with their grandparents but when there let them sit watching cartoons instead of spending time with their grandparents? YABU. Your dad was subtly trying to make you see this.

@alphasox

You took your children to spend time with their grandparents but when there let them sit watching cartoons instead of spending time with their grandparents? YABU. Your dad was subtly trying to make you see this.

How? He was watching the news not spending time with the kids?

@mumof2exhausted

Why on earth is anyone watching tv?? Surely it’s the time for grandparents to play / interact with kids? If not what’s the point in going?

This.

Our rule is visitors = no screen. If we are visiting people, we are there to see them and interact with them. If people come to us, the same thing applies. It's rude to stare at a screen and ignore actual, real life people!

Time to think about limiting screen time - teach this early and it'll be much easier later on.

Why do you and your DH take it in turn to entertain your DC's at their DGP's house? Surely the point is for their DGP's to take an interest in them?

If that's not happening and you're literally just sitting in their environment for two hours with two children who are being ignored by the people they're there to see, is there any point? I'd drop the visits to once a month, anymore and they can make the effort to travel over. If they can't drive, buses and trains will be back to full schedules by 1st September, if they're not already.

Why suggest cartoons and then switch to the news?
Seems odd. Maybe cut down the length of visits a bit

I think the issue is suggesting something the kids would like then taking it away from them 5 minutes later. I've had similarish behavior - not really around TV but other things.

It was always FIL often directed at DS who is easily wound up- less so older DS gets - and it was complete pita to deal with often took me, DH and MIL to sort it all out.

In future you could make excuses to leave earlier and perhaps make visits less frequent and shorter and perhaps in future different locations or or head out for walkes while there or take books/games/comics something they or you have control of to head of any TV suggestions going forward.

Basically try and avoid situations where this sort of thing happens again.

It would have been unheard of years ago when I was a child for my grandparents to play with me.
Children don't need to be entertained they should be able to entertain themselves. Take some of their own toys or books with them to keep them amused.

This could have been written about my dad. He and my mother watched the news every day at 6 and 10 irrespective of who was there. It was very annoying; we lived far away and I didn't really see why he couldn't miss it for a few days.

He died last year and all those irritations just seem a bit irrelevant now - I miss him a lot and so do my kids. I'd try and rise above it personally.

I think some of the responses on here are harsh and like you had insisted on turning off the news as they had asked to watch cartoons, which would be very different. Why would anyone give small children something then very quickly take it away? Just upset them for no reason. YANBU to cut down the visit amounts and/or time as they aren't interacting with the children anyway, who is getting much out of the visits? Yes he can take away his TV from the grandchildren after 5 minutes for no reason if he wishes but you can also say that doesn't work for us you'll need to visit us where they have their toys or we'll come less often.

Only on mumsnet can GPs who show little interest in spending time with the grandchildren and put their own needs first be in the right because the OP let her kids watch some evil cartoons. Don't you know every minute of screen time kills 10'000 brain cells!

I wouldn't have a TV on if I had any visitors, and that means children as well, as they can live without watching a screen of any kind for a few hours.

It's his house and his television. Your children are being very rude and entitled expecting to watch television when they are visiting grandparents but given your attitude about not visiting your parents because your children aren't getting their own way in somebody else's house it's hardly surprising. Are you always this entitled?

Surely they can watch cartoons at home, then actually interact with their grandparents while they're at their house?

Maybe the visit is too long and the kids are getting bored.
Try cutting it down to 1hr a week instead of 2hrs?

Maybe your father would be happier popping over to yours for a visit; after he has watched the news. If he isn't keen on the children (more on the idea they visit), your mother could pop over by herself and enjoy their company.

It is not like that was the only news on that day.

Gosh YABU and very selfish. Not your house! Surely you don’t take your children there just to plonk them in front of the TV?

Your children are being very rude and entitled expecting to watch television when they are visiting grandparents

OP did say the Grandparents were ones who suggested putting cartoons on in first place.

For a two hour vist I'd be suprised at TV but as I said I think it's much more suggesting something the kids liked then almost immediately taking it away from them that's the problem.

Though it sound like the visits are hard work for OP and her DH anyway - so may need re-thinking a bit.

I know things have changed for the better since I was a kid, but I would never visit someone else and watch their tv if it wasn't something they primarily wanted to watch. They offered your children to watch cartoons and then he changed his mind. It's weird, but that is his prerogative, and it's an opportunity for your children to learn how to behave in someone else's home.

Ah the news. Full of.murders, abuse, death, war. Perfect for a three and five year old.
If he has it on when they're there, I'd ask for it to be on mute with subs. That's what we do if we want to watch news when little ones are around.
Also, how often does he see them? It's a bit pathetic that TV has to come into their quality time together at all.

Some people aren't interested in young children. YABU as his TV and home. YANBU as 30 mins of cartoon time to keep the kids distracted wouldn't hurt.
Either go for a shorter visit in future or take a tablet for the kids to watch programmes on.