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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandparent watching the news

147 replies

Chicci1 · 22/08/2020 16:57

My parents see their grandchildren once a week - usually when we visit them on a Saturday for about two hours. Myself and dh usually take turns entertaining the children while we’re there. They’re age 2 and 5. Today after the first hour, they wanted to watch cartoons. After they had watched tv for 5 minutes, my father insisted on putting on the news. There wasn’t any particular news story he wanted to see or anything. He just insisted on putting it on because he felt like watching it. Cue upset kids who had been promised cartoons. Am I unreasonable to feel livid and that I’m not bothered making the effort to visit on a weekly basis anymore.

OP posts:
FuckwitMcGee · 22/08/2020 17:31

Such drama. It's up to him what he watches in his own home. YABU.

yikesanotherbooboo · 22/08/2020 17:31

My father was like that as indeed were my grandparents. They were creatures of habit and didn't expect children's wishes to be put before those of adults. We and our children and DNs still liked going. The children sat on laps, read books and went for a dog walk or similar

Pinkchocolate · 22/08/2020 17:32

This would upset me. The fact that you’ve accepted they won’t play with them is sad. Do your children get anything out of these visits? Or are you purely pleasing your parents? Could you suggest things they could do together so they enjoy it? My dad does gardening with my kids for example. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

WorraLiberty · 22/08/2020 17:32

'Livid'?? 😂😂

Yes, YABU and totally overreacting.

sycamorecottage · 22/08/2020 17:35

I don't think I ever actually watched the news when my dc were that age and in the same room. Even during daytime, there's a lot of horrible things happening in the world, and small children don't need to see it. I used to catch up when dc were in bed.

Terrace58 · 22/08/2020 17:36

We have to ask the grandparents not to turn on the news because they watch far right wing conspiracy type news. They keep it on al day when we aren’t there. I don’t want my child seeing that junk.

DrDetriment · 22/08/2020 17:37

YABU. Firstly for allowing a 2 and 5 year old to sit zombie like in front of the tv but also for disrespecting the grandparents. It's their house and they can do what they like. You've massively overreacted by being livid. Perhaps switch off the tv and all of you interact with the children.

Haffdonga · 22/08/2020 17:38

Sounds pretty annoying and selfish of your dad, but Livid ? That's fairly extreme. Why do your dcs' TV choices trumps your dad's TV?

Sounds more like you're actually angry that your dps don't engage with your dcs when they see them and make the effort. Does your mum want to see them and your dad finds them boring and a bit annoying? I'd reduce the frequency of visits and suggest they come to you.

BridgeFarmKefir · 22/08/2020 17:38

When I stayed with my GPs (I am 36 now) we weren't allowed to watch kids TV and my grandfather watched the news at every possible opportunity - the 6 o clock news was especially important. I really don't think this is a reason to deprive your children and parents time together. I loved my grandparents very much despite the lack of TV!

FitbitMum · 22/08/2020 17:40

Yabu what a total overreaction😂

They're 5 and 2 they should learn to be entertained and not rely on cartoons

Calm down

Hopeisnotastrategy · 22/08/2020 17:41

You're " livid"? 🙄

PullTheBricksDown · 22/08/2020 17:43

Children need to see their grandparents on a regular basis

They don't. Some kids don't have grandparents Tm see at all and they manage!

62 isn't that old. You could have another 20+ years of catering to your dad so I'd be careful about locking yourself into that. Shorter visits as a pp said. Or how about you go there one week and they take turns coming to you alternate weeks?

Original poster
Chicci1 · 22/08/2020 17:43

Just to reiterate - I did not suggest any tv for the dc. My parents did. I think they suggested it to quieten they dc. The dc were delighted to be getting some cartoons and upset when the news was put on after five minutes.

OP posts:
Zhampagne · 22/08/2020 17:43

Do your parents interact with the children at all or are you just taking them once a week for inspection like some kind of Victorian governess?

Quartz2208 · 22/08/2020 17:44

These weekly visits sound pointless - what are you getting out of it

dingledongle · 22/08/2020 17:45

My father made them watch antiques programmes! On the rare occasion he came to our house the kids watched what he wanted on TV.

Needless to say that don't really want to visit now and at 12 and 15 I don't make them. They no longer 'babysit' either.

🤷‍♀️ sorry not what you wanted to hear Sad

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 22/08/2020 17:45

It might be t gps’ house, but OP doesn’t have to go there if so little effort is being made by her Dad!

How silly to turn off the thing that was keeping the kids occupied so that all the adults could talk and relax.

GreenGordon · 22/08/2020 17:46

Doesn’t sound like your father enjoys the visits or the grandchildren much tbh. Either visit when he’s out, or get your mother to visit you if she wants? Otherwise, I think I’d stick to short visits on high days and holidays. Why bother if they aren’t interacting?

Bringmewineandcake · 22/08/2020 17:48

I think your dad was mean. Your kids could have watched a couple of cartoons and then easily been persuaded to do something else. It wouldn't have killed him to let them watch a little bit of what they enjoyed for a while.

nannieann · 22/08/2020 17:49

Your df is quite young really. Does he have any hobbies he could share with your children? Watching tv isn't spending quality time with them. It would be lovely if you could think of something they could do together.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 22/08/2020 17:51

Their house, their TV. Sorry but YABU to be livid about it.

fwwaftp · 22/08/2020 17:53

Your reaction is over the top. It's their house. They can watch what they like on the TV.
Maybe your Dad thought 5 minutes of cartoons was enough.
I had to sit through hours (or it felt like hours) of bloody horse-racing when we went to my Grandad's and when I went to my cousins' house her Dad used to watch wall-to-wall football which we hated and we were put out in the garden from a very young age to play (3 and 5). I know that wouldn't happen these days but I'm early 40s so it's not forever ago and it would have been absolutely inconceivable that our parents would have been "livid" because we were only allowed to watch cartoons for 5 minutes.

However, that said, if your parents aren't interested in playing and interacting with the children then make shorter visits and take something for them to do while the adults chat (or Dad watches the news).

ZoeCM · 22/08/2020 17:54

You're completely overreacting, OP

Quaagars · 22/08/2020 17:54

"Livid"? Because there was no cartoons?
Bit OTT

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 22/08/2020 17:54

Reminds me of my vile Victorian grandfather who believed "children should be seen and not heard". We used to have to visit every bloody Sunday for lunch, when we had to sit still and not speak and then after lunch he would put the radio on and we all had to be quiet whilst he listened to the racing commentary. (Actually, the radio commentary might have been after afternoon tea on Saturday, now I think of it - going to see the grandparents twice every week-end, no wonder I hated him!)