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Original poster

Garden fence would you be offended?

83 replies

Icantrememebrtheartist · 22/08/2020 14:37

Moved in to new house. Garden has a wooden fence about 5ft tall if that and it’s one with bigs gaps that you can completely see through. New neighbours are lovely but there is NO privacy at all. We both have children and their children stand on chairs to lean over our fence and watch us in our house, it drives me nuts.

Fence is now broken and we’ve discussed splitting the cost on replacing fence. I want to replace it with a 6ft “solid” fence So we both have “private” gardens. They are deeply offended by this and want another short fence. I think if we go ahead with a 6ft fence it will cause bad feeling. Would you put up the higher fence anyway?

OP posts:
Flatpackback · 22/08/2020 14:38

Yes definitely even if you have to pay for it all

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/08/2020 14:39

Whose fence is it

Mascaramademehappy · 22/08/2020 14:40

I’d explain that you prefer the tall fence and stick to your guns even if you have to pay it all yourself.

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 22/08/2020 14:40

If you get a solid fence make sure you get concrete posts, the gaps in a fence allow the wind to get through without bringing the fence down, if you get panels with the slats overlapping to make it solid it's more likely to come down in a wind storm.

If you're putting it on your side of the boundary you can have whatever you want, you just need to decide if you're willing to annoy the neighbours or not. Personally I would put in the 6ft fence, I hate overlooking neighbours but it depends on what kind of relationship you want.

Flatpackback · 22/08/2020 14:40

If it's not your fence put up a 6ft on your side of it

Ohtherewearethen · 22/08/2020 14:41

Why on earth would they be offended? It's not like you're long-yime neighbours or best friends. That seems to me like they are nosy parkers who like having a peep at the neighbours.

Flatpackback · 22/08/2020 14:41

The number of disputes on here over fences is ridiculous. Build your own, do what you like with it. Don't get into sharing things with neighbours.

Penguinnn · 22/08/2020 14:42

Pay for it yourself and put up the 6ft fence that would drive me bananas.

FizzyPink · 22/08/2020 14:42

Yes do what you prefer. I know our neighbours aren’t happy about our new 6ft fence but I was sick of them having a good nosy every time they walked past.
We’re the ground floor flat so they still get to lean out their window and peer in at us Hmm

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 22/08/2020 14:42

@Flatpackback

If it's not your fence put up a 6ft on your side of it
Grin this!

Why on earth would they insist on being able to see into each others gardens?! Madness. If you go for the taller one it may cause some awkwardness for a while, but if you don’t, it will still be awkward every time their kids peek over the fence to spy on you, so you may as well get the fence you want.

TidyDancer · 22/08/2020 14:42

Have they actually said it bothers them? If they've had an adverse reaction could it be to do with the cost?

Chamomileteaplease · 22/08/2020 14:44

Have you told them that you don't like their kids staring at you? If you do, they might understand your thinking Grin.

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/08/2020 14:47

Easy peasy..

'Ah but we are thinking about getting a rescue dog and that means we have to have a solid six foot fence or we won't be considered'...

And then if you dont actually want a dog, simply don't get one :D :D if its ever raised again 'oh well in the end we changed our minds'... :D

Nquartz · 22/08/2020 14:51

Who owns that side? Surely that info is vital to knowing how you can proceed.

If it's theirs let them out whatever fence up they want & then plant/put up something on your side.

Yours, do what you want.

GOODCAT · 22/08/2020 14:56

I am on your neighbours side and we have fallen out with our neighbours over this.

The fence is less than 6 inches from our window and would block out two thirds of the window. Don't give a stuff further down but that close to the window blocks all our light. I have zero interest in what they are doing.

If they have a narrow garden I can see why it would be annoying there.

Whatthebloodyell · 22/08/2020 14:56

Deeply offended seems a bit of an over reaction. However some people don’t like 6ft fences as it makes the garden feel more enclosed. I wouldn’t like 6ft fences surrounding my small garden. Instead we have 5 ft fence panels on top of gravel
boards. I think if it is a shared boundary it would be pretty shitty of you to disregard their feelings. You need to try to come
To a compromise. Maybe 5ft panels topped with trellising?

Original poster
Icantrememebrtheartist · 22/08/2020 14:57

We have a strange set up we “share” the fence.

It isn’t because of the cost they’ve said they can afford it.

We’ve told our children very loudly on several occasions not to look through the fence because it’s rude, that our neighbours garden is their garden etc. We’ve also had problems with their children asking our children to pass toys over the fence, then their children won’t give them back. They take a very “they’re just being children” approach to peering in to our house, hanging over the fence, refusing to give back toys.

OP posts:
Beachbodylonggone · 22/08/2020 14:58

Maybe they prefer you amusing their dc over the fence to doing it themselves! One of my ndn was happy for her to ds to throw knives at my ddogs.
6 ft fence went up.
Sharing a drive with them was bad enough.

Original poster
Icantrememebrtheartist · 22/08/2020 14:58

The reason we’ve told our children not to watch them in their garden is because we felt if we make sure our children don’t do it, we hoped they would pick up o. It and make sure their children do t. It hasn’t worked.

OP posts:
imissthesouth · 22/08/2020 14:59

Definitely put the 6ft fence up, if they're adamant they want a 5ft then either put a 6ft fence up at your side, or grow some climbers up with a trillis, that'll also deter the children from standing and peering over

Original poster
Icantrememebrtheartist · 22/08/2020 14:59

Oops typos should say we hoped they would make sure their children Don’t do it.

OP posts:
DonLewis · 22/08/2020 15:01

What's the saying?

Good tall, solid fences make good neighbours?

TheVanguardSix · 22/08/2020 15:04

Yes, first of all, you have to figure out if it is indeed your fence.
We went with a 6-foot fence and my neighbours were a bit unhappy. It wasn't the look of it, but the statement. And we did it because we wanted more privacy.

Anyway, next door had asked if there was a reason we went so high with the fence. I apologised for installing Trump's Mexican Wall (because to be honest, I was in hospital for a week while the fence went up and I was actually quite taken aback myself by its height when I came home and saw it).
It's great! It's been a few months and both sides have been able to grow lots of climbers and creepers. And with lockdown and months of people being at home, I am SO, SO glad we got the high fence.
Go high! The neighbours will get over it. Just be nice to them. That's all you can be with neighbours. We're still on incredibly good terms with our neighbours. They've gotten used to it.

NoParticularPattern · 22/08/2020 15:04

Just put your own additional fence up if they’re not going to agree and are insisting on sharing the fence. They might be able to say no to you changing the shared fence to 6ft but they’ve got absolutely no grounds to object to you erecting a new 6ft fence entirely on your own land

user1471538283 · 22/08/2020 15:08

I don't like the sound of this. Get the tallest most robust fence you can and install it. I'd also get cedars or something similar to give you proper privacy. They are only neighbours they are not your friends. I am of course coloured by my experiences but I am sick of neighbours thinking that they own everything