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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Garden fence would you be offended?

83 replies

Icantrememebrtheartist · 22/08/2020 14:37

Moved in to new house. Garden has a wooden fence about 5ft tall if that and it’s one with bigs gaps that you can completely see through. New neighbours are lovely but there is NO privacy at all. We both have children and their children stand on chairs to lean over our fence and watch us in our house, it drives me nuts.

Fence is now broken and we’ve discussed splitting the cost on replacing fence. I want to replace it with a 6ft “solid” fence So we both have “private” gardens. They are deeply offended by this and want another short fence. I think if we go ahead with a 6ft fence it will cause bad feeling. Would you put up the higher fence anyway?

OP posts:
HazelBite · 22/08/2020 16:06

Just hint that the fence has impinged on your naturist tendencies this summer!

Fancynancy01 · 22/08/2020 16:09

Just get your fence it's nothing to do with the neighbours. We had a tiny fence in our front garden on one side and a shared ginnell on the other, both neighbours have dogs and so do we, we couldn't let our dog out off the lead for months. We put up a 5ft featherboard fence and although it felt so high at the time it's the best thing I've done, privacy and my dog can go out and I don't have to worry. We couldn't afford to do the back garden (which is falling down) so chose to do the front instead. A little odd considering its normally short fences at the front but neighhours are happy and we can still chat when we want to. We are now all free to potter around in our own gardens and not have to feel sociable all the time

Whyareblokesonhere · 22/08/2020 16:10

Can you 5ft fence with trellis? On top, stop the leaning over but maybe a compromise, not that you should have to but still

Fancynancy01 · 22/08/2020 16:11

I say nothing to do with the neighbours ( in your case I don't feel it is, ours was but luckily our neighbours also liked their own privacy

BluePaintSample · 22/08/2020 16:15

Get the tall fence you want. If they insist on the 5ft fence tell them that they can go ahead and pay for that themselves and you will just install a 6 ft high fence on your side of the boundary.

I would use the rescue dog angle rather than I am sick of you all peering through or over the fence and using us as your entertainment.

My friend's neighbour's daughter would stand on a storage container and peer over the fence. I would have told her to get the fuck down and grown a prickly bush where she peeps over. So rude to allow children to do this.

heartsonacake · 22/08/2020 16:19

100% make it 6ft. If they won’t agree just pay for your entirely own fence next to their little one.

When you say they’re offended, what exactly did they say when you told them you wanted 6ft?!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 22/08/2020 16:22

Go for the 6' fence. We keep talking about moving and a high fence is important as we intend to cat proof the garden again. If the neighbours don't like it we'll have to put a fence on our side of the boundary. I wouldn't want to fall out but it would be important to us

Suzi888 · 22/08/2020 16:25

Yes, say you are thinking of getting a dog, a chihuahua.... in the future or rabbit whatever.

Highlights12 · 22/08/2020 16:28

@Pogmella
Take up topless sunbathing..

God no don't do this then you'll have the husband aswell as the kids peering through the fenceGrin

sergeilavrov · 22/08/2020 16:33

Present the options of (a) the six foot solid fence with concrete posts that will stand up to the weather; (b) the construction of a seven ft wall, which offers better 'shade' in your garden; or (c) the ugliest 6ft metal railings with sharp spikes on top to help counter potential burglars, including anti-climb paint on both sides.

You'll find your initial proposal (a) receives a more positive reception.

Xenia · 22/08/2020 16:47

Also check if there are any rules or laws about fence heights. My son has bought a nearly built house and it has rules even though they are all freeholds on the estate. They are very useful. Some neighbours of his were able to use the rules to make someone take down a massive flagpole that person had put up in his garden that was awful.

I have just been working on my fence extension panel but am very lucky it is behind my trees anyway and secondly my neighbour and I both like tall fences and lots of much taller trees in front of them so we have all that nature and boundaries. In fact I want to get this extension up next week when my son is back just in case I ever lose this elderly neighbour and the next people want smaller fences. It is harder to object to something which is already there when you move in.

wibdib · 22/08/2020 16:50

Say that they are forcing you to get it by not respecting your privacy and because the kids keep nicking your kids toys and refusing to return them. What else can you do?!? Point out it’s horrible being watched all the time and worrying about your children being bullied into handing over toys so the only solution available to you is a proper fence.

Don’t apologise or gloat - just be factual, it is what it is.

Brahumbug · 22/08/2020 16:53

Do go for the fence you want, but could you make sure that you leave access for hedgehogs? Garden fences are contributing to their decline.

Wondersense · 22/08/2020 16:55

@Kazzyhoward

This fence could actually add to its value.

I'd agree with that. When we were looking at houses, low fences were always a big turn off. We don't mind our garden being overlooked from neighbours' upstairs windows etc (we're unlikely to be prancing around naked), but we really don't want to have Mrs Miggins from next door shouting over to talk every time we go out, and certainly wouldn't want her kids looking over the fence or the fence being so low that their toys/balls were constantly coming into our garden.

We have very, very low fences in our crappy new build house which we rent. It's just awkward. I don't like the pressure to say or hello or make small talk to people who just aren't very nice, and you definitely feel that more if you're sat right next to someone on a deckchair with only a hip high fence to separate you. There's zero privacy here, and we are looked upon from every corner of our garden. The cherry on the top was when a neighbour down the street got his drone out (illegally), and was clearly fascinated by whatever I was doing my garden (I'm very sure he has a live feed camera on it).
LEELULUMPKIN · 22/08/2020 16:55

Don't forget to have Hedgehog highways put in your new fence OP!!

Wondersense · 22/08/2020 16:56

[quote Highlights12]@Pogmella
Take up topless sunbathing..

God no don't do this then you'll have the husband aswell as the kids peering through the fenceGrin[/quote]
True, although I'm sure his wife would then be more than happy to pay for the fence herself!! XD

AtomicRabbit · 22/08/2020 16:58

Trellis. Problem solved. Also, get some blinds and pull them down every time the little blighters are staring in. Once there's nothing to watch they'll soon get bored of trying to watch you.

What a bunch of weirdos!!

Bonkersblond · 22/08/2020 17:01

Fence with trellis at the top, fast growing climbers, the issue will disappear as the climbers grow.

PlanDeRaccordement · 22/08/2020 17:02

Just, if you’re putting a new fence up, leave a gap at the bottom so that hedgehogs can move freely through the gardens. They tend to roam to gardens and will eat your slugs and snails. They can’t survive in one garden alone. They’ve been added to the vulnerable to extinction endangered species list and having gaps of a few inches at the bottom of your fence and gate is all you need to do your part to save the British hedgehog from extinction.

PlanDeRaccordement · 22/08/2020 17:03

@LEELULUMPKIN

Don't forget to have Hedgehog highways put in your new fence OP!!
So happy to see another hedgehog advocate!
SmudgeButt · 22/08/2020 17:06

forget getting a new fence. plant some really lovely, fragrant and exceedingly thorny roses on your side. we had one (called compassion for some reason) that grew exceedingly fast and had thorns that would slice open a rhino. no child would lean into that more than once.

LEELULUMPKIN · 22/08/2020 17:10

@PlanDeRaccordement I don't think people are aware of just how endangered they are, especially with so many new builds.

They have been a sheer joy through lockdown. I started off with one boar then another turned up, a couple of days later a sow and her little hoglet!!

I now feed all four on a nightly basis and can set my watch by them!

The two boars arrive together really late at night stumbling along like they are stopping off for a kebab after an night on the lash! :)

WendyHoused · 22/08/2020 17:11

@LEELULUMPKIN

Don't forget to have Hedgehog highways put in your new fence OP!!
Ha! just about to post the same thing - there are concrete gravelboards you can buy for fences that have hedgehog gaps in them.

Failing that, a small hole cut in the fence and a ramp or step either side to help the hogs access it.

CraftyGin · 22/08/2020 17:12

I don’t get this ‘little englander’ approach to garden privacy.

I was brought up with a 3’ fence and DH no fence at all. If you have children in both gardens, why on earth would you want a fence?

heartsonacake · 22/08/2020 17:15

@CraftyGin

I don’t get this ‘little englander’ approach to garden privacy.

I was brought up with a 3’ fence and DH no fence at all. If you have children in both gardens, why on earth would you want a fence?

For privacy, obviously Confused
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