Aibu to leave 2 week old DD in her cot whilst I shower?

[Boomclaps]

Right, so I realise my anxiety is through the ducking roof. I’ve been referred to MH for this and I am getting help. But DP went back to work a couple of days ago, with 6am starts and I haven’t had a shower since then.
Can I leave DD in her cot (she’s sleeping after morning BF),in our bedroom for a few mins whilst I stop myself smelling like stale breast milk and cleanse my stitches?

I used to shower every morning while DC screamed house down from his cot (didnt like being put down) I hated it but needs must and I felt more human and able to cope once I showered

If you are feeling worried I second bouncer/Moses basket on the floor while you shower, or take a baby monitor with you.

You need to look after yourself. It gets easier when they are a little older, it’s definitely fine to leave them while they nap!

If you're worried op, just think how many women have newborns and older children to look after as well..it's fine to leave your baby in a safe place for a few moments whilst you wash, go to the loo, make yourself some food. I used to have a quick shower...then put my baby in the bouncy chair in the bedroom whilst I got dressed and did my hair and makeup. My DC are much older now but I still take thirty second showers, old habits I guess

Oh I remember this well. Yes leave the doors open and have a lovely hot shower. You could maybe squeeze in a hot cup of tea if she is still asleep when you have come out of the shower!

YES. Then while she's still asleep, go downstairs, make a cup of tea, or start making lunch, phone your friend. wash up, feed the cat, put a washing in the machine. Or just lie on the sofa with your feet up and rest.

While baby is asleep between feeds, or even just peacefully awake , that's the time to do everything else. That's how new mumhood works.

It can be absolutely normal to feel this level of anxious at the beginning, but great that you're getting some help quickly too - I left it far too long. So well done.
And yes, absolutely you can! Can you try to time it for after a feed, so baby naps throughout and you can actually enjoy the shower without rushing? X

Hearing phantom crying in the shower is totally normal too. It doesn't mean you're losing it. I still get it occasionally and my dd is 3!

@OnceUponATimeInHollywood

Aaww of course you can! I remember someone telling me I would have to give up my "daily" bath routine once baby was here. I laughed and said "of course I wouldn't". I think its a choice you have to make. I certainly cut down my bath time from 20mins to 10 (just learned to do everything quicker, shaving etc) but I found I was a happier mum to my baby because I was clean.

Congratulations.😊

LOL. When our kids were small, we had a downstairs bathroom next to the diningroom. I learnt to run my bath, wash, dry and dress myself in the space of time it takes four kids under six to eat their weetabix.

I always reckoned that motherhood was a perfect place to put into practice all my professional management skills.

Next week's tutorial ; One Bath, Four Kids, Four pairs of Pyjamas.

I remember not ever wanting to take my eyes off my son. Don't know whether it was anxiety, or just pure awe that I'd created this beautiful creature, but I never did anything if he wasn't in my line of sight. We live in a townhouse so washer is downstairs, kitchen is downstairs and most of the time we didn't leave the middle floor.

Looking back if I could do it all again, I'd just leave him in a safe space even while he's awake because babies are boring. All those hours I could have been eating/sleeping/showering/playing games/literally anything I wanted, were just spent looking at a baby who occasionally made a cute noise, or a fart.

I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and reclaim some of those hours.

It's absolutely fine, just leave the door open. You'll develop super mum hearing! You could bring baby to just outside the door if it makes you feel easier.

Alternatively, leave showering / bathing until the night when your partner can be on baby duty and just have a quick wash in the sink in the morning.

I think you would cause less offence by just getting married at the registry office and then having a celebratory meal afterwards. They will be hurt, they probably won't show it but they will be. And I bet DP will be quite upset too.

NameChange657 I think you may be on the wrong thread..

I suffered with anxiety with my first baby as well and It’s very hard for you. The best thing you can do though is look after yourself. Put the baby in a Moses basket within earshot if it helps or use a monitor. I found monitors a bit of a waste of money though as I just kept baby near. Someone gave me a Small light wooden Rocking crib with my second and it felt very safe to leave in it (just mattress and cover)

Yes! And enjoy it while you can. In my exp I was only able to do this in the very newborn stage. After that, make sure your partner takes the baby so you can shower daily. It really helps you cope.

If you have a moses basket put baby in there and take them in the bathroom with you so you can check them easily, that's what I did with my son when he was a baby

From day one of my baby was asleep in the morning I’d leave him in his crib and have a nice shower and then plank him on the bathroom floor in a sleep mat thing if he wasn’t. He’d cry sometimes but it didn’t hurt him

Absolutely. Your self care is important.

I have a 4 year old and 14 week old, as tiddly babies I bring them into the bathroom with me in a bouncy seat, Moses basket, etc.

My 4 year old sits on the closed loo lid- uninvited

Also, has someone who just had to have a poo while entertaining a toddler, please take advantage of this lovely time when they will stay where you leave them to enjoy your bathroom in peace!