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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to leave 2 week old DD in her cot whilst I shower?

118 replies

Boomclaps · 22/08/2020 07:50

Right, so I realise my anxiety is through the ducking roof. I’ve been referred to MH for this and I am getting help. But DP went back to work a couple of days ago, with 6am starts and I haven’t had a shower since then.
Can I leave DD in her cot (she’s sleeping after morning BF),in our bedroom for a few mins whilst I stop myself smelling like stale breast milk and cleanse my stitches?

OP posts:
Echobelly · 22/08/2020 10:03

Yes, please do leave her to have a shower. And to go to the loo etc now as she gets older. I don't get these mums who say they can't shower or go to the loo in peace when they have babies/small children because they constantly come in. You can shut the door! And lock it! You have a right to that space.

mindutopia · 22/08/2020 10:03

Yes, of course, I also used to put mine in the bouncer or in the car seat and bring them into the bathroom with me. Also, dh literally had them the entire time he was home, as soon as he was in the door after work and showered. They went to him in the sling so I could eat dinner and shower and sleep, except for feeds for the rest of the evening. Same with mornings, he would be up giving me a lie in or a chance to do something in the morning before he left for work.

Elsa8 · 22/08/2020 10:04

Yes, definitely fine! You could also put them on the changing mat on the bathroom floor too, I used to do this and sing / chat away.

Autumnsloth · 22/08/2020 10:05

Adding to the yeses!!

Can I also just say baby asleep in Moses basket at 2 weeks? Well done!! My DS refused to sleep in one until about 8 weeks, nightmare.

Nobeautysleep · 22/08/2020 10:11

Of course you can. It’s so important that you take care of yourself and keep your stitches clean. I used to put my baby in a bouncer and put it in the bathroom doorway so I could have a bath too.

TitsOutForHarambe · 22/08/2020 10:14

I would do it even if she was awake and crying. A shower can be quick if necessary.

You MUST take care of yourself. It is so, so important to do this when you become a mother. It took me far too long to learn that lesson.

Besides, so soon after giving birth and starting breastfeeding you are actually risking a lot of health complications by not showering enough. So there's another very compelling reason why you should go and have a nice hot shower right now.

DriftGames · 22/08/2020 10:15

Of course! Make the most of this age where you can pop her in her safe cot space and know she will be there when you return, likely still sleeping!

My DD is 9mo and I've been through the bouncer in the bathroom door phase, we're currently on jumperoo in the landing!

Enjoy your little one and take care of yourself OP ThanksCake

Scrap2020 · 22/08/2020 10:16

I was on my own from 7 months pregnant OP, so I took baby home from hospital alone and I had to work through it all, it is doable but hard/worrying Smile

TitsOutForHarambe · 22/08/2020 10:16

Ah, I missed the boat... I'm guessing you've finished your shower by now lol.

Please listen to everyone telling you to look after yourself. You are a priority.

Gingerfish91 · 22/08/2020 10:18

First baby is such a stressful time. I was a wreck for the first month or so and couldn’t figure out how you were supposed to do everything and look after a baby. It definitely gets easier as time goes on. All normal feelings. My rule was to get as much done as possible while the baby slept so go enjoy your shower. X

I’ve got 3 with just a year between the younger two. You become an expert at juggling 10 things at once by the time the second comes along x

Barton10 · 22/08/2020 10:23

I used to put mine in the car seat in the bathroom with me as I didn’t want to leave them.

cansu · 22/08/2020 10:29

If she is asleep then of course you do. If she is unsettled, put her in a bouncy chair where she can see you. It is fine to leave her somewhere safe whilst you do things. When mine were very small, I had a little bouncy chair with handles that I used to move around the house while I did things. However, if they were asleep, I would leave them be and just pop back in to check on them every so often.

DancingCatGif · 22/08/2020 10:33

"My DS refused to sleep in one until about 8 weeks, nightmare."

I think mine was 12 weeks or so. It was so hard.

Marshmallow91 · 22/08/2020 10:37

Of course it is. I only realise this now because my little one is now 18 months and she's happy sitting with mum playing while I shower. When she was that age I watched her literally every second I was awake which was about 22 hours a day. I showered once a week because I was convinced something horrific would happen if I ever put her down. She was never alone. I wish I'd realised how mad I was sooner.

Itisbetter · 22/08/2020 10:40

Yes it’s absolutely fine and sensible to do that.

Itisbetter · 22/08/2020 10:42

Nb car seats are very useful too as you can pop her in to load the washing machine, etc. Your Dh could have looked after her while you had a shower in the evening too.

alphabetsoup1980 · 22/08/2020 11:01

I used to either put in car seat or use the pram top!

loudev · 22/08/2020 11:07

Definitely fine.

MitziK · 22/08/2020 11:32

@Mywifeandkids1

That’s fine but I’d personally put baby in a bouncer or Moses basket in the bathroom with me 😊
If I'd tried that, I'd have had to climb over her to get in and out and she'd have needed an umbrella over her to stop her getting wet. With the number of stitches I had, there was no way I wanted to risk doing the splits. And nobody needs infected stitches.

She'll be fine in the cot for ten minutes.

TwoShades1 · 22/08/2020 11:56

Yes she will be completely fine. I used to put DD in a boin

TwoShades1 · 22/08/2020 11:57

Posted too soon! I put DD in a bouncer in the bathroom with me.

maddening · 22/08/2020 11:59

If you are worried pop a moses basket in the bathroom and have a lovely long bath, she will be right there in eyesight and you can relax.

If you just want a shower she will be absolutely fine in her cot for 10 mins.

Lemondrops41 · 22/08/2020 12:00

I used to put my baby in a bouncy chair after a feed and the noise of the shower would put him to sleep. I'd get a nice long shower, dressed and have a quick tidy up bed he woke up.

Now he's too old to sleep so I sit him in his toddler seat with a slice of toast!

AlternativePerspective · 22/08/2020 12:07

Yes it’s absolutely fine.

Her cot is a safe space for her, in fact I put mine in his cot while I did things upstairs from day1 that way when I moved him from his Moses basket into a cot it wasn’t a daunting place for him as he was used to it.

When he got a bit older I had a playpen so I used to pop him in there if I needed to do something. It was full of his toys and he was safe there too.

OnceUponATimeInHollywood · 22/08/2020 12:16

Aaww of course you can!
I remember someone telling me I would have to give up my "daily" bath routine once baby was here. I laughed and said "of course I wouldn't". I think its a choice you have to make. I certainly cut down my bath time from 20mins to 10 (just learned to do everything quicker, shaving etc) but I found I was a happier mum to my baby because I was clean.

Congratulations.😊

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