Page 10 | The Secret

DGRossetti · 22/08/2020 13:52

At the risk of continuing the derail: I am pretty sure you could cover this stuff a lot better than me DG.

?

I like to throw spanners both ways. Woo merchants get all they deserve when they disconnect their brains. And scientists can occasionally do with taking down a peg or two when they start off spouting bollocks.

LadyCatStark · 22/08/2020 13:58

I totally get it with jobs, money etc. You can positively think your way to a better life by making your own life chances. But what about things that are outside of your control? We needed something to happen just before Christmas last year. I begged, prayed, thought positively until I was blue in the face but it was completely out of our control and the thing that we needed to happen... didn’t. It was truly devastating and only served to prove that there is no God/ higher power/ karma/ whatever you want to call it.

donquixotedelamancha · 22/08/2020 14:02

And scientists can occasionally do with taking down a peg or two when they start off spouting bollocks.

What did you think was bollocks?

Oliversmumsarmy · 22/08/2020 14:04

Instead of asking, sometimes I’d just get a feeling - like, I needed to go to a specific place (sort of like the felix potion in Harry Potter) and I always met or came across something or someone which turned out to be super fortunate for me. This happened more as a child, rarely happens now

I can relate to this.

Sometimes when I have done something, like had a go on Tombola, almost the world slows down as I pick the ticket and I know it will be a winner or I do something and I know it will be incredibly important even though it seems innocuous at the time.

I don’t think you can escape your fate but I think asking the universe for something innocuous or something you are looking for can work.

Friend’s Dh said they should ask the universe for something and friend added in an extra request that she didn’t believe was even a thing she could get just to prove to dh that asking the universe for something was silly

Imagine her surprise when a few days later
the thing they had been looking for including the extra request was brought to them.

Friend couldn’t believe it.

I once saw a programme years ago on lucky and unlucky people.

What I took away from it was lucky people were a lot more open to noticing things.

I.e they had the lucky and unlucky people walk down a street and the lucky people picked up the money that was left on the floor whilst the unlucky people didn’t see it.

I always think how you ask for things, the words you use, plays a big part in what you get and that isn’t just about asking the universe for things.

Tapiocaisbleurgh · 22/08/2020 14:51

How does the secret work for victims of crime?
How does it work for those suffering from intense stress?
If it works, maybe someone should ask if it for world peace, end to hunger, Covid cure

imissthesouth · 22/08/2020 15:01

I don't necessarily believe in "the secret" but definitely the law of attraction (basically the foundations of this" in which a positive mindset will give you positive results, if you go around with negative energy you will attract negative things. Now of course this doesn't work with people getting terrible illnesses etc, but if you believe you won't get a job, going to the interview negative won't help you, whereas a positive mindset will

serenada · 22/08/2020 20:20

Thanks, @donquixotedelamancha

I find Physics extraordinarily interesting (my old Physics teacher would faint to hear that) and I have been reading up on some basics (primary level!!!!) as I was so bad at it.

But it won't be beyond me and my brain won't rest until I figure some things out. I envy anyone with that knowledge - swop you for some poetry or MAdonna songs from the 80s? I got a brain full of that

MitziK · 22/08/2020 21:26

It's bullshit like this that leads my ex to believe that I brought autoimmune disease on myself - he thinks that I wanted it so I could be 'disabled and on benefits like an old woman' and my 'demented mind' made my body respond in kind. That is , when he believes the disease exists in the first place and I'm not actually a very skilled actress who is easily fit enough to climb mountains, run marathons and probably skydive without a parachute who has fooled everyone in order to live a life of luxury on sickness benefits for the rest of my life.

I'm disabled, yes. But I don't claim any benefits - not a single one. I'm knocking on a bit now, but I was in my twenties at the time. And I'd already been diagnosed with 'something joint related' by the age of 6.

He also believes that if I really wanted to, I'd be able to cure myself.

I did wonder whether he could let the NHS know, as they'd probably love to be able to harness that miracle cure and save themselves ten grand per person currently on biologics, but that was being ridiculous, apparently.

AbsentmindedWoman · 22/08/2020 22:08

I hate the bullshit of the secret and the law of attraction.

Having a positive mindset is of course helpful - like when posters give the example of going to a job interview.

But a positive mindset does not exist in a vacuum. It's easy to be positive when you haven't been systematically ground down under the heel of 'the universe', or anyone else such as the people who refuse to pay disabled people the benefits they are rightfully entitled to, for a long time. Hard to be Pollyanna if your PIP has stopped with a year long wait to appeal, and of course because you now don't have PIP you suddenly lose a serious chunk of housing benefit so now you can't pay the rent.

The 'lucky people' thing is interesting, because it's more complex than just assuming yourself to be a lucky person, or the reverse. It is logical, as a poster outlined, that the lucky people are essentially making a lot of their own luck by the way they live their lives, like with the example given of being sociable leading to having a lot of friends should you be in a pickle and need someone to advise or help you. Same with having a lot of professional contacts - don't quite a lot of people get a new job because they know someone who knows they can do the job well, so is happy to put their CV in front of HR?

But there is still an element of pure dumb luck/ privilege (whatever you want to call it) involved. If you are able-bodied, with a bit of disposable income, and don't have small children at home relying on you as the sole caregiver - then having a social life is reasonably accessible to you.

If you are disabled, have very little energy and/ or money, or are a single parent, there are immediate barriers to building a social network.

This pretty much applies to every situation. The Secret my arse. The only secret is that so many people are invested in refusing to acknowledge their (sometimes huge) amounts of privilege, pretending instead that they're so speshul that they magicked the universe into granting them their heart's desire. All because of their profound ability to wish harder than anybody else

BananaShackles · 22/08/2020 22:41

Good post, @AbsentmindedWoman.

Somethingkindaoooo · 22/08/2020 23:00

Also placemarking

GoldenKelpie · 23/08/2020 09:51

@Stackys

AIBU to give “the secret” any thought?

I toyed with it years ago. Asked “the universe” for a £10 note. Walking through York the night after, found a wet soggy £10 note on the floor in a graveyard.

Played with it again a few weeks later. Asked the universe for a red balloon. Immediately afterwards I put YouTube on to listen to some music and the first recommended video was a song called something like “10 red balloons”. I’d never heard of the song before.

When I was a child, before I knew of “the secret” we were moving house and I desperately wanted a garden with steps in it. That would have been highly unusual in this area but I kept on thinking about it obsessively. The house we moved to had steps in the garden (the only house in the whole street that did).

My friend goes on about the secret all the time, I put all my “successes” down to coincidence as the alternative sounds batshit but some people truly believe it works, intelligent people!!

I watched the movie yesterday and I’ve decided I want £50k in my bank by New Year’s Eve 😂 ironically DH said to me this morning “we have nearly x amount in bank! The most we’ve ever had!” (Nowhere near £50k) ... maybe it’s already working lol

This is of course lighthearted but I’d be interested to hear other people’s experiences of it?! Please don’t turn it into a “you’re a fucking imbecile OP” type thread, it’s just for fun.

I've found lots of fivers and tenners in the street over the years but never 'asked' for them. What does this mean?

I am wondering if you are getting mixed up with making plans for the future, something I do.

For example, I decided to find a job which was more local to me and I could walk to, not use a car to commute. This would be (a) healthier for me and (b) mean we would just need one family car, not run two.

It took three years before I was able to find a more local job which ticked all my particular requirements (I'm fussy). That is nothing to do with asking 'The Universe' for anything, it is just planning and looking at options and working towards a goal.

You don't need to 'ask the universe' for anything, just decide what you want to achieve, be it qualifications, moving to a new area, and make a plan of how you can achieve it. It may take years, but planning is the key.

ZaraW · 23/08/2020 11:26

For people who believe this. How do you cope when the "Universe" doesn't give you what you want? Serious illness, bereavement of friends and family, unemployment, divorce etc.

I've always been a positive person it got me through cancer treatment an abusive relationship etc. It was my own determination that got me through. Nothing more.

Oliversmumsarmy · 23/08/2020 12:55

Someone I know quite well has always been a negative person.

Terrible things happen to her.

But the more I have got to know her the more I see a pattern that to some extent if she took on the principals of The Secret it might just change her life.
This is not about asking the universe for things but how she uses her words to ask people for things

If she does ask someone for something it is done in away that she almost answers the question with such negativity and ends with a phrase that says it is ok I don’t really need your help then wonders why she comes away empty handed.
Then she moans about never getting what she wants

I saw a few articles and bits of programmes about people with one of her illnesses and how a particular change of diet within a couple of months eased the symptoms or got rid of them almost altogether.

She won’t try it as she knows it won’t work.

I think positive people help themselves with the words they use, how they interact with other people and how they get over problems.
The “secret” is that they look to themselves to get through things and use what ever help they can get. If that is asking the Universe or friends for something then whether they know they are doing it or not they ask for help and expect it.

Whereas a more negative person can be more passive and expects for people to know what they want automatically. They ask for help but don’t expect it.
Ds when he was younger thought he was so unlucky. He would come away from groups not getting what he wanted. It has taken several years to get him to ask for what he wants using direct word rather than the hints that no one knew meant anything.

I think The Secret does work but more about deciding what you want and working towards that goal.

The op asked for £5 and so she was actively looking for £5.
If she hadn’t asked or didn’t expect to find £5 who is to say she would have just not noticed it and walked by.

ZaraW · 23/08/2020 13:49

I still think it's just having a positive attitude. Though bad things will happen to us all. The universe has nothing to do with it. It doesn't protect us from death, unemployment, debt, illness etc. Their is no secret.

smallestleaf · 23/08/2020 14:14

Great post @AbsentmindedWoman, especially this:

All because of their profound ability to wish harder than anybody else

Grapewrath · 23/08/2020 14:29

I don’t think anyone causes their own disease. That’s not what I said- but I do think that stress increases our susceptibility to disease in many cases. Therefore living a healthy life and trying to counteract stress with wellbeing and self care is helpful to your general health.
Of course there are some genetic factors and just some shit luck but stress and poor mental health is also linked to many illnesses. That’s not to say it’s all in our control, but some is. That’s why so many of us pursue a health diet etc.
I have a long term chronic illness and it definitely arises from a time of stress and low
mood. Mindset is a huge factor in managing the symptoms for me anyway.

Clipclop10 · 23/08/2020 14:49

I would like to put the other side to this for those that think it's harmless.

I learnt about this when I was young and impressionable by someone who didn't realise as a child I would take it seriously. I believed that asking the universe worked if you really tried hard enough.
This was confirmed when I wished for a certain boy I liked to ask me out, I hadn't even really 'ordered' it hard, so maybe I was super power and special at this asking the universe stuff.

What it also did was make me believe that everything I wished for would be given to me by the universe. So when I had an intrusive thought like most people do occasionally, I believed that thought was going to happen because I had inadvertently asked it of the universe. I became so worried about what I was thinking and how I had to try and control all my thoughts. A normal person would just let intrusive thoughts go and ignore them but I became so upset that I had just thought about my mother dying and now she would or I had thought about a friend having a car accident and now that was going to happen that I became an absolute wreck mentally.
One of my most vivid memories of this was when I was about 12 and saw a baby in a pram. I remember having one of these intrusive thoughts of 'he might die' and I just crippled myself with regret and grief that I had caused that child's death (I'm sure the child led a happy healthy life is married with kids by now).
I spent most of my childhood terrified and filled with grief and remorse about all of these horrible things I was making the universe do. I was terrified everyone I loved would die because of me and I'd be alone. The intrusive thoughts obviously got worse the more I tried to get rid of them. Looking back I'm amazed I managed to function as much as I did.

Even though as an adult I know it was all bollocks, as a child it was real and caused me untold damage. I have OCD and anxiety that I will always have to some level which is due in some part to this awful spiral of self loathing I had as a child, brought on by this 'cosmic ordering'.

OnceUponATimeInHollywood · 23/08/2020 14:54

I absolutely love the idea of this. Must try it.

JoysOfString · 23/08/2020 15:00

God cliclop how awful

I was very literal as a child and worried myself sick about stuff and I can totally see how that could happen.

Clipclop10 · 23/08/2020 15:09

JoysOfString
Thanks.

It was pretty shit tbh.
It's also amazing how much it effects me even now. My DH was late back from work the other day and I thought 'oh God what if he's had an accident' and then felt myself reverting back to thinking as I did as a child and had a literal panic attack thinking I might have just caused him to have an accident. Even though I know it's all bollocks now my brain and anxiety still seems to revert back to those awful feeings occasionally, especially when it's an intrusive thought which in turn make the intrusive thoughts all the more regular. It's quite amazing how things can become so ingrained.

Lifeisgenerallyfun · 23/08/2020 16:11

I’ve never heard of “the secret”
But sounds very similar to a fairly ancient way of interacting with the universe I have been following for a long time That works, I’m going to have a look and see how much has been nicked😂.

Lifeisgenerallyfun · 23/08/2020 16:44

Mmm just had a quick look at a sample from Amazon, as I thought from the descriptions above, it seems to be “heavily influenced” ahem by The Kyballion- a book setting out Hermetic Philosophy which is supposed to date from
Egyptian times And the Egyptian mystery schools. The book was written by the “three initiates” in the early 20th century (although the first recorded mention of the Emerald tablet and Hermeticism dates from about the 6th century AD and potentially arose from scholars working together from all over the world in the city of Alexandria). Many of the historical people she mentions In the foreword are very much linked into Hermeticism more widely and Rosicrucianism in particular. Sir Isaac Newton famously translated the Emerald tablet and much of his work rose out of alchemy (the Emerald tablet being the inspiration of the Philosophers stone - the holy grail of alchemy). Shakespeare - well if youre a Baconian Rather than a stratfordian or oxfordian almost counts as further Rosicrucian manefesto (well certainly the First Portfolio). Blake is rumoured to have been a Rosicrucian and seems to allude to many hermetic principles in his work. Crowley (once he had been chucked out of the Golden Dawn produced works with very similar ideas)

If you read any Rosicrucian or Hermetic works you’ll get a lot more information. A lot of the basis for these philosophies come from Jewish Kabbalah Does the book Mention all the sources?

MitziK · 23/08/2020 16:53

@imissthesouth

I don't necessarily believe in "the secret" but definitely the law of attraction (basically the foundations of this" in which a positive mindset will give you positive results, if you go around with negative energy you will attract negative things. Now of course this doesn't work with people getting terrible illnesses etc, but if you believe you won't get a job, going to the interview negative won't help you, whereas a positive mindset will

Didn't work too well for the arsehole ex. He strolled into a job interview convinced that, as he'd got the interview, the job was his.

He then proceeded to be such a dick to the interviewer (it was a sales job and he decided to hard sell a ten thousand pound increase on the salary because he was doing them a favour), the interviewer physically threw him out of the building.

So he went back to driving a van for a living, only, as he'd been so positive that he'd get the job, he'd told his boss to fuck off, he had to do agency work instead.

DP gets people like that every so often when administering various tests/qualifications. They don't like it when they fail said tests/examinations - the most recent one culminated in repeat visits to the premises demanding that somebody alter the records to a pass and when two weeks of harassment failed, the premises were smashed up. Because he 'knew' the fail was a fake and he was owed his pass certificate.

I think it's the same sort of people who also refuse to take No for an answer when they think they are entitled to a woman's (or man's) attention, time, body and phone number. A refusal, a reluctance, a false number, God forbid, a NO, and they're incandescent. They've asked the Universe, they've made sure they're in the Attract mode, they can't possibly be refused, the power of their mind, their 'energy' (the fuck?) and the universe means nobody can resist them. So they stalk, they harass, they tell all and sundry that this woman or man actually really, really loves them and they're meant to be together and they're scary as fuck. Partly because they believe in their magical powers as given to them by the Universe.

It's no difference from prayer. It is prayer (selfish prayer, so not really in the spirit of most religious traditions, but still, it's a prayer), just to something not called God - it's a demand for supernatural intervention. The book could just as easily be titled 'How to bend God to your Will and Get Anything You Want', rather than The Secret'.

And as such, it's utter bullshit created to support people's feelings of entitlement and superiority.

Sophiafour · 23/08/2020 16:55

I love a bit of woo but I'm very sceptical about a lot of it, having met way too many charlatans and egotistical folk on the New Age in my life. Plus we don't live too far from Glastonbury (the town not the festival) and if that doesn't open your eyes as to what's going on with a lot of these "spiritual leader" types there's not much that will...

The Secret isn't saying anything that various groups and individuals haven't been saying for centuries, it's just put in a nice little hardback book and tied up with a pretty red ribbon. (Or maybe that was just my copy.)

Some of it is to do with confirmation bias, as others have said; some of it is to do with where you put your focus in life.

Have a watch of some of the Derren Brown specials (they're on All4 at the moment) to see how easy it is to fool most people; and as other posters have said, a knowledge of symbolism, the Kabbalah, and various other esoteric (in some cases occult) sources will help you decide whether The Secret is what it says it is and just how new its ideas are.