The Secret

[Stackys]

AIBU to give “the secret” any thought?

I toyed with it years ago. Asked “the universe” for a £10 note. Walking through York the night after, found a wet soggy £10 note on the floor in a graveyard.

Played with it again a few weeks later. Asked the universe for a red balloon. Immediately afterwards I put YouTube on to listen to some music and the first recommended video was a song called something like “10 red balloons”. I’d never heard of the song before.

When I was a child, before I knew of “the secret” we were moving house and I desperately wanted a garden with steps in it. That would have been highly unusual in this area but I kept on thinking about it obsessively. The house we moved to had steps in the garden (the only house in the whole street that did).

My friend goes on about the secret all the time, I put all my “successes” down to coincidence as the alternative sounds batshit but some people truly believe it works, intelligent people!!

I watched the movie yesterday and I’ve decided I want £50k in my bank by New Year’s Eve 😂 ironically DH said to me this morning “we have nearly x amount in bank! The most we’ve ever had!” (Nowhere near £50k) ... maybe it’s already working lol

This is of course lighthearted but I’d be interested to hear other people’s experiences of it?! Please don’t turn it into a “you’re a fucking imbecile OP” type thread, it’s just for fun.

I do like the positive outlook side of it, and I think there is a lot to be said for living as though your goals are certainties and making congruent decisions. However I agree with the pp who said it blames people for their own misfortune as well

It's confirmation bias, isn't it?

You think about green cupcakes or whatever and the next time you see a picture of them you think "Wow, amazing, I was just thinking about that and wow here they are on my screen".

But your brain doesn't register the 100,000 other pictures you've already seen which aren't green cupcakes.

If you like Derren Brown he also has spoken a lot about this, in one of his books.

He did an entire show on it - about making your own luck and whether there were "lucky" and "unlucky" people. Had a hilarious scene where an self-diagnosed "unlucky" person managed to miss a lorry with a billboard with his name on it drive past him which sort of proved the point.

They also invented a "tradition" to see if peoples belief in luck could actually make a difference.

amazingly it's available in full - someones lucky day !

I like the idea of it, but I wonder how many of the posters on here have started out on an already privileged path, such as be intellectually bright, have a job with career opportunities, a supportive partner, etc. I dare say the person living in poverty, with a lack of education and who doesn’t have the skills needed to improve their lot, probably won’t find success.

Once, as a teenager, I can remember willing my phone to ring. I'm not sure why, maybe I was lonely or bored.

I was looking at my phone, thinking "ring, ring!" and then I got a withheld prank call. No one spoke but it happened just as I was thinking it.

Very weird.

I naively read it in early twenties and was gobsmacked at the logic. It's great that people want to think more positively but cosmic ordering and all that? Not for me. I've since read many a book on stoicism and am much happier with just being accepting of the good and bad in life. If I want money I earn it, if I want a decent fella I stop praying for a shitty one to become decent and actual consider the good ones. I agree with PP about the whole cancer thing. It must be awful for people who are trying to remain positive and beat it to be possibly told. Sorry not positive enough, or too late, you brought this on, you're out!

Reminds me of a Derren Brown thing where he tried to make someone lucky by literally putting money on the floor in front of them but the guy was in a negative mindset so didn't even notice. Would like to see that one again

@MoistMolly

Absolutely nobody is going to positive think themselves into being a millionaire

Why not? It either works or it doesn't. If I read the book and find out I can't resurrect the dead and create my zombie army, I'll be really disappointed.

You’re right, there’s zero difference between channeling positive thinking into helping yourself reach a goal and creating fictional monsters!

He also gave me a little exercise to do, a visualisation exercise, to imagine how I'd like my life to be in 6 to 12 months, how does it look like? How do I feel? Where am I?

I can barely envisage where I could be in the next 6 to12 hours . . .

Brilliant, thanks @DGRossetti

[quote DGRossetti]If you like Derren Brown he also has spoken a lot about this, in one of his books.

He did an entire show on it - about making your own luck and whether there were "lucky" and "unlucky" people. Had a hilarious scene where an self-diagnosed "unlucky" person managed to miss a lorry with a billboard with his name on it drive past him which sort of proved the point.

They also invented a "tradition" to see if peoples belief in luck could actually make a difference.

amazingly it's available in full - someones lucky day !

[/quote] Thank you for this link - I LOVE Derren Brown!

Napoleon is reputed to have believed in it. When choosing generals he would ask “Has he luck?”

People who believe nothing believe anything.

It’s not all about positive thinking though.
A lot of it is about a counterintuitive ‘fake it to make it’ mentality.
For instance. Which seems quite effective.

Oh don’t know what happened there
Missed out my example.

Who is the author of The Secret?I'm trying to look for it.

It's confirmation bias, isn't it?

I think so too.

Like when we got an orange and white cocker spaniel (not a very common colour) - suddenly everywhere we wen we saw orange and white cocker spaniels.

One woman not only had an orange and white one, but a black one, like our other cocker (difference was the sexes were reversed - we've got a black bitch and an O/W dog, and hers were the opposite).

The psychology behind target setting is quite sound. But there have been studies that show 'action boards' rather than 'vision boards' are more likely to help people achieve goals. The Secret just wraps it all up in magic and mysticism.

All you guys saying ' it works' seem to be describing is setting achievable goals and working hard towards them.

Why is the fact that this means you are more likely to achieve stuff, a Secret? Rather than blindingly obvious?

Daisy May Cooper is a believer in this, in a magazine interview she said 'I’ve attracted all of this from LOA, 100%. I’ve met some really famous actors – and my first question for them is always “do you believe in LOA?”. Every single one says yes, that that’s why they’re where they are today.'

Because a book called Blindingly Obvious wouldn't have sold as many copies?

The psychology behind target setting is quite sound. But there have been studies that show 'action boards' rather than 'vision boards' are more likely to help people achieve goals

Yes, I read a study on college students and it looked at their job/career goals. The ones who spent most time thinking about their dream job were LESS likely to have achieved it and had taken LESS action to achieve it. The researchers suggested this was because imagining being in their dream job made them feel happy and reduced their motivation to work towards it because they already felt happy. A bit of fear of failure can be a powerful motivator if it causes you work hard for what you want.

I think the 'growth' mindset approach is probably more helpful.

Actions hold you accountable to act on them.
Visions don't.
You'd need a tremendous drive to achieve just on a vision.

But a vision can (and should) lead to milestones and actions.
If I think "I wanna be a painter and be exposed at the Tate" thats a nice vision but unlikely to happen if I don't start by breaking down that goal into achievable actions (go the art shop / follow a fine art online class / etc...)