AIBU about a family coming and sitting right next to us on a beach.

[Pupppps]

DP and I took our DS (15) and DD (9) to the local beach for crabbing. It was quite quiet in terms of lots of space about. And plenty of spaces to crab as it is known as a crabbing spot.

We had been on the spot for about half an hour and DC were enjoying crabbing even though they were struggling to actually get any crabs.

Anyway, DD got bored so we played catch on a quiet section just up from DP and DS who were continuing to crab.
Anyway, about 5 minutes later, 2 young boys about 8 run up to DP and DS asking if they caught any crabs. DP was polite and said "just a few".
The mum then started walking towards the boys and laid her bads and crabbing equipment right next to DP and DS and she sat down.
I could see DP and DS looking uncomfortable.

About 2 minutes after that, the dad showed up and sat next to the mum. And then two teenage girls (about 15) came to sit by them so basically DP and DS looked like they were part of their group.

There were loads of other spots on the beach so I found this rude. I'd find it rude even if coronavirus wasn't about considering the beach was quiet and there were loads of spots - another family came a couple of minutes after and set up a good distance away so I don't understand why this family thought it was okay to surround DP and DS.

DP and DS packed up and said they didn't feel comfortable continuing crabbing there so we just went to get ice cream.

But AIBU to think this is rude?
I'll draw a diagram to show how close it was

We always =got annoyed at this when doing UK beach holidays when the children were young. We also had 2 dogs so set up our 'pitch' out of the way of the high tide line and from other people to avoid irritating anyone. You could guarantee that within an hour, another group of people would pitch their windbreak less than 6" from ours! its just what happens in public areas like beaches - we amused ourselves by placing bets among ourselves on how long it would take, how big the group would be, and how noisy they would be!! When the children got older they started digging holes in the sand on the other side of our windbreak and talked of fortifications and defensive works

YANBU. Despite what a lot of people have said here, I am pretty certain that most of us would find this annoying. If the beach is almost empty, then it's really just common courtesy that you don't set shop in closest proximity to another group that was there first.
On an almost empty bus for example, you don't sit right next to the one or two people already there if you don't know them. You create some distance.
Even more so in the current circumstances.
Fab diagram by the way!

@Cadent. That's easy to say on a forum. Not so much when you're in the situation, with your family, and you don't want to cause an altercation as you don't know how the other people are going to react. So it is perfectly normal to feel put out by it, question whether you're in the wrong and seek some assurances from a public forum.
You responding in the way you have is pointless, smug and unhelpful.

Despite what a lot of people have said here, I am pretty certain that most of us would find this annoying

Why? Why would people post to this thread to say they wouldn't be bothered if they would, in fact, be bothered?

On an almost empty bus for example, you don't sit right next to the one or two people already there if you don't know them. You create some distance.

That''s the point though. Although it's common sense to sit somewhere emptier, even before covid, "some" people can't help themselves and have to sit close to you, or even alongside you, despite numerous opportunities to sit somewhere else. Fair enough for people wanting to sit near the door (mobility difficulties etc), but I fail to see why someone would do it further down the bus or upstairs etc. yet they do!

I know (some) people are herd animals. But I often find they walk past the tons of other people who enjoy being crowded together and walk up to my spot that I've chosen as it's away from the herd. They then unpack tons of windbreakers, cricket equipment, tents etc so I absolutely have to move to get some space.

Sometimes I think they imagine you've got a good spot and rather than just thinking they've missed out by getting there later, they are going to share it with you or make you so uncomfortable you leave.

YANBU OP.

Same with random people starting up conversations with strangers and not getting the message they're not interested.

There are clear social signs when people want/don't want to be sociable. Those not wanting to be sociable won't make eye contact, they'll be sat in a cafe reading a book, or sat on a park bench reading a paper. They're giving off the "do not disturb" signals, but some people just can't accept that and some even regard it as some kind of challenge to get them to engage.

Those that want to be social give off opposite signals, they make eye contact, they smile as you approach, they're not reading a book/newspaper, etc.

For any normal person it's all pretty clear and obvious who wants a conversation and who doesn't. It's not rocket science.

I'm with the op (obviously SD though!) They were extremely rude, regardless of COVID. I would have asked them, politely, to not sit right on top of you. But I suspect they would be oblivious and not see why they should. Unfortunately, some people are like this.

Sometimes, just moving away is the only thing to do if you don't want a confrontation. Makes me seethe though.

The batshittery of this place never fails to astound.

AFAIK there is no upper age for crabbing. 15 isn’t too old. Neither is 99.

On threads like this there is always a cry of ‘DIAGRAM!!’ But when OP helpfully draws one she’s obsessed with too much time on her hands.

OP you can’t win love. Someone here will argue over the sky being blue and a dozen others join them just to be twats.

Apparently this phenomenon is called "flocking". There is an interesting article here www.wired.com/2013/02/human-flocking/

Some have the flocking instinct stronger than others it seems.

Not sure you're still reading OP but of course this is both rude & bloody annoying even before Covid.
A huge family pitched up directly behind my windbreak once & started unloading chairs, games, picnic etc, it was on a huge, almost empty beach.
DH & I couldn't believe it, we snatched our windbreak & moved.
The look on their faces was one of disbelief, I really don't think they knew how rude they'd been & just wanted to benefit from the windbreak!
The posters telling you to enjoy the company are the same ones who hide when their doorbell rings at home...

Had this once at a local country park. We were one of the first to arrive for the day so literally miles and miles of empty space. Car turns up an hour later and parks right next to us! They parked in such a way that us and them were sandwiched side by side in between our cars! This was years ago so would have annoyed me even before social distancing was a thing. I invested in some wind breakers to mark our spot out on to prevent people crowding us.

@Bereft2020

What do you do with the crabs?

15 is quite old for crabbing. Not a criticism - I mean it sounds fun and I hope that my kids enjoy such innocent pastimes at 15 (and not drinking jk the park).

15 too old for crabbing? Ridiculous.

Extroverts feel the need you seek others out and be near them. I think they do this to feel safer or something.

Introverts like to maintain a decent social distance from others and don't like that space being invaded.

The former often feel the need to inflict themselves upon others which creates resentment from the latter.

People should always try to be polite and socially aware - not be noisy, not ask personal questions, not space invade, demonstrate good manners etc.

People with poor manners are usually unaware of how their actions impact others.

I HATE it when people do this , empty beach , park etc and then pitch up right next to you . obviously from the replies on this thread those people can’t see that’s it’s odd to you and I . I guess humans are pack animals and some ( not me ) want to see what’s going on , not miss out , get to enjoy the fun . I’d have been mightily miffed and would have gone away ( bitter experience from crabbing in Salcombe years ago - we quietly moved to another part and they followed us and were heard muttering how odd we were when we then just packed up )

@rosiethehen

Extroverts feel the need you seek others out and be near them. I think they do this to feel safer or something.

Introverts like to maintain a decent social distance from others and don't like that space being invaded.

The former often feel the need to inflict themselves upon others which creates resentment from the latter.

People should always try to be polite and socially aware - not be noisy, not ask personal questions, not space invade, demonstrate good manners etc.

People with poor manners are usually unaware of how their actions impact others.

Yep, fully agree. Extroverts often just don't have any empathy and some even feel the need to try to "cure" the introvert, some even seem to regard it as a challenge to get the other to engage with them. They just seem incapable of reading social signals.

Just remembered a situation years ago when we were at an airport coming back from holiday. DH was wearing a football shirt for his local team (low league) simply because it was a light/cool shirt. We were sat in a corner of the departure lounge and this other guy brought his entire family and squeezed into our corner then started talking to OH about the team, going on and on, talking about long left players who DH had never heard of, etc etc. It was exhausting and this guy just wouldn't stop. To make matters worse, the plane was delayed. We ended up having to make excuses that we needed the loo to get away from him. When we returned to the lounge, we sat in a different corner and the guy noticed us and brought his whole family over to us again. We really couldn't believe it. Then finally on the plane, we were delighted to see we were many rows away from him, but throughout the flight he kept coming up to us to start talking again. Then back at the UK airport, he sought us out in the passport control queue and then again in baggage reclaim,. He was an absolute pain in the arse. OH wasn't encouraging him, he was barely even talking back, just the occasional yes, no or nod of head, clearly showing he wasn't interested. OH refuses to wear a football shirt now as he doesn't want to risk encouraging another pillock like that.

Age 15 too old for crabbing?

Quick add that to the MN Book Of Weird Arbitrary Rules that in RL would draw a look.

Yep, fully agree. Extroverts often just don't have any empathy and some even feel the need to try to "cure" the introvert, some even seem to regard it as a challenge to get the other to engage with them. They just seem incapable of reading social signals.

That's a generalisation. It may be true of some extroverts, but they're simply extroverts who are also rude.

My DH always scores as an extrovert, but he would never invade another person's space. I think he's an extrovert because he's comfortable in social gatherings and enjoys meeting new people. (I'm borderline extrovert/introvert, more introvert these days.)

It would have annoyed me a bit at the time, I defo wouldn’t still be wasting time thinking about it now... and drawing pictures!

YANBU I find that incredibly weird and rude. I would have been really annoyed with that and would have probably made a point of moving with a comment about rudeness or "just take our spot then" or something.

With or without Covid, I'd only see this as acceptable if it was the only remaining place on the beach.

Is there anything that cannot be blamed on extroverts on MN? We really are the evil walking the world.

I had similar the other day. First day off from work and my kids in a long while and I found myself alone, sitting with a book, under a tree in the park in the dappled sunshine – bliss!

Then a woman came up, sat on the grass not 6ft from me and said "Oh don't mind me - I always sit here!" and then she opened her bag and lit a cigarette!

She had the whole f-ing park for f**ks sake! I got up and moved to the next tree along, but it really did irritate me!

So YANBU - I felt the same!

@Chemenger

Is there anything that cannot be blamed on extroverts on MN? We really are the evil walking the world.

You pesky extroverts ruining our lives 😂

When someone stands too close to me now I fake a coughing fit & don't cover my mouth. It usually works!