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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about a family coming and sitting right next to us on a beach.

221 replies

Pupppps · 20/08/2020 23:49

DP and I took our DS (15) and DD (9) to the local beach for crabbing. It was quite quiet in terms of lots of space about. And plenty of spaces to crab as it is known as a crabbing spot.

We had been on the spot for about half an hour and DC were enjoying crabbing even though they were struggling to actually get any crabs.

Anyway, DD got bored so we played catch on a quiet section just up from DP and DS who were continuing to crab.
Anyway, about 5 minutes later, 2 young boys about 8 run up to DP and DS asking if they caught any crabs. DP was polite and said "just a few".
The mum then started walking towards the boys and laid her bads and crabbing equipment right next to DP and DS and she sat down.
I could see DP and DS looking uncomfortable.

About 2 minutes after that, the dad showed up and sat next to the mum. And then two teenage girls (about 15) came to sit by them so basically DP and DS looked like they were part of their group.

There were loads of other spots on the beach so I found this rude. I'd find it rude even if coronavirus wasn't about considering the beach was quiet and there were loads of spots - another family came a couple of minutes after and set up a good distance away so I don't understand why this family thought it was okay to surround DP and DS.

DP and DS packed up and said they didn't feel comfortable continuing crabbing there so we just went to get ice cream.

But AIBU to think this is rude?
I'll draw a diagram to show how close it was

OP posts:
Nobblybobblies · 21/08/2020 08:55

I agree. I call them the Contrarians. They have such a need to have a go at the OP, that they even make shit up to suit their narrative, no matter how black and white a situation is. You start recognising their names, unless they namechange

🤣 they are tragic really.

hammeringinmyhead · 21/08/2020 08:56

YANBU. I was in Costa the other day and this woman behind me kept edging up in the queue and going "Ooh, sorry, supposed to be further away aren't I." She did it 3 times! Fuck off! You won't get your coffee any faster!

Ahem. Anyway. There was no need for them to sit there. Honestly on AIBU if you asked if your friend was rude to call you at 4am posters would say it was your fault for not having your phone on silent.

Jigsawpuzzles · 21/08/2020 08:59

Sorry @piscean10 posted on wrong thread!

DimidDavilby · 21/08/2020 08:59

Ofc it's rude. Were they local? It's the sort of thing visitors always do round here. Locals filll up the beach like a bus- sit as far away from others as possible!

Potterpotterpotter · 21/08/2020 09:01

There were loads of other spots on the beach so I found this rude. I'd find it rude even if coronavirus wasn't about considering the beach was quiet and there were loads of spots

You don’t own the beach, they can sit and crab where they like.
You only have to be 1 metre apart so hardly any space at all.

If you are worried about covid then don’t go to a beach and then bitch people are next to you.

Ohdeariedear · 21/08/2020 09:04

Op, I get you. I hate when I’m on the beach, it’s not remotely busy then someone comes and sits within 5m of me. Fuck off! You’ve got 2 miles of virtually empty beach and you choose to sit right here??? (I know it’s because I’ve in the best spot but still...🤣)

NotSorry · 21/08/2020 09:06

@JuniperFather

Good post, well said

tillyandmilly · 21/08/2020 09:06

Leave those crabs alone! Can’t believe people find this fun to inflict fear into these poor creatures who were happily swimming in the sea for you to pluck them out!

Chezacheza · 21/08/2020 09:17

The exact same thing happened to us yesterday! The little boy joined dd in catching fish and I even gave their little girl a ride on my paddle board. Was great fun!

People tend to be a bit more friendlier in the north west!

Your dh sounds like a wet blanket though!

Intelinside57 · 21/08/2020 09:18

I agree Op, they were just inconsiderate. You go to a lovely almost deserted beach, of course you don't make a beeline for the only family already there.

Intelinside57 · 21/08/2020 09:20

Having said that... clearly some Mumsnetters would and they are so hard of thinking that they can't even imagine why it's not OK.

Chezacheza · 21/08/2020 09:20

@Intelinside57

I agree Op, they were just inconsiderate. You go to a lovely almost deserted beach, of course you don't make a beeline for the only family already there.
That’s the thing with public spaces. People have their favourite spots!
Bluegrass · 21/08/2020 09:21

Definitely get the impression that some responses are from people who know they are guilty of doing this!

I’d love to know what goes on in their minds. Do they not realise they are too close and invading space? Do they realise and not care, or hope that the other people will move to leave them with all the space? Do they think their presence will be welcomed, and that everyone will start having a lovely chat and a jolly good time as one big group?

I wish they’d just fuck right off.

PutThemInTheIronMaiden · 21/08/2020 09:21

I could travel to the far side of the moon and some fucker would follow me.

TabbyStar · 21/08/2020 09:23

YANBU, I hate it when at the gym and there's a whole row of free equipment and someone gets on the machine next to you. I have PTSD and often can't tolerate being that close to an unknown man.

QuestionMarkNow · 21/08/2020 09:24

Unlike your DP, I would have moved rather than leaving.
I would also have my been PA and said loudly to the dcs, something along the lines of ‘Let’s go and crab further away so we are not on the top of each other and can actually respect SD’.

Ori82 · 21/08/2020 09:25

You're overthinking it. And you've even taken the time to draw a diagram. Coloured in too.

I don't mean to sound disparaging but really, you could have just moved away.

No big deal. Not worth drawing a diagram over. It probably would have taken your family less time to move away than for you to draw that diagram.

Sceptre86 · 21/08/2020 09:26

I think you are being given a hard time on here. I really don't understand why people feel the need to plonk themselves next to you on the beach when there was plenty of other spots available. Socially distancing aside it is an invasion of space. It is like the same idiots who will park next to you when the whole carpark is empty or the ones that will sit next to you on an empty bus.

You shouldn't have had to move as you were there first. That being said if I had been your dh I would have asked for them to give you some space due to social distancing.

Orchidsindoors · 21/08/2020 09:30

People always do this, it's a psychological thing. Many a time I've been in an empty car park and someone has driven in and parked right next to me. Years ago someone did this to us on an empty beach and my Dad had a right fit, shouting "why the hell would you do that" at them and made us pack up and move 100 years away. It was dead embarrassing.

KatherineJaneway · 21/08/2020 09:33

@PutThemInTheIronMaiden

I could travel to the far side of the moon and some fucker would follow me.
Grin
Orchidsindoors · 21/08/2020 09:34

Although I do wonder if people do it on purpose sometimes, thinking that's a nice spot, if we sit there, they will go. Especially if its kids sat there.

ThePlantsitter · 21/08/2020 09:34

Yes it was rude. You should have told them to move (politely). We're all going to have to get used to doing it.

I haven't read the whole thread if that's a 'cancel the cheque' answer.

MagicSummer · 21/08/2020 09:37

OP, I agree with you. However, I think it is pretty much a 'Brit' thing. It's like when you park in a remote part of a car park so you have plenty of space to get out of the car and straightaway another car comes up and parks right next to you, even though there is plenty of free space! My parents and I used to go to France a lot when I was a kid and we used to go right off the beaten track to find a picnic spot for lunch. We used to get settled with all the food and chairs out, and lo and behold, along would come another car and park right next to us - it was always a GB car!!

unmarkedbythat · 21/08/2020 09:42

I don't think I'd care that much and if I did I'd move. I suppose it is a bit rude but not enough that I'd get too het up about it.

Cadent · 21/08/2020 09:43

What is he point of being annoyed now? The time to say something was then. All DH had to say ‘we are socially distancing due to coronavirus, please could you give us a few metres space.’.

I’m so tired of ‘non-confrontational’ people but bitching after the fact.