AIBU about a family coming and sitting right next to us on a beach.

[Pupppps]

DP and I took our DS (15) and DD (9) to the local beach for crabbing. It was quite quiet in terms of lots of space about. And plenty of spaces to crab as it is known as a crabbing spot.

We had been on the spot for about half an hour and DC were enjoying crabbing even though they were struggling to actually get any crabs.

Anyway, DD got bored so we played catch on a quiet section just up from DP and DS who were continuing to crab.
Anyway, about 5 minutes later, 2 young boys about 8 run up to DP and DS asking if they caught any crabs. DP was polite and said "just a few".
The mum then started walking towards the boys and laid her bads and crabbing equipment right next to DP and DS and she sat down.
I could see DP and DS looking uncomfortable.

About 2 minutes after that, the dad showed up and sat next to the mum. And then two teenage girls (about 15) came to sit by them so basically DP and DS looked like they were part of their group.

There were loads of other spots on the beach so I found this rude. I'd find it rude even if coronavirus wasn't about considering the beach was quiet and there were loads of spots - another family came a couple of minutes after and set up a good distance away so I don't understand why this family thought it was okay to surround DP and DS.

DP and DS packed up and said they didn't feel comfortable continuing crabbing there so we just went to get ice cream.

But AIBU to think this is rude?
I'll draw a diagram to show how close it was

It was indeed rude Covid or no Covid to invade space on a beach.
Humble admiration for your diagram.

Pitta I'm sure the OP will be able to get on with her life unscathed. Why not post about it, though?

I think we can tell who it is on this thread that thinks nothing of invading other people’s space. Of course they were rude, OP, they wanted your space and knew you would move if they barged in.

I was on a beach that you can drive on to. Fab. Didn’t need to carry all our stuff down the hill. Great spot.

Another car drove onto the beach and parked right next to us. Beach was miles long so the could have gone further away. Much further.

So you were hemmed in against the rocks by the looks of things? Yes, I think it was rude and thoughtless. In different circumstanes pre-covid I would have still thought it unnecessarily close to you given you mightwant a bit of privacy but at the moment it was definitely wrong. Was it windy by any chance as it looks like you were in a sheltered spot and might that be why they also wanted to be there?

Several times I have parked in an empty car park and some loon parks right next to me. The last time it happened I opened the door into his car as soon as he stopped backing up. He got out and started on and I said that the last time I looked the car park was empty and I told him to bugger off to another part of the 200 space car park that was literally empty as it was the middle of the night! WTF!

I was with an ex and we went camping in Wales. We had pitched the tent in a four acre paddock and it had one other tent and one caravan in it. Along come a pair of numpties with two kids and a little dog and pitch so close to us their guy lines from their tent was over lapping ours and their dog was in and out of our car and our tent and food boxes. I came back from the shower block to find this (ex had said nothing) and I gave it to them straight. Move or the dog gets it!

I have no idea why people do this. So used to living close to other people they have to be cheek by jowl on a day out too maybe.

Batshit!

I would love to understand why people do this. The car park thing too, I park my car in a car park that is virtually empty and some idiot parks so close to me that I can open the door.

Yes it herding mentality and it drives me mad. I don’t want every other sod crammed in right next to me when there’s loads of free space. It shows a lack of social awareness.
Also there were some nasty posters up thread Getting snotty about the diagram etc etc, grow up and stop enjoying a pile on and sticking the boot in.

You are right OP. Very rude on the part of the other family. I hope all those disagreeing have it happen to them, hopefully long before they intended packing up and see how much they like it. As for snidey comments about your helpful diagram, do they not realise this is mumsnet?

@Hairhelp234

Yes it herding mentality and it drives me mad. I don’t want every other sod crammed in right next to me when there’s loads of free space. It shows a lack of social awareness. Also there were some nasty posters up thread Getting snotty about the diagram etc etc, grow up and stop enjoying a pile on and sticking the boot in.

It makes them feel better to be unkind to someone random on the internet. Shame.

Oh I hate this. It is like sitting in a 1/4 full cinema and people come and sit right infront/next to you when there are hundreds of seats they could have sat in. Once in Cornwall, we trekked for about 30mins through bush to get to a beautifully deserted beach that was eNORmous. half an hour later, a loud family arrived and parked themselves bang next to us - about 6 feet away on a mammouth empty beach. They proceeded to throw beach balls, laugh maniacally and smoke. WTF. I moved. Quietly and with no fanfare but I hope they got the message. It is just WEIRD

I have just upset myself, I googled crabbing and saw a detailed description, including making sure you clean them while they are still alive or they release toxins so you cant eat them. It sounded awful for the poor crab....sorry gone off on a tangent here, but it sounds quite cruel.

@jenasaurus That’s absolutely NOT what people are talking about here. Crabbing as most people (in the UK) understanding it is lowering a string with a piece of bacon tied to it into the water, usually at a quayside at low tide. The crabs grab onto it and you gently and slowly pull the string up with the crabs still clinging on and pop the crabs into a bucket of water. No harm comes to the crab and they get a bacon feast out of it! They are released harmlessly back into the water afterwards. Most of them drop off when they realise what’s happening, so it can be a challenge. You’ll see families doing this everyday this in places like Looe and Torquay In the summer. The crabs are usually no more than a couple of inches long. What you described was horrific, so rest assured that’s not what people mean here.

Seriously get a grip. Dont go out if that bothered. Think they wont be close to their friends!!!

[quote JuniperFather]@Pupppps

I don't blame you for not coming back to this thread. There are some absolute embarrassments here on AIBU tonight. here's what I find stunning:

Your OP is about personal space. Why would someone come right up to your family, other than to make you uncomfortable enough to leave? So in my view YANBU. You deserve understanding.

Instead it's the usual cruelty of folk wanting to make the OP feel as uncomfortable and silly as possible.

So despite everyone clamouring for diagrams on almost every other thread to do with positional sense, parking etc... you get ridiculed for doing a brilliant diagram

Despite numerous threads about personal space in shops since COVID-19, you get ridiculed and told "you should move if uncomfortable".

Despite dozens of more trivial threads on AIBU, you get told you're worrying about nothing.

I find this site staggering for its inconsistency in approach, but actually it reveals one shameful consistency:

Whatever the OP feels, make sure you argue the exact contrary in packs, gas lighting them into feeling silly enough that the OP is driven off her own thread.[/quote]
I agree. I call them the Contrarians. They have such a need to have a go at the OP, that they even make shit up to suit their narrative, no matter how black and white a situation is. You start recognising their names, unless they namechange.

If the diagram is a true reflection of the situation, then yes that's weird at all times, especially if they ended up being penned in. Usually if stood you can creep along, but no option here.

@JMKid

Seriously get a grip. Dont go out if that bothered. Think they wont be close to their friends!!!

Don't be ridiculous. There was no need for other people to crowd up on this beach, she had no reason to avoid it.

The other family were stupid and inconsiderate.

Drives me mad!
We once put our tent in the corner of an empty field when dd was little. When we got back a large group had literally surrounded us on both sides and put a tarp over the top that we had to get under to get to our tent.

These were in the days where I was too meek to say anything. They then all got shitfaced that night and all argumentative and sweary. I got angry enough to ask them to stop swearing. They then spent the night trying to intimidate us. Couldn't get a signal to call the police. It was scary!

More innocently, recently on the empty train a lady decided to sit right in front of me. I stood up, told her she was too close and buggered off further down the carriage harrumphing. Had to do the same when we sat on a bench eating our lunch. A family decided to sit right next to us. There were loads of empty benches.

But AIBU to think this is rude?

Yes, rude, also selfish & thoughtless.

I remember once going to a beach on my own very early - a very long beach, away from the more crowded town beach. I settled in , created a bit of shade for myself, read my book, dozed, swam, dozed, read my book - a really lovely quiet Sunday morning.

Until a family settled down about a metre from me, and lit one of those small portable barbecue tin foil trays. I happened to be downwind of this, so I got the nasty oily smoke.

What really annoyed me was that there was plenty of room, but they plonked themselves down as if I were not there. As if I were invisible.

It was selfish & thoughtless - and yes, rude. They behaved as if I were not there, as if I were not a human being.

It's a small thing obviously, and I left pretty much immediately. I wish I had said something, but I think they would have just laughed. Some people have little consideration for others, unfortunately.

OP they were very rude. I completely agree with you! Probably the kind of people who have no social awareness (or simply bad manners!).

However...flouncing off does two things here:

1. It gives in to their rudeness and let's them get away with it. So they'll just keep on doing it!

2. You missed out on what YOU wanted to do! (And don't say that you were going anyway, or that you wanted ice-creams or whatever, because that's just nonsense bullshitting justification for your lack of action!)

As PP have already said...USE YOUR WORDS!! It's actually not hard, and it's not rude or aggressive or 'confrontational', as so many women seem to think on here! If someone is being rude/aggressive/confrontational TOWARDS YOU...then standing up for yourself is absolutely bloody acceptable!!! You just say...actually we are sitting here, there's plenty of room elsewhere. There's no need to say 'please', 'do you mind' definitely no 'sorry but could you....'. No apologising for standing up for yourself when faced with blatant rudeness...you and your DP are role models for your children OP. Show them how they deserve to be treated and respected by others.

This would annoy me immensely. It's no different to someone coming on to the bus and plonking right next to you despite every other seat being empty. Or same thing in a cinema. Or a cafe...

Just because it could potentially be where they like to sit doesn't give them any rights or ownership of that area. Your family were there first and that's just tough titties for them.

I am of the ilk to actually ask them to move away and point out the strangeness of their choice, but I realise I'm in the minority there. But I 100% would not have moved, as they have essentially been rewarded for bad behaviour.

It's so fucking annoying. And the car park one happens even if you park the furthest away from the shop/town centre in the hopes that nobody parks next to you. They also park so close, that when you get back to the car, there's barely any room to get your car door open, so you have to get in via the passenger door and clamber across.

There's nothing wrong with OP posting this, she just wanted to have a moan, and I don't blame her.

Oh...and ignore the twats on here! Ffs 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

They'd be the first ones raging if their kids got what is basically penned in by a whole sodding family anywhere!! Never mind on an otherwise near empty beach!

YANBU - clearly boundaries are an issue for this family. Very odd behaviour

I hope by crabbing you mean looking in rock pools only. Crabs are a vital part of our ecosystem and should not be used as a plaything.