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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about a family coming and sitting right next to us on a beach.

221 replies

Pupppps · 20/08/2020 23:49

DP and I took our DS (15) and DD (9) to the local beach for crabbing. It was quite quiet in terms of lots of space about. And plenty of spaces to crab as it is known as a crabbing spot.

We had been on the spot for about half an hour and DC were enjoying crabbing even though they were struggling to actually get any crabs.

Anyway, DD got bored so we played catch on a quiet section just up from DP and DS who were continuing to crab.
Anyway, about 5 minutes later, 2 young boys about 8 run up to DP and DS asking if they caught any crabs. DP was polite and said "just a few".
The mum then started walking towards the boys and laid her bads and crabbing equipment right next to DP and DS and she sat down.
I could see DP and DS looking uncomfortable.

About 2 minutes after that, the dad showed up and sat next to the mum. And then two teenage girls (about 15) came to sit by them so basically DP and DS looked like they were part of their group.

There were loads of other spots on the beach so I found this rude. I'd find it rude even if coronavirus wasn't about considering the beach was quiet and there were loads of spots - another family came a couple of minutes after and set up a good distance away so I don't understand why this family thought it was okay to surround DP and DS.

DP and DS packed up and said they didn't feel comfortable continuing crabbing there so we just went to get ice cream.

But AIBU to think this is rude?
I'll draw a diagram to show how close it was

OP posts:
StoppinBy · 21/08/2020 02:57

I would find it incredibly 'space invader style' and very rude no matter when it happened. If there is plenty of space then don't sit on top of other people and their personal space bubble, the more space there is the bigger the area people should leave.

ElizabethMainwaring · 21/08/2020 03:14

Years ago, DH and I were having a meal in a pub. Table for four. DH and I sat next to each other.
Another couple came in midway through our meal and sat opposite us and started nattering away! Shock
(There were plenty of other tables).
It was awful. I hate eating in public at the best of times.
What should we have done in this situation?

Mittens030869 · 21/08/2020 03:20

I wouldn't like it at all so YANBU to think the family were very rude, especially as there was plenty of space on the beach for them to sit further away. Some people really don't have any social awareness.

CoffeeRunner · 21/08/2020 03:42

From your groovy diagram it looks as though the family had DS & DP completely surrounded!

Rude even without Covid & SD.

user1481840227 · 21/08/2020 03:44

@FortunesFave

It's ridiculous that people do this anyway...never mind during a time like this

I live in Australia and the beach is part of everyday life..it winds me up so much that on a MASSIVE and mainly empty beach, some twat will follow where I've sat and set their crap up next to me.

WHY!??

Are people such sheep in life?

Surely if someone isn't following social norms (with social norms in this case being not to sit right beside other people on an empty beach)....then they are less of a sheep?
RaisinGhost · 21/08/2020 04:16

Covid aside, this is rude and weird. I was hiking once by myself and decided to sit down on a rock and have a rest. It wasn't a picnic area or even a clearing, no view or anything, just a rock on the track. A family came along and sat down for lunch literally right next to me. The track was 10km long Confused

heartsonacake · 21/08/2020 04:32

[quote Pupppps]@Pupppps

Yes definitely people can!
Anyway all, i'm off to sleep and probably will not really come back to thread,
So goodnight xxx[/quote]
Then why did you bother to start a thread about it? In the hope people would all rally round you and moan about how rude they are too?

marcopront · 21/08/2020 04:46

Anyway, about 5 minutes later, 2 young boys about 8 run up to DP and DS asking if they caught any crabs. DP was polite and said "just a few".

Why was it polite to lie to complete strangers and say they had caught some?
Maybe they had been trying elsewhere and caught nothing and thought this was the only place there were any crabs.

CorianderLord · 21/08/2020 05:05

Why is your adult DO finding it difficult to say ' excuse me. We're in a pandemic. Move 6 metres away please'

CorianderLord · 21/08/2020 05:06

USE YOUR VOICE

DancingCatGif · 21/08/2020 05:18

@CorianderLord

Bellowing advice at people who have a different personality to you is never actually helpful.

VettiyaIruken · 21/08/2020 05:33

It really is irritating. I swear humans are herd animals!

Bobleywobley · 21/08/2020 05:45

Its rude and they are what we call "space invaders". They are not aware of /dont care how uncomfortable they are making other people feel. Space invaders can be found in lots of other places especially cafes, where they'll say "is it ok if we share your table?" Or parks where they share your bench. Rude rude.

Bobleywobley · 21/08/2020 05:47

The same always happens in car parks!!!

popcornlover · 21/08/2020 05:49

Leave the crabs alone OP!

JuniperFather · 21/08/2020 05:56

@Pupppps

I don't blame you for not coming back to this thread. There are some absolute embarrassments here on AIBU tonight. here's what I find stunning:

Your OP is about personal space. Why would someone come right up to your family, other than to make you uncomfortable enough to leave? So in my view YANBU. You deserve understanding.

Instead it's the usual cruelty of folk wanting to make the OP feel as uncomfortable and silly as possible.

So despite everyone clamouring for diagrams on almost every other thread to do with positional sense, parking etc... you get ridiculed for doing a brilliant diagram

Despite numerous threads about personal space in shops since COVID-19, you get ridiculed and told "you should move if uncomfortable".

Despite dozens of more trivial threads on AIBU, you get told you're worrying about nothing.

I find this site staggering for its inconsistency in approach, but actually it reveals one shameful consistency:

Whatever the OP feels, make sure you argue the exact contrary in packs, gas lighting them into feeling silly enough that the OP is driven off her own thread.

CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 21/08/2020 06:37

it is rude at the best of times and rude in the virus

MsIrrational · 21/08/2020 06:38

I agree with you OP. Very odd behaviour.

Not sure why some people are almost belittling and mocking OP for being bothered enough to start a thread, or for feeling the need to make a diagram. Rude.

Whenwillthisbeover · 21/08/2020 06:47

I loved your drawing OP and I would be pissed off too. I would have built a barrier around us with our buckets and spades and towels or built a sand castle wall!

S0us0uSur · 21/08/2020 06:48

So how close were they? I doubt very much they were closer than 2 metres.

We had somebody very rude tell us to move on our local beach a week or so ago. There is a particular spot we love and always go to. Plenty of space. We turned up and started unpacking 3 or 4 metres away and this very entitled mother shouted across and said can you move 1 metre back and 2 across.

We ignored her as well over 2 metres and carried on unpacking. Same distance as everybody else was sitting and always sit. She appeared incredibly bossy towards her family as well as entitled and clearly not local as muttering about clearing out holiday house as they walked past when leaving.

Nobody owns beach space.You don’t get to dictate what other visitors do. The onus is on you to leave if uncomfortable.

latticechaos · 21/08/2020 06:51

@Lardlizard

Why go to the beach if your paranoid about covid? Only thing you can really do is move yourself
FFS.

She's not 'paranoid'.

Some people Hmm

Whenwillthisbeover · 21/08/2020 06:51

@RaisinGhost

Covid aside, this is rude and weird. I was hiking once by myself and decided to sit down on a rock and have a rest. It wasn't a picnic area or even a clearing, no view or anything, just a rock on the track. A family came along and sat down for lunch literally right next to me. The track was 10km long Confused
We went to the lakes in July. Sat having lunch on Some rocks in the middle of nowhere off a hillside track. A couple and dog came off the track looked at the view and then walked right between the five of us to join the track further down, when they could have got back on it where they came off just five seconds before.

It was bizarre, this was the first week that you could stay away from home so everyone else was very aware of distancing.

JammyHands · 21/08/2020 06:52

@lardlizard I don’t think it’s’paranoid about COVID’ not to want random strangers sitting near you. How do you know they aren’t infected?

latticechaos · 21/08/2020 06:54

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine

it is rude at the best of times and rude in the virus
This.

It is probably their favourite spot and they wanted you to leave.

People are just weird. I hate strangers plonking themselves next to me any time, tbh.

treenu · 21/08/2020 06:57

I would find this irritating at the best of times but really odd given the current situation.

Still remember a time when we went to watch a family film in a very quiet cinema. We were the only ones in there until another family came it and sat in the four seats directly in front of us.

They had the whole cinema to pick from! I remember my parents getting us up to move. We were the only two families for the whole film too.