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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with DP

120 replies

Nemma96 · 20/08/2020 19:45

About 4 weeks ago I got into a routine with DP doing alternative days bathing our LB due to an argument about him never doing anything for our LB. This gave me 7 minutes a day to myaelf as this is how long it takes him to bath our LB

So the last week I've bathed him for 6 days because DP was trying to get into a sleeping pattern but kept falling sleep in the day and waking after bath time. So tonight he's bathed our LB then brought him into me and said "oh I've not done his buttons up and my backs fucking killing me now".

I'm really pissed off as he hasnt bathed him in a week and not done anything at all with him but then moans about his back and does a half hearted job of even getting him ready.

7 minutes to myself I dont think is a lot to ask for. Getting so annoyed being basically a single parent and him moaning when he does so very little...

OP posts:
OhYeahYouSuck · 20/08/2020 21:37

Is he 16? He sounds like it.

Raindancer411 · 20/08/2020 21:38

@IndieTara

OP he doesn't need a GP or sleeping tablets. He needs to stop gaming all night, step up and take some responsibility as a parent and partner.
This!
NoPinkPlease · 20/08/2020 21:38

God your life would be so much easier if you were on your own. Waiting and expecting and hoping for him to step up will drain you so much. He says like a man child.

Original poster
Nemma96 · 20/08/2020 21:39

I know. I dont need him but I wanted that family unit that I didnt have. I am going back to work after my year is up, so that will be in February but I'm planning on putting him in nursery when I got back.

I really wish I could go and book a hotel and leave him to look after our LB on his own but tbh I do not trust him. He gets angry when he cries or moans and even left the room to eat his dinner on the kitchen side because our LB was having a little bit off a moan the other day

OP posts:
blubberball · 20/08/2020 21:40

You'll be better off on your own. You were promised this and that, but it will never happen.

NoPinkPlease · 20/08/2020 21:40

Time to get out and find it with someone else if you want that family unit, I'm sad to say.

Nottherealslimshady · 20/08/2020 21:44

Wow he's actually entirely useless.

Malaya · 20/08/2020 21:44

With every single update, this guy sounds worse. Unfortunately, I know his type and, sadly, they rarely change their ways. He needs a sharp kick up the backside and for you to not do anything for him. Tbh though, you’re doing everything without him anyway. What is the point in him?

ElinoristhenewEnid · 20/08/2020 21:47

Am I the first one to suggest a cocklodger in the making?

PamDemic · 20/08/2020 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoMoreReluctantCustodians · 20/08/2020 21:48

Agree with @Malaya

He will never change

mummydinosaurRawr · 20/08/2020 21:50

Sounds like my ex, bloody useless. It was a relief to get rid of him.

He needs to push through and stay awake in the day (even if he has been up all night) to try and re-set his body clock.

NoMoreReluctantCustodians · 20/08/2020 21:50

Also can you imagine being back at work and having to do everything housework and childcare as well as work while he does nothing all day and all night?

OhCaptain · 20/08/2020 21:51

If you need to book your child into a nursery because his other parent won’t or can’t take care of him then you need to leave him. Seriously.

Wtf are you doing with this lazy slob?

mummydinosaurRawr · 20/08/2020 21:52

Just read your latest update. Bin him, he's a waste of space, he won't get better. You and baby will be better off without. I was.

Issantagettingbusy · 20/08/2020 21:52

Maybe take the fuse out of his controller..
Or suggests he goes elsewhere and lives a teenage life running up someone else's electricity bill..
He is a waste of space. And a waste of your time.

premiumshoes · 20/08/2020 21:52

* I* am going back to work after my year is up, so that will be in February but I'm planning on putting him in nursery when I got back.

You are planning to pay for childcare whilst the father of the child is at home doing bog all?

Tan98 · 20/08/2020 22:00

Not being rude but if he went to work he would probably be more tired so he could sleep at night better.

If he physically can't go to work then he should be doing a lot more at home.

rvby · 20/08/2020 22:09

You had a baby with a waster OP. You can be as annoyed as you want, but he will always be a waster.

I hope you have other support in your life.

Jux · 20/08/2020 22:09

Oh just get rid of this piss taking waste of space. You would be better off as a single parent in every way.

RandomMess · 20/08/2020 22:10

He's a cocklodger Angry

waltzeswithsnobs · 20/08/2020 22:11

Waiting and expecting and hoping for him to step up will drain you so much

This, OP, with bells on. Caring for a child on your own is so much easier than caring for a child on your own with said child's other parent sitting there refusing to even acknowledge you both.

TeamLannister · 20/08/2020 22:14

Put him out, he's a selfish using bastard! Then submit a CMS claim.
And lose the LB abbreviation, it's really annoying.

dexterslockedintheshedagain · 20/08/2020 22:18

Good Lord. How old is he? He's acting like a sulky teenager-up all night gaming, sleeping in the day, 'can't' do chores like washing dishes.
Too depressed to work (for 'depressed' read 'lazy').
I'm amazed he even managed to get you pregnant!
He's a waste man.
Don't cook or clean for him, tell him you've already got one child to look after.

Pegase · 20/08/2020 22:18

What is LB? Little boy?

Anyway he may well have depression OP- dysregulated sleep and extreme apathy could both be signs. But even if it were that rather than cheeky fuckery, you can't 'cure' him and it sounds like he isn't interested in seeking help. Living with someone with depression can be terribly terribly hard and from what you have written it doesn't sound like he is currently bringing anything to the relationship.