Is this dance/song too sexy for our wedding?

[Sakalibre]

Hi, I'm very newly engaged.

My fiance's family is from a part of India where it is customary for the bride and her sisters/bridesmaids to perform a dance during the reception.

My dad is also Indian (Punjabi Sikh) but performing a dance is not the norm.

I have chosen a song and dance but my mother (who is not even Indian) is objecting on account of it being inappropriate. Her objections are based on the fact the song is apparently too sensual.

Ultimately, I know my fiance would appreciate my choice as the song is performed by his childhood crush.

Tbh, I just find a lot of Bollywood alternatives cheesy - no offence.

This is the song for ref:

Is it too sensual?

translation:
The drummer is playing the drums
Kadhi tijro ghaghro najaro baaje re haan The scenery is ringing by the beauty of your skirt
Mehboob mere O lover of mine
Mehboob mere mehboob mere teri aankhon se mujhe peene de O lover of mine, let me drink from your eyes
Kuch dard hai mere seene mein There's some pain in my heart
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mehboob mere mehboob mere teri aankhon se mujhe peene de O lover of mine, let me drink from your eyes
Kuch dard hai mere seene mein There's some pain in my heart
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Aa dhola, o dhola, o dhola Hey drummer, hey drummer, hey drummer
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Haan mast mast Yes, let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Haan mast mast Yes, let me be intoxicated
Haan mast mast Yes, let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Aankhon mein kajal, pairon mein payal There's kohl in my eyes and anklets in my feet
In adaon se main karoon sabko ghayal I'll injure everyone with this style of mine
Mehboob ki mehbooba tarse, sach kehde pyar yeh kab barse Your beloved is yearning, tell me honesty when will you shower your love
Main teri dulhan ban'ne ko nikli hoon saj dhaj ke ghar se I've left from my house to become your bride
Mehboob mere O lover of mine
Mehboob mere mehboob mere teri aankhon se mujhe peene de O lover of mine, let me drink from your eyes
Kuch dard hai mere seene mein There's some pain in my heart
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Haan mast mast Yes, let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Haan mast mast Yes, let me be intoxicated
Mast mast mast mast mast mast mast Totally intoxicated
Yeh nazar hamari hai badi karaari This gaze of mine is killer
Samjho woh jeeta jispe dil haari That person shall win, for whom my heart will fall
Haan ishq mohabbat karle tu, yeh pal na thehrenge kal ko You fall in love as these moments won't wait
Aa narmi le meri aankhon se kuch pata nahi kya ho kal ko Take some softness from my eyes, as no one knows what will happen tomorrow
Mehboob mere O lover of mine
Mehboob mere mehboob mere teri aankhon se mujhe peene de O lover of mine, let me drink from your eyes
Kuch dard hai mere seene mein There's some pain in my heart
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mast Let me be intoxicated
Haan mast mast Yes, let me be intoxicated
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere
Mujhe mast mahaul mein jeene de Let me live in an intoxicated atmosphere

My mum thinks I will essentially be performing a lap dance (her words not mine)

Input from Indians would be really helpful. My sister and I are the only females of our generation on my dad's side so don't really have many people to ask.

i'd be saving it for your honeymoon tbh, could be alot of fun and dh will enjoy it so much more then it's just the two of you.

Does your mother think the words or the dance is too sensual?

I’m Punjabi Indian and think it’s a bit much! It’s not just the lyrics it’s also the moves you would need to do for a song like that. Both of them combined, in front of the older generation, is inappropriate. My family are very, very modern. We all drink/smoke etc in front of family and are very open but this song would definitely raise eyebrows.

Are wedding videos common in your fiancés family? If so, it might be possible to borrow copies and have a look and see what people usually do. That way you could be sure there will be no fainting aunts or offended in-laws.

Really depends, are you going to copy her dance exactly, that might be a bit too much.

I cannot imagine doing the dance to those lyrics in front of elderly relatives.

I'm not Indian but due to some close family friends and working in an Indian owned and culturally based entertainment company for a good few years while I was young, I've had the pleasure of attending 7 Indian weddings and have seen more Bollywood, Bhangra and Kathak than I thought I ever would through work in a number of settings, this with the associated dancing is more risqué than anything I've seen before outside of films and music videos

It doesn't look socially very distanced

I watched the video and I'd say it looks like a pretty raunchy dance. Are you happy rocking those kinds of moves in front of your mum and dad (and other elderly relatives)? 😅

I haven’t read everything yet, but to be honest any item number is going to be sensual, they all have lots of hip movement. We had loads of belly dancing but for us it was normal but my mum still thinks it’s overtly sexual. Personally, I would go Laila Main Laila (the new version - but that would prob keel over all the aunties).

In short I think it’s fine.

Ooops! Didn't mean to post 😅

What I was also going to say was I don't actually know what the norm is at an Indian wedding. To my eyes, it looks a bit sexy.

Maybe compare it to dances that other family members have done? Do you have any examples of other dances usually done at weddings that you can share here to give non-Indian folk an idea to we can give an opinion?

Sorry, I'm not being a huge amount of use here 😅😅

Not appropriate OP think like a PP said have a look at old videos and get song ideas - it's kind of supposed to be fun not like sensual like this video.

You tube search it too lots of fun!

I see I am alone.

You could go retro, 1970s or 1980s less likelihood of raunchy lyrics coupled with dances. Unless you pick a Helen dance. Don’t pick a Helen dance.

I think it's a bit raunchy, but I love it!

"With kohl on my eyes and anklets on my feet" Love that line.

I agree watch some YouTube videos etc.

Good luck!

(I’m white, English)

The lyrics are pretty tame to my eyes but having watched the link, the tune is quite sexy and can see that it’s probably not appropriate for a conservative ceremony. It’s a very catchy tune though!

My mum is only concerned with the dancing as she doesn't even understand the language (neither do I tbf)

I've been watching a lot of clips and find mosts songs/dances to be too complicated or cheesy.

Would this one work?

I just don't want to resemble high school musical on my wedding day!

The prospect of me inadvertantly performing a lap dance in front of my future in-laws is mortifying!

Does she,by any chance, want to live in an intoxicated atmosphere?!

@Sakalibre

The prospect of me inadvertantly performing a lap dance in front of my future in-laws is mortifying!

I suspect Mumsnet has saved you from that now.

It would be ok if you did it under a massive bin liner like the start of the video. I like it bit I'd probably go for something a bit safer.

I have never heard of the bride having to do a dance like this, I am Punjabi Indian and the bride is expected to be a little bit shy - not doing a sexy number!

However if you do have to do this, I suggest Prem Ratan Tan Payo. You can find it easily on YouTube. It’s a lovely ‘family’ song about love being more precious than money/jewels.

Sorry it’s Prem Ratan Dhan Payo