A 'nice' way to tell someone to SD?

[BBCONEANDTWO]

So was just in a cafe. You had to queue up in an orderly line. The bit where they were selling drinks was more or less empty and I saw this woman who had already been seated come over and get in that queue. Then a man who had gone back to collect his full English joined his wife who was in the drinks queue.

The wife went over to the other bit to pay and the man turned round to the other woman, put his hands in front of himself and loudly told her to 'move back you're in my space, social distance'.

I was down visiting the town for the day and was pretty shocked at how aggressive he was. The woman stepped backwards and said sorry. I just wondered though is there a better way to tell someone you're in their space.

I think we need to be kind to people and I felt sorry or the woman and a few people in the queue rolled their eyes up at the guy. I was also thinking if the woman had been a big strapping man he might not have been as aggressive in the first place.

I just thought if I was in her place I'd have felt upset. I don't know how I would address this. I have seen people in shops telling people off I they touch something and put it back and it amazes me. Everyone was wearing masks until they got to their table.

There are ways and Means of communicating Which are must kinder.

I mistakenly walked in the wrong lane in a very crowded shopping mall. There was no social distances either in the aisles, the escalators or anywhere else. A man 40 years my junior said, “Get in the right f@ing Lane”

I was in a shop today taking a long time over choosing flowers.

A man very politely waited behind me as I pissed about and then I realised he was trying to get to the newspapers being blocked by my rather large arse.

I apologised, he told me no need, we had a brief chat about getting used to stuff and then moved on.

Of course it’s hard, but the guy was a douche and didn’t need to be.

I’m Totally on board for SD and wearing masks etc but I think easy enough to forget. I know I have. I’m good at remembering to SD in shops or other busy areas but there are other times where you can let your guard down and forget for A moment. For example I went to show my friend something on my phone while we were out for a SD’ed walk. We had been walking and chatting and I forgot for a moment. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s forgetful but it’s not stupid.

I have had to ‘remind’ several people about social distancing in supermarkets and queues recently. My usual form of wording is something along the lines of :

“Excuse me, would you mind keeping your distance please?” Followed by a “thank you” when they oblige. This seems to be considered acceptably polite, I have used it with big blokes and little old ladies and I haven’t had a negative response yet.

My dd says "2 metres, please", loudly enough but not aggressively and with a hint of a smile. No one's responded badly.

I had to tell a shop assistant in Sainsbury's to step back, she was so far up my arse when I stepped back I literally fell on top of her. I think some people just forget and need to be reminded!

I wouldn't know as I haven't been in a shop or cafe since mid March due to my agoraphobia. This is a prime example of why. I'm terrified of putting a foot out of place.

Depends on the context. It sounds like he was maybe a bit rude in how he said it, but what he said was okay (not super polite, but not awful in itself).

That said, it can be difficult to differentiate between people making a genuine mistake and those who just can’t be arsed (not that the virus cares). I got quite grumpy with groups walking along four abreast on a busy local prom when DH and I were walking in line to avoid them and cyclists, people with prams etc. were trying to pass while maintaining social distance & I’m not a person who leaps into the road if someone is a bit closer than 2m when passing briefly outdoors. It’s about being considerate isn’t it - if you can give people space then you should, especially indoors.

No idea. I came out of a shop in the shopping centre and went right. There were no signs anywhere to tell me I was going against the one way system (I went back and checked!!) And a lady started shouting at me for going the wrong way. Was genuinely too startled to say anything (as I didnt know I was doing wrong!!). We werent close- she was over 2m away and i was walking diagonally towards the right way (by chance) but it didnt warrant that.

My 84 yo Dad asked the man in the queue behind him if he wanted a piggy back!

I'd have taken a step back and said "OK mate, don't give yourself an atomic wedgie".

I couldn't figure out what SD might refer to when I read the title, and was wondering if this might be a thread about politely telling people to suck dick

There is no need to be horrible to each other. This is bad enough as it is. People make mistakes. Anyone who uses SD as an excuse to be a twat is going to get it back and more.

Everyone knows about social distancing. She knew full well she was in his space, she just wasn't bothered about until confronted about it. If you don't want people bluntly telling you to back off, keep your distance. It's so simple even my autistic 6 year old gets it.

@FatCatThinCat

Everyone knows about social distancing. She knew full well she was in his space, she just wasn't bothered about until confronted about it. If you don't want people bluntly telling you to back off, keep your distance. It's so simple even my autistic 6 year old gets it.

That's not entirely true - the woman went to get drinks and the wife was in front of her. The wife's husband had gone to get his full English - the woman didn't even know about the guy and the wife was further forward. It was the husband who kinda jumped in iykwim. I think if the guy hadn't come back with his breakfast there would have been enough SD.

So, he inserted himself in a place where he was not adequately social distanced from those around him and then had a go at others for this situation. Even if it was where his wife had been, he shuffled in there.

Hmm.

I see his chosen place of queue jumping was even less socially distanced that where his wife had been and he takes the proverbial by insinuating that everybody else is at fault.

I blame the venue they should have lines etc - but really you should get your meal at the same place and carry it to the next bit. I think that was the problem. It was his attitude that shocked me. That's what I'm trying to think of. How can we be kinder if we feel that someone is in our space.

I wandered too close to a lady in the forest while trying to stop my toddler from flinging himself in the river. She raised her hand and politely said "two metres" with a smile. I grabbed toddler, apologised and retreated. There are ways of doing it kindly.

In which case he was being a dick and there's no known cure for that.

I’m trying to react as though someone has accidentally trodden on my toe, or backed into me. So I’ll say, in a nice but surprised way, “ooh, watch out”.

"2 metres please" said with a smile is my go to phrase.

Most say "sorry" and step back, some roll their eyes whilst muttering FFS, but still step back.

result either way.

I’m trying to react as though someone has accidentally trodden on my toe, or backed into me. So I’ll say, in a nice but surprised way, “ooh, watch out”
I agree with @GreyishDays
And whatever you do, don't do the whole passive aggressive loud commenting thing. I had some horrible news over the phone the other day while out in public and, I admit, I sat down in shock on a wall a little too close to a family. Instead of asking me to move up in any number of polite ways the bloody mother said to her family "we're going to have to move now everyone because THIS LADY'S SITTING TOO CLOSE.
At that moment I could slapped her stupid face.

In the same way as you would normally - in the old order I used to have to ask people to move back if they were standing in my personal space so close at their bag was touching me. People should still try and be polite, so just ask if people wouldn't mind moving back please to the spot on the floor as indicated (or to leave 2m distance). I have a lot of sympathy for people who just forget about it in the moment and when reminded do step back. I think that's the majority of people including myself on a couple occasions. Those who just don't believe in it are the real problem and the ones who are likely to give you a load of abuse.

If the man cut in the line to join his wife, and this was the reason that the woman behind was too close, she should have said in a louder voice "if you hadn't fucking pushed in, I wouldn't be so close, you stupid cunt

Perfect!

If someone gets closer than I'm comfortable with, I smile sweetly and say "Please would you give me some space?" while holding my hand up, palm outwards, but not extending my arm so that they won't think I'm actually going to push them.

If they didn't respond, or got arsey, they'd get both barrels with extra swearing, but that's never happened yet.