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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why women feel pressure to shave their legs but men don't?

107 replies

AliceAbsolum · 19/08/2020 22:49

Not just legs actually. Armpits. Upper lip, etc.

Also, why am I spending money on nail varnish and beauty products that I don't actually need? Is it capitalism that has told women that there bodies are not good enough and need time money and effort to improve?

Why just because I don't have a penis do I feel the need to pluck my eyebrows?!
Is it a Western thing? A growing up in the 90s thing? I feel like my culture is so engrained its like asking a fish what water is. I wouldn't be seen dead in sandles without painted nails... But I'm starting to wonder why now.

OP posts:
omg35 · 19/08/2020 22:50

Advertising and media

NonsensicalWitch · 19/08/2020 22:52

I think it's because men tend to be hairier, so we have to be the opposite Hmm. No pretending to be a man, ladies. Know your limits!

DipSwimSwoosh · 19/08/2020 22:52

The world is bonkers and so few question it.

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2020 22:52

This sort of thread doesn't work anymore really as loads of teenage boys/young men shave their chests, backs, pubic hair and pluck away their mono-brows.

Leg shaving doesn't seem to be a thing amongst them yet

NonsensicalWitch · 19/08/2020 22:53

I used to know a lovely young man who shaved his legs for swimming. Not sure that counts though.

LupinsNotLilys · 19/08/2020 22:53

Anything goes now

If you put pressure on yourself to shave your pits that's your issue

Propercrimboselecta · 19/08/2020 22:54

Advertising, social media, 'fashion' and the page-3 industry.

I can't remember the last time I painted my toe nails and I save so much effort. If people are staring at my feet then what is wrong with them take the foot fetish elsewhere

022828MAN · 19/08/2020 22:54

Because we've been conditioned to believe we 'have' to!

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 19/08/2020 22:55

I don't know, if DH shaved his legs and then got into a high thread count set of sheets I think he'd be sold. I would be seen both alive or dead with unpainted nails but I do love an aul pop of colour as do my boys. So maybe they're missing out. But I imagine the compulsion began with the societal pressure on women to conform.

MiddlesexGirl · 19/08/2020 22:55

I know a number of men (all younger) who shave their chests. God knows why.

morosetinkler · 19/08/2020 22:56

@022828MAN

Because we've been conditioned to believe we 'have' to!
Still? Hmm
noseresearch · 19/08/2020 22:56

Beauty standards are so high imo
I spend so much time/money on looking the bare minimum / presentable

Due to poor health I have a very high maintenance body Sad

GrimDamnFanjo · 19/08/2020 22:56

Swimming is all about eliminating any form of resistance?

NonsensicalWitch · 19/08/2020 22:57

if DH shaved his legs and then got into a high thread count set of sheets I think he'd be sold

Oh yes, this is right up there with pushing your hand into a massive bucket of sunflower seeds. If you haven't tried it, you haven't lived my friend!

morosetinkler · 19/08/2020 22:57

It's the norm to shave legs if you are a competitive swimmer.

maras2 · 19/08/2020 22:58

From what I've read on here, men do shave.
Legs,arms,pits,back,crack and sack.
I blame porn.
Love a real hairy bloke.(not the man from the cover of 'The Joy Of Sex)
They can be very clean and unsmelly so no excuse for all the baldy stuff.

NonsensicalWitch · 19/08/2020 22:59

@morosetinkler

It's the norm to shave legs if you are a competitive swimmer.
Yes, it is! That's why it doesn't count, I don't think Smile.
Propercrimboselecta · 19/08/2020 22:59

this is right up there with pushing your hand into a massive bucket of sunflower seeds. If you haven't tried it, you haven't lived my friend

This sounds heavenly

FlyingLoo · 19/08/2020 23:00

100% what @WorraLiberty said

Original poster
AliceAbsolum · 19/08/2020 23:01

Advertising and media from men? Or both sexes?

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 19/08/2020 23:04

Leg shaving is the preserve of serious swimmers and cyclists when it comes to men.

There is much more grooming amongst younger men than I remember from when I was that age

But I'm not sure that's a good thing. I'd rather see the end to some of the pressure on women (especially younger women) to conform to with an ever-narrowing set of acceptable looks. It is very much conditioning, and I think it has worsened in the age of social media.

Lemononachair · 19/08/2020 23:11

I don't know, personally I shave my armpits and foof because I prefer how it looks and feels. Legs I'm less fussed about and my bf doesn't care about any of it. He is currently sporting painted nails from the last time I did mine!

If I do paint my nails (hands or feet) I do it because I like it and want a pretty colour on there, not because of any societal expectations. I go months without bothering sometimes if my nails need a break or I just can't be arsed. I don't care either way what anyone else thinks of them.

I actually think that social media is almost going the opposite way and showing people that all sizes and shapes are acceptable and beautiful. Yes there may be more of the slimmer, heavily made up 'Instagram' models but now that anyone with a decent camera phone can take a picture, edit it, and post it online without the need for professionals I think it's opened up a world of variety which can only be a good thing.

MrsKoala · 19/08/2020 23:12

As very very hairy woman I can tell you why I do. I can also say when I met h he was bald all over apart from the genitals. My sister and her h shave everything and they are in their 50s. My dad is a naturally bald bodied man and my mum likes it that way. So is she so fuck knows where I came from!!

YinuCeatleAyru · 19/08/2020 23:18

So: hair anywhere other than on the head and in 2 perfectly shaped eyebrows is shameful for women. This is because hair on any other part of the body is caused by normal adult hormones and makes the female body look less like the pre-pubescent "ideal" of hairlessness. The ultimate root of this ideal is a deep seated acceptance of a tendency towards paedophilia. even if never acted upon, a man who prefers to see the female body hairless is preferring it to be more child-like. women have internalised this aesthetic and consider their own bodies disgusting if they dare to grow a hair where it is not welcome.

refusing to shave is a revolutionary act that says : my body is acceptable in its natural state and does not need to be shaved, plucked or waxed in order to be beautiful, because real women actually do have hair in numerous places and there is nothing wrong with that.

Original poster
AliceAbsolum · 19/08/2020 23:25

@YinuCeatleAyru

So: hair anywhere other than on the head and in 2 perfectly shaped eyebrows is shameful for women. This is because hair on any other part of the body is caused by normal adult hormones and makes the female body look less like the pre-pubescent "ideal" of hairlessness. The ultimate root of this ideal is a deep seated acceptance of a tendency towards paedophilia. even if never acted upon, a man who prefers to see the female body hairless is preferring it to be more child-like. women have internalised this aesthetic and consider their own bodies disgusting if they dare to grow a hair where it is not welcome.

refusing to shave is a revolutionary act that says : my body is acceptable in its natural state and does not need to be shaved, plucked or waxed in order to be beautiful, because real women actually do have hair in numerous places and there is nothing wrong with that.

Really?! Any literature on that?
OP posts: