To wonder why women feel pressure to shave their legs but men don't?

[AliceAbsolum]

Not just legs actually. Armpits. Upper lip, etc.

Also, why am I spending money on nail varnish and beauty products that I don't actually need? Is it capitalism that has told women that there bodies are not good enough and need time money and effort to improve?

Why just because I don't have a penis do I feel the need to pluck my eyebrows?!
Is it a Western thing? A growing up in the 90s thing? I feel like my culture is so engrained its like asking a fish what water is. I wouldn't be seen dead in sandles without painted nails... But I'm starting to wonder why now.

@bluebluezoo I probably have gone out with unshaved armpits many times, but nobody would have known except me. I'm not a very hairy person anyway it takes a week or 2 for my pits to grow. I have never been close enough to a stranger to see their body hair. If I seen a woman, or man for that matter, with a massive bush pertruding from the pit, I would think its a bit un-sightly, but wouldn't care.

Interesting. My dh does not remove hair, didn't realise so many men did.

I'll check out that book.

I'd be pretty mortified to go out with unshaven pits. People would judge!

If they don't judge you on your hairy pits they'll be judging you on something else op

Just do what makes you happy . Let them judge

I'd be pretty mortified to go out with unshaven pits. People would judge!

I agree actually, most people probably would.

But I really can't agree with the fingernail and toenail polish.

I think that one's on you and possibly the company you keep.

I should add to my comment. I am a T.shirt person to be fair

As a recently divorced woman in her late 30s I can proudly say I no longer shave anything.

Having said that I do occasionally look down at my now very hairy legs (not shaved since I left) in shorts and feel self conscious. I'm big enough and ugly enough and I've been through enough shit to not care. It does still take a bit of mental effort though to not shave. I still feel I 'should'.

It's taken a lot for me to be at this point. 10 years ago no way would I be the hairy Mary I am now.

I agree with the posters above who say it's basically internalised misogyny. We are trained to feel shame about our bodies doing very natural things. I don't think it's true to say people don't care. They do care a lot. A young girl getting changed for PE at school would definitely be shamed by her peers for hairy armpits. To the point of mocking and daily name calling (at my school anyway).

We're trained to want to be "attractive". Were told (directly and indirectly) all the time that our worth as a person is linked to our attractiveness. We all want to be seen as desirable and it's hard to go against that. Very hard.

There's no way all the leg shaving that goes on is just for swimming and cycling competitions!

Ah “The Patriarchy”

Yes lots to answer for but dont use it as an excuse as to what you decide to do with your body hair

Take responsibility for your own shit ffs

I only trim my pubes so my DP doesn’t have to find his way through the undergrowth when he goes down on me .

Also shave pits as BO is worse when I don’t.

No man I’ve ever slept with has claimed to be bothered by hair. Maybe I’ve just been lucky but I tend to think if you’re naked and in bed they’re just chuffed to be getting a shag tbh.

I used to work in a very ‘done up’ workplace and revel in deliberately making no effort, then got dolled up for a night out with them there were mouths agape, it’s fun!

Just do what pleases you, as long as you don’t reek or have bits of dried food on your face it’s fine.

My husband likes to shave his face, I like to shave pretty much anything except my head. And we both like each other that way but equally if he grew a beard or I went all Amazonian we'd be ok with it. But we both generally like and agree that masculine = hair and feminine = no hair

@AlwaysLatte Me and my DH are the same. Be prepared to be told your DH is a peado for liking shaved women

Why just because I don't have a penis do I feel the need to pluck my eyebrows?!

because it's a you thing rather than a woman thing?
I don't have a penis either, am in my 40s and can honestly say I have never ever felt the need to pluck my eyebrows!
Same goes with nail products etc you say you don't need.
Don't buy them then. I never wear make up or nail varnish, never been a problem.
We're all different.
Find it a bit sad you feel like you have to!

Cause we’re brainwashed bots of the patriarchy and the men tell us to, obviously.

Oh, and cause we want to look prepubescent. Obviously.

I shave my armpits and lower legs in the summer but this is for myself. I don't shave down below because I don't like the stubble and itching when it grows back. In the winter it's usually just armpits only! I think originally it was just because men wanted women to shave to look good for them. I prefer a man with chest hair etc and my Fiance fortunately does have a hairy chest!

I go through stages of hair removal & grooming - sometimes more than others.
At the moment I'm letting it all hang out 'cos I can't be arsed... although I might shave my legs soon as I've got some nice new Egyptian cotton 400 thread count sheets from John Lewis!
Gardening & walking a lot so no point in manicure/pedicures - nail clippers do the job nicely.
I only even wear trousers or ankle length skirts so nobody knows the state of my legs. If I was wearing very smart clothes, I'd shave my armpits if on show & probably paint my toenails if in posh sandals.

As for male expectations?
Some men like the hairy unmanicured look - think I'm likely to be more dominant in bed (????) - apparently I'm going against society's norms so will be adventurous in the sack - I jest not!
Others want more grooming - legs shaved, maybe a tidier pubic area, no underarm hair. If I really like them then I might go along with it, otherwise no.
If a male is over groomed it does freak me out a bit as I then feel pressure to groom myself. Not so bothered about hairy men running riot...

So tired of everything being blamed on “capitalism”.

This is a cultural issue, not an economic one.

@PlanDeRaccordement

So tired of everything being blamed on “capitalism”.

This is a cultural issue, not an economic one.

Agree.

I think anyone should be able to do whatever they like with their body hair.

I'm not fussed about nail polish but I wouldn't go out with unshaven armpits or out in a dress with hairy legs personally.

racing cyclists shave their legs (Women & Men) because it's less painful to remove a dressing after the inevitable injuries. It has now become The Look, and a lot of male cyclists shave their legs because they think it makes them look 'professional'.

I have a number of young friends 😉 and one who came over the other day apologised "for not having time to shave". Puzzled, I said it wasn't a problem (beards etc don't bother me, actually quite like them and hairy men in general).
It transpired that he meant that he didn't have time to shave his balls
Led to quite an interesting discussion on body hair after the shag 😁

Nobody is pressuring you into shaving any more than they are pressuring you into wearing a particular item of clothing or shoe. There has always been trends and fashions and people choose to follow them or not. Individual style normally makes people stand out from the crowd, right or wrongly, but these days that seems to be celebrated rather than ridiculed. Shave if you want to, don't if you don't want to. Follow fashions if you want to, don't if you don't want to, it really is that simple.
With regards to men, there has always been expectations that men shave their faces to look smart. Possibly only their faces because in a professional environment this is the only part of the body that is seen. Men don't tend to wear sleeveless tops and shorts to the office whereas a woman might.

Because the patriarchy and media has instilled in us an image of what women should look like.
Shaved armpits and legs, feminine clothing, hair and makeup. Razors were invented by a man and women's razors are more expensive then men's razors.
I think women as a general rule are not bothered by their own body hair - they are actually more bothered about how others will perceive their body hair.

It’s not free choice - if it were so, far more men would do it!

There IS high social pressure on girls and women to remove hair. And to dye hair on our heads, when it turns grey.

A hairy man’s a handsome man, a hairy woman’s a witch!

Traditional Scottish saying, I believe...

When I see these threads blaming porn/the patriarchy i always think hmmm. When i started growing pubic hair as a pre-teen i hated it. I hated the look and the feel. I tried trimming it really short but the blunt ends were unbearably itchy. I certainly wasn't aware of porn and my flaps weren't to be seen by any male partners for quite some years. I wanted the hair gone because I didn't like it! Sometimes people do have preferences in a vacuum, OP!

Anyway, my downstairs hair has gradually reduced over the years due to waxing and then laser treatment. I still have a small triangle on my lower mons pubis/upper labia. Ironically I have kept this because my husband has a strong preference for "bush". He would rather I had kept more so this was a compromise. If it was down to me alone it would all be gone - I much prefer the look and feel of smooth. So I HAVE got some hair still and it's because of a man's preference. It's an odd sort of reversal of the point i think OP was trying to prove.

I personally don’t like hair on my body, even in winter. Luckily I don’t have to shave often, but I feel more hygienic without armpit hair. I don’t like the feel of hair on my legs. I don’t like the look of mono brows. But you do you! It’s a personal preference rather than societal expectations. Just like how we choose to have different hairstyles, men and women.

The majority of people believe excess body hair on women is unattractive.

Rightly or wrongly.