Unfair splitting of finances.

[tiredandemosh1]

My take home pay is £1300 per month. DP earns £2500. He does have lots to pay out, ie maintenance amongst other commitments he can't get out of.
He pays tv bill and £800 rent. I have 3 children who live with us. I pay all food and all other bills. Eldest has started working, just turned 18 so pays £30 per week rent which I put towards food.
Does this seem fair to everyone? I'm curious what others think.

@SleepingStandingUp

except in the months when there is no council tax to pay the what months???

Does anyone still pay there council tax over 10 months?!

*their

You've added it up wrong.

By which I mean the total comes to £1603, not £1703, so they are paying around half each. Then take off the £120 from the OP's son, so she is paying around £683 per month plus incidentals. Her partner is paying £800 rent plus TV costs - we don't know if this is just the basic license fee or a Sky/Virgin/broadband package etc.

Given that 80% of the household is the OP's responsibility and that the partner has other children to support, I don't think it's that unfair?

Does anyone still pay there council tax over 10 months?!

Yes, we do!

@AlexaShutUp

Does anyone still pay there council tax over 10 months?!

Yes, we do!

I couldn’t be doing with that I like my outgoings as evenly spread as possible. I do still remember that feeling of being quite rich in Feb & Mar though!

I’m surprised people still do it - but I still understand what is meant be “free months”!

the what months???

In every county I've lived in, council tax is only paid for ten months of the year. I have no idea why. I think you can apply to split it over twelve, but the default is ten.

I love the council-tax holiday months!

If you live together why can't you have a joint account into which both are collectively paid in plus the contribution from your son and your maintenance. Then all bills, his maintenance and food and family leisure activities are paid from that account. Then you can divvy the rest up as spends.

If you're actually worse off as a result of living together, I don't see the point.

Rent 800.00
Council tax 165 (so 41.25 more than before)
Gas/elec 120.00
Water 80.00
Insurance 25.00
Food (is this actually just food or all groceries?) 433.00

Total 1703.00

A quick look at tv license bill 157 which would equal 1860

He pays £957 (800+157)
He son pays £120
And she pays £783.
So he will be paying well over the odds as he is only 20% of the household.
One other thing is those saying the repairs required for the house , which even if they were £150 a month would still have him paying too much.
In the usual blind way some Mns seem to think the OPs bills are their bills whilst his bills are his own and completely left out his payment for maintenance which on his salary will be atleast £400.
So the total will be £2410
Him £1357
son £120
Her £933

I get that this sight should be about supporting other women , but ppl do no favours by destroying relationships due to hatred of gender.

The OP will be worse off if this relationship ends and even if she gets all her benefits back she will not be able to be anything but skint on an income of £1300 to raise a family of four.

you set your living situation up as a 'family'....yet your finances are set up as though it's just a bf/gf sharing a house...with the kids expenses being your sole responsibility cos they're 'yours'.....

@THisbackwithavengeance

If you live together why can't you have a joint account into which both are collectively paid in plus the contribution from your son and your maintenance. Then all bills, his maintenance and food and family leisure activities are paid from that account. Then you can divvy the rest up as spends.
Shouldn't all the extra cash he earns go to his ex and his kids and not for the wellbeing of kids that aren't his?

If you're actually worse off as a result of living together, I don't see the point.

She is better off- she just wants him to pay more. What she should be doing is chasing her ex for maintenance

He's paying too much. Seems unfair and unbalanced. Also it's not his fault you earn less.
I've always split 50-50 even when on minimum wage and with a partner earning a decent wage. Equality and all that??

but you have lost single persons council tax, other benefits

Wouldn’t OP have lost this anyway considering her son has just turned 18 & is working full time?

@Cheeseandwin5 the TV license bill isn't £157 per month though surely? Haven't you treated an annual expense as though it were a monthly expense in your figures?

So your outgoings are as follows:

Rent 800.00
Council tax 165 (so 41.25 more than before)
Gas/elec 120.00
Water 80.00
Insurance 25.00
Food (is this actually just food or all groceries?) 433.00

Total 1703.00

Isn't it £1,623?

OP, in your shoes I would look into improving your own income rather than trying to think your partner should pay more. I am not a big believer in the concept that who owns more should pay more. They are your children. You and their father are responsible for their upbringing.

How are you spending 100 quid a week on food ? Name brands and Waitrose I expect

Wow didn't expect so many replies. Thank you all.
To answer some questions, discussed prior to moving in that I'd be worse off but we wanted to make it work and all our kids have more space here, 4 beds but his children have one room when they stay.
It was discussed that our differing incomes would be taken into account. He is better off. I am not.
I've already increased my hours and am due to again but then that's over full time. I do all shopping cooking and cleaning so even though I ask for help with that it happens occasionally but not often enough. My kids to chores I ask them to.
Tv bill is sky, my kids don't have that in their rooms so don't watch it. Majority of those time is in own rooms.
I shop at the local. Fruit and veg market stall, butchers for meat and Aldi/Asda for basics. No Waitrose brands. I plan and make healthy meals.
I get that I should be paying more, that is fair

What definitely isn't fair OP is that you are doing way over your share of housework and cooking

You need to sit down and do a proper budget.

Your food estimate is far too low. I bet it’s miles more than that.

Also go to CMS for maintenance.

Easy to spend £100 on food for 4 kids and 2 adults @BonnieMcflurry. I'd say that's pretty good going.

@Tinkity

but you have lost single persons council tax, other benefits

Wouldn’t OP have lost this anyway considering her son has just turned 18 & is working full time?

100%. No single person council tax/child benefit/child tax credit or uc child element/housing benefit/element would have been deducted to account for an adult (the 18 year old) living there

You should have a similar disposable income after all income and bills are considered first, so to including CB, maintenance paid and received. This is the only way to assess fairness.

Is the £1300 your PT or ft income? If PT, it was fair that you should do a bit more in the house than him. Now that you are ft, assuming similar working hours including commute, it should be equally shared.

I disagree with posters who say that you should pay more. He earns more hence should pay proportionately more. I don't see the point of living together if you dont pool finances.

How is this benefiting you? Its certainly benefiting him. His outgoings are probably less and he has a FT housekeeper, someone to mind his kids on his weekends and a live in sexual partner.

Fuck that. I'd live separately if I were you and then you can still have see each a couple of times a week but not have to clean up after another adult as well as be poorer. I just dont see the point.