School 'Social Justice manager' knocking on my door. Confused. Why ??

[clapshot]

I'm in Scotland. So this is the second week of schools being back.

We (me and DC and P) stay with MIL, DC Grandmother. She had part of a lung removed in early March for lung cancer. Multidisciplinary team are considering radiotherapy. She also has heart problems. Still in her 60s.

I'm extremely wary of sending DC back to school, so I didn't. I emailed their schools, which was received as I got a reply from both, the high school one saying they'll be in contact.

I've had a couple of phone calls from a withheld number yesterday and today but I'm WFH so was busy.

Door knocked earlier, was working so didn't answer. Again just now. I don't usually answer unless I'm expecting someone (door faces onto street and get a lot of sellers and religion people).

Looked out the window as they were leaving and my eldest DC recognised them as the Social Justice manager of their school.

What is this all about ??

Am I in some kind of trouble ??

Why would a school do this ??

I'm going to phone them up tomorrow but just wondered why they would be knocking my door ??

It may be only a few days school to you - to them it's a child they have not seen in person since March.

Many schools were also doing welfare checks on all pupils via phone during lockdown too, so if they may have been trying to call since March/ April and had no response from you because you ignore withheld numbers.

Add to that the fact that your child has now not returned to school, they will be concerned about that child's welfare, appropriate measures will be taken to establish they are well and being looked after.

I've since found out they've also called the emergency contact (my parents). A 15 year old. After a few days. And after I'd already emailed them explaining.

The age of the child is irrelevant, they have a duty of care. Children don't stop being safeguarded just because they're teenagers. And it's a good thing they contacted the emergency contact, it means they take these things seriously. A little autistic boy in London starved to death because his mother had a seizure and died. If his school and had been as proactive as yours is being he might not have died.
God, schools can't win can they?

Why can’t your kids go out and see their friends?

OP i have a background of DV and severe anxiety about answering the phone. I feel for you.

I also have 2 immunocompromised kids that I legally HAVE to send in to school in a few weeks. If it comes home with any of my 3 kids, I am extremely high risk and in all likeliness they will go in to care/become orphans.

So yes, I get that fear, I do. I also get that it is hard to follow the laws set down by a government who clearly have no idea what they are doing and do not value the lives of the vulnerable sufficiently.

I do however intend to send my kids in, despite my 14 yo DD who is vulnerable will have to travel for 2 hours a day on public transport.

Why will I do it? Because of what you have been subjected to on this thread. Because it is the law and I brought them up to follow the law.

I will carefully monitor figures for cases and hospital admissions, and if it gets iffy, we may become symptomatic.

This is the only way I can see going forward.

according to some, this virus could kill "anybody" so I'm not sure that being with someone who is shielding is that special a category.

Is "State Guardian for all children" the system that OP is encountering? There were suspicious threads about it on MN back in 2014.

Sorry you are having such a hard time of it OP, both on here and in your personal life.

No one is going to say that the school is being unreasonable, because they are doing exactly what they should be doing from a safeguarding point. If you want to take your kids out of school for such a long period of time, you are going to need to have a conversation with the school, not just send an email. One child is 15? So building up to their GCSEs in the not too distant future? This will be a worry for the school. They won't want your child's grades to be affected. I'm not trying to be harsh here, but do your kids definitely do the work or are they on their phones the second your back is turned?

@clapshot this Facebook group is very supportive.

@clapshot

I don't even know if they did call, that's my point. I presume it was the school, because they said they'd be in touch. I specifically requested they contact me by email, and the phone calls were from a withheld number.

They can't e-mail you about things like this. They need to speak to you over the phone or in person.

Firstly, it's not confidential (how do they know who's reading your e-mails) and secondly, how do they know you're the one replying? It could be your children, an abusive partner or, well, anyone really. They need to know they're speaking to you.

You can't just e-mail the school, tell them your kids won't be returning and not expect any repercussions from that. You ignored the phone and didn't answer the door. I suspect they'll return again over the next couple of days and if you continue to ignore them/refuse to engage then social services will get involved.

If you don't think it's safe for your DC to attend school then you need to speak to the school in person/by phone and arrange home learning, or de-register them. You can't just e-mail them and that's it.

The ones I worked with tended to come from youth work type backgrounds and worked to support young people and their families with a range of challenges. They weren’t attendance officers it was a much more holistic approach.

You need to think how this looks to the school.

Sending an email is not good enough. Anybody can send an email- your dd, an abusive partner... You need to talk to them on the phone or ask for a face to face meeting.

Did you email the Head or the general office email? The general office email will be inundated with questions from the new starters, questions about new routines, questions from people wanting their kids to start next year... Your email is likely to get lost.

From the school's point of view you seem like you are up to no good and if a person from school turned up by appointment then you'd just go out to avoid them or be unavailable. Nobody from school has seen your dd in the flesh since March. Her friends would cover for her if asked and might have been using text apps like WhatsApp rather than video like FaceTime which doesn't prove that your dd is ok. Teenagers generally don't snake on each other- it's social suicide and only acceptable in extreme circumstances. Eg My son was out with friends and they had to call someone's mum when one of the boys injured themselves so badly that an ambulance was needed.

When your dd recognised the person from school why didn't you chase after them?

Did you really think that your plan to keep her at home for 4 weeks when your partner goes out to work was ok? School are going to [hmmm] about that one. If your MIL has had medical advice saying that your dd going to school isn't ok then you need to contact the school with the name of the consultant.

Your plan tomorrow needs to be phone school with time slots that you can talk on the phone. Answer all calls that come through in that timeslot.

OP, your concerns re your MIL may or may not be valid but you may be protecting her at the expense of your children's future.

Your 15 year old needs a proper, professional, structured and targeted education. This is a crucial year for her.

You don't say how old your other child is, but you need a better solution than 'stay off some more with books till .... whenever.' Already, your children will have missed important re-introduction plans, assessments, recaps. You don't know what's happening at the school. You won't have access to any revisions of syllabus/exam content/centre grading that might occur etc. If, god forbid, we have a second year of exam disruption, keeping your child off could mean no grades for her - nothing she produces at home will count.

This isn't a plan. It just isn't. You need better options, particularly since you aren't actually shielding as a family at all, so that isn't a reason to keep them at home.

What options have you considered to let them go back? Could your children move in with your parents? Aunts? Uncles? Cousins? You need a better plan, because your children are legally entitled to their education in school, unless you have a proper one for home schooling for the year.

Plus as everyone has said attendance is now compulsory and there are no online lessons....
@ChnandlerBong I think you will find there is a full curriculum of online lessons.
classroom.thenational.academy/year-groups

And so it begins. I’m sure you’re not going to be the only one doing this. But if you do not want your children back into education, then de-register them and get someone in to home school them, or home school yourself. Your DCs are going to get so far behind if you keep them home with zero education, that they won’t be able to go back to the same year, and will be held back.

@chickenyhead

OP i have a background of DV and severe anxiety about answering the phone. I feel for you.

I also have 2 immunocompromised kids that I legally HAVE to send in to school in a few weeks. If it comes home with any of my 3 kids, I am extremely high risk and in all likeliness they will go in to care/become orphans.

So yes, I get that fear, I do. I also get that it is hard to follow the laws set down by a government who clearly have no idea what they are doing and do not value the lives of the vulnerable sufficiently.

I do however intend to send my kids in, despite my 14 yo DD who is vulnerable will have to travel for 2 hours a day on public transport.

Why will I do it? Because of what you have been subjected to on this thread. Because it is the law and I brought them up to follow the law.

I will carefully monitor figures for cases and hospital admissions, and if it gets iffy, we may become symptomatic.

This is the only way I can see going forward.

Thanks for your kind comment.

It sums up exactly how I'm feeling about things, particularly the government not having any concern for the previously shielding.

I hate the implication that I'm some kind of awful mother because I have an anxiety around the phone and the door. I made the mistake of answering the door once and my ex barged in past me and assaulted me. I moved and he found us and same again, he trashed my house that time. This was 15 years ago, he is long gone (to some PPs - no my DC are NOT in danger - I got out when eldest was 6 weeks). I just don't like answering the door unless I know who it is. I don't like the phone because I get flustered if put on the spot, I'm socially anxious but people don't realise this, so when I say silly things or mumble etc, I go over it for days. I changed job for this reason.

I will have to 'woman up' and answer them. It's just a difficult time, and I suppose I'd hoped an email would suffice for a while, or they'd make an appointment to call, not from a withheld number.

OP is in Scotland and Oak Academy is for England

As the kids are registered to a school they have a duty of care to check in on them. You may find that they start issuing fines for non-attendance.

Best to off-roll the kids and inform the LEA that you will be homeschooling for the remainder of the year (at least). You WILL need to properly home school though, it would be unfair to your kids not to.

Ignore all of the rubbish about your child needing to be in school - that's your decision. Lots of children are home schooled, it's neither unusual or anyone else's business AND a few months of school are not worth risking a family member's life for.

I do get why you didn’t want to answer the door, but why did no one else in the house answer? Especially when your eldest knew who it was.

As an aside, don't allow yourself to be bullied here. There is a lot of pro-school rhetoric due to people wanting/needing to go back to work and/or not being arsed to home school over lockdown.

Plenty of kids do great out of home schooling and there are great online school platforms.

Do what YOU think is best for YOUR family.

Shit can get real bitchy here if you don't go with the majority, unfortunately.x.

@clapshot regardless whether they know about your own history of DV and anxiety, they will be really concerned about students that are not coming back and no response from parents. Local councils and police have seen huge spikes in welfare concerns for children and women experiencing abuse during lockdown. It is a good thing they are checking up. They are doing their job. Imagine a different family presenting the same response but behind closed doors and unanswered calls is abuse, violence, control.

Why don’t you email them and agree a pre arranged time to either meet with someone or have a phone call so you know when/who will be calling? I agree with everyone else, you can’t just pull kids out of With just an email, they will need to check the kids are ok, and what’s happening with their schooling. But perhaps if you explain a little about why you never answered etc they would be willing to make an appointment to talk it over? Because it’s not going to go away right now, so you do need to have this chat. And come up with a plan for your children.

Why won't you answer the door if someone you're not expecting knocks? That must make life very difficult.

I appreciate your in a difficult situation but If I was you I’d be thinking my kids are in a good school. They’ve followed up very quickly on the well being of your children, they may not be at risk but many kids are especially due to this pandemic and it is their parents who are very good at hiding the truth. I also think 4 weeks will not give an indication of where we are with schools, it will more likely be late Sept or Oct/Nov at best when flu season kicks in and the weather gets colder. You need to either sort something out or if you can home educate, we’re in this for the long haul.

InDeoEstMeaFiducia

Well said.