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AIBU?

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Original poster

School 'Social Justice manager' knocking on my door. Confused. Why ??

404 replies

clapshot · 19/08/2020 16:42

I'm in Scotland. So this is the second week of schools being back.

We (me and DC and P) stay with MIL, DC Grandmother. She had part of a lung removed in early March for lung cancer. Multidisciplinary team are considering radiotherapy. She also has heart problems. Still in her 60s.

I'm extremely wary of sending DC back to school, so I didn't. I emailed their schools, which was received as I got a reply from both, the high school one saying they'll be in contact.

I've had a couple of phone calls from a withheld number yesterday and today but I'm WFH so was busy.

Door knocked earlier, was working so didn't answer. Again just now. I don't usually answer unless I'm expecting someone (door faces onto street and get a lot of sellers and religion people).

Looked out the window as they were leaving and my eldest DC recognised them as the Social Justice manager of their school.

What is this all about ??

Am I in some kind of trouble ??

Why would a school do this ??

I'm going to phone them up tomorrow but just wondered why they would be knocking my door ??

OP posts:
Misknit · 19/08/2020 18:19

It's not about agency. It's about safeguarding children. If your course of action can be perceived to be damaging to their longterm development it is a concern and without seeing the children how can a school know with any level of certainty whether the children are safe and well?They have to think in worse case scenarios. It has to be a case of this could happen not 'oh they are probably alright because we have received an email.'

Original poster
clapshot · 19/08/2020 18:19

They've been in contact with their friends via whatever they do on phones the whole time. I did wonder why they didn't ask their friends as they'd heard from them.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 19/08/2020 18:20

I just feel a bit mistrusted / hounded if something has happened to your child, you could be at risk too. This isn't about school assuming you're neglecting or abusing your children, it's about them missing yet another month at least ( you could email in 3 weeks and say another month) and the parent not engaging.
Is the child DPs? Can he talk to them?

SleepingStandingUp · 19/08/2020 18:20

@clapshot

They've been in contact with their friends via whatever they do on phones the whole time. I did wonder why they didn't ask their friends as they'd heard from them.
Because teenagers lie and cover for each other.
SockYarn · 19/08/2020 18:20

Can you not understand that some parents might send an email explaining their child's absence that isn't genuine

Or a tech savvy child sends their own email from mum;s phone. Or an abusive partner sends the email. Or any other number of scenarios.

Also on the "don't schools send letters" - in my area no they don't any more as the new Covid rules mean all paper is quarantined for 72 hours. Hmm So they will pick up the phone and call you. Obviously if you don't answer - twice - when the only contact has been an email which could have been sent by anyone, that's a worry. Whatever the age of the kids.

Bluntness100 · 19/08/2020 18:20

You have a lot of agency in your child’s life.

What you don’t get to do is decide to withdraw her from education as you see fit. It is illegal. You need to seek permission or deregister and home school. There is no keeping the place and not sending her till you see fit.

And not answering the door, not answering the phone, your child not answering the door even though she could see who it was is just going to escalate rhe probkem. They will now be worried about her welfare.

You need to make a decision. You can’t just procrastinate on this.

GoldenKelpie · 19/08/2020 18:21

@clapshot

I'm in Scotland. So this is the second week of schools being back.

We (me and DC and P) stay with MIL, DC Grandmother. She had part of a lung removed in early March for lung cancer. Multidisciplinary team are considering radiotherapy. She also has heart problems. Still in her 60s.

I'm extremely wary of sending DC back to school, so I didn't. I emailed their schools, which was received as I got a reply from both, the high school one saying they'll be in contact.

I've had a couple of phone calls from a withheld number yesterday and today but I'm WFH so was busy.

Door knocked earlier, was working so didn't answer. Again just now. I don't usually answer unless I'm expecting someone (door faces onto street and get a lot of sellers and religion people).

Looked out the window as they were leaving and my eldest DC recognised them as the Social Justice manager of their school.

What is this all about ??

Am I in some kind of trouble ??

Why would a school do this ??

I'm going to phone them up tomorrow but just wondered why they would be knocking my door ??

I work in a Scottish school but not heard of a Social Justice Manager Hmm. We have a pupil who is home learning at the moment, we don't know for how long, but it is not necessary to 'deregister', surely. I am sure they will return when they deem it safe.

What is this about? No idea, best to call council for clarification or look at their website.

Am I in trouble? No.

Why would school do this? No idea, check with council.

Good luck.

Sirzy · 19/08/2020 18:21

@clapshot

They've been in contact with their friends via whatever they do on phones the whole time. I did wonder why they didn't ask their friends as they'd heard from them.
Because if abuse is going on then they may not tell the friends.

Because “well they where online last night” doesn’t tell them anything

Because friends may well cover up things for friends if they know they are in trouble.

Genevieva · 19/08/2020 18:21

The school has a legal obligation so don't feel affronted or worried. See it as an opportunity to explore. your options and reach an informed conclusion.

ScorpioSphinxInACalicoDress · 19/08/2020 18:21

You're right that one size doesn't fit all- but all odd sizes have to be checked. Because of the demographic at one of my school's, the very first question for example in a situation like yours, would be has the 15 year old girl be sent away for an arranged marriage or for FGM. It HAS to be investigated.

Contact them first thing tomorrow. And discuss with your partner if the arrangement as it stands is healthy (psychologically)

ScorpioSphinxInACalicoDress · 19/08/2020 18:22

Urgh random apostrophe.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/08/2020 18:23

Perhaps op the school upon not being able to contact the family of a child who isn't going to come to school for however long and who's family don't want to engage should just cancel their school place. Then they won't interfere where vulnerable kids are at risk and you can have all the agency you want to not formally educate your child

Original poster
clapshot · 19/08/2020 18:23

I don't even know if they did call, that's my point. I presume it was the school, because they said they'd be in touch. I specifically requested they contact me by email, and the phone calls were from a withheld number.

OP posts:
LucyFox · 19/08/2020 18:23

OP If your children were in school, and the school was trying to phone you because one was ill/had had an accident etc, how would they get hold of you? If you won’t answer your phone they would contact the next emergency contact which is your parents.
The school have not seen your children since March and they have a legal duty to make sure that they are safe – they will be chasing up all students who aren’t in school as a priority to make sure no child in need is overlooked
The school have done everything right. At best you can try the following:
Phone the school first thing tomorrow “hello it’s - please can I speak to the person responsible for attendance? I contacted the school last week about my children are not returning just yet due to a very vulnerable family member, I have received a couple of missed calls to my phone from a withheld number and it’s just occurred to me that these might be from the school – I am currently working from home but am not always able to answer my phone if I am on a work call, but I will be available if anyone needs to contact me”

RJnomore1 · 19/08/2020 18:24

@clapshot are you by any chance in east Renfrewshire?

Bluntness100 · 19/08/2020 18:24

Why email op? They want to speak to you. They will not do this remotely like you wish. That’s not going to happen.

Sirzy · 19/08/2020 18:25

I am a massive fan of email and will avoid calls whenever possible. However this is a situation where you need to talk to them not just write back and forward.

Lazypuppy · 19/08/2020 18:25

I can't believe people don't answer their phones or doors 🤦‍♀️

DopamineHits · 19/08/2020 18:26

I was born far too late. I wish I had been born at a time when you could choose if you fancied school or not... "Flu season is starting, I'd better have three months at home Mum."

Flatpackback · 19/08/2020 18:27

Even if you don’t want to open the door, you could at least stick your head out of the window and ask who they are and what they want. An upstairs window works best. Unless you are in a flat with no way of seeing who’s there YABU unreasonable. Why on earth didn’t you speak to them when they were there and make an appointment to discuss at a convenient time?

Original poster
clapshot · 19/08/2020 18:27

@RJnomore1 . No I'm not in East Renfrewshire, why though, is it different in East Renfrewshire ??

OP posts:
spanieleyes · 19/08/2020 18:27

By now they don't just want to speak to you, they want to see you and the children to make sure you are all safe and well.

SockYarn · 19/08/2020 18:28

Also schools at the moment in scotland are being DELUGED with emails about exam results, covid arrangements and goodness knows what else.

If you just emailed the general office or admin number, it's entirely possible that it's got lost in the deluge of 1000 other emails, especially in a busy Secondary School Office. This whole "i don't pick up the phone or answer the door" thing is deeply weird.

RJnomore1 · 19/08/2020 18:30

No, I worked with social justice managers there some years ago and I could have told you their role there. Not all Scottish LAs have them so I would imagine they are different in different Council areas.

RJnomore1 · 19/08/2020 18:31

And I don’t answer cals with out numbers either and when I’m working from home quite often I’m in teams calls so I don’t answering the door/sticking my head out anywhere 🤷🏻‍♀️