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AIBU?

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Original poster

School 'Social Justice manager' knocking on my door. Confused. Why ??

404 replies

clapshot · 19/08/2020 16:42

I'm in Scotland. So this is the second week of schools being back.

We (me and DC and P) stay with MIL, DC Grandmother. She had part of a lung removed in early March for lung cancer. Multidisciplinary team are considering radiotherapy. She also has heart problems. Still in her 60s.

I'm extremely wary of sending DC back to school, so I didn't. I emailed their schools, which was received as I got a reply from both, the high school one saying they'll be in contact.

I've had a couple of phone calls from a withheld number yesterday and today but I'm WFH so was busy.

Door knocked earlier, was working so didn't answer. Again just now. I don't usually answer unless I'm expecting someone (door faces onto street and get a lot of sellers and religion people).

Looked out the window as they were leaving and my eldest DC recognised them as the Social Justice manager of their school.

What is this all about ??

Am I in some kind of trouble ??

Why would a school do this ??

I'm going to phone them up tomorrow but just wondered why they would be knocking my door ??

OP posts:
ilovecherries · 19/08/2020 17:50

OP, contact Schoolhouse.org.uk They are the Scottish charity that supports and advises home educators, and they all help you stay on the right side of the law with this. It's a very different situation here from England, so be careful who you take advice from.

Gingerkittykat · 19/08/2020 17:51

Why the OP didn't answer the door is irrelevant.

You need to have some kind of formal plan for home ed, my friend home educates and is checked once a year. You can contact one of the home ed charities for advice and guidance about what to do next.

Ultimately it might go to a children's panel if they deem the children are not being educated.

Original poster
clapshot · 19/08/2020 17:51

@StormzyInaDCup

The school know nothing about the domestic abuse (I left when DC was weeks old and he's long gone, no contact). They also know nothing about my anxiety.

Pre pandemic, I just send them to school and make sure they do their homework. Turn up to parents nights. That's it.

All this contact with them is new to me.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 19/08/2020 17:51

You do feel rather hounded? Hmm

I expect they feel they have better things to be doing than running around after a grown woman who won't answer her phone, or her door despite being told they'll be in touch.

And now they've had to go to the trouble of contacting your parents too.

Woman up and deal with your children's situation here.

Apolloanddaphne · 19/08/2020 17:52

They are hounding you because they need to speak to you and see the children to ensure all is well and you are not giving them made up excuses for their non attendance at school. They will have an obligation to ensure the children are being educated. It isn't really that hard to understand why they need too speak to you in person and probably see the children too.

SoupDragon · 19/08/2020 17:53

I've since found out they've also called the emergency contact (my parents). A 15 year old. After a few days. And after I'd already emailed them explaining.

Yes, because you've been ignoring them and they can't get in touch with you like they said they would! They need to work out the best way to ensure your children are educated (and safe and well).

Itsjustabitofbanter · 19/08/2020 17:53

It’s ok op. You don’t have to answer the door. If you’ll leave it long enough they’ll simply put it through to check the children’s welfare.

ilovecherries · 19/08/2020 17:54

Also, many schools do NOT know the home education legislation either. Honestly, SchoolHouse is your best bet here.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/08/2020 17:55

My DC are older and they are self motivated you said you messaged both schools and the secondary replied. It's hardly a wild leap to assume the other was primary.

Do people think tweens and teens run around like toddlers?? Nope but even 15 year olds illness guidance and motivation esp when all they're mates are back together be having fun and they have to stay in.

Also my sister is in teaching but on mat leave so she is helping out. Gas she had the baby yet?

I've since found out they've also called the emergency contact (my parents). A 15 year old. After a few days. And after I'd already emailed them explaining. They called the emergency contact about a CHILD after they'd had an email which could have been off any or done under coercion and then Mom couldnt be reached by telephone or at home. You don't think that's a red flag issue??

I feel like my concerns aren't being taken into account. They're concerned bout your child.

MuppetBabi · 19/08/2020 17:56

I'm an ex head teacher and now work for a local authority education team. No contact via phone or door step visit would really worry me and I would report it to social services

tootiredtothinkofanewname · 19/08/2020 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Itsjustabitofbanter · 19/08/2020 17:57

An email isn’t enough at this stage op. You can give all the reasons in the world. The fact remains that your children now legally need to be in school, and they haven’t actually been seen by the teachers since March. Your options education wise will presumably be to allow your children to go, or apply to deregister them. Welfare wise, I think you’ve made it escalate to the point where they’re going to actually have to be seen by the school or some authority

Original poster
clapshot · 19/08/2020 17:58

@Piggywaspushed

It wasn't a woman, it was a man. A man I've never met before.

I was on a work call, MIL never answers door, DP (their father) at work.

I never answer the door or the phone unless I'm expecting someone. I just don't. Maybe it's from years ago experiencing domestic abuse - he'd turn up at all hours. Also living right on a pavement. And debt calls. I just don't do it. My neighbours thought it weird at first but they are used to it now. I guess this is an unprecedented situation though.

OP posts:
FelicityPike · 19/08/2020 17:58

@MuppetBabi

I'm an ex head teacher and now work for a local authority education team. No contact via phone or door step visit would really worry me and I would report it to social services
Us too to be honest.
Howallergic · 19/08/2020 17:59

Just try to shield the MIL from the dc and send them back to school. It's in nobody's best interests for them to be off school.

spanieleyes · 19/08/2020 18:00

And we do a home visit rather than writing as by now it is a safeguarding issue and writing is not sufficient to ensure a child is safe and well.

angelfishrock · 19/08/2020 18:01

when did you apply for permission to homeschool?

Piggywaspushed · 19/08/2020 18:01

OK, apologies . I still don't think job titles should be put in speech marks, although to be honest the sneering at the role didn't come so much from you as other posters.

Just email them OP. It's going to play on your mind.

Sirzy · 19/08/2020 18:01

So from their POV they can probably tell their are people in the house yet calls and visits are being ignored

age of the child isn’t relative really. Surely you can see why that raises alarm bells?

You can’t just tell school “they will be back when I am ready” and then hide from them!

SleepingStandingUp · 19/08/2020 18:02

All this contact with them is new to me.
Yes because you've chosen to not send them to school

Witchcraftandhokum · 19/08/2020 18:03

I understand your anxieties with regards to sending them back, I'm a teacher in England and worried about going back.next week. The problem is that until they are deregistered your children remain on the school roll and therefore their safeguarding is the schools responsibility. When abuse is happening in a home often the first sign in children being kept off school. You have to understand that the children not returning to school, no phone calls being answered and an unsuccessful home visit will raise a lot of red flags. Give them a call tomorrow, explain you were working and have a discussion about your next steps.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 19/08/2020 18:03

So schools don't send letters any more? Or emails? At the very least in the short initial reply they should have said they might phone so please accept a call from an unrecognised number. How is it reasonable to expect the OP to drop everything for an unannounced visit in the middle of a working day?

LilQueenie · 19/08/2020 18:04

You can take your child out temporarily and educate them at home during covid but you need to keep in contact with the school to do so. Its only if you were going to home educate for a longer period that you need to deregister them.

Sirzy · 19/08/2020 18:04

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

So schools don't send letters any more? Or emails? At the very least in the short initial reply they should have said they might phone so please accept a call from an unrecognised number. How is it reasonable to expect the OP to drop everything for an unannounced visit in the middle of a working day?
Well if a parent is that busy working they are also too busy to be trying to home Ed aren’t they!
Misknit · 19/08/2020 18:05

The school is responsible for safeguarding the students especially now they should be back in school. They need to check they are OK and will have to really make an assessment by seeing the children. You only need to look at the case of the 14 year old in Stoke on Trent to realise this is are necessary.

If I had visited and got no answer, I would be discussing with our police liaison for a welfare check as a next step.

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