School 'Social Justice manager' knocking on my door. Confused. Why ??

[clapshot]

I'm in Scotland. So this is the second week of schools being back.

We (me and DC and P) stay with MIL, DC Grandmother. She had part of a lung removed in early March for lung cancer. Multidisciplinary team are considering radiotherapy. She also has heart problems. Still in her 60s.

I'm extremely wary of sending DC back to school, so I didn't. I emailed their schools, which was received as I got a reply from both, the high school one saying they'll be in contact.

I've had a couple of phone calls from a withheld number yesterday and today but I'm WFH so was busy.

Door knocked earlier, was working so didn't answer. Again just now. I don't usually answer unless I'm expecting someone (door faces onto street and get a lot of sellers and religion people).

Looked out the window as they were leaving and my eldest DC recognised them as the Social Justice manager of their school.

What is this all about ??

Am I in some kind of trouble ??

Why would a school do this ??

I'm going to phone them up tomorrow but just wondered why they would be knocking my door ??

I don't understand why WFH prevents you answering the phone or a knock at the door ?

Even more odd is the fact that you're asking on here why they'd be coming round when they told you they'd be in contact !!

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

As for why the OP didn't answer the door, she is working. How difficult is this to understand? Many people who are at home at the moment are wfh. Send an email to make an appointment, surely. Lots of people don't answer the phone to an unknown number, thanks to endless spammers.

I’ve worked at home (Not self employed) for over 15 years, and I still manage to answer the door to the postie or the Amazon man or the neighbours.

I answer the phone to any unknown number once, and if it’s spam I then block them. My doctor’s surgery recently changed the number they call from. If I hadn’t answered this unknown number I wouldn’t have had my blood test results. None of this takes more than a few seconds to deal with!

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g no one is going to make an announced visit or appointment at this stage. After failed calls and visits, it will be a safeguarding concern and its ops responsibility to make themselves available.

@clapshot It would escalate here too, straight to a multi disciplinary meeting and joint visit with police and ss. Ridiculous outcome, as you could have had a conversation with the school and nipped it in the bud.

These are genuine questions, not snark, but...
How long do you intend to keep the DCs at home? Given infection rates in Scotland are currently very low, will probably go up at least somewhat rather than down and a vaccine may be six months off at the very least, it may be quite a while if you're not willing to send them at the moment. So you will need to degregister I'd imagine.
Also what is your longterm plan for educating them & giving them opportunities to socialise outside the immediate family? They'll need to keep pace with the school curriculum, for their own sakes & so they can rejoin the school system easily at some point.

Again this isn't having a go. These are presumably the questions your school welfare team will want answers to. I'd be more worried if they weren't getting in touch

This is the problem with schools reopening and kids being required to go. Grandparents are chucked on the fire. I am aware kids need education, but this is a very difficult situation for many. Educate your kid and potentially kill the grandparents off.

They said they would make contact, you then ignored their calls and knock on the door, even after DC recognised them.

YABU

You can’t just decide you’re not going to send your children to school indefinitely. I understand your concern, but you need to at least engage with the school or if not then deregister and home educate DC.

They will continue knocking because they they have a duty to ensure that your dc are safe. If you don’t want it happening and you still want your children at home, then deregister them.

And talk to the people that are calling you!

As for why the OP didn't answer the door, she is working. How difficult is this to understand?

And yet OP "Looked out the window as they were leaving"

For fuck sake, the judgement!!

Yes we live with MIL and don't just have the funds for any of us to move out. Stay does often mean live in Scotland.

She has lung cancer, part of a lung, and heart issues. COVID would very likely kill her, when the surgery was curative and she's still in her 60s.

I didn't just send a brief email, I sent a long and detailed email regarding our circumstances, along with a request to prospone DC going back for 4 weeks, and a plan of how I plan to home educate.

DC is 15. I very much doubt that starvation is a genuine worry in this case.

I just wanted to know why they would come to my door, and what a 'social justice manager' does ??

I do suffer from anxiety from domestic abuse years ago, that's another reason why I don't answer the door. I'm really awkward dealing with people I don't know in person, which is why I originally moved to WFH before the pandemic.

Hang on, is is now illegal for children in Scotland to be off school in cases such as the OP? (I'm not in Scotland any more, just wondering what the situation is there)

So how are you managing to educate your children for the next four weeks and realistically, what is going to change in that time?

And why couldn’t your 15 year old have answered the door?

As for why the OP didn't answer the door, she is working. How difficult is this to understand?

And what stopped the teenagers from answering the door?

I'm afraid you have a responsibility to deal with the authorities because you are a parent, so someone in your household is going to have to start answering the phone and/or door.

I'd phone the school and ask what they want.

@PickwickThePlockingDodo

Pick up your phone and answer the door, for goodness sake, then you might know.

This!!

So your child told you who it was.
You still didn’t answer the door.
You come to an Internet forum of strangers to ask why they came to your door.

Ffs I hope you’re not home educating your children.

I completely understand your unease at sending your children back to school, it looks like there will definitely be a second wave and just because shielding has been lifted for now it doesn't stop your MIL from being vulnerable.

How old is your secondary school child? What are your plans for educating them?

Did the school get back to you about your email? It may not have been passed on to the right person. Staff in the schools are run ragged at the moment. I suspect the person dealing with absences hadn't been told of the circumstances and there has been crossed wires. That's why they phoned you and them someone turned up. Better safe than sorry . Just give them a phone

Why couldn't your 15 year old answer the door? And one day after sending the school a detailed plan of how you are going to home educate, you are apparently too busy to answer the phone or door, what do you think the school are going to think in these circumstances? Like others, I don't understand why if you and your child saw people leaving your door you didn't then call out to them. If they have noticed you looking out at them, what do you think they are now thinking?

Wasn't it in news a few yrs ago, about how Scottish govt gave selves to be very interfering in lives of school age people? I don't live there, but recall some news about that.

@Nicknacky

I’m Scottish and I say “stay” meaning to live. For example “I stay over the road from the pub”.

Yep, also Scottish so do the "I stay in the house by the field of cows"..

You don’t get an option to just decide to delay. You either send her or withdraw her and home school. Not answering the phones not answering the door, not sending her to school, it’s not good.

Why couldn’t your child answer the door? She knew who it was, and she’s fifteen.

I guess the issue with four weeks is, what do you think will be different in four weeks? Again that isn't snark, its a genuine question. Scottish infection rates might be still be very low in four weeks, but I can't imagine they'll be lower than they are now? So if you feel now is too high risk, than the next six months will probably be too high risk for you, realistically.

I
Anyway if you poke around on the cases bit of the UK Coronavirus dashboard you can find a really good interactive map which allows you to zoom in to ward level. Might be worth looking up your school's rough catchment area on this before deciding. Confirmed cases will almost certainly be very low, or there may even be none.

Whatever the rights or wrongs, OP, and whatever the personal circumstances which may or may not be relevant, the school and authorities have in front of them a family living with a relative and an email saying the kids aren't going to be coming to school and is that OK.
It is OK, if they're deregistered and you have a home education plan in place. But the paperwork needs to be done and you need to be ready to demonstrate how your children are being educated.

@clapshot it's good that you sent the detailed email. With the history of abuse and your anxiety, it will be a red flag, coupled with it being gcse year for your DS.

If it were me (as a social worker), I would email the school again to let them know that you are aware that the social justice manager has been trying to make contact. Tell the truth about what's occured and give a time tomorrow that you will be available to call or visit, they will need both options open.

Your case sounds genuine from what you say, but don't forget that all children have to be back now, so they are just doing their job. You don't want it to escalate, communicating with school ASAP is key right now.