School 'Social Justice manager' knocking on my door. Confused. Why ??

[clapshot]

I'm in Scotland. So this is the second week of schools being back.

We (me and DC and P) stay with MIL, DC Grandmother. She had part of a lung removed in early March for lung cancer. Multidisciplinary team are considering radiotherapy. She also has heart problems. Still in her 60s.

I'm extremely wary of sending DC back to school, so I didn't. I emailed their schools, which was received as I got a reply from both, the high school one saying they'll be in contact.

I've had a couple of phone calls from a withheld number yesterday and today but I'm WFH so was busy.

Door knocked earlier, was working so didn't answer. Again just now. I don't usually answer unless I'm expecting someone (door faces onto street and get a lot of sellers and religion people).

Looked out the window as they were leaving and my eldest DC recognised them as the Social Justice manager of their school.

What is this all about ??

Am I in some kind of trouble ??

Why would a school do this ??

I'm going to phone them up tomorrow but just wondered why they would be knocking my door ??

@clapshot

Have you thought of sending your children to school. You working at home and MIL for the moment not using the parts of the house used by children/you - eg similar to those isolating from others - using her room etc and you taking meals to her and leaving at the door?

That way children who have been off school for months can benefit from school. You can WFH without also having to home educate all your children and MIL is safe.

That way the children are giving up their education/social interaction with peers etc and your MIL is still safe.

I really want to be a Social Justice warrior Manager.

@MintChocAddict I’m not saying that there isn’t a member of staff who deals with student social welfare. It’s just not called a “Social Justice Manager”. If you search for the phrase, the only result is for this thread. The kid in this case got the title of the staff member wrong, or OP is using this phrase in particular to cause a bit of froth in her defence, or this is some sort of weird troll trying to rile people up against schools by using “social justice”, a specific phrase that upsets people who think the poor all deserve to starve and who are probably a bit racist.

Strangely, there are posters on this thread who have worked with these officers.

*You say:
They are not cooped up like battery hens. We do many (outdoor) activities.

Then go on to say:
Not everyone's teenagers want to be out roaming the streets.*

I understand that to mean they're not cooped up but don't want to be roaming around in gangs the way some teenagers do. You're over reaching to make a point for some very strange agenda of your own.

The other points also aren't contradictory as such, you just need more info. Which I hope she doesn't feel obliged to give you.

OP, it's a new day and hopefully you've already contacted the school and made an arrangement for further action.
If not, you can do it. And you'll feel so much better when you have.

OP, you are skirting around the fact that homeschooling consisting of books and internet is not adequate education for a 15 year old.

Very much depends on the book, the online schooling and the child. I strongly suspect you don't have first hand knowledge of using some 'internet' for home ed.

Yes there have been small spikes in recent weeks but the number of new hospital admissions have been exceptionally low since mid-June.

You either don't know what you're talking about or you're glossing the truth. Where we are, the R number is going up like a rocket, very sadly. Looking at what the scientists and doctors are saying, the OP is taking a reasonable position.

@ekidmxcl

"This is the problem with schools reopening and kids being required to go. Grandparents are chucked on the fire. I am aware kids need education, but this is a very difficult situation for many. Educate your kid and potentially kill the grandparents off"
My children always come before their grandparents

@clapshot
"I guess I just never realised before how little agency I have in my own Children's lives. I wouldn't have thought that since I sent an email, a teenager with no previous social work involvement or concerns would be such a concern to them so quickly."
You are lucky that you live in a country which priorities children's welfare.
I work in child protection and most parents whose children are on child protection plans have parents who constantly put theirs or other people's needs above their children also having anxiety does make your children more vulnerable parents with mental health issues are often given help by Health visitors, school nurses and social workers because they often lack insight on how their illness effects their children.

@clapshot
They've been in contact with their friends via whatever they do on phones the whole time. I did wonder why they didn't ask their friends as they'd heard from them.
Seriously?

@Lightsonnobodyshome

Yes there have been small spikes in recent weeks but the number of new hospital admissions have been exceptionally low since mid-June.

You either don't know what you're talking about or you're glossing the truth. Where we are, the R number is going up like a rocket, very sadly. Looking at what the scientists and doctors are saying, the OP is taking a reasonable position.

You obviously didn’t read my whole post because if you did you’d see I’d said if I was in OP position I’d feel similar.

I’m in an area where our mayor is fighting not to have the area closed down. However I can link to the NHS site which clearly shows hospital admissions are at an all time low and are not rising - across England if you like?

@clapshot

Their school is oversubscribed and they likely wouldn't get back in. We struggle and pay a high rent so they can go to a decent school. I do value it, but I also value health.
So you want to stop another child whose parents value education to from being enrolled in a good school.
You seem incredibly selfish

@Lightsonnobodyshome

As a teaching assistant, I've seen plenty of kids entering schools over the years and being behind and struggling due to not being homeschooled the right way. I've got friends who are ex teachers who have home schooled their kids so I know that there is more to it than just buying a pile of text books and finding some online stuff and leaving them to get on with it. Especially at 15, which is an important school year.

You either don't know what you're talking about or you're glossing the truth.

Neither.

www.travellingtabby.com/scotland-coronavirus-tracker/

Clearly shows the figures. Hospital admissions where the OP and I live - Scotland - are way, way down. Currently on a 7 day rolling average at around 1 or 2 a day. Down from 8.6 at the start of June , 55 at the beginning of May and 170 a day at the start of April.

Testing is up, at the beginning of April Scotland was testing about 850 people a day. That's up to 5,400 tests yesterday. Of course we're detecting all those mild or unsymptomatic cases which went undetected in March/April.

Which is why hospital admissions is an important measure as it's not dependent on how many tests are done.

- I understand where you're coming from. I'm in my 30s and everyone I know would ignore a call from withheld. It's perfectly normal to not open the door to if you're not expecting anyone. Only on MN is that touted as being really bizarre.

Why? The only people in my experience who call on withheld numbers are the calls you should answer unless you have something to hide/avoid? The LA, the school, the GP surgery etc. I'm far more wary of unknown mobile numbers.

As for not answering the door, I have ptsd from being violently attacked at home by someone I opened the door to, I still manage to do so because I need to set an example of "normal" behaviour for my children.

Today 09:18lookatallthosechickens

@MintChocAddict I’m not saying that there isn’t a member of staff who deals with student social welfare. It’s just not called a “Social Justice Manager”. If you search for the phrase, the only result is for this thread. The kid in this case got the title of the staff member wrong, or OP is using this phrase in particular to cause a bit of froth in her defence, or this is some sort of weird troll trying to rile people up against schools by using “social justice”, a specific phrase that upsets people who think the poor all deserve to starve and who are probably a bit racist.

No, we're not making it up. They really do exist in some Council areas in Scotland and that is in fact their job title

I've worked with them as has another PP on this thread, but you obviously know better so carry on with your insistence that we're making it up (I must have imagined those meetings)

I just feel a bit mistrusted / hounded. This is an unprecedented situation for all of us and some of us have vulnerable family members. I think it's too much of a one size fits all approach. And the home visit did freak me out a bit tbh.

There is a recurring theme in your posts, it's all about how the schools response to the situation has made you feel. Your anxieties, your lived experience, your "agency" as a parent. But in the nicest possible way, it's not about you. The first rule of Safeguarding is that the welfare of the child is paramount, always. No exceptions. The school aren't "hounding" you because they don't trust you as an individual, they have a statutory responsibility to check on your child. They have a statutory responsibility to check on all children in these circumstances, so that's what they're doing. Frankly, I would rather a hundred parents are temporarily "freaked out" over a home visit that turns out to have been unecessary than one case of abuse, neglect or exploitation go unidentified and not acted upon.

You have no evidence that the school operate a "one size fits all approach" to managing parental anxieties about covid or attendance as you haven't even heard them out! But the reality is that refusing to send your child into school for a month and then refusing to communicate with them about it would raise red flags in any school.

I've contacted the school. Going to arrange for them to see DC. Yes they said they did have to see them.

Haven't discussed the school or not to school yet, but will. We will have to all sit down as a family and discuss it in depth.

I can see now that they have procedures to follow etc, I suppose I was just a bit taken aback at first by the contacting my parents and calls at the door. I understand now.

I refuse to accept the criticism that I'm somehow a terrible parent for having serious misgivings about sending them in during a global pandemic when we have such a vulnerable family member and there are many school outbreaks here already. Or for wanting to keep places open if at all possible. I'm aware home schooling wouldn't be the ideal, but I'd try my best, and it's my view that education can be caught up on, many have a gap year after all, but health can't. That's my view.

I shouldn't have posted. The scrutiny surrounding completely unrelated things. Apparently I don't set an example of "normal" behaviour for my children because I don't answer the door if I don't know who it is. Bullshit. I know lots of people who don't. I've never made a deal of it to the children or anything. If someone wants something they will leave a voicemail or drop a note through the door. It's not a huge deal. Thanks for the shaming though, it doesn't make it ok because you are a fellow ptsd sufferer, and it's not relevant.

The equally irrelevant free school meals comment. That stung.

I have contacted them and will liaise with them now. I was wrong and sticking-my-head-in-the-sand-to-avoid-decision-and-social-anxiety not to.

Can we leave it there please??!!

It's all very well not answering the phone if you are not expecting a call, but really... you WERE expecting a call, weren't you?

The school said they'd be in touch...

For fuck sake, I'm not making it about me me me at all!! I'm worried about the risks of COVID to my family. I've no risk factors.

I was taken aback at first cause I've never had any contact with them before. My DC had good attendance prior, good grades and behaviour, and I don't do PTA type stuff or social stuff.

I suppose I was overthinking and felt like they were judging us. Or were going to pressurise us because of some line they've been told to follow, or targets.

I get it now that they are just following procedures they need to follow for the safeguarding of even older children. I feel bad that I let my anxiety get in the way of it for a bit. I feel sorry for the school they are obviously busy and they shouldn't have to chase me.

I always manage to overcome the anxiety for the DC sake. For example I get anxious when they go on school trips, but I'd never hold them back.

I was just having a wobble.

Thanks for the shaming though, it doesn't make it ok because you are a fellow ptsd sufferer, and it's not relevant.

Since that was obviously to me it wasn't meant to be shaming, in fact it wasn't even to you but the person I was replying to. It's how I feel, you obviously disagree. I put "normal" because I don't know a single person in real life who doesn't automatically answer the door if the doorbell rings. However I had a mother with a lot of mental health issues and my psychiatrist believes her frankly odd behaviour/attitude to life during my childhood predisposed to me being diagnosed with ptsd when faced with trauma. Thus I'm terrified of doing the same to my children.

@differentnameforthis

I presumed they meant they would be in touch by email, since I asked them to contact me via email.

By expecting a call I meant like an appointment. For example when we were on universal credit (the horror of it!! free school meals and UC!!) a couple years ago, they call from withheld so you get an appointment time to answer.

I'm pleased you're feeling a bit more reassured regarding the schools contact.

I've not suffered with anxiety, but sympathise that it affects you. And I've no doubt that you do everything you can to prevent your anxiety from affecting the DC, but I'm sure you agree that they must be impacted by it?

All I will say is that I hope you are able to discuss and debate the issues surrounding your DCs' schooling with your family as well as the education authorities. Of course the risk of Covid to your MIL is priority, but so is the DCs' education. Particularly for your eldest who is in a crucial school year.

Unfortunately, you're going to need to find a way to balance the priorities rather than sacrificing one of them.

They should have explained that email is not sufficient and they would need to speak/see you (and DC). Anyone can be behind an email.