School 'Social Justice manager' knocking on my door. Confused. Why ??

[clapshot]

I'm in Scotland. So this is the second week of schools being back.

We (me and DC and P) stay with MIL, DC Grandmother. She had part of a lung removed in early March for lung cancer. Multidisciplinary team are considering radiotherapy. She also has heart problems. Still in her 60s.

I'm extremely wary of sending DC back to school, so I didn't. I emailed their schools, which was received as I got a reply from both, the high school one saying they'll be in contact.

I've had a couple of phone calls from a withheld number yesterday and today but I'm WFH so was busy.

Door knocked earlier, was working so didn't answer. Again just now. I don't usually answer unless I'm expecting someone (door faces onto street and get a lot of sellers and religion people).

Looked out the window as they were leaving and my eldest DC recognised them as the Social Justice manager of their school.

What is this all about ??

Am I in some kind of trouble ??

Why would a school do this ??

I'm going to phone them up tomorrow but just wondered why they would be knocking my door ??

Parents in this position are obviously going through hell - they don't need to be treated with suspicion and jumped on.

Tbf the duty of care is towards the child, whilst heavy handedness is never recommended overall they will act in the best interests of the child not the parents.

Acting in the best interests of the parents is how we know about Daniel Pelka, Peter Connelly and Victoria Climbié.

Hell is putting it mildly. I've not slept properly in three weeks. I have never been this scared before. Trying to weigh up the risks of everything, scared I won't survive the Winter but not wanting to deprive my children of an education either. Seeing the way OP has been jumped on makes me feel sick. Maybe she could have been a little better about communicating but she has clearly explained what her reasons were.
Lots of these school threads almost cross in to Ableism to be honest.

@Beebityboo

I feel exactly the Same.

I don't have the ability to homeschool 3 children between 7 and 14. 2 are vulnerable, i am extremely vulnerable. Ex is an abuser. Trying to sort out who is going to have the kids if the worst does happen.

Kids have to go back.

The bullying on this thread is vile. You definitely need to get back to work too long without be required to behave in socially acceptable manner.

I agree with this, it’s been horrible. I don’t agree with how the OP has handled this, but the anxiety she’s feeling isn’t irrational at all. Her MIL really is very vulnerable. My DH and I both have vulnerabilities (nowhere near the level of the her MIL), my DH has asthma and I have long-term COVID. We did send our DDs (11 and 8) back to school in June and they will be going in September.

You will need to engage properly with the school or they will have concerns. They’ll want to know what education your DS is having as he has exams this coming year.

It's not a certainty they'd get it, but what do you think the chances of someone in their 60s, just recovered from surgery to remove half a lung, cancer, and heart problems, would get over COVID??

A lot higher than you think.

This isnt just about Covid - please with compromised immunity including cancer have had to "shield" before most of us even knew what the word was .

People undergoing radiotherapy/ chemotherapy have to shield because they are so immune compromised a simple infection could kill them.

My mum was very close to needing chemotherapy- she's already had a bad dose of covid but would have had to shielded anyway.

23:06lookatallthosechickens

There’s no such thing as a ‘social justice manager’, it will be a student welfare officer or manager or perhaps a social worker connected to the school in some way.

Yes there is such a job actually in some council areas and it's been around for a while. As a PP said they are sometimes from a Social Work / Youth Work type background and their role us to engage with pupils and families to help young people who may have barriers to achieve best outcomes. It's about encouraging inclusion and equity of experience.

"Social equity is concerned with justice and fairness of social policy. Since the 1960s, the concept of social equity has been used in a variety of institutional contexts, including education and public administration."

Honestly not new or particularly jumped up. Just a description of what they do.

《Waves to the other Mintchoc person on the thread》
You have good taste in chocolate

Wtf is this weird mn trend of not answering the phone or the door?

I mean not even going to look who's there?

Statisticaly very high

I wouldn't be overly concerned about this OP. The school have a responsibility to make sure the kids are safe and being educated. All they've really had from you is an email. They probably want to chat with you at home to check everything is ok and that you have a decent handle on the homeschooling.

But you need to answer the door/phone to them. Otherwise you are potentially going to create a huge issue out of nothing. They will get suspicious of you and think something is wrong and escalate everything. Just be contactable to them and it should be fine.

Maybe she could have been a little better about communicating

Well yes, that's the issue. As soon as OP contacts them I'm sure it'll be fine, but the school is probably concerned as there has been no answer on phone or the door.

@ZoeTurtle

Having a partner who works out of the home weakens your case a little...

This.

I would like the option to homeschool for a while, without losing their place. That would be the best option for our family.

It's going to be a while and another child could use that place.

OP I'll admit I'm a bit confused about your conflicting posts.

You say:
^We (me and DC and P) stay with MIL, DC Grandmother.
Yes we live with MIL and don't just have the funds for any of us to move out.^

But then go on to say:
^We struggle and pay a high rent so they can go to a decent school.
I think I spoke to this guy once previously when I was having trouble getting free school meals because the council didn't recognise my ID.^

You say:
^I do suffer from anxiety from domestic abuse years ago
The school know nothing about the domestic abuse (I left when DC was weeks old and he's long gone, no contact). They also know nothing about my anxiety.^

Then go on to say:
^DP (their father) at work.
DP is the father!!^

You say:
They are not cooped up like battery hens. We do many (outdoor) activities.

Then go on to say:
Not everyone's teenagers want to be out roaming the streets.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think you were changing the narrative to suit.

You need to ring the school first thing, not email them.
I don't think you're understanding the seriousness.

OP said her eldest was 6 months old when she escaped from the abusive relationship. Her youngest is her partner's biological child (presumably).

The truancy officer or the fancy name for that on the thread will want to protect the children and their education. They are going to have to go back to school or else lose their school place and have to be educated at home. The English system will not work if we let parents suspend a place even due to covid 19 and even with needing smaller class sizes as schools are so crammed. We have 16m people in the UK more than when I was born.

Can you please stop saying you're being "hounded"

The school has only had one email from you. You've not picked up the phone. They're not hounding you at all and have a duty of care towards yours DC.

Perhaps if you liase with the school they will be able to support you and your children with learning at home until you feel confident in them returning to school.

Also OP I think you're underestimating what your 15 year old will be able to achieve at home. Most kids just starting S4 are doing 7 subjects to Nat 5 - can you honestly say that between the adults in the house you are totally on top of everything she's studying? Because I can't with my DD. I can help her with her English, French, bit of maths, Geography. Lost with Biology and Physics - never studied it myself. Yes you can get yourself up to the level with reading and websites but it all takes time - which I don't have as I'm trying to work from home full time too. You can't replicate the level of knowledge of a secondary school teacher with a degree in the subject concerned and teacher training too.

The point about how long you expect this to go on for are valid too. Numbers in Scotland are way, way down.

www.travellingtabby.com/scotland-coronavirus-tracker/

Yes there have been small spikes in recent weeks but the number of new hospital admissions have been exceptionally low since mid-June. That site I linked to above lets you look at the breakdown of stats of rates by councl area over time and will let you see what the "risk" is in your area. It tells me that in my area, there has only been 3 cases detected in the last week.

Covid isn't going away and we all need to learn to live with it just as we live with lots of other illnesses and viruses.

I understand you are anxious about a vulnerable member of your family, about your children, about communicating. I would be very nervous about an unknown man at the door, given your situation.
However, instead of “ hounding” you, I think the Social Worker ( or whatever they are called) is there to protect your children and might actually be able to offer extra help with home education - listen to your concerns, offer extra/ other work and projects your kids could do online/ irl while you are trying to work, perhaps online one t one with teacher? They could be trying to help rather than hound.

I have been I guess dismissive of the COVID risk to most and passionate about schools returning. But I'm horrified at this thread.

It's a stark reminder that Mumsnet isn't real life and everything gets amplified and exaggerated by the hive mind.

OP - I understand where you're coming from. I'm in my 30s and everyone I know would ignore a call from withheld. It's perfectly normal to not open the door to if you're not expecting anyone. Only on MN is that touted as being really bizarre.

It must be daunting to see how quickly this has escalated, especially if you've read the countless threads on here from people saying they are going to not send their kids in. I'm sure that a call and perhaps a meeting with the school people will resolve it.

I do think you should look to send them back, because nothing will change in a month and it's an important year for a 15 year old. I think in this scenario I would treat it how people working in lockdown with a shielded person at home did, if you feel your MIL needs protection. What I mean by that, is she stays in her room and avoids contact with the teens. Whilst that would be horrible for her, it makes sense for her to make that sacrifice and not the children who are currently being stopped from living their normal lives.

The levels of infection are so low (I'm in Wales so more similar numbers / approach to Scotland) I think it is safe for your MIL to start living more of a normal life and certainly the children to go and enjoy school. But I can understand how scary it must be to make that jump having shielded her for all these months.

To the PP who commented on her partner working out the house, she said he's a gardener. So not comparable to the number of people the teens will come into contact with in school.

Nice to see that you’re happy to have free school dinners though - no problem with government institutions when it comes to that!

No words for this. Well one springs to mind but I don't want to get my post deleted.

OP, you are skirting around the fact that homeschooling consisting of books and internet is not adequate education for a 15 year old. They need specialised, trained teachers in each of their subjects and access to school resources. Also, do you have a good understanding of the curriculum? What topics need to be learnt for each subject? What exam boards want?

Are you sure that your child is concentrating fully when you are not watching? My younger siblings would work hard on the homeschooling work if either me or my mum were standing over them supervising. If we turned our backs, they'd be half concentrating on their work, half on their phones.

Also OP I think you're underestimating what your 15 year old will be able to achieve at home.

Overestimating. Obviously.

Firstly, you are not home educating... This is not home schooling.

Secondly. If your social anxiety is so bad you can't adequately communicate with school (and others I presume), then your GP should be concerned and your DP should be as a school contact then. Why would you put an adult who doesn't answer phone and door as a main contact? Your DP is a gardener, he can have a phone on him.

You need to understand that this is nothing against you personally. The school checks for the good of the kids. I am quite surprised the other didn't tbh!