School 'Social Justice manager' knocking on my door. Confused. Why ??

[clapshot]

I'm in Scotland. So this is the second week of schools being back.

We (me and DC and P) stay with MIL, DC Grandmother. She had part of a lung removed in early March for lung cancer. Multidisciplinary team are considering radiotherapy. She also has heart problems. Still in her 60s.

I'm extremely wary of sending DC back to school, so I didn't. I emailed their schools, which was received as I got a reply from both, the high school one saying they'll be in contact.

I've had a couple of phone calls from a withheld number yesterday and today but I'm WFH so was busy.

Door knocked earlier, was working so didn't answer. Again just now. I don't usually answer unless I'm expecting someone (door faces onto street and get a lot of sellers and religion people).

Looked out the window as they were leaving and my eldest DC recognised them as the Social Justice manager of their school.

What is this all about ??

Am I in some kind of trouble ??

Why would a school do this ??

I'm going to phone them up tomorrow but just wondered why they would be knocking my door ??

You only mentioned them seeing cousins, at a distance.

Just let your kids go back to school or homeschool them properly. If you are too busy at work and your partner is working then they are not being educated. Don’t do that to them because you feel anxious.

They will know how anxious you, don’t pass that to them.

@Orchidsindoors

"If you don't want your children to attend you need to deregister them otherwise the school will pursue the absence."

Wow that's a massive jump. Firstly shes Scotland. Do they even fine in Scotland? They dont in Wales, so dont think you can jump to telling her to deregister.

No, we don’t do fines.

"21:30FelicityPike

Orchidsindoors

"If you don't want your children to attend you need to deregister them otherwise the school will pursue the absence."

Wow that's a massive jump. Firstly shes Scotland. Do they even fine in Scotland? They dont in Wales, so dont think you can jump to telling her to deregister."

"No, we don’t do fines."

So mlno need for people to jump to the "you've got to deregister" quote. It really annoys me when people jump to that.

I see right through your attitude with your free school meals bashing

They weren't bashing you for getting free school meals though, they were pointing out that earlier you were complaining about the school "hounding" you and moaning about it, yet you were happy to get help in the form of free school meals. Which pretty much sums up your attitude in general on this thread, you're happy to pick and choose what you want but don't want to follow the rules of the system that helped you when you needed it.

That's really disgusting to stereotype people who need to claim free school meals

They're not stereotyping though, they're talking about the OP specifically. And they've summed up her attitudes pretty well. The same system that provided those free meals is doing their job in safeguarding her child. Which she regards as them interfering.

I would like the option to homeschool for a while, without losing their place. That would be the best option for our family.

I don't get what is so wrong with that.

What's wrong is that there are other people on the waiting list for the over-subscribed school who have to wait whilst you swither; that is not the best option for them and their families, and they have needs, too.

Secondly the school can't do that, hold a place (or two) until the parent feels like sending in the pupil. They receive funding based on how many children are present in school - pupil places; they even receive extra funding for particular pupils, such as those with special needs like dyslexia or ADHD; and may have someone on the waiting list who would be best being accommodated in a school setting. I had this with one of mine at primary level; had to wait for a school place and he was educated at home via a council tutor until one became available (I had another who had to be educated by a tutor in a different council due to needing vital medical treatment would could only be had in another area, and her school place was able to be retained but it was only due to a very serious medical crisis and no way for the child to receive it except there).

It's not as easy as 'I want this so should get it'. The school has many families with different needs they need to balance.

"What's wrong is that there are other people on the waiting list for the over-subscribed school who have to wait whilst you swither; that is not the best option for them and their families, and they have needs, too."

Do we know if this is an over subscribed school? And..surely those children that you say are on the waiting list, will be at a school somewhere else, so have a place? They wont all be at home with no place. Her child got the place, its hers. Noone else is begging for it.

@Orchidsindoors

"What's wrong is that there are other people on the waiting list for the over-subscribed school who have to wait whilst you swither; that is not the best option for them and their families, and they have needs, too."

Do we know if this is an over subscribed school? And..surely those children that you say are on the waiting list, will be at a school somewhere else, so have a place? They wont all be at home with no place. Her child got the place, its hers. Noone else is begging for it.

The OP herself said it was an over subscribed school in one of her posts.

The main issue is in exam years you can’t just take a child out of school for an indefinite amount of time and expect them to get on with it alone. That’s not homeschooling and it’s not going to set up a young person for exam success.

@clapshot
Where did the OP say she gets free school meals?

OP has said it's over subscribed.

@clapshot I know this is tough and you're juggling different priorities but the school will have a safeguarding procedure to follow regarding pupil absence. They aren't hounding you or casting judgement on your parenting but they do need to speak to you and possibly also to your child to check that they're safe and well. It will be a standard school procedure, nothing personal.

Speak to them as you plan and see what they say - they might be able to make some temporary allowances if you can assure them that you are effectively educating your child. But also if your DS is 15, he'll be prepping for standard grades (I think) pretty soon and unless you're up to speed with course content and teaching, I'm not sure that you can realistically expect him to teach himself.

Is it really that crazy to not want to send your children in to packed classrooms during a pandemic? I don't understand why those of us who are nervous about this are so vilified by some on here. I think it's a perfectly rational feeling in a totally unprecedented situation.
Hope you get it sorted OP.

Home schooling isn't just letting a teenager self study at home. Can you see the concern that will arise where you've said you didn't answer the phone because you were WFH? It sounds as though you're too busy to answer the phone which doesn't strike much confidence that you are doing any homeschooling.
Quite rightly the school need to verify whats going on. In our district if we weren't answering multiple calls, were avoiding answering the door (which they will realise if you've told them you're effectively shielding at home) we would have social services contacted for a welfare check. You may know your own child but from a schools perspective a lot of them see this when girls are send for arranged marriages, FGM, teens who are hiding a pregnancy until they give birth etc. It isn't that they're hounding you specifically, these are the same steps they would follow if this was the case in any other family too. They have to, steps like this save vulnerable children.

Do we know if this is an over subscribed school? And..surely those children that you say are on the waiting list, will be at a school somewhere else, so have a place? They wont all be at home with no place. Her child got the place, its hers. Noone else is begging for it.

It is the council's to allocate, the OP said the school is over-subscribed, and no, some will not be at school somewhere else, or some will be in another the school and the council is spending money to lay on transport for that pupil due to their having to travel to it when if they were at their catchment school, they won't need to go to that expense.

Of course I’m not bashing people who get free school meals. I had them throughout my childhood! I’m just pointing out the fact that OP wants to pick and choose which parts of the system she wants to use, and that isn’t fair or right. By fannying around with emails, ignoring calls and visits, and acting as if you are in some way superior and special, you’re depriving other kids of a place at the school, and potentially life saving intervention by the pastoral care team.

Plenty of kids live with shielding adults. Of course it’s a difficult situation, and one which you need to talk through with the school. Simply sending them an email saying this is how I’m doing it, then refusing to engage further, is rude and dismissive. It also ignores that fact that if you were abusing your children, that is precisely the approach you would take!

Obviously they are right to follow it up. And your idea that they could ask your DCs mates is laughable.

I would like the option to homeschool for a while, without losing their place. That would be the best option for our family

What is a while??? Covid will be around for a looooong time. You seem to think that home schooling is letting a teen get on with books and the internet. It doesn't work like that. You need to teach DC! Can you do this at high school level?

I really think you need to get your anxiety under control. Lots of people have healthy conditions or family member who do and still send their DC to school. You act as if MIL is the only one who is at risk and as if it is a certainty that she would get it if DC goes to school and die. You need help!

We're not sending our children into school.

Some of the comments on this thread are shocking.

OP, our principal is fully supportive of our decision and advised us to 'stand our ground' when we were contacted by higher powers. That is what we plan to do. You should do the same. This is an unfortunate place to ask for help as it's become a polarised issue. People are horrible. Sometimes.

Agree, if with PP - how would you find the time to homeschool given that you are far too busy with work to even pick up the the phone!

Lights So presumably you are geared up for homeschooling and capable of doing so?

What is a while??? Covid will be around for a looooong time.

This is so short-sighted and disingenuous. We're heading into the flu season with good prospects of a vaccine and high probability of improved treatments after the (probably) harsh experiences this winter will bring our over-worked medics. There is every reason to re-evaluate in late Spring, if you are that way inclined.

@lightsonnobodyshome but you have communicated this with your school, the OP hasn't. That is the difference. She's sent one email (from a safeguarding point of view that could have been sent by anyone) and ignored all calls and follow up visits. The school may agree that the kid(s) can stay home for a while, they may send work home, facilitate learning etc but if the OP doesn't TALK to them, they won't know whats going on.

You were bashing. It was obvious in your tone. Which was picked up by others too. The meals have nothing to do with it, I simply mentioned that that's the only contact I've ever had with this manager. You used it to make a sneering point.

I don't think I'm 'special' ffs !! I am just trying to do what's best for everyone, and it's difficult when you are staying with someone who would die from COVID.

I was probably wrong in being shocked at the visit and them contacting my parents. I've never had much contact with the schools before, and I suppose I just hoped they'd understand the situation when I sent the email. It was in response to an email from them, so the right person definitely got it. I have social anxiety so I suppose I'm (probably unreasonably) peeved at having to speak to or see them when I'm not abusing my DC in any way. From the replies though I can see why they have to follow procedure regarding safeguarding, even for a 15 year old. Still concerned that the vulnerable to covid are just being overlooked, but I suppose the school have to stick to the government line.

Your mum is very lucky to have had the cancer caught so early that it was operable. Most with lung cancer are too late. If I was you I wouldn't be risking it either. Education can happen at any time in life if you're of the nature that wants to learn.
Also with the reports of more schools being affected in Scotland the last day or two, it's looking more likely that not much proper learning will occur this term.

Lights

The head has no concerns.

Many children are successfully home educated by parents who aren't trained educators.

As it happens, I do have training and am very well-placed to educate at my children's level. However, I will also be helped by the school's kindness in including my children in the quarantined packs that will be made available to all parents on a weekly basis. There is also a multitude of genuinely excellent learning apps that inform what we do and highlight areas of weakness. I can easily imagine an engaged, intelligent parent being able to do what I'm doing. I also teach online very successfully so I know it can be done and done well.

As an aside, many parents turn to sources outside school when there are additional needs anyway. They have to find ways to cope because they're given no choice. Feeling like you can't send you child to school to get an education is not a new feeling for many parents. Whether my child was at school or not, I'd still be paying through the nose for specialist interventions.

you have communicated this with your school, the OP hasn't.

The OP did exactly what we did - she sent an email. We expect to be contacted (as she has been) by education authorities and we don't really know what to expect either. It would be extremely helpful if they could make an appointment before calling out so we can make sure we're home!

Lights The op isn’t home schooling, she has bought a few books and is hoeing a family member can help.

And she’s too busy working to help. That’s not homeschooling for at least two children.

Holy fuck, I despair that children are not important to some posters on here. It’s shocking how little their welfare matters.

@angelfishrock

I would like the option to homeschool for a while, without losing their place. That would be the best option for our family

What is a while??? Covid will be around for a looooong time. You seem to think that home schooling is letting a teen get on with books and the internet. It doesn't work like that. You need to teach DC! Can you do this at high school level?

I really think you need to get your anxiety under control. Lots of people have healthy conditions or family member who do and still send their DC to school. You act as if MIL is the only one who is at risk and as if it is a certainty that she would get it if DC goes to school and die. You need help!

I don't "need help" !! How rude !!

It's not a certainty they'd get it, but what do you think the chances of someone in their 60s, just recovered from surgery to remove half a lung, cancer, and heart problems, would get over COVID??