To hate looking young - like a teenager.

[JuliaVerammm]

I am 25 but no way look it.
As in, I could probably pass as 13-15 yr old if you put me in a school uniform.

I am a supply teacher (primary) and I hate my looks. I feel i'm pretty, have a lovely boyfriend so i'm happy. But I feel older ladies often comment on me looking 12, "no way are you a teacher!" ect.

September is looming and it's getting me down that i'm probably going to enter schools and have the "are you old enough to teach this class?" looks again.

I wear blouses, trousers, wedges, heeled shoes but still I can't pass as my own age! I have shoulder length curly hair.

I'm 5'0 and weight 7 stone 7.

Also I just find people can be so rude.
I was sitting in a theatre with a year 1 class I had been teaching for a while.
One of the TAs from another class asked the staff if they wanted a cup of tea. I said yes. When she came back she said out loud "who is the cup of tea for??"
And the male teacher said me, and she said "oh I thought she was one of the children!"

Bear in mind it was only year 1 there and no way do I look like a 5 year old.

Have you thought about cutting your hair shorter, most people seem to think that women with short hair look older.

I feel your pain, I'm 28 and can easily pass for 15/16 if I dress "grown up" I look like a teenager got in their big sisters wardrobe, if I dress down I look 14. I have tried make up, no make up, hair long, hair short, hair up, hair down, fashionable, not fashionable, nothing helps. I have a 3 year old and people either presume I'm a teen mum or worse not her mum. I get id'd without fail everywhere I go. Oh and people always have "helpful" comments like "you'll be thankful when your 50" no, no I fucking won't be thankful I spent over a decade getting treated and spoken to like a teenager. I literally havent aged since I was 15, sometimes I wonder if I should offer myself out for medical testing because I feel like some sort of freaky anti aging phenomenon

So no advice sorry but I completely understand where you are coming from and can offer solidarity.

@JuliaVerammm my hair has gone from boob length to shoulder over lockdown but I feel it made no difference as I am babyfaced and short;
I wouldn't want to go any shorter as I love styling my hair in different ways and I know any shorter would knock my confidence,
I just about like my hair this length but i'm growing it out again

@Pickleypickles so nice to hear from someone similar!
I always joke that i've been cursed with never ageing or that i've clearly had a sip of the fountain of youth.

It's really frustrating!

I was the same and had similar issues being taken seriously in my professional life. Someone thought I was a student when I was head of department. I got snotty comments about teenage mothers when I was actually in my 30s and my DH has been accused of paedophilia more than once. It was very frustrating. Often people just don't think. An acquaintance recently told me that she and her husband had been debating how old I am. If their estimate of my age was correct I would have had to have been one of those child prodigies who went to University when I was about 8 and to have had my eldest child in my teens. But they knew me when my eldest was a baby and I was already in a senior role at work by then, so I would have thought it was obvious that I wasn't a teenager then.
My DD is the same. She's in her 20s now but recently had an assistant run out of the shop in a petrol station to tell her that children aren't allowed to put fuel in cars. She'd driven there, and was the only person in the car but the woman still wouldn't believe her. Fortunately she had her driving licence with her. But then she has been told that that must be fake several times.
I understand how annoying it is, but you will probably be pleased to look younger than your years one day. Now I am definitely middle aged I am quite happy not to look my age.

I couldn't agree more!! I'm 26 and 4"11 and have often had similar comments over the years. I am also in a professional job and feel it can be so undermining when people assume your a teenager. People always think it should be taken as a compliment but it's the not being taken seriously bit that's difficult.

For example when I had just had my son at 25 I got a food shop home delivery and she asked if I was 18 as you need to be 18 to accept the delivery worst part was I think she was younger than me. Also when I returned from maternity leave a client of mines asked if I was 16!

I think it's difficult as it affects your confidence and you feel a bit like an imposter. I think the being short doesn't help. For example I was once out to lunch a few years ago and me and my friends (one who is 4"10 and looks young too and one who is a lot taller and 2 years older) were asked if we needed kids menus. Felt a bit embarrassed for my older friend as they thought she was the adult!

Anyway you just have to ignore those people who treat you like a child and try and get on with things. I think it makes you more determined to show you deserve to be there just as much as anyone else and that you are qualified and not a child! Hopefully when they see how you act and not how you look they will soon realise! X

I feel your pain. I'm 36 but get ID'd for lottery tickets I've had short hair, long hair, medium hair. Red hair, blonde hair, black hair, brown hair, pink hair. Extensions or no extensions.

Business attire or dress down. Makeup no makeup. Heels or flats or runners.

It makes no difference and I'm 5'9". It's annoying, and I want to strangle people who ID me. But mum tells me to enjoy it because before long everyone will think I look like an old hag and I'll yearn for these days. Doesn't make it any easier. If I find anything that works I'll let you know OP!

I feel your pain (or I did, I seem to have aged lately)
I'm 31 and still probably look early 20s but I don't usually get I'd anymore although a couple of years ago I was id for children's scissors which is hilarious thinking about it now.
I really felt shit about looking young when I had children. I had my first at 24 and looked about 14/15, had my second 27 and didn't look much older and I've had some awful comments one of the first was just after I'd delivered my first and a change over of the midwifes, she thought I was 15 and looked at me in disgust (which is horrible what if I had being 15) when I told her my age she was gobsmacked and totally changed how she spoke to me.
I've tried cutting my hair short in the past, dressing different but none of it worked really, I've stopped caring and since then I've not noticed things as much but I Definetly think I've aged over the last two years.

How about considering wearing your hair up, and some very natural but definitely there makeup? I think hair up (tidily) reads as older. I know it’s hard to have a tidy up do with curls - my hair sounds similar to yours - but it’s worth a go to make you feel more confident.

I’d also ditch the heels and wedges, which can look like you’re trying to be taller, and go for classic flats - and classically cut separates which will read older too.

I Completely understand where your coming from. I’m 33 and still get ID for the lottery let alone alcohol. I work part time weekends in retail and the amount of times I’ve been called the ‘young Saturday girl.’ I don’t mind so much now. I just think how I’ll look young when they all look old!

I was exactly the same as you when I was younger I’m 4ft 11 and 7 stones. Now I’m 48 and wrinkly it’s more obvious but even now people mistake me for a child from behind. Only last year I went out with DD, DH and his parents for dinner and they said ‘two kids menus’! While out for a walk with Dd and MIL last week this bloke said ‘ooh your two grandchildren!

Not very helpful I know, but I can sympathise.

I also went to the cinema once with my friend who is a year younger than me, she went in first and they just said ‘follow your Mum’! I think people look at my size rather than what I actually look like.

I just turned thirty-one and literally every time a telemarketer (or whatever) shows up at my house I get asked if my parents are home and it's like idk, they live 400 miles away .... do you want me to call them and check for you or something?

But in all seriousness it's actually kind of nice because if I'm not interested in talking to them (and I'm usually not unless they're selling girl scout cookies or something) I'll just tell them my parents aren't home and then they always go away immediately and leave me alone. 😂

I feel your pain op,
I’m short and have acne so I look quite young. I was in a shop with dd and the shop assistant was saying how she always took her sister out etc... it took me a while to realise she thought dd was my sister not my daughter.
I was also you when I had dd which doesn’t help now she’s nearly a teenager and growing.

Yep me too! Im 5 foot, has this all my life! Although at 37 now the getting id has stopped so I must have aged- im blaming the kids! Years ago at work as a nurse I used to have relatives walk striaght past me to ask someone older a question! & frequently elderly patients used to ask for the 'little girl'

I get you, it's a total pain.

I'm late thirties and people usually think I am a young looking mid-20s, and if they don't know what I do for a living they often think I am in school. I don't have a solution though OP, sorry :(

Try not to take the parents looks to heart. As a parent I've been guilty of thinking the teachers of my children are so young.
It's quite simple, my teachers were older than me; because I was a child at the time.

Now I am old.

That psychological trip gets me every time though.

Well it's great when you're 50 and people think you're 35. It's great for me.

Just enough your life: fags, sun beds, booze, drugs, junk food. You’ll age and be happy all round. You could also dye your hair grey and stain your teeth.

Im pretty certain this is something said to every woman in their 20s

Im 5'7 and I get it. All my colleagues ranging from 20-35 odd get it

I think its partly a confidence thing, the more confident I am the less I get it plus I think people forget how young 20s can look.

I get this too. I’m 23.

Not going to lie, I have a very good job for my age. I’m a financial analyst and well paid. Been able to work from home during lockdown etc.

Recently when I tell people what my job is (whilst I’m not dressed in business attire), they look at me like I’m lying. I say people, but it’s just men. This man the other day asked me how long I had been in my role as I look like I go to college I told him actually I already have my undergrad degree and I’ve been in my role for 2 years. He just couldn’t believe it and it actually offended me. As if a young woman couldn’t have a better paying job than some middle aged man on minimum wage right?

At some point you’ll age. I used to get ID’d all the time, the most memorable being asked for ID when buying a 12 rating DVD in Woolworths when I was early 20s. I was mortified.

I’m a team lead at work and frequently used to get patients asking my colleague (who is exactly the same level as me) for advice. He would say exactly the same thing I’d said, but because he looked older (and was male) people took much more notice of him. What helped me at work was dressing smartly, sensible shoes and becoming more confident in my own abilities. When people see you are confident they are less likely to question your age.

In everyday life, having DC who never bloody sleep, gave me a stressed and haggard look. Shop assistants saw me trying to do the food shop whilst trying to keep a toddler from hurling himself out of the trolley, so gave up asking me for ID - I guess they could see I really needed the wine!

I’m now early 40s, have not dyed my grey hairs, have just had another DC and look permanently harassed, so haven’t been ID’d for ages. I (almost) miss it!

It’s annoying as I still want to dress fashionably (as someone in their early 20s would), but I feel like when I do I get judged for looking like a student etc.

I feel your pain, I am exactly the same. No matter what I wear, how I do my hair or makeup, I never look remotely near my age. I'm 29 but would not look at all out of place in a class of 16 year olds. I absolutely hate it. I hate meeting new people and telling them my age and the inevitable "ooh you dont look 29 at all!"

I'm sure in 20 years time I'll be very smug but for now, I find it pretty humiliating.