To hate looking young - like a teenager.

[JuliaVerammm]

I am 25 but no way look it.
As in, I could probably pass as 13-15 yr old if you put me in a school uniform.

I am a supply teacher (primary) and I hate my looks. I feel i'm pretty, have a lovely boyfriend so i'm happy. But I feel older ladies often comment on me looking 12, "no way are you a teacher!" ect.

September is looming and it's getting me down that i'm probably going to enter schools and have the "are you old enough to teach this class?" looks again.

I wear blouses, trousers, wedges, heeled shoes but still I can't pass as my own age! I have shoulder length curly hair.

I'm 5'0 and weight 7 stone 7.

@SoTeenyTiny

This happens to me all the time. When DS was in infant school a supply teacher wouldn't let me collect my own child because under 16s aren't allowed too. I was 32, I had to phone my mum to come and collect us both. And don't get me started on how many times I have been stopped by the police as they think I can't possibly have a driving licence. I'm 47 and a half now, If only I just had the problem of getting ID'd in shops or delivery men asking if my mums in my life would be so much more bareable. I suppose I am just much too teeny tiny.

What erm that's a bit shocking about the school. No way would I have given in to calling my mum though I would have kicked off and spoken to headteacher about this

I am 45 and last Christmas was asked for ID to buy a poker set at Argos.

It sounds funny but in reality it is not. People treat you differently, especially at work and when you are dealing with professionals such as doctors and health visitors. You are not taken seriously and I stopped socialising or buying alcohol because of it many years ago.

All I can say is enjoy it while you can!

Look at my user name

Happens a lot, latest one was an older white man looking and me, my dad (he's black, big part of why he looks younger) and my daughter and not being able to comprehend how that worked. We're 56, 24 & 1.5 but maybe look more like 40, 18 and 1... which still works

Pretty sure people think I'm DDs nanny/au pair, until she yanks down my top

At work they was another baby faced guy and we had a client meeting together and I think the clients were a bit WTF about getting two work experience kids instead of experienced professionals

It's been nice reading other people's experiences.
I really felt like I was the only one who was 'stuck' in a body of a teenager.

I don't know if it's because I look young myself but I would never make a fellow young-looking person feel awful about not looking their age.

When I was a cashier at 18 in a supermarket and had to ask for ID off people, if someone looked very young (as in around 13-16) but their ID showed 28 or whatever, I would never laugh and say "no way!! You're not that age!" or press them that it must be a fake ID. I would just smile and say "sorry I had to ask for policy".

I do not understand how people think it is okay to comment negatively or joke about someone's looks.
Age is a social construct. We believe short is young, and babyfaced is young, so when you have both you're stuffed. Yet who's to say that "surely you can't have been on this earth for 25 years because you're 5 foot nothing with big eyes and puffy cheeks" -
We're not allowed to discriminate or belittle people based on age, race, gender, disability ect. but it seems okay to belittle people who are blessed (or cursed) with looking young.

I don't mind people who genuinly make mistakes on first impressions but it's those people who laugh and make you feel awful for looking the way you do - especially those who announce their thoughts in public

Stealth boast!!
I get it's annoying now but you will be glad when you reach 40 and your wrinkles aren't showing and your boobs aren't hitting the floor like me!

And i am gutted now that i am no longer mistakenly asked for id!!

@malificent7

Stealth boast!! I get it's annoying now but you will be glad when you reach 40 and your wrinkles aren't showing and your boobs aren't hitting the floor like me!

Maybe she will be glad then but the stealth boast is so blatantly stupid it's like you haven't read the thread

I used to have the same thing. I think it is common for women who are small and slim. It gets better when you are 40 and people think you are 28! Sadly, now I am older I look my age. It would be good to look younger when you are over 50.

No advice but my mum looks ridiculously young still. She is short too and very slim. She has moaned about how at your age she would be asked if she needed a child fare on a bus. My dad was asked if he wanted one adult and 2 children, when I was a teen going into a museum. I remember that! She says it was not being taken seriously in her job that pissed her off.

It only got easier in her 40s when looking younger was a benefit, it she has always hated it. She says it also attracted dodgy men when she was in her 20s and boys were not interested in her as a teenager. I look young but not as much as she did

Sorry.

I can see why it might sound like a stealth boast but professionally it can be really awkward and does expose people's biases. One benefit - maybe if I continue to look young I'll be allowed to work to retirement age rather than getting put out to pasture at a certain point.

It doesnt only affect women though, as another poster pointed out.

Dd (early 20s) was asked for id from someone who was 4 years below her at secondary school. That didn't go down well...!

I feel your pain OP, I was forever being refused service in pubs into my 30s.

I'm 36 now but have had this regularly all my life. Buying alcohol has been an absolute pain in the arse. However, I never get IDed if I'm with DH or the kids, because presumably then people think couple/family and peg me at closer to my actual age. I got IDed in Sainsbury's just before lockdown started and took great pleasure in pointing out that I'm now double the age at which one can buy alcohol!

At work I developed a confident voice - so I think my voice sounds older than my face looks, because I have consciously tried to make it so. I did get asked my age last year when a colleague realised that I have not one but two school age kids, and when I told her, she looked me up and down disbelievingly and said she'd thought I was about 22 or 23. It has pros and cons - people can definitely ignore my opinions, but also sometimes people think I'm terribly knowledgeable for someone so young!

My dd is in her 20s and is a secondary school teacher. Last year when we went to Pizza Hut I was asked if I wanted a children's menu for her by a waitress younger than the kids she teaches.

We're not allowed to discriminate or belittle people based on age, race, gender, disability ect. but it seems okay to belittle people who are blessed (or cursed) with looking young.

Yeah I’m not sure being mistaken for being younger is quite the same as being discriminated against due to your race, gender or disability.

I got this when my kids were toddlers we opened the door and the delivery guy asked if my mum was at home I was 40 at the time.

Would you rather look ten years older than your age or ten years younger? I know my answer

I’m sure she would rather just look her age (as I did when I had the same issue as OP). Now motherhood has just made me look tired all the time so I only get asked for ID if I’m wearing makeup.

Put on some weight, then you won't get IDed

I think if you hired a personal shopper (possibly when it's a bit safer to do so?), you could really address your personal style. It does make a massive difference to how you're perceived. I think possibly previous attempts weren't "enough" if you didn't see much of a change.

I'm also tiny - 5 foot - and when I was skinny (7 stone something) I was forever mistaken for a teenager.

I'm a little bit heavier (and stronger / muscley) now, and my face has lost some baby fat. My personal style has changed, but I do still dress "young" (i.e. sometimes I will wear jeans shorts, hoodies, baseball cap, etc). I'm in my mid 30s now though and no one ever mistakes me for a teenager now (just maybe they think I'm in my 20s).

I think some of it comes down to natural aging (trust me, in your 30s your looks do change no matter how you feel now!), but also posture and confidence. I'm way more confident and no one ever questions me - not at work, not in the supermarket. So that could also be something to work on.

Really do try not to get a chip on your shoulder about it, though. I think confidence is what will adjust people's perception of your age therefore your capabilities. Getting a strop on will only reinforce any misconceptions that you are "young"!

The other day I bumped into an old friend's parent. He asked me how old I was now, probably forgetting that I was only 2 years younger than his daughter, and that about 25 years ago I'd been hanging around his house causing mayhem....
He said, No way, I thought you were about 22!

Yeah, buddy! What was I, just a remnant of particles hanging around your house all those years ago?! I did exist I just laughed it off! I think he just didn't really add up the sums in his head!
(FWIW I definitely do not look 22, I wish)

I used to get this too and my mum would always say I’d be glad of it one day. And she was right in a way as I’m in my 50s now and look younger and people find it difficult to age me.

It must be frustrating for you but I wouldn’t change anything about your appearance to try to make yourself look older, like cutting your hair or something. I always wore quite expensive, well cut and well tailored clothes, shoes and bags for my professional life which helped me at work. So maybe try a more tailored clothing look? I think a well groomed look can help blur one’s age.

Been there! It was weird I could pass for slightly older at 15/16, but still got asked for ID regularly into my 30’s. And actually, if I look at pictures I really don’t age much from 20-30. To make it worse I had my kids young! So I’ll introduce someone to ds(13) and get “wow, you’re too young to have a teenager” and be thinking yeah I have two older ones as well..
Unfortunately being a wheelchair user these days, you’re considered invisible as well as old But when I go out without it people often think my 18 year old is my brother (possibly boyfriend on one or two occasions..)

Oh this is my kind of thread this is! I'm 26,ive been told many times I don't look any older than 19.
Even on one of these 'how old do I look' threads, at least 10 people said 15 or 16
Shop assistants and elderly ladies have frequently commented how I'm such a good big sister to take my little brother out and then they are amazed when I reply "I'm his mum "

I get ID'd for 18 rated dvds, Red bull, alcohol, knifes. Even having my 3 children with me I still get asked for ID!

I work in a restaurant and many of my tables often tip £10-15 and remark that it must be difficult trying to hold onto a job and attend college

The stealth boast thing was a joke really...it must be annoying but let's face it, as women we are taken less seriously regardless of how young/ old we are. The only way around it seems to be to cultivate a stern resting bitch face.

@malificent7 and then we are told to “smile!”