when would you expect your dc to move out?

[namechanged8873]

just the title really. not a troll, long time lurker, made account recently and name changed for this

It's so hard to tell these days what job and housing (incl rental) market will be like. My eldest says she never wants to move out! I was forced out at 18 as my parents divorced, sold the family home and moved in with new partners. I had a spare bed in their homes but was never made to feel very welcome and most definitely a guest. So I think I will be happy to let mine stay as long as they want. I didn't realise until decades later that my parents behaviour left a lasting impact on my sense of self and safety.

Person circumstances.. Ds moved out at 18 when he joined the army. Older ds saved and bought a house at 24 so was home until then.
Hoping dd's go to uni and live there!!

I'd hope that they feel ready to move on after university but the oldest is autistic so I think he's going to be home for quite a bit longer.

I moved out at 20 but my step father was an abusive alcoholic so I just wanted to get away from that situation really. If I had a happy home, I might have stayed a bit longer.

I’m hoping that they will move out by 21 and definitely by 25.

If he studies for a degree, 18. If he works locally, probably 21 or 22.

Anything beyond that, he would have to pay rent and his share of the bills.

Dd1 moved out at 18 as she wanted to live in the city with her friends an an apartment. She was always incredibly independent and couldn’t wait to spread her wings. She now lives in the Middle East at 25.

I think dd2 will follow suit.

Dd3 will never move out.

I’d expect them to move out for university but probably come back in holidays, they’d be welcome after that until they had a decent job and had got on their feet. The door would always be open for if they were between properties/end of a relationship type situations, but I’d expect those to be temporary not go on for years and years.

Our family rule is if you don’t study or earn then you need to find somewhere else. My dc are still at school but my dss are older and left home in late teens early 20s. My dss weren’t willing to contribute to running of household but if they had they could have stayed longer

My eldest 2 moved out at 18 to go to uni

Once they graduated they moved back in!

22 year old DD is doing her masters
21 year old DS is working

I have no idea when they will actually move out but we live in London with sky high rents so I’m not exactly holding my breath

21 year old is talking about getting a job after uni, saving then buying with boyfriend. So possibly years.
But I hope the lure of living with boyfriend will persuade them to try and organise it within a year. I feel for her but our house is tiny and she's not contributing anything at the moment as she's a student.
My own mum moved in with a new partner effectively making my brother and I homeless independent at 18 and 19.

I think there's no excuse after 25.
Even my ds2 call centre worker managed a mortgage before he was 25.
If they aren't saving a deposit for the smallest/ cheapest property they can afford on a ft wage, then there's no hope, however old they are.

The 'boy' next door is 43 !! His sister recently moved back in too and she's 46 with two kids ! The parents don't seem to mind, they are very sweet people.

I’m not fussed at all. Whenever they are ready and happy too. The longer they stay home after education the more time they have to save etc for first homes, maybe travel etc.

Personal experience - DS uni at 18 moved back at 19 as he hated Uni moved out again at 20 to private rent with GF.

DSD moved out of her moms at 17, moved in with DH last W/E with DGS (this is very temporary though)

DSS - 16 and talks about extending our house if he wins lottery one day as he thinks it will be easier than moving out, as the last at home think he quite likes the peace but my guess is he will stay in education for few years and then want to go travelling before he commits to moving out.

When they need to, temporarily for university and then when they have a job that is too far to commute from home, other than that when they can afford it/want to. My DCs who have left home still have a key and a bedroom and can come back whenever they need to.

moved in with DH meant to say me and DH

How long is a piece of string?

@MrsOldma

Our family rule is if you don’t study or earn then you need to find somewhere else. My dc are still at school but my dss are older and left home in late teens early 20s. My dss weren’t willing to contribute to running of household but if they had they could have stayed longer

Our family rule is if you don’t study or earn then you need to find somewhere else

How does that work then? They don't study and haven't got a job so you expect them to move out when they have no money to support themselves. I hope you at least provide a cardboard box and sleeping bag as you kick them out.

Not a parent but I moved out at 25 with my ex boyfriend and when we split up I moved back in with my parents to save some money as he left me without much. Got my act together and moved out for good at 28. I know i could go back to my parents if ever i needed to and i quite like that! I appreciate its not the same for everyone though.

I have friends who have moved out in their 30s, due to the cost of property in London. I actually don’t think I will care as long as they are saving and respectful of my home. If they aren’t doing either they can leave. I want to see active steps to pull a deposit together, with my help (god willing)

Younger two are only 13 and 14 but I guess they’d move out once they can afford to. I’ve lived on my own since I was 16 but my brother still lives at hime at 34 🙄.

Based on my experience and that of family and friends id say the only guarantee is whatever age they "move out" that they won't do it just once!!! I.e move to uni accommodation age 18, move back in holidays, move out again for second year, back again then live at home for final year, move out travelling for a year, move back in again for six months, move out to share with mates, move back in when fall out with mates, move out to live abroad for a few years, move back in again while getting set up with new job in this country.....move out to live with partner, move back in when relationship breaks down, move back out again to rent with new partner, then move back in again this time with partner and child in order to save money for.a deposit....etc etc!

Whenever he is ready. He is an only son. Has plans to go to uni. So whenever his life lets him. Everything and everyone is different. So will depend on him.

DS 25 went to uni at 18 and lived there but obviously still had a room and most of his stuff here so I don't think that counts. Even now he has his first job he is only able to afford a room in a HMO so stuff is still here and doesn't really feel like he has properly moved out. Then come lockdown and working from home he gave up the HMO and moved back with us (22 weeks ago and counting!) But that has helped him save and his offer on a flat has been accepted! So when ever that goes through hopefully before Christmas I think he might really be gone! Seems about right to me.

I am one of three, we all "left" for Uni at 18/19 but still came home for holidays. We all did Masters degrees (my brother and sister abroad).

None of us really moved back after Uni though - I bought a house when I started doing my PhD (other end of the country), my brother joined the army so lives in barracks but sometimes goes back at weekends (aged 27) and my sister has a job and flat with her boyfriend abroad in the city she did her masters.