when would you expect your dc to move out?

[namechanged8873]

just the title really. not a troll, long time lurker, made account recently and name changed for this

I went to uni at 18 and then was only back for very occasional short periods until I finally bought a house at 28.

I would hope the same of my sons but I know it’s (even) more expensive to rent or buy these days so I’d be flexible.

Unless studying they would be paying rent though!

DS1 was about to move out this spring but lockdown happened and he couldn't. He now says he's really glad he wasn't on his own in a 1 bed flat so I don't think I'll ever get rid of him now. (He does pay his way though, he earns more than me!)

I'll be happy to let DS live at home as long as he wants. I wouldn't be running around after him though, he'd have to contribute financially and do housework/washing/buy his own food.

I moved out at 17 and struggled financially, I don't want DS to have those struggles.

My four ranged from 17 to 28 depending on their circumstances. They were welcome to stay indefinitely as far as I was concerned; it was their home as much as mine.

Our family rule is if you don’t study or earn then you need to find somewhere else
That's so grim.
Have you seen the job market currently?
My youngest has just graduated and is working part time. I love having her back.
Don't know why some people have kids.

@MrsKeats grim? I think enabling two adults to slob about all day, not interested in looking for work or in further education/training is worse. And it was the boot up the bum they needed to sort themselves out

Probably never.

God knows we can’t afford to rent without help, let alone buy a place.

Ds is screwed.

[quote MrsOldma]@MrsKeats grim? I think enabling two adults to slob about all day, not interested in looking for work or in further education/training is worse. And it was the boot up the bum they needed to sort themselves out[/quote]
That's not what most young people are like though, are you generalising or are yours particularly lazy?

Depends on the circumstances but if you’ve done your job right as a parent, one would hope your kid is ready to fly the nest by early to mid 20’s

I left for uni at 18 but was back in the holidays then moved back at 21. Stayed until I bought a house at 24. A few years later rented my house out to live with bf but when we split up moved back home as still had tenants in. I offered to give my tenant notice but my dad didn't want me living alone (bit of a rough area!) Moved out properly again at 30...ten years later I know I would still be welcome if I needed to for any reason!

My dc are young but they are welcome to stay as long as they need or want

The other problem with renting is the need for a guarantor, my DD needed one to rent a flat but our household income is below that which the agency would accept, therefore she has to live at home. My income isn't high enough to be able to pay my mortgage and DD's rent if anything went wrong.

@collapsedhairpin it was from personal experience! Of course we should support our young adults to make their way in the world but they have to put in effort too. That’s the point I was trying to make

Depends on the circumstances but if you’ve done your job right as a parent, one would hope your kid is ready to fly the nest by early to mid 20’s
Not a fair assessment. My friends in London, went to uni, came out by 22/23 and worked bloody hard, able to buy a one bed flat by 28-30 yrs old, I think they’ve done amazing.

My DC can stay as long as they want to, although once out of full time education they will be expected to contribute financially and around the house, much like a house share. I wouldn't expect to 'look after them' or arrange my life around their comings and goings after the age of 18.

Can stay as long as they want to
If they are not in a relationship they would need a more than average salary plus a hefty deposit to afford anything reasonable even up north
DD lives with her DP
DS is saving madly but I suspect will be nearly 30 before he can buy whilst single

After university.

boot up the bum
What a stupid comment. Unless you haven't noticed there's a pandemic on. Marks and Spencer's is about to let 7000 workers go. How will that fix the economy?
None of mine slob around all day they have jobs that they got before the virus hit.
Your posts are pure Daily Mail.

@MrsKeats it’s not stupid it’s what happened in my family a few years ago. Of course things are different now and there are high levels of uncertainty across so many industries. And I’m glad your dc have jobs.

But I stand by our beliefs that adults should contribute to their household if they can

When they are ready to?!

Mine are still very young (primary/preschool) The next house me and DH buy though we are looking for somewhere suitable long term, with maybe an annex for guests/air bnb now and then slightly more independent accommodation for young adults. I’m expecting one or both to be living with us into their mid 20s at least.

When she won't behave at hime, so the month before her 18th birthday.

My daughter will move out when she is ready, if she is working i would expect her to contribute some money for rent, but this would go into a savings accoint for her later