To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

[PennyDreadfuI]

Another mask thread but I'm not going to apologise because I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this sort of thing.

I can't wear a mask because I have trigeminal neuralgia and I've lost count of the stares, comments and filthy looks I've had (and yes, I do wear a lanyard, even though I'm not keen on advertising the fact that I have a hidden health condition). I've heard of people not being allowed on buses, being challenged by staff to explain their reason for exemption and being told they can't enter shops despite being exempt (none of which is legal). I've been told I should wear a visor (I can't, and they're next to useless anyway - Scotland have just banned them unless they're worn with a mask), that I should just stay at home (I can't and neither do government guidelines suggest I should), that I shouldn't use buses (I don't drive and can't walk long distances or cycle because I have inflammatory arthritis) and that I'm selfish (I'm not - if I could wear a mask, I would).

I understand this is a contentious issue but please, can people just think for a minute before they judge or comment? Exemptions are there for a reason - those who are sticklers for The Rules should surely accept and respect this one, too. It's awful that people are too scared to go out for fear of what's essentially discrimination.

The pandemic is bad enough by itself - let's not lose our sense of empathy and humanity, too.

@ChicCroissant

Entirely your choice none, the OP is already wearing a lanyard so may be more open to wearing something that says 'I am exempt' in the hope of cutting off any queries.

Yes, the government guidance is that you don't have to provide written proof. That hasn't stopped people challenging the OP, unfortunately. How you handle that is up to you.

I have a lanyard and a card on it. I wear them every time I am out.

I have still been abused.

@ItsIslandTime

Alwaysinpain

I don’t understand why the plastic visor was so bad to wear. Can’t you angle the plastic so it’s well away from your face? Like in the attached picture?

I can see that some people wouldn’t want anything even vaguely covering their face but I don’t see how it would Physically interfere with breathing.

Because trigeminal neuralgia also causes pain through the head. Even a hat can set it off.

Noneformethanks
I shouldn’t be asked to explain. The law is clear

I know that. That’s why I started my post saying ‘you shouldn’t have to explain....’

@nether outrageous, what are you talking about? so what you are saying is people like the OP should halt her every day life and stop doing things so that the vulnerable can? please explain

www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/disabled-girl-refused-apple-metrocentre-18795631

Another one in the north east.

The comments on Facebook are disgusting. Lots of she needs to get over it...when she is disabled and medically exempt!

You have to wear masks in the Metro centre unless you are exempt so why did it only suddenly become a problem when she wanted to go in the Apple store?

As for people saying people with disabilities should just stay at home you are a disgrace! People with disabilities are already very vulnerable and you want to make them even more vulnerable...we have jobs, responsibilities and lives that mean we have to leave the house as well you know!

I think for some people who rarely get to exercise power in their lives and are used to feeling irrelevant, this is a rare opportunity to throw some weight around.

@Strawberrypip. I think nether is saying that we all need to accept that if we’re asymptomatic carriers, we could unintentionally infect someone else if we’re not socially distancing and/or wearing a mask.

Until there’s a vaccine, there’s no getting around that fact. It’s shit for everyone.

why did it only suddenly become a problem when she wanted to go in the Apple store?

This is Apple's policy, it is the same in the USA.

LillianBland

My post about the visor was in response to another poster called alwaysinpain who said she couldn’t wear a visor because it interfered with her breathing. I posted her name at the top of my post. I wasn’t referring to the OP or anyone else suffering from trigeminal neuralgia

@ExchangedCat
And your medical degree is no doubt extremely useful when assessing a complete strangers explanation for why they aren't wearing a mask? You have no right to ask and, like most of the rest of us, no medical skills on which to base a judgement on the answer.

Everyone hates being at risk, and you are in a riskier position than many, but that doesn't give you the right to question others about something which may be very personal.

Thank you for assuming I have a medical degree from my previous post.
I still do not understand why it isn't my business if someone is risking my health by not wearing a mask in close proximity to me.
And before anyone asks just as people don't feel that they should have to explain their disabilities or reasons for not wearing a mask, I don't see why I need to explain I feel I'm at higher risk.
Am I suppose to leave the shop every single time someone without a mask doesn't observe social distancing? How is that fair to me or people in a similar position to me?
I did not say I would openly challenge anyone... you'll probably get lots of abuse back in any case. But their behavious impacts me so I will have an opinion on it.

Didnt help when Cressida encouraged shaming.

This pandemic has brought out so many people's inner vigilante! How quickly some jump to incorrect conclusions and start wagging the finger, and the amount of sheer excitement some people seem to get from 'having a go' because 'they're not following the rules' it's been the same all through lockdown, and it go to the point where it was absolutely ridiculous

If you're exempt from wearing a mask, don't wear one and if you're not exempt then do wear one, and that's as far as it needs to go, it's not for anyone to pick apart what other people are doing because we don't know their circumstances, and we don't know how much damage/trauma we could be causing by making reference to them not wearing a mask

OP you absolutely should not be receiving this abuse.

The problem is that given the lack of a well designed and well publicised advertising campaign to educate people, it feels like responsibility for sharing information about how to keep safe is mostly delegated to "word of mouth". I have never challenged anyone for not mask-wearing but I have been sorely tempted when seeing a bus load of people who clearly aren't exempt as they all had a mask, and were all without exception either wearing it on their chin, over their mouth only not their nose, or dangling from an ear - they all just wore the mask to get on the bus then took it off when they sat down.

There should be a huge campaign of adverts and publicity and most certainly an important part of that message needs to be: some people can't wear masks, for medical reasons. if that is you then that's ok. we can still stay safe as a community so long as everyone else, who doesn't have such a medical reason, does wear a mask over nose and mouth whenever they are in an enclosed space like in a shop or on a bus. if those messages were all-pervasive then there would be a lot fewer people taking it upon themselves to try to educate the others (and far too often getting it wrong and challenging those who shouldn't be challenged)

@ItsIslandTime

LillianBland

My post about the visor was in response to another poster called alwaysinpain who said she couldn’t wear a visor because it interfered with her breathing. I posted her name at the top of my post. I wasn’t referring to the OP or anyone else suffering from trigeminal neuralgia

Apologies. I completely missed the name. My daughter can’t wear a mask, but wears a visor attached to a hat.

I’m a bit sensitive because I suffer from bouts of trigeminal neuralgia.

airforsharon posted:

"An announcement over the tannoy in my local Sainsburys last night said (words to the effect of) not all disabilities are visible, please do not judge or be hostile towards any customers not wearing a mask. Thank you for wearing one if you can."

That statement sounds good to me - hopefully other shops will take the same approach.

@MMN123 Thanks for explaining the further detail re TN. It sounds like a very difficult condition to live with, and now I totally understand why OP is unable to wear any sort of face covering. Nightmare.

[quote Strawberrypip]@nether outrageous, what are you talking about? so what you are saying is people like the OP should halt her every day life and stop doing things so that the vulnerable can? please explain[/quote]
I'm saying that reasonable adjustments for group A should not put group B at risk of death, such that they have to halt their everyday lives and stop doing things.

As for people saying people with disabilities should just stay at home you are a disgrace! People with disabilities are already very vulnerable and you want to make them even more vulnerable...we have jobs, responsibilities and lives that mean we have to leave the house as well you know!

Exactly my point

@AmICrazyorWhat2
@Strawberrypip. I think nether is saying that we all need to accept that if we’re asymptomatic carriers, we could unintentionally infect someone else if we’re not socially distancing and/or wearing a mask

Until there’s a vaccine, there’s no getting around that fact. It’s shit for everyone

Thank you for putting it so clearly

[quote Looking4wards]@ExchangedCat
And your medical degree is no doubt extremely useful when assessing a complete strangers explanation for why they aren't wearing a mask? You have no right to ask and, like most of the rest of us, no medical skills on which to base a judgement on the answer.

Everyone hates being at risk, and you are in a riskier position than many, but that doesn't give you the right to question others about something which may be very personal.

Thank you for assuming I have a medical degree from my previous post.
I still do not understand why it isn't my business if someone is risking my health by not wearing a mask in close proximity to me.
And before anyone asks just as people don't feel that they should have to explain their disabilities or reasons for not wearing a mask, I don't see why I need to explain I feel I'm at higher risk.
Am I suppose to leave the shop every single time someone without a mask doesn't observe social distancing? How is that fair to me or people in a similar position to me?
I did not say I would openly challenge anyone... you'll probably get lots of abuse back in any case. But their behavious impacts me so I will have an opinion on it.[/quote]
It’s your responsibility to be alert to your proximity to others even when you are standing still.

Stay 2m away.

Not an issue if they aren’t wearing a mask.

Many folk can’t wear masks so assume you will encounter unmasked people if you go into a shop.

Then decide if you want to enter and be vigilant or not enter.

I still do not understand why it isn't my business if someone is risking my health by not wearing a mask in close proximity to me. and I don't see why I need to explain I feel I'm at higher risk

So you actually understand perfectly well, you just don't want to give others a courtesy you expect to receive yourself.

Pathetic.

@lakesidesummer

why did it only suddenly become a problem when she wanted to go in the Apple store?

This is Apple's policy, it is the same in the USA.

I'm glad I don't buy anything from Apple then.

I have TN and I'm wearing a mask. I can't imagine not wearing one. But I also completely sympathise.

@Defenbaker

airforsharon posted:

"An announcement over the tannoy in my local Sainsburys last night said (words to the effect of) not all disabilities are visible, please do not judge or be hostile towards any customers not wearing a mask. Thank you for wearing one if you can."

That statement sounds good to me - hopefully other shops will take the same approach.

@MMN123 Thanks for explaining the further detail re TN. It sounds like a very difficult condition to live with, and now I totally understand why OP is unable to wear any sort of face covering. Nightmare.

That’s ok. I’ve never had it myself but have seen people hospitalised with it. It’s hard to treat and anyone with it should be given an award for managing to get to the shops at all!! Completely understand why they wouldn’t risk doing anything to set it off. And having any chronic severe pain condition won’t endear a person to busybodies quizzing them about their lack of mask during their weekly shop!

@MMN123
It’s your responsibility to be alert to your proximity to others even when you are standing still.

Stay 2m away.

Not an issue if they aren’t wearing a mask.

Many folk can’t wear masks so assume you will encounter unmasked people if you go into a shop.

Then decide if you want to enter and be vigilant or not enter.

You're assuming they were in the shop first, that's not always the case. If I'm mid-way through a transaction am i suppose to leave just because someone else entered without a mask and decided not to observe the distancing rules?
I'm also having issue on public transport. If I get off everytime someone without a mask stands too close I'll never get to my destination.
So what's the solution for me? Am I suppose to stay at home then?

@aceofspades987

I have TN and I'm wearing a mask. I can't imagine not wearing one. But I also completely sympathise.

Depends if it’s well controlled or if the mask triggers the nerve branch you are affected by - but in those it does trigger I’m sure you can see why they avoid it!

@ExchangedCat
So you actually understand perfectly well, you just don't want to give others a courtesy you expect to receive yourself.

Pathetic.

I'm sorry you're not able to understand a point of view that isn't the same as your own and has resorted to insults.
Likewise I don't see why you can't extend the courtesy of consideration to others who are higher risk. Should we all stay at home till a vaccine is found then?