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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

984 replies

PennyDreadfuI · 19/08/2020 12:58

Another mask thread but I'm not going to apologise because I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this sort of thing.

I can't wear a mask because I have trigeminal neuralgia and I've lost count of the stares, comments and filthy looks I've had (and yes, I do wear a lanyard, even though I'm not keen on advertising the fact that I have a hidden health condition). I've heard of people not being allowed on buses, being challenged by staff to explain their reason for exemption and being told they can't enter shops despite being exempt (none of which is legal). I've been told I should wear a visor (I can't, and they're next to useless anyway - Scotland have just banned them unless they're worn with a mask), that I should just stay at home (I can't and neither do government guidelines suggest I should), that I shouldn't use buses (I don't drive and can't walk long distances or cycle because I have inflammatory arthritis) and that I'm selfish (I'm not - if I could wear a mask, I would).

I understand this is a contentious issue but please, can people just think for a minute before they judge or comment? Exemptions are there for a reason - those who are sticklers for The Rules should surely accept and respect this one, too. It's awful that people are too scared to go out for fear of what's essentially discrimination.

The pandemic is bad enough by itself - let's not lose our sense of empathy and humanity, too.

OP posts:
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RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 19/08/2020 21:16

@ILoveFood87

YANBU OP. Though I do try my best to avoid people who can't wear masks as I don't want me or my child put at risk. I hope non mask wearers dont take it offensively when I move away.
You'll probably find most of them are more than happy to maintain the 2 metre spacing. It's far healthier for a start

Whilst people were staying 2 metres away the death rate went right down - we weren't wearing masks.

The difference they make is minimal if you read any sensible research done on the masks people are wearing and even that depends on wearing it correctly.

lakesidesummer · 19/08/2020 21:19

People should be focusing on wearing their own masks and not saying things to other people who aren't.

I told one to just wear your own mask to protect yourself and mind your own business.
This however is back to front, masks don't protect the wearer, they protect others from the wearer.

latebreakfast · 19/08/2020 21:22

If people are that concerned that your breath might kill them (can I eye roll at that incidentally) then they shouldnt be out in the shops.

Isn't that the reason we're supposed to masks in the first place? To prevent the spread of a virus that kills people?

RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 19/08/2020 21:22

It's amazing

All these people, thinking they are so great fo sticking the noses in pick on young women on their own or with children. You don't see anyone saying anything to the 6ft, broadly built men.

Anyone that says anything to anyone not wearing a mask is nothing but a cowardly bully.

AnneElliott · 19/08/2020 21:24

I agree with you op. People should mind their own business esp if you are wearing the lanyard!

I used to wonder how the stasi and other secret police could get the population to inform on each other. I think we've now found the answer - some people are willing to turn on others for not following 'the rules'.

IdblowJonSnow · 19/08/2020 21:24

I feel for you, however I got on a bus the other day and only 2 people out of 7 had masks on. I was really annoyed but said nothing. I just dont believe that all of those 5 had a hidden disability.
But I am sorry for the minority who do and get shit.
Bus driver said buggar all. I wont be getting a bus again any time soon.

NoMoreFlowers · 19/08/2020 21:25

This is a difficult one. There are people who don't wear masks and have no good reason. What you're effectively saying is that nobody should be challenged.

RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 19/08/2020 21:25

[quote treeeeemendous]@blissfulllife but wearing a mask does not protect yourself it protects others. That's the problem. All these people not wearing masks are taking protection from others wearing masks but not protecting anyone else.

I don't ever say anything to people not wearing masks, I have better things to do with my time but I can tell you there are an awful lot if people out there not wearing masks who could and should. [/quote]
Another magician in the mn members

At least you keep your knowledge to yourself.

whiteroseredrose · 19/08/2020 21:25

How to tell the difference between those who can't wear a mask for whatever reason and those who won't wear a mask because they CBA?

Having said that - the virus doesn't care.

If someone is a carrier of the virus and isn't wearing a mask they can spread it whether that have a medical condition or not. Makes no difference.

HeIenaDove · 19/08/2020 21:26

There are too many people not wearing masks and so the ones who are genuinely unable to are getting the blame. I don't think you can blame people for questioning it. The blame lies firmly at the door of people taking the mickey and not wearing masks for any other reason than they can't be bothered to

This is the new "its because of all the scroungers that you cant get PIP" rebooted for 2020!

OwlBeThere · 19/08/2020 21:28

My son can’t a wear mask. He can’t wear a lanyard either for the same reason he can’t wear the mask.
It’s not on him or me to explain ourselves to anyone, anyone who has made comment to us, gets told to mind their own business. Simple.

It’s totally the fault of people who think they are the mask mafia.
And he is not ‘taking protection’ he is living his life the best he knows how.

Orchidflower1 · 19/08/2020 21:28

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite

There are too many people not wearing masks and so the ones who are genuinely unable to are getting the blame. I don't think you can blame people for questioning it. The blame lies firmly at the door of people taking the mickey and not wearing masks for any other reason than they can't be bothered to.
I hear you op but this is the reason. Those either not wearing one when they should or using it as a chin warmer.
RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 19/08/2020 21:29

@NoMoreFlowers

This is a difficult one. There are people who don't wear masks and have no good reason. What you're effectively saying is that nobody should be challenged.
That's exactly what I am saying

A shop worker can ask but even then the person doesn't have to provide proof

The police can speak to them - except they don't see the point either in most cases.

But YOU or any other random person has no right whatsoever to challenge anyone.

It is clearly stated in the government guidelines

Gancanny · 19/08/2020 21:31

What you're effectively saying is that nobody should be challenged.

Unless the person doing the challenging is a police offer or other official then, no, nobody should be challenged.

OwlBeThere · 19/08/2020 21:31

Yes, @NoMoreFlowers that’s exactly what should happen, the guidelines everyone’s so keen on following say that’s exactly what should happen.

wasgoingmadinthecountry · 19/08/2020 21:32

Hardly any of the staff in my local Sainsbury's wear them - one staff member even hugged a customer the other day (a friend I assume!) and the staff stand very close together. Maybe they all have underlying reasons. I don't know. I do know that for a long time the infection rate in our town was terrifyingly high.

What really gets me is people who don't wear them properly - what's the point?

yolio · 19/08/2020 21:32

TBH now, if someone cannot wear a mask, why go out and spread it around? I would be worried myself without any face covering myself. But having had TGN in my time I am not without any empathy either.

Without criticising anyone, I will wear a mask, and if anyone I know cannot do so I will try to get their shopping etc, not all accept it either though.

All for one and all that.

Ethelfleda · 19/08/2020 21:34

I just can’t get worked up about others not wearing masks - for whatever reason. I wear mine and I don’t mind wearing it. But I’m not about to launch an attack on a complete stranger for not putting one on. Ridiculous.

Lifeisgenerallyfun · 19/08/2020 21:35

There was a woman in the news today who couldn’t wear one and is now afraid to leave her house because of the abuse she received.

Here’s the best way to deal with a person not wearing a mask -assume that they have a valid reason, a reason they might not want to publicise, concentrate on doing what you’re doing, it is not your place to question someone else because you mistakenly feel morally superior.

Goyle · 19/08/2020 21:35

As someone who works in public transport: all the mask vigilantes can kiss my arse.
I've seen a nasty one of a middle aged white man verbally abusing a young black woman on the tube on Twitter. She doesn't have to justify to this random stranger why she doesn't wear one! It's her business alone!

I've seen people on the tube wearing notes on their clothes, or badges. It's a bloody sad state of affairs when people have to label themselves to avoid a confrontation. Their mental, emotional and physical health history is of no business to the rest of us. If I see someone not wearing a mask, I jyst presume they have an exemption. Besides, it's not my, or most officials place to ask. Only the police can issue fines. The rest of us can butt out.

yolio · 19/08/2020 21:36

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RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 19/08/2020 21:36

@AnneElliott

I agree with you op. People should mind their own business esp if you are wearing the lanyard!

I used to wonder how the stasi and other secret police could get the population to inform on each other. I think we've now found the answer - some people are willing to turn on others for not following 'the rules'.

I go further

Some people are practically orgasmic at the prospect of having the power to get someone else into trouble.

KitKatastrophe · 19/08/2020 21:36

TBH now, if someone cannot wear a mask, why go out and spread it around?

So you think people with disabilities should be confined to house arrest for however long we are required to wear masks? Not allowed to go to any indoor public space. I guess you're not one of these people then?

If that is the case why not just go back to the shielding and those vulnerable people can be under house as arrest forever and then everyone else can go about their business.

OwlBeThere · 19/08/2020 21:38

@yolio because they have lives? My son has a job and will soon return to school, he has hospital appointments. And until they invent a teleportation device he has to go outside to do these things.

NoMoreFlowers · 19/08/2020 21:38

I'm genuinely interested in people's opinions about this as they mostly seem to differ from mine, and I'm questioning what I think. I understand the government guidelines but I'm struggling to see why nobody should be challenged. I'm not exempt from wearing a mask and I wear one. If I went shopping tomorrow without one on (which I obviously wouldn't do as I'm not exempt) I fail to see why I should just be able to do that without anyone questioning it.