To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

[PennyDreadfuI]

Another mask thread but I'm not going to apologise because I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this sort of thing.

I can't wear a mask because I have trigeminal neuralgia and I've lost count of the stares, comments and filthy looks I've had (and yes, I do wear a lanyard, even though I'm not keen on advertising the fact that I have a hidden health condition). I've heard of people not being allowed on buses, being challenged by staff to explain their reason for exemption and being told they can't enter shops despite being exempt (none of which is legal). I've been told I should wear a visor (I can't, and they're next to useless anyway - Scotland have just banned them unless they're worn with a mask), that I should just stay at home (I can't and neither do government guidelines suggest I should), that I shouldn't use buses (I don't drive and can't walk long distances or cycle because I have inflammatory arthritis) and that I'm selfish (I'm not - if I could wear a mask, I would).

I understand this is a contentious issue but please, can people just think for a minute before they judge or comment? Exemptions are there for a reason - those who are sticklers for The Rules should surely accept and respect this one, too. It's awful that people are too scared to go out for fear of what's essentially discrimination.

The pandemic is bad enough by itself - let's not lose our sense of empathy and humanity, too.

YANBU, that all sounds very stressful and unpleasant OP. I don't know much about the condition you have, except that it causes a lot of pain in the mouth/face, so I can imagine a mask could make the condition worse. I would suggest wearing a visor (if you are able to) and put some sort of label across the top to say "For medical reasons I am unable to wear a mask". I know that might seem like pandering to the mask police, but if it saves you being confronted by people maybe it could help.

I have made a few masks but have not quite got the perfect fit/shape which works for me, as I get quite a hot face as soon as I put any mask on, but I will persist until I find the best one for me. Having a hot face is nothing, in the scheme of things, but you have an actual medical condition so I sympathise. I haven't the whole thread but can you sew? There are many designs and tutorials online. Or could you use a light scarf, folded diagonally, and hold it in place using elastic or ribbon?

Or (this is a long shot) could you buy one of the head coverings that muslim women wear? I believe they come in all sorts of fabrics and colours, and would fit the face covering criteria. This might seem a bit inappropriate to some people, but at the end of the day I'm just trying to think of any sort of face covering that you could tolerate, to go about without being attacked by the mask police.

Alwaysinpain

I don’t understand why the plastic visor was so bad to wear. Can’t you angle the plastic so it’s well away from your face? Like in the attached picture?

I can see that some people wouldn’t want anything even vaguely covering their face but I don’t see how it would Physically interfere with breathing.

I have suffered with TN myself, and know that any touch of the face can trigger the most horrendous pain so you do have my sympathy. If you have it in all three branches even a visor is not going to be pain-free.

You can print off cards or smaller button-badge size logos to say that you are exempt from wearing a face covering, a badge might help a bit more on transport for instance as it's probably more visible than a lanyard.

I think it can occasionally be obvious if people don’t have a reason not to be wearing a mask, e.g group of five teenage girls together all not wearing them, it’s not that likely they ALL have hidden conditions - Of course, they could, but you know!

I tend to just assume if someone isn’t wearing a mask then they have a valid reason not to.

Trouble is so many people aren't bothering. I was in a shop earlier where out of seven people in there I was the only one wearing a mask. The chances of six people in one small shop all having medical exemptoins is pretty low so some people are just taking the piss. If no one challenges it then no one will wear a mask and the whole thing is pointless.

@Alwaysinpain

All I’m saying is that everyone has to try and protect others ( and themselves) from catching COVID-19 or we’ll end up back in lockdown. Masks, social distancing, etc. are some of tools being used worldwide. Some people are exempt from wearing a mask, so social distancing as much as possible is their only option, right? Not sure why you’d consider that bullying, it’s a fact.

@ChicCroissant

I have suffered with TN myself, and know that any touch of the face can trigger the most horrendous pain so you do have my sympathy. If you have it in all three branches even a visor is not going to be pain-free.

You can print off cards or smaller button-badge size logos to say that you are exempt from wearing a face covering, a badge might help a bit more on transport for instance as it's probably more visible than a lanyard.

Why should we have to? The actual law says we don’t.

@Iknowthingsthatwillhappen

Thats fair enough for people exempt. (Im wondering why anyone suffering with trigeminal neuralgia can't wear a mask, but Im sure someone will come along and tell me)

Anything touching the face, even hair lightly brushing the area where the nerves run, can trigger an attack. The pain is excruciating and unremitting.

HelenaDove, I was polite and asked a question, in good old Mumsnet tradition, did you mean to be so rude?

Thank you MMN123

Why should I have to tell a random stranger my trauma and medical history?

You shouldn’t have to tell anyone anything but if you do you don’t have to actually tell the truth. I saw a girl with an inhaler in her hand wandering around the shops the other day. She showed it to staff members as she entered to stores. It didn’t seem like a big deal. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not nobody else's business because wearing a mask protects others from the mask wearer, and not wearing one exposes others. It's the same as antivaxers taking advantage of herd immunity being everyone's business because it does impact everyone.

A tiny number of people genuinely can't be vaccinated and herd immunity from vaccinatable diseases rightly protects them. As soon as antivaxers who could be vaccinated refuse, herd immunity fails and the most vulnerable are exposed.

Mask wearing is the same. In places where everyone wears masks the occasional person who can't isn't questioned, but as soon as large numbers of people who simply don't like wearing masks (almost nobody likes them, most people don't think feeling uncomfortable trump's the greater good) claim they "can't" then the people who genuinely can't also get questioned because the people who can't understand the difference between "don't want to" and "can't" fuck things up for everyone on multiple levels.

It absolutely is everyone's business because it does indeed impact everyone. The people who can't wear masks are very often medically vulnerable or living with medically vulnerable people, and the "don't like wearing a mask therefore I can't" people put the genuinely vulnerable at risk.

OP, apologies I didn't notice the bit where you stated you cannot wear a visor either. Sorry my suggestions are probably useless. I wish I could help.

@ItsIslandTime

Why should I have to tell a random stranger my trauma and medical history?

You shouldn’t have to tell anyone anything but if you do you don’t have to actually tell the truth. I saw a girl with an inhaler in her hand wandering around the shops the other day. She showed it to staff members as she entered to stores. It didn’t seem like a big deal. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I shouldn’t be asked to explain. The law is clear.

@OwlBeThere. I was really surprised and relieved he could wear one, he hadn’t been out since March, this was his first trip out. It’s an awful situation for people like our parents as they wouldn’t have a hope if they caught COVID-19 so their lives are so limited atm.
I hope your Mum is doing OK.

I would be ashamed to think I had the right to challenge anyone over not wearing a mask, and I hate the idea that people feel they need to print off some silly badge or lanyard to appease busybodies.

All these people, thinking they are so great fo sticking the noses in pick on young women on their own or with children. You don't see anyone saying anything to the 6ft, broadly built men.
Oh yes.
I was challenged by a man yesterday for not wearing a mask.
He was walking towards me, he attracted my attention, I removed my headphones. He pointed to his mask ‘hey, facemask, facemask’, he said, with a hint of aggression.
We were walking along a deserted street. Outside.
I said ‘you have to wear them in enclosed spaces, such as shops. You don’t have to wear them outside.’ (You utter bellend)

This pandemic has brought out the absolute worst in so many. It's like people are revealing in the chance to inspect and judge the people around them

This. An announcement over the tannoy in my local Sainsburys last night said (words to the effect of) not all disabilities are visible, please do not judge or be hostile towards any customers not wearing a mask. Thank you for wearing one if you can.

If you can wear one, fantastic, do. You are doing your bit. But no one has the right to be self appointed judge & jury of another, and demand to know why they aren't wearing a mask. Just keep 2 metres away, keep your own counsel and get on with your day.

in simple terms: fuck the mask police OP.

noones business what others do, makes me feel sick the attitude some have on here in their absolute conviction that they have any right to tell anyone what they can and cant do. piss off

Do not have to wear them in Wales, we seem to be getting along with being able to choose whether to wear them or not. They are coming to the conclusion it is either shared in the home or the hospital.

Plastic visor offer no protection other than against splatter. Air moves freely under it, and unless workpn with a mask, the wearer needs to consider that they are unprotected. And so they need to maintain social distancing at minimum 2m

It is sad for peo Le whomcannot wear masks.

But the reasonable adjustment for them could mean serious illness or death to the exceptionally vulnerable. Who are no longer shielded and cannot be marginalised either - especially as it is likely they might be banged up again (or in polite speak, advised to remain in their homes indefinitely, so they don't fill hospital beds)

So the onus is very much on people who cannot wear masks to keep a full 2m away from others, and to realise there might be places/times when some things are not available to them, because they are also in use by the exceptionally vulnerable. Reasonable adjustment does not include risk of death to others, so if other mitigation impossible (and visor alone is insuffcient), and full 2m impossible, then that place/service is temporarily unavailable.

It's one of the features of the pandemic. So many people finding some things are off-limits even when others can do them, and it's been like that since restrictions first came in in March

@Defenbaker

YANBU, that all sounds very stressful and unpleasant OP. I don't know much about the condition you have, except that it causes a lot of pain in the mouth/face, so I can imagine a mask could make the condition worse. I would suggest wearing a visor (if you are able to) and put some sort of label across the top to say "For medical reasons I am unable to wear a mask". I know that might seem like pandering to the mask police, but if it saves you being confronted by people maybe it could help.

I have made a few masks but have not quite got the perfect fit/shape which works for me, as I get quite a hot face as soon as I put any mask on, but I will persist until I find the best one for me. Having a hot face is nothing, in the scheme of things, but you have an actual medical condition so I sympathise. I haven't the whole thread but can you sew? There are many designs and tutorials online. Or could you use a light scarf, folded diagonally, and hold it in place using elastic or ribbon?

Or (this is a long shot) could you buy one of the head coverings that muslim women wear? I believe they come in all sorts of fabrics and colours, and would fit the face covering criteria. This might seem a bit inappropriate to some people, but at the end of the day I'm just trying to think of any sort of face covering that you could tolerate, to go about without being attacked by the mask police.

One of the branches of the trigeminal nerve, the ophthalmic branch, goes over the eyes and across the forehead so even a visor or similar may well trigger an attack. Really not a condition where you would want to attach anything to your head - many won’t even risk wearing hats.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme hit the nail on the head

Entirely your choice none, the OP is already wearing a lanyard so may be more open to wearing something that says 'I am exempt' in the hope of cutting off any queries.

Yes, the government guidance is that you don't have to provide written proof. That hasn't stopped people challenging the OP, unfortunately. How you handle that is up to you.

We are the only people I see wearing masks in my area. If I questioned everyone who didn't we would never get anywhere.

Anyway, logical, given masks don't protect the wearer, I wouldn't dream of approaching or starting on someone without one. Because I am not stupid.

Too many busy bodies. Too few brain cells.