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To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

984 replies

PennyDreadfuI · 19/08/2020 12:58

Another mask thread but I'm not going to apologise because I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this sort of thing.

I can't wear a mask because I have trigeminal neuralgia and I've lost count of the stares, comments and filthy looks I've had (and yes, I do wear a lanyard, even though I'm not keen on advertising the fact that I have a hidden health condition). I've heard of people not being allowed on buses, being challenged by staff to explain their reason for exemption and being told they can't enter shops despite being exempt (none of which is legal). I've been told I should wear a visor (I can't, and they're next to useless anyway - Scotland have just banned them unless they're worn with a mask), that I should just stay at home (I can't and neither do government guidelines suggest I should), that I shouldn't use buses (I don't drive and can't walk long distances or cycle because I have inflammatory arthritis) and that I'm selfish (I'm not - if I could wear a mask, I would).

I understand this is a contentious issue but please, can people just think for a minute before they judge or comment? Exemptions are there for a reason - those who are sticklers for The Rules should surely accept and respect this one, too. It's awful that people are too scared to go out for fear of what's essentially discrimination.

The pandemic is bad enough by itself - let's not lose our sense of empathy and humanity, too.

OP posts:
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AmICrazyorWhat2 · 19/08/2020 22:15

@Alwaysinpain I hear what you’re saying, it’s not pleasant wearing a mask and it does affect your breathing - but my Dad, who has COPD, is wearing one. So I think we have to do our best to wear them.

Of course, some people really can’t and that’s fair enough as long as everyone practices social distancing as best they can.

Alwaysinpain · 19/08/2020 22:15

@whiteroseredrose

Being exempt from wearing a mask doesn't prevent you from being able to spread the virus.

To everyone around you you are a potential risk.

So far if I find myself close to someone without a mask I will glare and mutter as I stalk away.

I think the best compromise if you really can't wear a mask is to be absolutely scrupulous about maintaining a good 2 metre distance.

You're a disgrace. A judgmental and closed minded disgrace. What if you were diagnosed with Lung Cancer but were a widow to a small child and had to go get food because the cheapest shop doesn't deliver and you have nobody to shop for you? Hmm

Wind your neck in

Monkeynuts18 · 19/08/2020 22:15

Ever since lockdown began I’ve been fascinated by the people who never lose the chance to recount a story about a stranger who came too close in a supermarket or someone they saw not wearing a mask.

I suppose anonymous - potentially fictional - strangers are a very easy target for criticism.

RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 19/08/2020 22:15

@HaveSomeTea

The blame lies firmly at the door of people taking the mickey and not wearing masks for any other reason than they can't be bothered to.

Exactly. They’re usually easy to spot though as they can be found loudly talking to their friend telling them ‘No fuckers telling me Ive got to wearing a mask, they can’t prove I’m not exempt.’ 🙄 Fucking idiots.

These won't be the ones being challenged though - will they?

Clearly these are gobby people prepared to stand up for themselves. People might mutter (but only if they are sure they won't be seen muttering)

No the Caring, Understanding, Nice, 'Telling it like is is' people, will only say anything to those they perceive as weaker than them, less likely to tell them to 'Mind their own business'.

After all they are GOOD people and should be allowed to judge and condemn and police others in total safety.

WHAT do you not understand about the Government Directive to 'MIND. YOUR. OWN. BUSINESS.'

Noneformethanks · 19/08/2020 22:16

I am exempt.

I she tried various masks and shields. I can’t wear Them.

I have a lanyard and a badge on it declaring clearly that I am exempt from wearing a mask.

I still got abuse the other day in a shop.

I have to go out. I had to go to the hospital today for an appointment relating to one of the conditions that makes me exempt.

Why should I have to tell a random stranger my trauma and medical history?

Alwaysinpain · 19/08/2020 22:17

[quote AmICrazyorWhat2]@Alwaysinpain I hear what you’re saying, it’s not pleasant wearing a mask and it does affect your breathing - but my Dad, who has COPD, is wearing one. So I think we have to do our best to wear them.

Of course, some people really can’t and that’s fair enough as long as everyone practices social distancing as best they can.[/quote]
I beg your pardon?! So because your Dad manages, then every other exemption is invalid?!?!

You really need to read the regulations. The law. It clearly states some are exempt and should NOT wear a mask.

Grow up

HeIenaDove · 19/08/2020 22:17

I bet Beer Guts Brian here has spent time in a pub without wearing one before challenging this young woman.

twitter.com/naijagyaldee/status/1290212852310016000?s=20

graziadaily.co.uk/life/in-the-news/face-covering-public-transport-rules/?fbclid=IwAR3w6rL8PQivkHQgF-sp6N98nS25keszFNGih3FzLUzIzS91BNZFoJVi1-c

MMN123 · 19/08/2020 22:18

[quote Monkeynuts18]@MMN123

Actually I think it is a legal requirement: www.gov.uk/government/publications/face-coverings-when-to-wear-one-and-how-to-make-your-own/face-coverings-when-to-wear-one-and-how-to-make-your-own

Not a legal requirement for the public to enforce, though![/quote]
You’re quite right - I stand corrected! Shows how much attention I’ve been paying.

In that case, it’s up to individual shops or companies to enforce it. If you are concerned they don’t, then don’t shop there. Write and complain to the company. But still not ok to confront.

Those who are concerned will shop in the places they feel take it seriously. Other places will lose customers or their staff will end up off sick. Market forces will win out.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 19/08/2020 22:20

@Alwaysinpain. That’s not what I said. I said that people need to try and wear them if they can, to protect others. I don’t u set stand why you wouldn’t want to protect other, possibly more vulnerable people, from your germs?

If not, practice social distancing as best you can. Don’t stand close to other people, etc. That’s what’s happening where I live and our numbers are decreasing.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 19/08/2020 22:20
  • understand
HeIenaDove · 19/08/2020 22:21

This young woman has waived her anonymity to talk about this after receiving no response from her MP.

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/aug/10/survivors-say-they-are-being-stigmatised-for-not-wearing-masks

Rape survivors say they are being stigmatised for not wearing masks
Campaigners say survivors are being castigated despite fact that covering face can trigger flashbacks and panic attacks

When Georgina Fallows even contemplates putting on a mask, the flashbacks to her rape can be overwhelming and debilitating. She is not alone.

Rape survivors are among those voicing deep concerns about the stigma and ensuing “mask rage” attached to not wearing a face covering in shops, on transport and in other public places, prompting calls for better recognition of legitimate reasons why people are exempt.

A number of rape and sexual abuse survivors have told the charity Rape Crisis they are so scared of being confronted and verbally abused for not wearing face masks that they are avoiding places where they may be challenged.

“A significant proportion of rape survivors had their mouths or noses covered, or were choked or smothered, as part of the abuse and violence they experienced,” said Kate Russell, the national spokesperson for Rape Crisis England and Wales. “Covering their face and nose now can trigger flashbacks, panic attacks and severe anxiety.”

Severe distress is recognised by the government as a reason for a legal exemption from the mandatory use of face coverings. But rape victims still fear they will be castigated.

Russell said: “There’s a lot of assumptions that people who aren’t wearing face masks are behaving that way because they’re selfish, stupid, careless or a combination of all three. This lack of awareness is creating legitimate anxiety among rape survivors that if they go out and about they might not be met with empathy and care.”

Advertisement
Fallows, a 29-year-old solicitor, suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and cannot bear to have her mouth covered, years after her experience of rape.

“For part of my rape, he had his hand over my mouth. As a result, anything over my mouth – even an oxygen mask – can trigger a flashback. And that is hugely distressing. Physically, it feels like I’m back there again and he’s raping me and I am dying,” she said.

The distress she suffers amid flashbacks can be so severe that paramedics have felt it necessary to call the police to hold her down so they can sedate her. “It’s absolutely horrendous. I would like to be able to wear a mask, not just for my own health, but because I don’t want to make other people feel uncomfortable. But even the thought of putting on a mask makes me very, very, very panicky.”

Guardian Today: the headlines, the analysis, the debate - sent direct to you
Read more
When she tried to get her hair cut after lockdown, another customer interrogated her about her lack of a mask, refusing to accept Fallows’ reply that she was exempt.

“She told me that was ridiculous and said I had no proof. I cried all the way home. She truly believed that I was a self-centred, ignorant girl who didn’t give a shit about anybody else. I felt completely worthless.”

Since then, whenever she has tried to go to an enclosed public space without a mask, she has been challenged. She is now avoiding all shops and public transport which, since she has no car, is severely restricting where she can go. “I can’t see my family, who live two hours away. If I want to go anywhere, I have to walk.”

She fears this could leave her vulnerable to another attack – she was dragged off the street by her rapist – and so spends a lot of time alone in her bedroom. “I’ve tried so hard to rejoin life again, as it were. But it feels like it has all been taken away again

She contacted her MP, local councillor and mayor to urge them to mount a public awareness campaign about the legitimate reasons for mask exemptions, but received no response.

She has waived her right to anonymity to raise awareness. “People feel like they have the right to challenge you, and that is awful. You wouldn’t look at me and know I’d been raped, but I was, and it’s a huge problem for me. I spend most of my time trying to forget what happened to me. I don’t need to be challenged about this three or four times a day, just trying to live my life. All it does is remind me of something I’m desperately trying to forget.”

Rape Crisis wants shops and public transport companies to display signs and remind customers there are legitimate reasons people may not be wearing masks, which may not always be visible or obvious, and discourage customers from challenging each other.

The Oxfordshire Sexual Abuse and Rape Crisis Centre has compiled a list of ways in which some survivors of sexual violence have found it possible to wear face coverings.

“The list offers support and advice for survivors around face coverings and how they can perhaps make the experience of wearing a face covering less traumatic,” said Russell. She urged any survivor who is distressed or concerned about wearing a face mask to get in touch with Rape Crisis nationally or a local service

Iknowthingsthatwillhappen · 19/08/2020 22:21

Thats fair enough for people exempt. (Im wondering why anyone suffering with trigeminal neuralgia can't wear a mask, but Im sure someone will come along and tell me)

Alwaysinpain · 19/08/2020 22:22

[quote AmICrazyorWhat2]@Alwaysinpain. That’s not what I said. I said that people need to try and wear them if they can, to protect others. I don’t u set stand why you wouldn’t want to protect other, possibly more vulnerable people, from your germs?

If not, practice social distancing as best you can. Don’t stand close to other people, etc. That’s what’s happening where I live and our numbers are decreasing.[/quote]
You don't understand why I - ME wouldn't want to protect others?! Are you having a laugh?! You have zero idea as to why I'm exempt! You're buying a disabled person without the foggiest clue what their illnesses are! You should be ashamed of yourself. You have been reported to MNHQ

Alwaysinpain · 19/08/2020 22:23

*bullying

whiteroseredrose · 19/08/2020 22:23

What if you were diagnosed with Lung Cancer but were a widow to a small child and had to go get food because the cheapest shop doesn't deliver and you have nobody to shop for you?

As I said, I'd be scrupulous about keeping 2 metres away from everyone.

In my local Sainsbury's I feel like I'm the only person still doing this. With my mask on I still wait at the top of an aisle until it's nearly vacant and I can keep my distance. And I wait for the people in front of me to finish with a shelf before I approach it. Always a couple of metres away.

Without a mask I'd be even more careful.

HeIenaDove · 19/08/2020 22:23

DH has COPD He wears a visor.

Sparklebelle1024 · 19/08/2020 22:24

I’ve been shouted at and challenged on a few occasions, the one that sticks out the most is the B&Q worker lady who was on the door telling me to make sure I had proof (I carry proof of my medical conditions in my handbag) so if the police stop me they won’t give me into trouble - cue my 7year old ASD daughter going into panic mode thinking her mum was gonna get arrested!!
What an idiot! I get she was following her store policy or whatever but FFS!!!
I now just say look I’m medically exempt and don’t have to tell you what conditions I have.

Alwaysinpain · 19/08/2020 22:25

@whiteroseredrose

What if you were diagnosed with Lung Cancer but were a widow to a small child and had to go get food because the cheapest shop doesn't deliver and you have nobody to shop for you?

As I said, I'd be scrupulous about keeping 2 metres away from everyone.

In my local Sainsbury's I feel like I'm the only person still doing this. With my mask on I still wait at the top of an aisle until it's nearly vacant and I can keep my distance. And I wait for the people in front of me to finish with a shelf before I approach it. Always a couple of metres away.

Without a mask I'd be even more careful.

So you're implying that all those who are mask exempt fail to practice social distancing, just because of your experience in Sainsburys?!

HmmConfused

MMN123 · 19/08/2020 22:26

[quote whiteroseredrose]@Goyle I try to keep my distance but in the supermarket one minute I'm choosing which jam to buy for DH and the next minute some bugger without a mask is leaning over my shoulder and breathing all over me.
[/quote]
Yes it’s definitely a pest having to learn to be more attentive to people around you while simultaneously thinking about shopping but I expect we will all become more skilled at that in time.

Noneformethanks · 19/08/2020 22:26

[quote AmICrazyorWhat2]@Alwaysinpain. That’s not what I said. I said that people need to try and wear them if they can, to protect others. I don’t u set stand why you wouldn’t want to protect other, possibly more vulnerable people, from your germs?

If not, practice social distancing as best you can. Don’t stand close to other people, etc. That’s what’s happening where I live and our numbers are decreasing.[/quote]
I’m mask exempt.

I practice social distancing.

How dare you,infer that I and others like me are not taking appropriate precautions.

HeIenaDove · 19/08/2020 22:26

@Iknowthingsthatwillhappen

@PhilCornwall1 has the condition you mentioned And hes good at explaining it to the hard of thinking.

macaroniinapot · 19/08/2020 22:26

It makes me so sad to think that people feel they have to wear lanyards or avoid going out.

This pandemic has brought out the absolute worst in so many. It's like people are revealing in the chance to inspect and judge the people around them.

Masks are one small way of helping stop the spread. Personally I don't care if people wear them or not, for medical reasons or if they just don't want to. Because I recognise that I can't control other people. As I'm able to, I wear one. Is it really that big of a deal?

To the people defending the bizarre mask policing ... Are you going around measuring the distance between people passing in shops? Using a UV lamp to inspect hands? Get a grip

macaroniinapot · 19/08/2020 22:28

Hardly any of the staff in my local Sainsbury's wear them

They don't have to?!

There are enough rules without people making up their own.

Going shopping for a bit is very different to working for hours on a shift, lifting products off the shelves etc.

missingmum · 19/08/2020 22:29

@IdblowJonSnow

I feel for you, however I got on a bus the other day and only 2 people out of 7 had masks on. I was really annoyed but said nothing. I just dont believe that all of those 5 had a hidden disability. But I am sorry for the minority who do and get shit. Bus driver said buggar all. I wont be getting a bus again any time soon.
Bus drivers tend not to say anything due to the threat of violence and abuse they receive!

It not their job to police it, simply saying "don't let them on" does not work!
After the first week of mandatory face coverings on public transport my brother (London bus driver) was almost close to a breakdown due to the stress of trying to enforce face coverings
Abused verbally and once physically , other bus users moaning that he'd stopped the bus and wouldn't move unless face mask was on, got a complaint for this so his managers said do not try to enforce it if you feel threatened, was spat at and called ever name under the sun.

OwlBeThere · 19/08/2020 22:30

@AmICrazyorWhat2 I’m sure you’re not trying to be quite so patronising. Your dad is one person. My mum with COPD can not tolerate a mask at all.