To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

[PennyDreadfuI]

Another mask thread but I'm not going to apologise because I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this sort of thing.

I can't wear a mask because I have trigeminal neuralgia and I've lost count of the stares, comments and filthy looks I've had (and yes, I do wear a lanyard, even though I'm not keen on advertising the fact that I have a hidden health condition). I've heard of people not being allowed on buses, being challenged by staff to explain their reason for exemption and being told they can't enter shops despite being exempt (none of which is legal). I've been told I should wear a visor (I can't, and they're next to useless anyway - Scotland have just banned them unless they're worn with a mask), that I should just stay at home (I can't and neither do government guidelines suggest I should), that I shouldn't use buses (I don't drive and can't walk long distances or cycle because I have inflammatory arthritis) and that I'm selfish (I'm not - if I could wear a mask, I would).

I understand this is a contentious issue but please, can people just think for a minute before they judge or comment? Exemptions are there for a reason - those who are sticklers for The Rules should surely accept and respect this one, too. It's awful that people are too scared to go out for fear of what's essentially discrimination.

The pandemic is bad enough by itself - let's not lose our sense of empathy and humanity, too.

@Looking4wards

A lot of people saying it's nobody else's business. I don't understand that. If I'm in a shop, someone isn't wearing a mask and isn't socially distancing then I think it is my business, because it's my health they're risking.

And your medical degree is no doubt extremely useful when assessing a complete strangers explanation for why they aren't wearing a mask? You have no right to ask and, like most of the rest of us, no medical skills on which to base a judgement on the answer.

Everyone hates being at risk, and you are in a riskier position than many, but that doesn't give you the right to question others about something which may be very personal.

Problem is that for every genuine exemption, there's probably about twenty people taking the piss that simply can't be arsed to wear on, or think that the critical area to keep covered is their neck. If no one is challenged, then the few wearing a mask will dwindle further still.

I was in a gallery last week - a woman was shouting at a security guard who had motioned to her to put a mask on that she was exempt - and kept it up for about 5 minutes, shouting and spitting her germs across the gallery.

[quote NoMoreFlowers]@vanillandhoney

There's really no need for such venom. Maybe if you could explain things in a more calm and measured way, people would be more likely to listen[/quote]
There's plenty of reason for venom.

You're basically saying that it should be okay to stop disabled and other vulnerable people and challenge them about their disabilities or mental health conditions.

Why on earth would you consider that to be acceptable behaviour?

@Goyle I try to keep my distance but in the supermarket one minute I'm choosing which jam to buy for DH and the next minute some bugger without a mask is leaning over my shoulder and breathing all over me.

Such is life at the moment, I think YABU for asking people to stop policing masks. It is important that the majority wear them, for your protection too. The more people who don't wear them the less effective it is for the minority who do. People with medical conditions who can't wear them are likely to be the vulnerable who were shielding, precisely the people that the mask wearing is supposed to be protecting.

It's not a nice way of life at the moment but we must all do our bit by wearing a mask, and if you can't wear a mask then you should do your bit by being willing to justify it.

People shouldn't be so awful about it though and of course the only asking should be by those in a position to do so (bus drivers, shop assistants etc). But it's not the time to be defensive and offended when questioned, otherwise once people stop asking then the more inclined the selfish will be to stop wearing a mask when they have no valid reason not to wear one.

It's uncomfortable being questioned, but wearing a mask is uncomfortable too.

Hear hear OP.

Small-minded vigilantes make me sick. I made a complaint just a few days ago in a shop about a fellow customer who took it upon herself to berate a couple of lads who weren't wearing masks. None. Of. Her. Business.

The manager agreed with me and reiterated what I had said.

Sorry if this has already been suggested but what about wearing one of those plastic shields instead. I know you don’t have to but if it saves you from all the ‘stares’ it might be worth it.

I have come to realise this year how many stupid, ignorant, people actually live both here and in america. Their unpleasantness to their fellow man is depressing. @PennyDreadfuI

What amazes me is how everyone thinks masks work!?

They don't .....

YANBU OP.

I don't have a valid reason to not wear one so I try but I'm 32 weeks pregnant and nausea has returned with a vengeance. I had to take mine off while on a bus today because it was breathe properly or vomit everywhere. Someone shot me a dirty look and honestly it didn't bother me in the slightest - their problem not mine. Don't be afraid of the mask police!

@whiteroseredrose

Being exempt from wearing a mask doesn't prevent you from being able to spread the virus.

To everyone around you you are a potential risk.

So far if I find myself close to someone without a mask I will glare and mutter as I stalk away.

I think the best compromise if you really can't wear a mask is to be absolutely scrupulous about maintaining a good 2 metre distance.

See, all good here once you drop the glaring and muttering!!! The rest you are doing perfectly!

It’s pathetic. These people are pathetic

Don’t often say this about mumsnet but I think hearing some of the many reasons people can’t wear them on here has given me a great understanding of something I wouldn’t have known about. I saw someone not wearing one the other day in local shop and immediately thought about the many reasons why she wasn’t and it has made me more compassionate

@ItsIslandTime

Sorry if this has already been suggested but what about wearing one of those plastic shields instead. I know you don’t have to but if it saves you from all the ‘stares’ it might be worth it.

I've tried one and I still struggled to breathe which I genuinely wasn't expecting! Makes sense though I suppose when you think about carbon dioxide hitting the shield and then us breathing that in, instead of oxygen. I nearly passed out (as you can probably tell, I have respiratory issues)

People with medical conditions who can't wear them are likely to be the vulnerable who were shielding, precisely the people that the mask wearing is supposed to be protecting.

But this simply isn't the case. Plenty of conditions that mean you can't wear a mask don't make you medically vulnerable to COVID. To name a few - autism, sensory processing disorders, PTSD, nerve damage to the face or head areas and anxiety. Hundreds of thousands of people have those conditions and won't be able to wear a mask.

I'm really sorry OP. It sounds completely shit.

You have made me even more determined to stand up for those who are being bullied and hectored about this issue if I hear it.

I hope for your sake, and people in the same boat, that this madness dies down soon.

@vanillaandhoney
I'm not saying that randomly challenging disabled people is acceptable at all. I was simply asking a genuine question to try to increase my understanding. You've genuinely helped me with that, but you didn't have to be so unpleasant in the way you did it.

Cloth masks are a waste of time anyway. So not only are these people pathetic, they are also dumb as fuck.

(I wear one because I legally have to. And I can. I couldn’t care less if someone can’t.)

@MMN123 Thank you for making the same point I was trying to make but in a much better way.

@looking4wards in my job I can remind people to wear one but I cannot force them Customers are also not obliged to present an exemption card or sunflower lanyard. Though many do, because they get abused by vigilantes, which is sad. I can work without a face covering as per the guidelines but as a courtesy I wear a cotton one. The police place not wearing a mask as low-grade antisocial behaviour. They are the only ones who can challenge my customers and investigate their claim of exemption. You, and I, have no business challenging anyone, as per the Government guidelines.

Its funny how people want us all to do our bit and all protect each other now after spending ten years voting for individualism

OP, having suffered with what was originally diagnosed as TN, thankfully was a complex dental issue, my heart goes out to you. The pain is indescribable and I didn’t actually have it in the end , probably only half as severe and I could hardly breathe for pain. Just tell them to bloody butt out.

And I think that there are so many people who have entirely forgotten how low infection rates are compared to February and March when no one was wearing a mask, and that hospitalizations and deaths are virtually negligible, and that no one can spread a virus they don't actually have. Get a fucking grip.

If someone cannot wear a mask, why go out and spread it around?

Because it's extremely unlikely that they have it. So they won't be 'spreading it around'.
Even in the extremely unlikely event that they do have it but are asymptomatic, it's extremely unlikely that they'll pass it on - mask or not.
In the now infinitesimal chance of them having it and being able to pass it on, a mask will only have a tiny amount of chance of making any difference.

Honestly - the amount of angst and bad feeling that this stupid mask rule generates is huge compared to the tiny chance they might do any good.

The government are bonkers in thinking it was a good idea.

[quote NoMoreFlowers]@vanillaandhoney
I'm not saying that randomly challenging disabled people is acceptable at all. I was simply asking a genuine question to try to increase my understanding. You've genuinely helped me with that, but you didn't have to be so unpleasant in the way you did it.[/quote]
I do apologise if that's how I came across but the way I've been treated makes me feel very angry. I have autism and I can't wear a mask but the judgement from other people makes me not want to leave the house.

I still have bills to pay and I have to work and leave my home. But sometimes it feels like people would rather see me locked up for the foreseeable future just because I can't wear a face covering

Cloth masks are a waste of time anyway. So not only are these people pathetic, they are also dumb as fuck.

Pretty much!