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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

984 replies

PennyDreadfuI · 19/08/2020 12:58

Another mask thread but I'm not going to apologise because I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this sort of thing.

I can't wear a mask because I have trigeminal neuralgia and I've lost count of the stares, comments and filthy looks I've had (and yes, I do wear a lanyard, even though I'm not keen on advertising the fact that I have a hidden health condition). I've heard of people not being allowed on buses, being challenged by staff to explain their reason for exemption and being told they can't enter shops despite being exempt (none of which is legal). I've been told I should wear a visor (I can't, and they're next to useless anyway - Scotland have just banned them unless they're worn with a mask), that I should just stay at home (I can't and neither do government guidelines suggest I should), that I shouldn't use buses (I don't drive and can't walk long distances or cycle because I have inflammatory arthritis) and that I'm selfish (I'm not - if I could wear a mask, I would).

I understand this is a contentious issue but please, can people just think for a minute before they judge or comment? Exemptions are there for a reason - those who are sticklers for The Rules should surely accept and respect this one, too. It's awful that people are too scared to go out for fear of what's essentially discrimination.

The pandemic is bad enough by itself - let's not lose our sense of empathy and humanity, too.

OP posts:
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Noneformethanks · 22/08/2020 15:25

That’s actually one of the most disablist (ableist I’m never sure which one) and nasty things I’ve read about wearing and not wearing masks.

I’m utterly disgusted.

Noneformethanks · 22/08/2020 15:26

So these people looked at you innocently walking past outside, glared at you and waved a lanyard?

Gancanny · 22/08/2020 15:28

I've never seen anyone glare and shake a lanyard, aggressively or otherwise. How close to the entrance were they sitting/standing for them to have time to specifically pinpoint you and brandish their lanyard?

trappedsincesundaymorn · 22/08/2020 15:30

Its funny how peoples first reaction is to leap to me being morally superior.. im really really not.. I'd just like to stay alive

As would OH but as I've said many times before he has a very high risk of not surviving a seizure if he's wearing a mask. If he wants to go out after finishing his shift then he's fully entitled to. If you are that much at risk maybe you should decide if you need to be out.

Original poster
PennyDreadfuI · 22/08/2020 15:31

When I walk past McDonald's later (I'm not going in because I'm vegetarian, not because Widdlin told me I wasn't allowed) I shall keep an eye out for the hordes of glaring maskless shaking lanyards at passers by from in the doorway while simultaneously managing to stand within 2m of me. Will report back.

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Artykitty666 · 22/08/2020 15:51

I have nothing to add as mumsnet is the only place I've seen anyone even talk qbout masks other than to say, 'oh I like your mask'. But i love these hypothetical burly six foot tall men who are exempt from having medical issues that people are talking about.

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/08/2020 16:04

Hey, its what I think..

Im not going around making anyones life a misery because I disagree, nor am I challenging anyone, the two people who glared and waved lanyards at me I have no idea why they felt the need to do that, I was looking past them to ensure I wouldn't crash my wheelchair trying to get around them and their inability to SD.

But the world is full of people who think 'its my right to do whatever' and yeah, it is... but morally we all have a responsibility to do our bit... or have we passed that and now actually its a case of 'I'm alright, fuck the rest of ya' and no one thought to let me know?

Underhisi · 22/08/2020 16:06

"if you cannot wear a mask, then you need to limit where you go, what you do, who you see."

No more than anyone in a mask should be doing. These made up 'rulez' are pathetic.

PickAChew · 22/08/2020 16:06

@Artykitty666

I have nothing to add as mumsnet is the only place I've seen anyone even talk qbout masks other than to say, 'oh I like your mask'. But i love these hypothetical burly six foot tall men who are exempt from having medical issues that people are talking about.
My son is one of those. Though given his lockdown induced agoraphobia he's more doughy than burly, at the moment.
Underhisi · 22/08/2020 16:08

My son can't wear a mask. The scars he has from self injurious behaviour during lockdown show that he has more than done his "bit".

trappedsincesundaymorn · 22/08/2020 16:14

@Artykitty666

I have nothing to add as mumsnet is the only place I've seen anyone even talk qbout masks other than to say, 'oh I like your mask'. But i love these hypothetical burly six foot tall men who are exempt from having medical issues that people are talking about.
They exist. One of them is currently in the other room making a curry to eat later. Grin
Original poster
PennyDreadfuI · 22/08/2020 16:14

morally we all have a responsibility to do our bit

And we are. Social distancing, scrupulous hand hygiene, all the stuff we've been told to do, we're doing. We just happen to be unable to wear masks. The inference that we're somehow responsible for rising cases is pretty distasteful.

OP posts:
Original poster
PennyDreadfuI · 22/08/2020 16:16

@Artykitty666

I have nothing to add as mumsnet is the only place I've seen anyone even talk qbout masks other than to say, 'oh I like your mask'. But i love these hypothetical burly six foot tall men who are exempt from having medical issues that people are talking about.
Am I misinterpreting this, or are you really suggesting that 6ft burly men aren't likely to be genuinely exempt? If I'm not misinterpreting (apologies if I am), why would you think that?
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Artykitty666 · 22/08/2020 16:19

@PickAChew absolutely! I hope that didn't come across as disbelief. I keep reading about these burly six foot men who wouldn't be challenged whereas women and young people are and it made me laugh as though if you're a six foot man you can't have any medical exemptions and you're clearly aggressive and not wearing a mask to be a dick because you know you won't get challenge due to your intimidating stature. My gentle giant of a husband couldn't be further from that image!

Mittens030869 · 22/08/2020 16:19

@Artykitty666 I know what you mean. I've never had such a conversation IRL. I just wear a mask in shops and anywhere else where it's required to wear one and then remove it. I have to in my case, as I'm still coping with long-term Covid symptoms and I'm still coughing quite a bit and also sneezing now. I've tested negative now, but it's still embarrassing if I need to cough when out and about.

I don't like wearing masks at all. I feel breathless and sweaty, and my glasses steam up. And I also have MH issues including PTSD. So I do understand why some people aren't able to wear them at all. I therefore don't presume to judge people who don't wear a mask, my responsibility is only for me, and for my DDs.

Artykitty666 · 22/08/2020 16:24

@pennydreadful Not at all. It was because someone cited these men as 'well i bet they wouldn't be challenged'. And it made me chuckle because I thought, no. No they shouldn't be. Because their height and body shape bears zero relevance to their ability to wear a mask! 6ft 5ft or 3ft, you don't owe strangers your medical history!!! Anyone can have a hidden disability. Sorry, for being unclear!

cologne4711 · 22/08/2020 16:39

keep reading about these burly six foot men who wouldn't be challenged whereas women and young people are and it made me laugh as though if you're a six foot man you can't have any medical exemptions and you're clearly aggressive and not wearing a mask to be a dick because you know you won't get challenge due to your intimidating stature

I think the point is that if you are a 6 foot bloke you won't be challenged, whereas if you are a 5 foot woman you almost certainly will be.

I don't presume to challenge anyone, although the other day I saw a group of 4 people not wearing them in our indoor shopping centre and I somehow doubt they were all exempt. The shopping centre now has signs on the doors making it clear you need masks in the "communal" areas as well as the actual shops.

Yesterday I was in a cafe where I had to walk through the cafe to get through to the garden at the back. They wanted us to wear masks to walk through the cafe. That's not unreasonable. However, what was unreasonable was that they kept theirs on when serving customers but shoved them round their chins when they weren't! I am not sure that necessarily achieves anything...

Spikeyball · 22/08/2020 16:47

So to summarise, WiddlinDiddlin what you are saying is that severely disabled people like ds shouldn't be allowed out.

Noneformethanks · 22/08/2020 16:53

Since I can’t wear a mask, could someone tell me where I can go, what I can do, who I can see.

McDonald’s and hobbycraft are out, obvs.

Noneformethanks · 22/08/2020 16:53

Is Aldi ok but Marks and Sparks food not because that’s luxury and not for the likes of me?

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 22/08/2020 17:36

trappedsincesundaymorn you sum up the attitude of the thread but the hypocracy is breathtaking.

You're saying those who can't (which is really very few people but loads of additional people are usising them to refuse) wear masks have the right to go out but those who are medically vulnerable do not have any right to be included in society? Wtaf? I'm alright Jack with bells on!

If only it were only those who can't wear masks everything would work, as with vaccines and herd immunity, but the "how very dare you ask me to wear a mask, I know my rights" attitude means people don't need a reason.

The Argument against carrying an official exemption Card issued by GPs (No Details necessary) is also completely devoid of logic If you believe everyone not wearing a mask is automatically assumed to be exept! Vulnerability is advertised by not wearing a mask in itself!

There are none so blind as those who will not see...

Spikeyball · 22/08/2020 17:47

Trapped said

"If you are that much at risk maybe you should decide if you need to be out."

to someone who had said people who cannot wear masks shouldn't go out.

No disgust about the original comment I notice.

Artykitty666 · 22/08/2020 18:09

I am fortunate to be able to wear a mask but I would never question anyone regardless of their shape or size without provocation! You never know someone else's situation. However if i saw someone being rude to someone not wearing a mask (in a mask policey way) , i WOULD most definitely stand up against that. Hate bullies.

BorisLover · 22/08/2020 18:10

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Noneformethanks · 22/08/2020 18:15

@BorisLover

If its too uncomfortable to wear a mask just stay away from people. So you don't wear makeup, or brush your teeth either? Probs best you don't get too close to anyone then
It’s not about being uncomfortable.

I wash my face, brush my teeth And rarely wear make up.

What has that to do with my mask exemption?

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