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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

984 replies

PennyDreadfuI · 19/08/2020 12:58

Another mask thread but I'm not going to apologise because I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this sort of thing.

I can't wear a mask because I have trigeminal neuralgia and I've lost count of the stares, comments and filthy looks I've had (and yes, I do wear a lanyard, even though I'm not keen on advertising the fact that I have a hidden health condition). I've heard of people not being allowed on buses, being challenged by staff to explain their reason for exemption and being told they can't enter shops despite being exempt (none of which is legal). I've been told I should wear a visor (I can't, and they're next to useless anyway - Scotland have just banned them unless they're worn with a mask), that I should just stay at home (I can't and neither do government guidelines suggest I should), that I shouldn't use buses (I don't drive and can't walk long distances or cycle because I have inflammatory arthritis) and that I'm selfish (I'm not - if I could wear a mask, I would).

I understand this is a contentious issue but please, can people just think for a minute before they judge or comment? Exemptions are there for a reason - those who are sticklers for The Rules should surely accept and respect this one, too. It's awful that people are too scared to go out for fear of what's essentially discrimination.

The pandemic is bad enough by itself - let's not lose our sense of empathy and humanity, too.

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Tavannach · 20/08/2020 09:56

Oxford University's recent sudy says that face masks protect the wearer as well as those around them

Face masks work

I'm baffled by those saying that they shouldn't have to wear a lanyard if they've got disabilities. By not wearing a mask you're clearly signalling that you've got a disability.

Original poster

PennyDreadfuI · 20/08/2020 10:05

@PhilSwagielka I live in a big city, too.

I think it's easy not to notice the looks, glares and comments when you're not on the receiving end of them. When you have to travel by bus twice a day, pop into a shop to get your lunch, another shop to pick up top up shopping, walk through a shopping centre to get to those shops and so on you encounter literally hundreds of people every day and unfortunately a minority of those will judge.

OP posts:

Sleepyblueocean · 20/08/2020 10:28

"I'm baffled by those saying that they shouldn't have to wear a lanyard if they've got disabilities."

The law doesn't require you to and the law requiring something visible for randomners to see is never going to happen. Is there any country in the world where this required?

If people want those who cannot wear a mask to carry an exemption letter to show to officials if asked for then campaign for this, start a petition, write to your MP, make an effort.

Original poster

PennyDreadfuI · 20/08/2020 10:36

@Sleepyblueocean yes, I think it's worth reiterating yet again that lanyards, cards, badges etc are NOT required in law. They're there so people can feel more comfortable going into shops or using public transport but nowhere is it a requirement. The fact that something exists to make those with disabilities or health conditions feel more comfortable is pretty damning in the first place - why shouldn't those exempt feel comfortable and be free of judgement in the first place?

OP posts:

user1471505356 · 20/08/2020 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Noneformethanks · 20/08/2020 10:39

I would have no problem having an official card and being required to show it to a properly authorised Person like a policeman.

Not some random member of the public in a supermarket

And I don’t like displaying my vulnerability. I do it so as to not be abused, but I have been anyway so it’s a waste of time.

Noneformethanks · 20/08/2020 10:40

@user1471505356

Can you wear a visor? at least it shows you care.

Inference - because I do neither, I don’t care?

Tavannach · 20/08/2020 10:41

The law doesn't require you to and the law requiring something visible for randomners to see is never going to happen. Is there any country in the world where this required?

My point is that not wearing a mask is visible. By doing so you are showing that you have a disability.

Original poster

PennyDreadfuI · 20/08/2020 10:42

@user1471505356

Can you wear a visor? at least it shows you care.

As I said in my OP, I can't. I can't have pressure anywhere on the side of my head/temple.

Visors are not effective alone, anyway - the Scottish government have banned them unless worn with a mask.

And it's utterly unfair to suggest that those who can't wear a face covering 'don't care' and that we should simply try harder to somehow prove that we do.

OP posts:

LillianBland · 20/08/2020 10:45

@Noneformethanks

I would have no problem having an official card and being required to show it to a properly authorised Person like a policeman.

Not some random member of the public in a supermarket

And I don’t like displaying my vulnerability. I do it so as to not be abused, but I have been anyway so it’s a waste of time.

Your last paragraph stood out to me, because that is my concern for those that feel ‘obliged’ to advertise their disability. It just puts a target on a person’s back that they’re vulnerable and fuck knows, people with disabilities get a shit enough time of it as it is. The attitudes of disablist posters on here prove that.

Noneformethanks · 20/08/2020 10:47

I get upset with the disablist attitudes. I don’t understand why the same principles of moderation that are applied to racism can’t Apply to disablism. But they don’t because it’s subtle and hard to see in a lot of cases.

Tavannach · 20/08/2020 10:49

The fact that something exists to make those with disabillties or health conditions feel more comfortable is pretty damning in the first place - why shouldn't those exempt feel comfortable and be free of judgement in the first place?

Because there are a lot of arseholes who should be wearing masks but who're not is my guess. People see others not wearing masks and think they just cba. So your problem is with the refuseniks not with people who are concerned to stop the spread of the virus.

KeepingPlain · 20/08/2020 10:54

There are too many people not wearing masks and so the ones who are genuinely unable to are getting the blame.

Exactly. There's tons of people on mumsnet declaring they can't possibly wear a mask because it fogs up their glasses, for all of a few seconds, and because they are too daft to Google how to wear it properly to avoid that.

Those are the people that put you through this stress op. Thanks idiots.

KingFredsTache · 20/08/2020 10:54

I saw a waiter in a restaurant wearing what was basically a small upside down half visor, so it came up from his chin and stopped just at his nose. Absolutely fucking pointless!

Sleepyblueocean · 20/08/2020 11:07

"My point is that not wearing a mask is visible. By doing so you are showing that you have a disability."

Some people wear various things that indicate they have a particular religion. They don't have to wear a lanyard stating this.

EpidermolysisBullosa · 20/08/2020 11:08

I am unable to wear a mask.

Fortunately I'm in the privileged position of not having to go anywhere where a mask is required. I have been WFH since early March as I am vulnerable to Covid under the government's initial 'anyone entitled to the flu jab' criteria' and I only narrowly missed the shielding criteria for one of my many disabilities and medical conditions.

I haven't been in any shops/GP surgery etc. since 15 March bar one drive thru blood test in a car park. DH and I have done all our shopping online.

I'm not browsing any clothes shops, nor am I having hair cuts or going to pubs and restaurants. I haven't seen any of my friends or family since February, bar DH who I live with. I only leave the house 2-3 times a week for a walk where I avoid others. I disinfect all my shopping. If I had to go to the surgery tomorrow for a GP appointment I am less likely to have Covid compared to someone who has been meeting other people, going to supermarkets/clothes shops/hairdressers etc. even if those people have worn masks.

However, not everyone who cannot wear a mask is in my position. Many will need to get public transport to work and to the supermarket. People will also need to go to the GP, the pharmacy etc. Crucially, the exemptions exist to allow those who cannot wear a mask to access these essential services and to participate in day to day life. They absolutely should not have to stay at home and the nature of their exemption is no-one else's business.

I daresay that most exempt people are like me and would much rather be able to wear a mask!

Original poster

PennyDreadfuI · 20/08/2020 11:09

@KingFredsTache

I saw a waiter in a restaurant wearing what was basically a small upside down half visor, so it came up from his chin and stopped just at his nose. Absolutely fucking pointless!

Do you mean something like this?

I've been told I should try something like this. Complete, utterly pointless but at least I suppose it would show that I care.

(I wouldn't be able to wear one anyway)

To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

OP posts:

OverTheRainbow88 · 20/08/2020 11:20

Just cough, they’ll quickly move on!

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 20/08/2020 11:44

And also how do you know that people ar using the most minimal excuses not to wear one? Please don't tell me you've challenged people.

I've served two customers this morning - 1 not wearing a mask the other sporting an under the chin hammock. Both said to me they aren't wearing a mask because it mists up their glasses. I didn't ask, didn't mention it, they volunteered the info. Misty glasses isn't s reason for exemption is if? If it is then I don't need to wear one either.

I've also checked this morning. Customers are no more than three feet away from cashiers in my supermarket so everyone on telling me it's my responsibility to stay two metres away I'd love to know how?

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 20/08/2020 11:47

@Noneformethanks

Well no.one has an issue with the disablist attitudes towards the extremely clinically vulnerable do they? According to MN we should all stay home or just die

Noneformethanks · 20/08/2020 11:52

I never said anyone should stay at home or just die. That is a vile accusation.

Original poster

PennyDreadfuI · 20/08/2020 11:56

Well no.one has an issue with the disablist attitudes towards the extremely clinically vulnerable do they? According to MN we should all stay home or just die

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I've seen you say this on lots of threads but I've not seen anyone suggesting this. Lots of people have suggested that those exempt from wearing masks should stay home however. You're able to do your job - if we had to stay at home, we couldn't work, nor could we claim benefits. So how are we supposed to pay rent/bills?

OP posts:

Original poster

PennyDreadfuI · 20/08/2020 11:58

And to suggest that people have said the clinically vulnerable should 'just die' is actually vile in the extreme.

OP posts:

Noneformethanks · 20/08/2020 11:59

I want to see the evidence of someone having said that because I’ve not seen it.

LillianBland · 20/08/2020 12:04

According to MN we should all stay home or just die

Who said that?

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