To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

[PennyDreadfuI]

Another mask thread but I'm not going to apologise because I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this sort of thing.

I can't wear a mask because I have trigeminal neuralgia and I've lost count of the stares, comments and filthy looks I've had (and yes, I do wear a lanyard, even though I'm not keen on advertising the fact that I have a hidden health condition). I've heard of people not being allowed on buses, being challenged by staff to explain their reason for exemption and being told they can't enter shops despite being exempt (none of which is legal). I've been told I should wear a visor (I can't, and they're next to useless anyway - Scotland have just banned them unless they're worn with a mask), that I should just stay at home (I can't and neither do government guidelines suggest I should), that I shouldn't use buses (I don't drive and can't walk long distances or cycle because I have inflammatory arthritis) and that I'm selfish (I'm not - if I could wear a mask, I would).

I understand this is a contentious issue but please, can people just think for a minute before they judge or comment? Exemptions are there for a reason - those who are sticklers for The Rules should surely accept and respect this one, too. It's awful that people are too scared to go out for fear of what's essentially discrimination.

The pandemic is bad enough by itself - let's not lose our sense of empathy and humanity, too.

@Noneformethanks

I want to see the evidence of someone having said that because I’ve not seen it.

Absolutely nobody has, but Zebras trots it out on every thread like this. Nobody as wished death on anybody.

*has wished death

Actually throwing that accusation around is horrible. Just awful. No one has said that.

Have NCd for this.

Yesterday whilst I was with my baby in a local shopping centre I was confronted by a man who filmed me whilst demanding to know why I wasn’t wearing a mask. I carried on walking, he followed me for 30 seconds or so (still filming and harassing me) and then turned his attention to some other non-compliant member of the public.

The reason I don’t wear a mask is because I was the victim of a violent rape, my attacker covered my mouth and nose with his hand so I couldn’t scream or breathe, and I nearly suffocated. Since then being forced to wear any kind of face covering has triggered flashbacks and severe panic attacks. So I don’t wear one.

Should I have to tell that story to every random stranger who shoves his phone in my face and demands to know why I’m not wearing a mask? Should I have to explain it to you, @NoMoreFlowers, if you decide to “challenge” me? Perhaps I should just wear a t-shirt that says I DON’T WEAR A MASK BECAUSE I WAS RAPED in big black letters so every can see? Or alternatively I could just become a prisoner in my own home and not venture outside, not go to the shops, not take my baby to the park?

No. I shouldn’t have to do that. Because it’s got less than fuck all to do with anyone else.

Presumably that video is now doing the rounds on social media, where I and anyone else that bastard chose to pick on will no doubt be criticised and insulted by yet more people we don’t know who think it is their place to judge us, whilst congratulating him for taking a stand against the “snowflakes”.

Meanwhile, after being yelled at and followed by a random strange man whilst alone with my baby I had a panic attack and vomited in the street, and had to call my husband and ask him to stop working and come and pick us up. Last night I had nightmares and flashbacks of the attack and woke up screaming. I certainly don’t want to go out again any time soon so I may as well be a prisoner in my own home anyway.

@ITSNONEOFYOURDAMNBUSINESS I am so so sorry that this happened to you. How absolutely disgusting. Yet sadly one of the logical conclusions when people are hellbent on policing masks themselves.

Please report this - the shopping centre will have CCTV and clearly this man is doing it to others too, so there's bound to be a record of him doing so. My local police force has said that anyone experiencing this sort of behaviour (including abuse) should report it as they consider it a hate crime.

That's a good point, actually - most forces do consider this sort of thing a hate crime, as it targets those who are disabled or live with health/MH conditions.

Doesn't stop arseholes like this, though.

Or this.

It'snone - I'm so sorry

I hope people who think they have the right to challenge others read your experience and see the effects of their actions on those who are exempt.

Itsnone

@Hotcuppatea

I suspect that if you drew a Venn diagram with people who judged others who didn't do the NHS clap and people who are now judging those who don't wear masks, there would be a massive overlap in the middle.

I would label this part of the diagram 'Self righteous cunts'.

Can't believe you've missed the judgment in your own post! YOU are judging those that didn't clap for the NHS. So you're the 'clapping for the NHS' stasi, they are the 'wearing a mask' stasi. Not sure why you think their judgement is worse than yours?! I didn't clap for the NHS. I have a two year old and a five year old who go up to bed at 7:30pm and are rarely asleep by 8pm, so I missed it every week. Got a few comments from neighbours but it was literally fuck all to do with them.

@PennyDreadful - I can't imagine anyone would condone violence. A few odd twats maybe.

"YOU are judging those that didn't clap for the NHS."

The poster is doing the opposite of that. They are saying the judgers are the same group of people.

People need to understand that none of current guidance is expected to prevent us all from getting Covid.

The masks, the bubbles, the two metre rule, the hand washing and hand sanitiser are only about slowing the transmission to the point that our NHS is not overwhelmed.

IF cloth masks do work at all, a majority of people wearing them will achieve the goal of slowing the spread. The fact that some people can't wear them, some people will pretend they can't wear them and some people will point blank refuse, will all have been taken into account when the guidance was written.

If you go to a supermarket and 80% of people there are wearing masks, assuming they do help, you have a decreased likelihood of catching Covid. It was already very small. Even if everyone wore one, the probability of catching Covid doesn't decrease to zero.

We all need to accept that we aren't going to live in a world where everyone wears masks. There should be no thought of challenging anyone because it won't achieve anything, other than making those who genuinely can't wear one feel awful and unable to leave home.

Lockdown has been relaxed to allow us all to get Covid. Anyone who wants to avoid it needs to continue their own personal lockdown until a vaccine is available or for the rest of their life, whichever is the sooner.

we didn't clap for the NHS, not because they don't have value, but because it was very social in my street.

I must say, my position has moved quite a lot on this over the last few days. I think that perhaps I finally get it. Doh!

A few threads have helped me to see the bigger picture on covid. I will be getting the best masks for my vulnerable kids and I will be sending my eldest by cab to school.

Because it is my priority, not others.

I have and never would judge or challenge anyone who doesn't wear a mask, but in my area nobody does. So I need to do what I can.

I cannot home educate to the standard my children deserve. I can and have taught them to Social distance. And we will be able to carry on through this.

Thank you all x

I wear a lanyard for a hidden health condition. Nobody has openly commented yet. Yesterday had to go into a well known store with dh and ds. They were wearing their masks. I
had my lanyard on and the staff asked if I could wear a visor while in the store. I was fine with that. A woman behind us in the queue said "I can't wear a mask"(no lanyard) so they gave her one too. We were then seated in different areas in the store to wait for assistance. As we were waiting i saw a woman look directly ar me, sigh and shake her head. The other woman sat down and she did the same to her. We were wearing visors as requested. What a bloody cheek, like she knows anyone's issues. The woman behind me though who said she couldn't wear a mask probably confirmed the shaker's thoughts, because after about 2 mins wearing the visor she passed it to her kid who was then playing with it and she was sat wearing a mask...so clearly she COULD wear a mask. It's that type of person who makes the complainers think we're all shirkers who just don't want to wear a mask instead of people with genuine issues. We're not.

"My point is that not wearing a mask is visible. By doing so you are showing that you have a disability."

Not necessarily - it’s not just people with disabilities who can’t wear masks

@DeepTreacle

"My point is that not wearing a mask is visible. By doing so you are showing that you have a disability."

Not necessarily - it’s not just people with disabilities who can’t wear masks

Exactly - there are lots of conditions which don't count as disabilities (or physical vulnerabilities) which mean wearing a mask is impossible.

All the posters commenting on how masks protect others, not the wearer and saying we with health conditiona are accepting the protection but giving none in return, what should we do? Ask everyone to lower their masks as they pass us so we're less protected? Would that even it out? I think that's were the bitterness comes from, a sort of warped jealousy because some people don't want to wear a mask and think we're getting off scott free.

The police rightfully aren't bothered. I was in a shop earlier. A policeman came in to buy his lunch, he wasn't wearing a mask.

@PennyDreadfuI

Well no.one has an issue with the disablist attitudes towards the extremely clinically vulnerable do they? According to MN we should all stay home or just die

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras I've seen you say this on lots of threads but I've not seen anyone suggesting this. Lots of people have suggested that those exempt from wearing masks should stay home however. You're able to do your job - if we had to stay at home, we couldn't work, nor could we claim benefits. So how are we supposed to pay rent/bills?

You've never seen anyone on MN say that vulnerable people need to stay home or that we were all likely to die within the next year anyway (inference being our lives don't matter)? You're saying you haven't seen this on MN?

Here we are op. One example from a current thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4000631-Would-you-be-willing-to-be-put-under-house-arrest-in-order-to-save-lives

Today 00:24ComtesseDeSpair

No. Look, I’ll be totally blunt about it: I feel like I’ve done my bit by falling into line with lockdown and losing out on a lot of things that were important to me in order to protect the NHS from being overwhelmed at peak and helping to save some lives that way. I’m not willing to take it any further. If there are still people alive who are very vulnerable, I think the onus is on them to put themselves under house arrest to help themselves rather than everyone around them do so. And I expect the feeling is mutual: if I needed them to help save my life for any other non-Covid reason I doubt they’d give me the time of day.

Let’s face it, there’s never going to be agreement between someone who thinks that no vulnerable person should ever have to encounter someone not wearing a mask and who wants or needs to be able to go out, and someone who cannot wear a mask and who wants or needs to be able to go out. There is nothing either can say to make the other feel better. Personally I think setting too much store by any reduction in risk offered by masks is unwise anyway.

@LillianBland

According to MN we should all stay home or just die

Who said that?

On multiple threads posters say that the extremely vulnerable should have to stay at home because everyone has sacrificed enough in order to protect us and now we should stay at home and let everyone else get back to normal (I've given an example of this above).

Also on multiple threads posters state that the people who are most vulnerable would have died within a year anyway so why has the country sacrificed so much to save the lives of people who, according to MN posters, were going to die soon anyway. The implication being our lives don't matter as much as everyone else's. These comments abound on the Covid threads. Have a look and you will see them

LillianBland
According to MN we should all stay home or just die*

Who said that?

On multiple threads posters say that the extremely vulnerable should have to stay at home because everyone has sacrificed enough in order to protect us and now we should stay at home and let everyone else get back to normal (I've given an example of this above).

Also on multiple threads posters state that the people who are most vulnerable would have died within a year anyway so why has the country sacrificed so much to save the lives of people who, according to MN posters, were going to die soon anyway. The implication being our lives don't matter as much as everyone else's. These comments abound on the Covid threads. Have a look and you will see them

But no one on this thread has said that, so why mention it, thus implying otherwise? Very disingenuous of you, and I speak as someone with vulnerable children.

The quote by @ComtesseDeSpair doesn't say anything about thinking the vulnerable should ''just die'' I admit i haven't read the other thread but i have just read that quote about 3 times to check.

The poster is saying that they think the highly vulnerable should stay at home. Similar to the feeling that those who are unable to wear a mask shouldn't be allowed into shops, no? ...

It's a bit off, by the way, to quote a post from another thread thereby accusing them of inferring something as vile as them wanting the vulnerable dead, without giving the poster a heads up.