DH asked me what do cows eat. AIBU to divorce him immediately?

[TheIckabog]

We were watching a program about a fancy hotel where they have their own cows. There was a clip of the cows being hand fed apples.

DH exclaimed in surprise ‘I didn’t know cows eat apples!’ He then paused and said, ‘What DO cows eat?’ whilst looking genuinely puzzled.

I said to him what do you think they do all day in the fields? They eat grass/hay etc, how do you not know this? DH then shrugged and said he’d never really thought about it.

He is a well educated intelligent man in his 40s. We also grew up/live in a place where dairy production accounts for a large percent of the export, so it’s not like he’s never seen a cow in a field or on a farm before.

I am aghast. AIBU to divorce him immediately? I really can’t see any other option to be honest

Yet more vegans reinforcing the sterotype that they are judgemental and on on a moral high ground because anyone that dares eat meat is akin to a murderer and refusing any reasoned debate from actual farmers because they know better because they are vegans. And yet they cry loudly when called out on it.

Yet more vegans reinforcing the sterotype that they are judgemental and on on a moral high ground because anyone that dares eat meat is akin to a murderer and refusing any reasoned debate from actual farmers because they know better because they are vegans. And yet they cry loudly when called out on it.

Lol. I’m the only vegan in my household. I certainly don’t think of my partner and kids as murderers. They know what it has taken for these products to be available to them. They all drink some oat milk but do drink cows milk and know that a calf cried for its mum in order for them to have it. As long as they are aware of the facts, that’s all I ask. It’s their decision but everyone should know where their food comes from and how it got to them.

I’m all for reasoned debate, just not lies.

I really wanted farmers to tell us about their fascinating lives , this is why they have such a difficult time reaching out us to educate us . Some people want to disrupt the communication line between us .

Nope, again, I just want people to be aware of the facts. I believe if people knew more about farming, there would be more vegetarian and vegans. I don’t need to lie to make farming sound worse than it is. It does involve animals suffering even when welfare standards are ‘good’. Everyone should know that so that they can make an informed decision.

Are you ok with people fishing or hunting for food that they will eat @BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze ?

Nope, again, I just want people to be aware of the facts. I believe if people knew more about farming, there would be more vegetarian and vegans. I don’t need to lie to make farming sound worse than it is. It does involve animals suffering even when welfare standards are ‘good’. Everyone should know that so that they can make an informed decision

I just want people to be aware of the facts. I believe if people knew more about farming and visited farms there would be more people wanting to eat high welfare, local, sustainable meat. I don't need to lie to discuss the high welfare standards on British farms and my experiences of these. People can visit and see for themselves that the animals on my farm are happy and don't suffer while they are in our care. Everyone should be given the chance to experience that rather than just believe what they read on the internet, so they can make an informed decision.

In my experience the phenomenon of vegan/vegetarian farmers and family members of farmers is something that only seems to happen on the internet. I can think of one vegetarian in all of the hundreds (thousands?) of farmers and their family members I know, and for them that's a sensory thing rather than a 'moral choice'.

My exDH asked me what you add to egg to make egg mayonnaise.

@Scrowy

Nope, again, I just want people to be aware of the facts. I believe if people knew more about farming, there would be more vegetarian and vegans. I don’t need to lie to make farming sound worse than it is. It does involve animals suffering even when welfare standards are ‘good’. Everyone should know that so that they can make an informed decision

I just want people to be aware of the facts. I believe if people knew more about farming and visited farms there would be more people wanting to eat high welfare, local, sustainable meat. I don't need to lie to discuss the high welfare standards on British farms and my experiences of these. People can visit and see for themselves that the animals on my farm are happy and don't suffer while they are in our care. Everyone should be given the chance to experience that rather than just believe what they read on the internet, so they can make an informed decision.

In my experience the phenomenon of vegan/vegetarian farmers and family members of farmers is something that only seems to happen on the internet. I can think of one vegetarian in all of the hundreds (thousands?) of farmers and their family members I know, and for them that's a sensory thing rather than a 'moral choice'.

Not sure why you apparently don’t believe people can make a moral choice not to eat meat? Yy we should open up nice farms so people can see what’s going on. We should also open up factory farms, and industrial slaughterhouses so people can see the whole process from start to finish. Good idea. If anyone’s interested in seeing what really happens in factory farms and then the slaughterhouses, there’s plenty of YouTube videos available, both positive and negative. The outcome is always the same though, however they get there: millions of dead animals

do drink cows milk and know that a calf cried for its mum in order for them to have it.

This is where your educating your family poorly. Very few calves 'cry' (and how exactly does a calf cry? I think you're just using emotive anthropomorphic language to try and make a point) for it's mum - a few of them shout for their food, but not really for the cow. When they have food & company & shelter they're happy, same as human babies really, or are you suggesting that a mother can't ever leave her baby if it cries? Or is that different somehow?

The milk that they enjoy is far, far more likely to come from a cow that wasn't really bothered at all by the removal of it's calf - selective breeding removes negative traits. Some animals just don't care - we have a couple of sheep that don't give a shit about their shouting hungry lambs - but most of them do, selective breeding again by those pesky farmers who devote their lives to their livestock.

And people say that they 'don't understand how they care when the animals are killed anyway' - that's it, you've hit the nail on the head - you don't understand.

Are you ok with people fishing or hunting for food that they will eat @BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze ?

I’m ‘ok’ with anything, it’s not illegal and people should make their own choices. I’m just in favour of people knowing what’s involved to get your food to your plate.

When I was driving one day, an ambulance was behind us and my ex asked, why is 'ambulance' spelt backwards 😐
He still denies that he said it to this day, but i know the truth 😂

I just want people to be aware of the facts. I believe if people knew more about farming and visited farms there would be more people wanting to eat high welfare, local, sustainable meat. I don't need to lie to discuss the high welfare standards on British farms and my experiences of these. People can visit and see for themselves that the animals on my farm are happy and don't suffer while they are in our care. Everyone should be given the chance to experience that rather than just believe what they read on the internet, so they can make an informed decision.

Yes, I agree with some of that. I said if people saw what actually happens there would be
many more vegan/vegetarians. I also think, like you’ve said, there would be many more people ‘wanting to eat eat high welfare, local, sustainable meat.’ That’s better than eating meat from many places that do not have the welfare standards that we have here. I do not agree that animals don’t suffer and are happy all the time in your care although I’m sure they have some time that they are happy with you. They certainly suffer whilst be transported and then killed. There’s lots of propaganda on the internet on both sides of the argument. Farmers who say that cows and calves don’t cry when they’re separated and afterwards are adding to that. It’s just not true.

In my experience the phenomenon of vegan/vegetarian farmers and family members of farmers is something that only seems to happen on the internet. I can think of one vegetarian in all of the hundreds (thousands?) of farmers and their family members I know, and for them that's a sensory thing rather than a 'moral choice'.

I don’t know any farmers that are vegetarian or vegan. The children of my farming family are though.

@TeeBee

My exDH asked me what you add to egg to make egg mayonnaise.

Surely that's a fair question. Unless he already knew how to make mayonnaise?

This is where your educating your family poorly. Very few calves 'cry' (and how exactly does a calf cry? I think you're just using emotive anthropomorphic language to try and make a point) for it's mum - a few of them shout for their food, but not really for the cow. When they have food & company & shelter they're happy, same as human babies really, or are you suggesting that a mother can't ever leave her baby if it cries? Or is that different somehow?

Cry, call out, whatever you call it. For me, it’s awful to hear. I’ve seen calves with their mums. They don’t make that noise. The human baby analogy...not really sure where to start with that. We don’t farm human babies, so yes, completely different. 🤷🏻‍♀️
I haven’t ‘educated’ my family. They’ve seen it themselves. They seen calves born and taken away from their mums. They’ve heard the cries. We’ve stayed with my family on their farm, admittedly we don’t stay with them now when we see them as I do find it just too difficult. My partner and kids do drink a lot of oat milk but do still drink some cow’s milk.

The milk that they enjoy is far, far more likely to come from a cow that wasn't really bothered at all by the removal of it's calf - selective breeding removes negative traits. Some animals just don't care - we have a couple of sheep that don't give a shit about their shouting hungry lambs - but most of them do, selective breeding again by those pesky farmers who devote their lives to their livestock.

I don’t believe animals don’t cry for their young, they do.
Negative traits...devoted to their livestock. 🙄

And people say that they 'don't understand how they care when the animals are killed anyway' - that's it, you've hit the nail on the head - you don't understand.

Yep, I’ll never understand this part. I can only presume our definitions of the word ‘care’ are very different.

Well ,looked around the net at farming sites and of course PETA .They are nuts .My periods stopped at 40 , just stopped had bone scans and have to have them regular Not once has medical professional looked at me and said "milk will increase your risk of osteoporosis " . Nuts .

Well ,looked around the net at farming sites and of course PETA .They are nuts .My periods stopped at 40 , just stopped had bone scans and have to have them regular Not once has medical professional looked at me and said "milk will increase your risk of osteoporosis " . Nuts .

There’s loads of crap stuff on both sides, as with anything on the internet.

OK if this is the worst thing he's done it's really not so bad at all. He just hasn't bothered to think about a cow's diet. Who actually does? I have so many other things to ponder and google. lol Is he generally a good guy? attentive to you, not abusive, cooperative, funny sometimes, loving? or just a complete wretch and this is the last straw? Pick your battles wisely. If he is halfway ok, I'd forget this incident entirely.

terrimom

You're minimising it. How can the OP forget such a huge thing?

Lweji Really?

1. My EX wouldn’t let me take our son brambling due to the risk of badger attacks (townie).

1. My sister thought the tide went out during the day and came in at night. She had a Sea view from her bedroom growing up. 😒

Sorry if that came across sarcastically. I couldn't figure out how to delete it. Maybe I am not seeing it the same way as I am from the US?? I live in a suburb, don't see cows except at the zoo and don't farm them or hunt for my own food like some of the posters here. Also not a vegetarian anymore. Don't like many aspects of factory farming, but didn't think that had anything at all to do with the OP question about divorce. Guess I am just more willing to let some things go than other women. (Again I don't mean this nastily.) This would not be a marriage breaker for me. A topic of discussion sure, but divorce no. And I am divorced! lol

This thread has made me smile :-)

@terrimom

The OP isn't serious. It's a joke thread.

The OP isn't serious. It's a joke thread. It started out like that but then turned into an attack on farmers. I don't mind criticism but draw the line at downright misinformation.

@Trisolaris

I think I’ve got you all beat. . . My dp thought that dinosaurs and Neanderthals lived at the same time.

They do, I know plenty of dinosaurs at work and come across plenty of neanderthals on late night trains so they still live among us!

I LOVE Temple Grandlin and her story. Enjoy your online interview, if you haven't had it yet. She is an AMAZING human being. I suggest everyone get her book to to read about this fascinating woman....