DH asked me what do cows eat. AIBU to divorce him immediately?

[TheIckabog]

We were watching a program about a fancy hotel where they have their own cows. There was a clip of the cows being hand fed apples.

DH exclaimed in surprise ‘I didn’t know cows eat apples!’ He then paused and said, ‘What DO cows eat?’ whilst looking genuinely puzzled.

I said to him what do you think they do all day in the fields? They eat grass/hay etc, how do you not know this? DH then shrugged and said he’d never really thought about it.

He is a well educated intelligent man in his 40s. We also grew up/live in a place where dairy production accounts for a large percent of the export, so it’s not like he’s never seen a cow in a field or on a farm before.

I am aghast. AIBU to divorce him immediately? I really can’t see any other option to be honest

Vets aren't there when calves are separated from their mothers. Why would they be?

He’s spends most of his time on farms, his family run a farm. He has seen plenty of calves removed from their mums. He was the vet that was called when the cow was ill, he was helping his dad out when she had given birth 2 days before. The calf was removed very soon after birth, mum was poorly and then died.

A suffering animal is not a productive animal. That is the point. We had to put down one of our tup lambs this week because it was suffering and it broke my heart. We had a couple of ewes with fly strike and DS and I had to brush out the maggots and treat the ewes. They're fine now.
But according to some we would allow them to suffer. It's nonsensical

NoParticularPattern

It’s not worse case scenarios. Cows cry for their babies. My farming family do not deny this, you do. I refuse to believe your cows do not cry when their calves are removed and afterwards.

He’s spends most of his time on farms, his family run a farm. He has seen plenty of calves removed from their mums. He was the vet that was called when the cow was ill, he was helping his dad out when she had given birth 2 days before. The calf was removed very soon after birth, mum was poorly and then died. So he's a farmer's son and a large animal vet and doesn't believe in separating dairy cows from their calves. He must be in the wrong job.

A suffering animal is not a productive animal. That is the point. We had to put down one of our tup lambs this week because it was suffering and it broke my heart. We had a couple of ewes with fly strike and DS and I had to brush out the maggots and treat the ewes. They're fine now.
But according to some we would allow them to suffer. It's nonsensical

Of course they are looked after in terms of keeping them healthy... but that’s because
healthy animal = money.

Calves are not allowed mums milk because
Milk = money

You surely can’t pretend to be heartbroken about a lamb dying if you send animals off to be killed or use animals for your own gain all the time.

Ah right I thought you were implying that I said that could happen tomorrow

So he's a farmer's son and a large animal vet and doesn't believe in separating dairy cows from their calves. He must be in the wrong job.

Where have I said he doesn’t believe that? He’s very matter of fact about farming having come from a farming family and helps his dad out on his farm. He admits that the cows and mums cry. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You surely can’t pretend to be heartbroken about a lamb dying if you send animals off to be killed or use animals for your own gain all the time. Indeed I was heartbroken. We lost a good tup the other year and my shepherd and I cried like babies in the field. That is something you will never understand.
When farmers had to kill their cows in the 2001 foot and mouth epidemic, they got compensation but most were devastated. Why?

*calves and mums cry.

You surely can’t pretend to be heartbroken about a lamb dying if you send animals off to be killed or use animals for your own gain all the time
Yes this is what I couldn’t understand about the foot and mouth thing...but you were going to kill them anyway at some point. But I suppose we all have cognitive dissonance about different things in our lives. I know I do.

He admits that the cows and mums cry. How did this conversation come up? I can't even imagine it.

Yes this is what I couldn’t understand about the foot and mouth thing...but you were going to kill them anyway at some point. But I suppose we all have cognitive dissonance about different things in our lives. I know I do. You don't understand. These were breeding animals that generally live out their days. I have an old racehorse on my farm. She's an ornament in the field. I would never get rid of her unless she became ill.

It is really difficult to just get the facts. I actually think extreme vegan views and animal activists put a lot of people off being vegan or even from questioning farming. Most people don’t like to be extreme on either end. Equally farmer not telling the truth about what farming really is really annoys me.

I totally agree that extremists on either side are infuriating and unhelpful. What I find frustrating is veganism being viewed as inherently extreme, but 3 billion animals killed worldwide every day so people can eat them is somehow inherently moderate.

@derxa

He admits that the cows and mums cry. How did this conversation come up? I can't even imagine it.

That’s quite telling, that you can’t even imagine asking. Why not? It’s one of the first things I thought of, what distress must be caused to them.

Indeed I was heartbroken. We lost a good tup the other year and my shepherd and I cried like babies in the field. That is something you will never understand.

It’s true, I’m sorry - I absolutely can’t understand. I totally believe you, but I cannot make it make sense to me.

@derxa

Yes this is what I couldn’t understand about the foot and mouth thing...but you were going to kill them anyway at some point. But I suppose we all have cognitive dissonance about different things in our lives. I know I do. You don't understand. These were breeding animals that generally live out their days. I have an old racehorse on my farm. She's an ornament in the field. I would never get rid of her unless she became ill.

The massive piles of cows were ALL breeding animals? I tried to understand at the time and I did sympathise because the farmers were upset. But no I didn’t understand. Just remember the piles of legs sticking up in the air. The whole thing caused by human interference and breeding unnatural numbers of animals.

Indeed I was heartbroken. We lost a good tup the other year and my shepherd and I cried like babies in the field. That is something you will never understand.

Nope, I’ll never understand.

When farmers had to kill their cows in the 2001 foot and mouth epidemic, they got compensation but most were devastated. Why?

Without outing myself too much here, my job at the time was heavily involved in this epidemic. Most I dealt with were not devastated because the compensation was overly generous. Some found the process of replacing animals stressful. Some were worried about it happening again and diversified which they found very stressful.

That’s quite telling, that you can’t even imagine asking. Why not? It’s one of the first things I thought of, what distress must be caused to them. No it isn't telling BadTattoos says she has family that farm so why would she be asking a vet about calves separating from their mothers if she already knew about calves 'crying'. When I have a vet come out our conversation is about the sick animal in question not about implicitly understood farming practices. I had a sheep who broke his leg and me and the vet didn't start talking about weaning lambs.

How did this conversation come up? I can't even imagine it.

Really? You must struggle with using your imagination. Let me help you.
I was vegetarian for many years before becoming vegan. When you’re vegetarian/vegan and have family that farm, believe me, you have many, many discussions around this subject.

When I have a vet come out our conversation is about the sick animal in question not about implicitly understood farming practices.

You’re really struggling with comprehension as well aren’t you. The vet is a friend.

Without outing myself too much here, my job at the time was heavily involved in this epidemic. Most I dealt with were not devastated because the compensation was overly generous. Some found the process of replacing animals stressful. Some were worried about it happening again and diversified which they found very stressful. The crux of the matter is that you really hate and despise farmers. I think we''ll leave it at that.

The crux of the matter is that you really hate and despise farmers. I think we''ll leave it at that.

Lol... you mean you’ve failed to ‘catch me out’ with your questions about why the vet was there, then you failed to understand that my vet friend doesn’t have an issue with separating calves and mothers and then you failed to understand how a vegan who has family that farms could end up in a discussion about farming. I’m cringing for you and I think I’d want to end the discussion too if I was you.

And it’s the lies that I despise.

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

How did this conversation come up? I can't even imagine it.

Really? You must struggle with using your imagination. Let me help you.
I was vegetarian for many years before becoming vegan. When you’re vegetarian/vegan and have family that farm, believe me, you have many, many discussions around this subject.

Yy I agree. You do question everything. Like can this really be as awful as it appears at first sight? Are we really taking young animals away from their mums? Do sows really have to give birth in cages (I know not all farms are like that). Do young pigs really get sent to slaughter? Do their eyes when they’re in the transportation trucks really look like mine would if I was absolutely terrified and unsure of what was going to happen to me? These are some of the questions.

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

NoParticularPattern

It’s not worse case scenarios. Cows cry for their babies. My farming family do not deny this, you do. I refuse to believe your cows do not cry when their calves are removed and afterwards.

And of course it’s your prerogative to refuse to believe that. What you don’t get to do is outright call me a liar when I know for absolute certain that you have no first hand experience of our farm or our animals which would be the only possible way you could ever have any basis to call me a liar.

And they’re not babies. They’re calves as in the offspring of cows, not babies as in human offspring. You can call them mothers and babies all you like, it doesn’t make them human anywhere other than your head.