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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH asked me what do cows eat. AIBU to divorce him immediately?

595 replies

TheIckabog · 19/08/2020 09:38

We were watching a program about a fancy hotel where they have their own cows. There was a clip of the cows being hand fed apples.

DH exclaimed in surprise ‘I didn’t know cows eat apples!’ He then paused and said, ‘What DO cows eat?’ whilst looking genuinely puzzled.

I said to him what do you think they do all day in the fields? They eat grass/hay etc, how do you not know this? DH then shrugged and said he’d never really thought about it.

He is a well educated intelligent man in his 40s. We also grew up/live in a place where dairy production accounts for a large percent of the export, so it’s not like he’s never seen a cow in a field or on a farm before.

I am aghast. AIBU to divorce him immediately? I really can’t see any other option to be honest

OP posts:
BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 21/08/2020 04:29

My friend was shocked that the vet charged me to get my cat spayed. She asked why I didn't get her done on the NHS.

🤣 That’s amazing.

HeronLanyon · 21/08/2020 06:47

My friend was shocked that the vet charged me to get my cat spayed. She asked why I didn't get her done on the NHS.

This made me laugh a lot. The image of hapless cat (And smaller pets - maybe a guinea pig awaiting nail clipping) on a trolley waiting whilst all around the bloody brilliant but struggling nhs deals with life threatening emergencies etc
LOL

pentaplanet · 21/08/2020 07:06

My man does not know what a "hod-carrier" is , or a "foundry"...yet he is always banging on about how proud he is of his working-class roots!

derxa · 21/08/2020 07:17

I drove 20 miles through the countryside today. Do you what I didn’t see? A single cow. That's because you live in an arable farming area probably. I'm in the Scottish Borders. Farming is different in different areas.

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/08/2020 07:52

Over time, I have also had to explain that female cows can have horns, female goats can have horns and beards, and not to worry, the horse isn't dead, they sometimes just like to lie down.

I've had to explain this too. I have also been asked by children when the Shetland pony will grow its horn.

VeryLittleOwl · 21/08/2020 08:17

I live on the NC500 route. I've seen people in the associated Facebook groups asking if there are petrol stations up here or whether they should fill jerry cans at Inverness.

Yes, because we all bring the weekly shop back from Tesco on the back of a Highland pony...

NoParticularPattern · 21/08/2020 08:56

[quote LittleMissRedHat]@NoParticularPattern
And not all cows are out in the field in the U.K.- ours aren’t!

Are you a farmer? Where do you keep your cows then? Or do you mean, in the area where you live, as opposed to "your" cows?[/quote]
Sorry only just come back to this thread. Our cows are exactly that. Ours. We have two huge cubicle sheds (stalls, dividers, trying to think of a way to describe them that doesn’t make it sounds like your local leisure centre toilet cubicles) for the milking herd (so cows in milk and cows that are “dried off” so not being milked prior to calving. Then we have a calf shed which houses them in loose pens bedded with straw in social groups of 25, then larger versions of that for each age group. Our heifers get taken to one of our other farms to be turned out between March and October (ish, dependent on the weather- up north!) but that’s a max of about 300 each year that get grazed. The remaining 1100 are housed round the clock in our sheds, all of which at least comply with but most exceed the current welfare regulations stipulated by any and all governing bodies and milk buyers in this country. Our herd is considered high health and are fully farm assured.

Esspee · 21/08/2020 09:04

“The clocks are going back at the weekend so we will be getting another hour of daylight” said my DSIL. I didn’t comment, knowing it was just a figure of speech she was using...........then she stunned me by saying “that means we are going to be getting more feed in tariff from our solar panels.” 😳

FlamingoAndJohn · 21/08/2020 09:32

@derxa

I drove 20 miles through the countryside today. Do you what I didn’t see? A single cow. That's because you live in an arable farming area probably. I'm in the Scottish Borders. Farming is different in different areas.
I know.

My point was that we can’t base the idea of what happens in an entire industry on one small sample of it. Just because one person sees cows every day in a field eating grass doesn’t mean that all cows live in fields eating grass.
I didn’t see a single cow yesterday. That doesn’t mean that there are no cows or all cows were inside.

FlamingoAndJohn · 21/08/2020 09:36

Thanks for that information @NoParticularPattern.
The remaining 1100 are housed round the clock in our sheds
Would you look at that. Sheds/barns. Much of a muchness.

derxa · 21/08/2020 09:42

Just because one person sees cows every day in a field eating grass doesn’t mean that all cows live in fields eating grass. That's true. However I know how farming is in the whole of Scotland and the different systems in place there. And that's because surprise surprise I am a farmer.

NoParticularPattern · 21/08/2020 09:57

@FlamingoAndJohn

Thanks for that information *@NoParticularPattern*. The remaining 1100 are housed round the clock in our sheds Would you look at that. Sheds/barns. Much of a muchness.
Yes certainly. We call them sheds as to us a barn is for horses or straw, but one and the same really and not worth splitting hairs over! Just dependent on how you’re used to describing them I guess!
firstshift · 21/08/2020 10:05

@tabulahrasa

“I get a gem like this from my DH at least once a week! He is not stupid but exceedingly oblivious!

Recently he announced he didnt know Paul McCartney could play the guitar!!!“

Well, he’s mostly known for playing bass... so... that’s not that oblivious tbh.

he didnt know he could play anything! and the chance of him distinguishing between a guitar and a bass is laughable!
MsWonderful · 21/08/2020 10:21

I must admit I’m fairly uncomfortable with the whole animal agriculture industry the more I hear about it.
Probably one of the worst things is that calves are apparently taken away from their mothers soon after birth, so all the milk can be taken and used to feed humans.

lollymad · 21/08/2020 10:29

'My husband grew up thinking dogs were male and cats were female.'

Is your husband/are his parents first language English speakers? Just that in German for example cat is a feminine noun and dog is masculine. Boggles my Y7 students every year.

TheSunIsStillShining · 21/08/2020 10:36

There's a hungarian saying of "whipped cream cake" as a generic any cake with in and outside icing.
My husband just ordered some for his birthday from me and I had to enlighten him that there is no such particular thing. He will be 45 :D

Jamhandprints · 21/08/2020 10:52

@NoParticularPattern that's really interesting, thanks. So does that mean most of your cows dont get any exercise or sunlight at all?

GabsAlot · 21/08/2020 11:11

im enjoying tis thread but enough with the bloody cows!

americans think wales is n england-dh gets very annoyed by this

Scrowy · 21/08/2020 11:29

[quote Jamhandprints]@NoParticularPattern that's really interesting, thanks. So does that mean most of your cows dont get any exercise or sunlight at all?[/quote]
Answering for NoParticularPattern here but they get as much exercise in a shed stood around eating silage as they do stood in a field stood around eating grass - they have individual cubicles to sit/sleep in but they don't have to stay in them and can walk around and mingle with other cows.

The milking parlour is probably in a different building so they will also walk to and from it 2 -3 times a day.

For what it's worth in winter we house our cows inside in sheds with cubicles but they have the option of going outside into the field and yard adjoining the shed as and when they please. Given the choice most stay cosy inside eating silage and only come out for a bit of a nosy in dry weather.

MsWonderful · 21/08/2020 11:34

@Scrowy what happens to their calves when they have them?

booearing · 21/08/2020 11:48

My dad thought milk came from the milk man he didn't know it was from cows.

Scrowy · 21/08/2020 12:03

[quote MsWonderful]@Scrowy what happens to their calves when they have them?[/quote]
my calves (Male and female) stay with their mothers until they are about 6 - 7 months old (and far too big to still be bothering their mothers) They get fully weaned and are then kept separately from them in a shed/ field depending on the time of year.

Sometime between 12-30months old all of the males and most of the females get sold on as 'stores' to other farmers to fatten up, or go directly to slaughter. We keep some of the females to breed from ourselves and sometimes people buy females from us to breed from on their farms.

If you are asking me about someone else's dairy cows then again it depends on the system, but all the dairy farmers I know tend to use sexed semen if they are producing dairy calves (I.e reducing the amount of males born) or bull the cows with a beef breed. As it happens there is a market for meat from dairy bullocks at the moment anyway so in my view there is no reason really why anyone should be shooting male dairy calves at birth.

MsWonderful · 21/08/2020 12:11

@Scrowy is that unusual for the dairy industry? I mean unusual that the calves are allowed to stay with their mothers for so long?

DH asked me what do cows eat. AIBU to divorce him immediately?
derxa · 21/08/2020 12:35

Ms Wonderful Scrowy's cows are clearly beef animals not dairy.

MsWonderful · 21/08/2020 12:37

@derxa sorry I’m clearly no expert!
So is it correct that calves are usually taken away from their mothers soon after birth in the dairy industry?