If you are overweight, what, in your opinion, made you that way?

[SistemaAddict]

There's been lots of threads recently about weight inspired by the government trying to crack down on obesity yet encouraging us to eat out and posters bemoaning the lockdown lard/pandemic pounds. There has been lots of discussion about the causes of obesity or being overweight due to societal and financial factors but I wanted to ask what posters think made them either overweight or obese because reasons will vary. Certain medications and conditions can cause weight gain and/or make it harder to lose weight and the peri-menopause/menopause doesn't help.

I stopped breastfeeding a year ago and my appetite didn't return to normal after stopping so I gained weight. Then my asthma was bad from October onwards and my ability to go on bike rides was limited. Then lockdown and shielding and my 5 mile school hike up and down big hills went out of the window and I ate too many biscuits and chocolate and would eat in the evening while reading or watching tv. I gained around a stone and that took me into the overweight category.

In June I decided enough was enough and started 16:8 and limited myself to around 1250 calories a day. I bought a fitbit and started using my fitness pal. Both encouraged me to go on walks with the dc and to take more trips up and down the stairs than were necessary to meet my target of 25 flights a day. I stopped eating after dinner, watched my portion sizes and cut out most of the junk I was eating. I'm now a normal weight with a BMI of 24. I'm carrying on with my healthier lifestyle and improved habits but it's hard especially in the evenings when I want chocolate. My aim is to get to a BMI of 23 as that is where I look and feel best.

I don't want this to be a judgemental thread, or for anyone to fat shame posters, I just wanted to share my own reasons for weight gain and ask others' experiences because it's a very individual thing beyond "too many calories in vs calories out" and it can be very complex.

I don't like sweets at all. I don't like alcohol, either, so don't drink. I used to smoke.

@LimitIsUp

I've gained weight recently because I have plantar fasciitis, which means I can't weight bear on my feet for too long before my right food starts aching and hurting like a bitch

My activity levels have gone done drastically and my alcohol consumption has gone up

Here I am 28lbs later

Could you swim as a form of exercise instead? I’ve had PF and it’s a nightmare.

Being told by mother that she was suicidal because I didn't eat enough when I was little. Repeatedly. She also gave me drops that apparently increased appetite. No idea if true or just given for the placebo effect.
Abuse.
Never had breakfast and school "lunch" was jam croissants,mini cakes,cookies etc just sweet stuff. Ravenous by dinner time.
Fussiness.
Lack of portion control.
Food makes me happy. Like actually jumping on the seat with excitement,OMG I can't wait to eat this happy.
Being told I was so hideously fat since I was 10 (even when I wasn't) that by the time I was 20 I accepted it as fact and I might as well eat what I want.

Carb addiction.

The ones in bold are the main reasons though.

For me it's quite complex, though it started off as self abuse due to neglect (age to shut up the negative thoughts) then went to uni and ate cheap convenience food. Since then it's become a cycle. I hate how I look because I'm fat, so I have a treat to cheer myself up. Then I hate myself more and the cycle begins.

Alcohol & sitting around too much

Snacking on mass-produced crap non-foods (biscuits, chocolate)
Wine

Whenever I cut these down, I lose weight. Whenever I add them back, I gain it. There is around a stone between these two positions.

My actual meals are healthy.

Me being overweight has it’s root in childhood eating habits. We were always made to finish our plates of food, even if we didn’t like it, that became so ingrain through the years and was a hard habit to break.
In addition sweets, soft drinks, snacks etc was very restricted, only allowed on saturdays, or events like birthdays and xmas. So when I moved into my own place at 18 it was a free for all, not a balanced meal in sight, and junk whenever I felt like it.
So that’s how I gained the weight, then it’s been a mixture of bare minimum of exercise and still eating anything I want that kept it on.
The only time I lost Significant weight was in my mid twenties before I met my husband, I was deeply unhappy, all I did was work and sleep, barely eating. Not very healthy. Inevitably piled it all back On again when I got in a better place.
These days I eat fairly healthy, i love food though so eat whatever I want, but I rarely eat snacks and sweets anymore.
Up to Christmas I was in a very active job, but I hated it and I’m now in a regular 9-5 m-f job which I prefer. My old job kept my weight in check, but the reduced activity of the new one has added some, then lockdown added some. Since December I’ve gained 10kg, so I’m finally doing something about it. I’m on my 3rd week with a PT and nutritionists, I feel so much better for it, energy levels are up, I’ve lost 4 kg so far, mainly through the increased activity as my calorie intake hasn’t changed that much (1800 a day).
My long term goal is to lose 40 kg by next summer, that would just about put me in a healthy BMI, but I’m more interested in getting stronger and getting into a sustainable health routine.

Sorry about the essay 🙈

I’m 40. Over the past year I’ve shed 5 stone. I’m now the slimmest I’ve ever been as an adult. My BMI is still somehow 27, but I’m not too concerned. BMI is a population-wide measure, not an individual one. So while I am technically overweight, I’m really happy with where I am now. I’m really fit, and can run a 10k whenever I want, do 45 mins of spin, lift decent weights etc. I’ve dropped 10 inches off my waist. I think I’m looking pretty great!

But I digress. Why have I been so heavy?

Simple answers:

• lack of self control
• denial of extent of over eating
• linking of food to emotions
• greed

Other less simple answers: somewhat low self esteem. Defeatism. Generally anxious avoidant style. And a belief that excess is fun and some sort of enviable character trait.

I think innate biology plays a role too, albeit a small one for me. I do seem to put on weight easily. I’ve got a low BMR, even when I live an active life. I require quite a small amount of calories to function, so “normal eating” for others is “over eating” for me.

Anyway, some of that has changed in the last year. I’m no longer defeatist. I am in control. Some hasn’t. I need to keep the weight off now. Forever.

I like chocolate.

Age
Emotional eating due to mental health problems
Medication for said mental health problems
Emotional eating due to stressful job
It sucks

I eat too much unhealthy food and use it as a coping mechanism when my depression is bad. I've always been a big comfort eater.

Years of eating disorders. I've been everything from a size 6 to a size 30 and back again several times. At my lowest weight I was 6st 9 and my highest was just over 20st. At the moment I'm about 14st and a size 18 (don't know my exact weight as I don't have scales in the house). I was my 'happy' weight/size a couple of years ago - around 10st and size 12. I fear I'm on one of my upward trajectories right now.

I've had counselling, psychiatric treatment and tried every healthy eating plan known to man. But I'm almost 50 now and it'll never be sorted I don't think. I've been like this since I was 15 and it's caused so much pain, physically and emotionally. My metabolism is shot and I'm covered in stretch marks and saggy skin.

It all stems from an abusive childhood and two abusive marriages in my 20s. My father and both exHs regularly I was fat (in the case of my most recent exH, even when I was under 7st and being treated for anorexia. He would try to force feed me pizza, cake etc by smushing it into my face so I'd have no choice but to eat it 'like the fat pig' I am).

Being overweight isn't always just about loving food. I love food and hate it in equal measure. It's like a mortal enemy and a comfort for me at the same time. If I had one wish it would be to be able to view food the same way that those who have a normal relationship with it do.

I’m pretty sure I’m a little overweight. I look medium sized but I weigh a lot, I’ve always weighed more than I look. I’m pear shaped but solid, I walk and cycle everywhere (usually 7 miles a day, sometimes more) , swim in the sea when I can and do the odd home work out. I also have a reasonable vegetarian diet but I do have something of a chocolate habit.

I’ve spent my life trying to be super slim and I’m sick of it, if I’m a little overweight I’m overweight. I’m quite proud of my freaky, strong, big legs, they get me around. My boyfriend loves my big bum and curves and that’s given me confidence.

I get sick a little more than most people but I’ve been thin and I had the same problem. I don’t have any long term illness like diabetes or asthma. I feel fit and by body does everything I want it to do so I think I’m just made heavy.

If the government wants to give me advice they can, a free bike or free gym sessions I’ll go with it but I just think some people are made heavier than others.

Stress. Anytime I have anything stressful to contend with I crave something sweet. I am trying to control it by being "good" on other days. I also because of life circumstances do less exercise than I did at one stage and have had to make a conscious effort to put some more back into my daily routine.

Chronic illness over many years. Lack of sleep (from constant pain) causes the hunger hormone to rise. It's really difficult to exercise when it triggers the pain. My pain clinic shut during lockdown so I didn't get my regular treatment, so it got worse this year, thankfully they reopened a month ago but I'm not better as it's cumulative.
Also, when I didn't get my treatment I was mostly stuck in bed for about 3 months - I slept a lot (my GP temporarily prescribed me a lot of painkillers) but I've lost so much muscle. Not really gained much weight as I barely ate/eat many days but it's going to be dreadful to regain even moderate fitness.

My TDEE is under 1000 calories, apparently. Basically, my metabolism is buggered. I'm trying intuitive eating & losing just a few pounds at a time, then maintaining for a while to reset my body's natural "set point".

I started a more sedentary job, commuting by car, and was not living with anyone and had a supermarket around the corner so I had the ability to buy as much chocolate and eat whatever crap I chose. I had disposable income for the first time in a while and easy access to takeaways (moved from living in the country with my parents to living in a town centre on my own). It was an easy pattern to fall into.

I over-indulged. When I realised I really was not fitting into any of my current clothes I decided I had to cut back and get some exercise. I joined a gym (next to the supermarket!), I set up meal plans for the week, and I would try to walk around more at work. I then got a job in London, got rid of the car, and now a lot of my commute is walking. There is still the temptation of takeaways and treats all the time, and whilst there's nothing wrong with them in moderation I've learnt I can no longer eat shite in the same way I did when I was a whippet thin teenager. Alas.

My DM gave me a real fucked up view of myself worth based on weight. I was never overweight as a child or teen. I was told all the time about how my mum had been chosen to be a model when she was my age (it was just in her works place fashion show but you'd think it was Milan!) about how she was so thin and beautiful when she was my age because of how she used to cut out meals and see how long she couldn’t eat for etc. It was like it was something to brag about. She was massively overweight almost all my life so I think she was jealous of me being slim. She took me to slimming clubs when I didn’t need too. I was always made out to be fat she would insist on buying me clothes in larger sizes and described everything that fitted me as too tight. So I think I started to think of myself as fat. When I moved out I just ate what I wanted guilt free for the first time in my life. I thought I was already fat so it didn’t matter anyway. I’ve just got slowly bigger and bigger. I’ve got a thyroid issue which hasn’t helped. Even now she bangs on about weight and she loves the fact I’m bigger than her now she seems to get a real joy from it.

Not overweight currently but have been in the past. I think a lot of it is tied up in emotional eating which I have to keep an eye on. Also I’m a fast eater so eat more then I need to because I don’t allow my stomach to catch up. Eating more slowly and not using food as a comfort/reward has really helped, but it’s tough!

I just love food ... I cook from scratch, can afford (within reason) to eat anything - grilled salmon, steak etc but I just enjoy eating lots of food. My portions are too big. I don't eat fast food, takeaways or go to restaurants on a regular basis, people say cooking from scratch is healthy but not necessarily if you love cooking with butter and cream and bake delicious cakes!

I cannot blame anyone or anything except my lack of willpower. Having a couple of a glasses of a really nice wine accompanied by a big plate of cheese and crackers is enjoyable!

Having said that I am having success with low carbing & intermittent fasting - I can enjoy the large plate of cheese, just cut out the wine and crackers!

For me, age related, overeating and not enough exercise and steroids several times a year for a health condition that make me puff up.

Boredom eating, comfort eating mostly. Also portion control on meals. Doing better now as I had appendicitis a couple of weeks ago, which meant I had limited appetite and I'm trying to take advantage to reset my habits to what I need.

Boredom / stress snacking is probably my biggest weakness.

Emotional eating/low self-esteem
Lack of portion control

Depression and the inability to motivate myself to get out and exercise. Poverty, when I couldn't afford things like swimming and didn't do much walking because of where I was living. Comfort eating and stress.

I'm a few stone overweight, but my weight is usually pretty stable. Exams (A-levels, finals, masters) all contributed about half a stone each. I put on quite a lot of weight about 15 years ago when I was unemployed, moving house, my father had died, wrote my car off, and I ended up on citalopram.

Essentially, it's just me not exercising enough and eating too much, especially too much crap, but there's also a clear link with my mental state and whether I'm finding it possible to exercise, think about food and so on.

Binge eating following a traumatic incident. I had always been very slim, if not underweight, but as I gained weight due to bingeing, it actually didn’t look that bad on me, then it spiraled and I went to a size 16 from a size 6/8.
I have poor mental health (clinically diagnosed) and new medication has also made it difficult. However, I no longer binge eat (self harm by severe picking instead and sometimes cutting), have really improved my eating habits and trying to do more exercise. I hate being overweight.

Emotional eating. I've also had periods in my life where I've stopped eating, for the same reasons.
It's interesting that when I was not eating enough, or making myself vomit, people would say all sorts of nice things about how I looked, despite the mess I was in my head. They tend to be a lot more judgemental when I'm overweight, despite both being a direct result of a chronic struggle with mental health.

Most recently, I've been unable to do as much walking and general exercise as before, I had caring responsibilities and stress which added to me comfort eating, and I think the fear of Brexit food shortages also added to me subconsciously stocking up.

For me, and perhaps for a lot of others too, food is connected with security/insecurity. It's not moral failure, unless you count mental wellness or not as a moral issue (which it isn't).