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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you are overweight, what, in your opinion, made you that way?

592 replies

SistemaAddict · 19/08/2020 09:31

There's been lots of threads recently about weight inspired by the government trying to crack down on obesity yet encouraging us to eat out and posters bemoaning the lockdown lard/pandemic pounds. There has been lots of discussion about the causes of obesity or being overweight due to societal and financial factors but I wanted to ask what posters think made them either overweight or obese because reasons will vary. Certain medications and conditions can cause weight gain and/or make it harder to lose weight and the peri-menopause/menopause doesn't help.

I stopped breastfeeding a year ago and my appetite didn't return to normal after stopping so I gained weight. Then my asthma was bad from October onwards and my ability to go on bike rides was limited. Then lockdown and shielding and my 5 mile school hike up and down big hills went out of the window and I ate too many biscuits and chocolate and would eat in the evening while reading or watching tv. I gained around a stone and that took me into the overweight category.

In June I decided enough was enough and started 16:8 and limited myself to around 1250 calories a day. I bought a fitbit and started using my fitness pal. Both encouraged me to go on walks with the dc and to take more trips up and down the stairs than were necessary to meet my target of 25 flights a day. I stopped eating after dinner, watched my portion sizes and cut out most of the junk I was eating. I'm now a normal weight with a BMI of 24. I'm carrying on with my healthier lifestyle and improved habits but it's hard especially in the evenings when I want chocolate. My aim is to get to a BMI of 23 as that is where I look and feel best.

I don't want this to be a judgemental thread, or for anyone to fat shame posters, I just wanted to share my own reasons for weight gain and ask others' experiences because it's a very individual thing beyond "too many calories in vs calories out" and it can be very complex.

OP posts:
SistemaAddict · 21/08/2020 15:16

@fascinated I remember when there were 6 glasses of wine in a bottle so yes glasses were much smaller. I'm watching murder she wrote (my poorly day comfort viewing) and the coffee cups are really small compared to now. Coffees are huge these days. Drinks in general

OP posts:
Blackbear19 · 21/08/2020 16:08

I remember the first time I saw a latte being poured. Shock how many calories are in that. Compared with my mums filter coffee?

milesandmilesandmileandmiles · 21/08/2020 16:39

Interesting thread, thank you OP.

I’m approaching 50, and very slight. I run very competitively (or did before lockdown), and train every day. I love it, so it’s easy for me to do, I’d be useless at sowing, or even something equally active, but that I didn’t love. If you don’t love something, you won’t do it I’d imagine.

For the last 3 years I’ve also weight trained. Or rather, done a lot of core work and gone to the gym 2 times a week. Initially to prevent injury, but now, I see the benefit in of itself at my age, and surprisingly, I love it.

We were brought up with a healthy attitude to food. We didn’t have huge portions and didn’t have to clear our plates (unless my DM thought we were avoiding sprouts, or whatever). DH’s family similar, plus used to spend hours over a meal at the table afterwards, chatting etc.

DC are adults now, but home due to lockdown. We still sit at the table, unless it’s a night when we are all doing stuff, then one of us will have bunged something in the slow cooker.

One thing I notice incidentally, is that DS is like me, doesn’t eat unless hungry, and usually reaches for the fruit bowl or makes cheese and crackers. Dd and DH have far sweeter tooth’s and snack more, mainly on the less healthy stuff. While still slim due to genetics, they are not slight, like DS and myself. I wonder if this is nature or nurture?

Of all of the above, I suspect never seeing in childhood anything other than healthy attitudes to food, and no diets, aside from genes, probably the biggest factor.

I’m lucky too not to have anything physical, or medication etc that precludes exercise.

The one thing I was given though was Ribena and I had so many fillings as a kid. Sugar!

milesandmilesandmileandmiles · 21/08/2020 16:44

Oh and when I eat shit - I don’t perform well - there’s a noticeable difference - and I’m passionate enough about my sport for that to keep me eating well!

Localocal · 21/08/2020 21:17

No idea. I was a skinny girl until I got pregnant the first time and have been a fat girl ever since. Hormones? Gut microbiome? Some interaction of the two? I don't know and neither does Science. So, having repeatedly battled my own body to lose all the weight only to gain it back again, I no longer worry about the number on the scale. There is bugger all I can do about it unless I am willing to be hungry all day every day for the rest of my life. I'm not.

So I focus on being healthy instead, which unlike being thin is an achievable goal for me.

Every single person who tells fat people (and by that I don't mean people who are 5 pounds over their favourite weight and can lose it by forgoing sugar in their tea) that they should go on a calorie controlled diet to lose weight is asking them to play a fool's game that will only make them fatter and less healthy.

The medical establishment should stop telling people to lose weight until they figure out how they can do so. Because telling an obese person to make themselves thin by "just" eating healthily is like telling them to fly by flapping their arms.

SoleBizzz · 25/08/2020 08:17

I feel the reasons given here are all valid but in my opinion we turn to food because of the lack of the right support somewhere in our life and we abuse food and our bodies to cope.

Hearts2hearts · 25/08/2020 22:19

A car accident (not my fault) left me disabled. I wasn’t thin before, but the accident wrecked my health. I went from working as a nurse and being on my feet for hours on end, plus golfing at least 3 times a week, to losing my job and struggling to walk 100 metres! I put on 3 stone, before I realised it, then decided that I needed to change my life and lose weight. I worked out an exercise routine and changed my diet. In the 3 months between Christmas and late March I lost a stone in weight! Then COVID happened and my dh (he was in the shielding category, as very vulnerable) and I had to isolated, with no leaving the home. I put that stone on again, plus another one!

Noconceptofnormal · 25/08/2020 22:30

Three pregnancies in 5 years plus breastfeeding each for a year.

Gained more weight than I should due to severe sickness, which I only could stop by eating brown carbs (mainly pancakes, rich teas and crackers), I didn't eat anything else. I'm unfortunately one of those people who holds on to weight whilst breastfeeding.

Lost the baby weight after baby #1, was still 10lbs too heavy after baby #2 and so baby #3 it became more like 30lbs so lose. I've lost 18lbs, still got 12lbs to go and still breastfeeding #3. It's ok, I'll get there, but not interested in the smugness of people who've only had one kid and got back to their pre pregnancy weight easily as I did too. It was the subsequent ones that had the cumulative impact.

Igglepigglesgrubbyblanket · 25/08/2020 22:32

I think it might have been the biscuits...

Thewomeninthemirror · 25/08/2020 22:37

Being married to a chef, our lives revolve around food. He remains skinny no matter how much he eats and drinks.

icelollies · 25/08/2020 22:42

For me, definitely working at home - food availability and less exercise. Also eating ds’ leftovers after dinner (why oh why do i do this!?!)

jitterbugintomybrain · 25/08/2020 22:43

I do loads of running, walking and sometimes cycling so it's got to be the food and alcohol for me. Also think my age, lockdown stress and the coil haven't helped either. Need to lose 2 stone.

Tillygetsit · 26/08/2020 00:44

Overeating and inertia.

wowfudge · 26/08/2020 10:33

I think that losing excess weight is hard and you really need to be in the right place mentally in order to do so successfully. I'm very pleased to say that as of Sunday I am no longer overweight, but in the healthy BMI range for the first time in over 5 years.

Gottobefree · 15/10/2020 16:45

Chronic illness since a child. Was on and off high doses of steroids as a child & young teen (ate and ate and ate) ... started to lose weight as a teen and then my mobility stopped and had to undergo two joint replacements in my late teens... turned into stress eating/comfort eating.

PuzzledObserver · 15/10/2020 19:40

Binge eating, since childhood. Compounded by dieting.

Trying to stop both now.

MikeFromSpaced · 15/10/2020 20:26

Watching my mum’s struggle with food set me up for a life time of bad habits and weight issues that I am only just beginning to confront (in my forties). Her mood was dictated by how thin or fat she felt and from a young age I witnessed some horrible stuff in her effort to stay slim: diet pills, injections, starvation, bingeing, bulimia, laxative abuse, diuretics. I’ve never gone as far as that but I’ve been on every diet going and have all of the phrases: ‘No I won’t, I’m being good’, ‘sod it, diet starts Monday’, ‘I need to lose weight for X occasion’ etc. I’m currently at my heaviest and am desperately trying not to start another diet because I know they don’t work (for me). I need to shake the mindset that I’ll only be worth anything once I’ve lost 3 stone.

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