to suggest that half a baguette is enough?

[CoralFish]

Preparing a super-healthy (not really) lunch for me and DP of pork pie, cheddar cheese and that bread that comes part baked from the supermarket.

I comment that the bread is packaged as two small baguettes together, so I will have to freeze one once opened. DP says he "could have" a whole baguette. I ask him if he really wants a whole one - we normally share one. He says the same thing again. I read out the suggested serving and calories and say if he really wants a whole one I can freeze half of one, as I definitely don't. He goes off in a huff because I have apparently called him greedy and he only wants half. I cook one baguette.

My point is that at no point did he say he wanted a whole one just that he "could have" a whole one. I thought this was just a suggestion to make it easier wrt freezing.

Me checking the suggested portion size and calories was for myself. I concluded I did not want a whole one, so him having one would make no difference to ease of storage. Admittedly I did not explicitly state this, and I did not need to read it aloud to him, but I was labouring under the misapprehension that he was making a suggestion to try to make things easier, not that he actually wanted a whole one. I did not at any point use the word greedy or mean to imply it.

Was the whole thing just a misunderstanding on both our parts (and he should at the very least snap out of his huff), or am I being unreasonable and should apologise for 'calling him greedy'?

YABU - He was hungry and was obviously saying he wanted a whole one to himself.

But I’m a greedy guts because I would always eat a whole one to myself. DH would too!

LTB. That's directed at him. Are you usually so controlling, op?

Oh god we had this on Sunday. 1kg joint of beef for 2 adults, a pre-schooler and a toddler. I said it should do another meal in a pie.

DH piled his plate high and left 1 slice, he said he wanted to enjoy it, I’d spoiled it and he put it back. No DH you were being a greedy fucker and we’re embarrassed when called on it. He lost some weight early lock down and has put it all back on plus. He has a very obvious belly and is unhappy with it. I was actually flabbergasted at the amount of meat he had on his plate! He’s using my fitness pal and my usual comment if he looks to be indulging too much is, ‘does that fit
Ok into your calories for the day?’ But I couldn’t stop myself. As I also pointed out it was an abysmal example to the children too.

@MitziK

For the sake of 218 kcal, yes, YABU.

It's a lot more than that if you stuff in as much butter and cheese as I do

Well done for apologising.
You do know that men need more calories than women, don’t you?

There's quite an "ooh matron" undertone on here with talk of baguette sizes and how many inches people like

Bloody hell let the man eat what he wants!

Poor bloke. Half of one of those things is pretty meagre.

I think you should have just let him have a whole one if he wanted. You clearly made him feel bad about wanting a whole one by reading the calories and serving size even if you didn’t intend to.
I frequently eat more than my DP - I’m significantly smaller than him (height). He sits at a desk most of the day meanwhile I’m chasing around a 9 month old and still breastfeeding. I’m always starving. I’m slim. Size 8. I’d feel horrible if he shamed me for having a big portion when I was hungry. Calories and serving sizes are not everything.
If on the other hand he is fat and you want him to eat less / lose weight / be healthier then there is probably nicer ways to bring it up.

How come yo7 tell him what to eat? I’d be really cross if my dh did that. If I say ‘I could have a whole one’, it’s not a suggestion. Let me have a whole one, you’re not exactly offering a calorie controlled lunch then you read out the bloody calories, I’d be really peed off at you.

Jeez, let him have a whole one, you’re not the food police.

Christ!

I would have said ‘fuck this shit’ and went to the chippy.

You shouldn’t control hod food like he is a child

Blimey...if that's all you got to worry about xx xx

What a greedy guzzler he is.
I'd leave my imaginary husband immediately if he ate more than half a lentil for lunch

So after asking him twice and he twice says he could have a whole baguette (bear in mind it's the small ones where you get 2 littles ones in a pack) you then 'read out the suggested serving and calories and say if he really wants a whole one I can freeze half of one, as I definitely don't'.

Poor chap is in a huff because on three occasions you comment on the whole baguette thing.

How long have you been obsessed/watching what he eats and commenting on it? Poor chap

My mother does this. She has issues around food.

When we go out she always wants to share a teacake as she couldn't possibly manage a whole one.

When we went out with SIL (who also has food issues) three of us had yo share one curry .

I might be a greedy bastard, but that's my choice to police.

That would have really annoyed me to be honest, especially reading out the calories. If he wants a whole one that is up to him

MintyMabel and BranchAndPoppy

You’re as bad as each other! Such greed and overindulgence! I baked one of these baguettes yesterday and found inhaling the smell from the oven satisfied my appetite completely.

It wouldn't even have occurred to me to chop the other one in half, I would have just cooked both of them and eaten it later or something. Life is too short to worry about halving baguettes, wrapping to avoid freezer burn and freezing until the next time you want 4 inches of bread. They may look like a large portion whole but when halved they are very small. I'd give half a one to my pre-schooler. I really can't believe it was such a discussion, which turned into a row/huff, to decide whether your husband really meant he could manage a whole one. It sounds like what you say to a child when they say they want a big ice cream or cake or something when you suspect their eyes are bigger than their belly. A grown man, I'd have thought, us perfectly capable of deciding what and how much he wants to eat for lunch.

I would have eaten the whole thing and assumed that after reading the details, OP didn't want any

I'm a size 4 or in age 10-11 ( I'm a ceoliac and have chrones so have trouble eating sometimes hence the very small size) and when I'm well id eat a whole gluten free baguette, don't control what your partner eats its horrible .. (Unless they are diabetic and want to eat 10 bags of sweets obvs) I think you may have some issues with food if this bothers you so much , in the kindest possible way think about speaking to someone rather than project into your partner .. Wanting to eat a baguette should not bother you at all let alone enough to post about it .. X

You both sound passive aggressive!

The small baguettes are small- you say so yourself. It's not like a footlong subway (which are fine anyway.)

Someone can have whatever as part of their daily/weekly calorie allowance.

I know the type of baguettes you mean, half wouldn't be much at all. It'd maybe be ok if someone were on a diet.

I know a woman who only ever eats the recommended serving of anything, and only allows her husband the same. She weighs out everything and makes sure they both have exactly the same amount. It's bonkers. If they have a big bag of crisps to share, for example, she weighs out the recommended portion EXACTLY into two bowls and PUTS THE REST AWAY. It's just so bizarre, and had zero flexibility for feeling hungrier some days.

I'd definitely eat the whole baguette personally.

@Keeva2017

I don’t buy your casual “I was just musing” crap op. You know what you were doing. Judgey food shaming!

Exactly this. You are trying to save face here by lying because most of the replies are not in your favour. Feel sorry for your other half. Are you often this mean to him?