Telling someone you don't like a meal

[Chaosatthezoo]

Example, let's say you go to your mothers, or another very close relative every week for dinner, and they always cook the same certain dish that you really don't like.

Is it rude to tell them that you don't like the dish? Presuming you're not expecting this person to cook for you, but they like you to go for dinner. Would it be right to be honest and tell them you don't like the meal and suggest something different?

This situation isn't mine btw, but something that came up and I was surprised how many people said that they'd eat the meal every week and say nothing. Even though the person would dread going for dinner because they hated the meal.

I said that I could be honest with my own mother but people thought it would be very rude.

Surely your mother would know what you liked and disliked? If it was a more distant relative I'd probably just suck it up but not eat very much

I'd probably just say "can we give X a rest, I'm sick of eating it every week" rather than outright saying I didn't like it. Neither is particularly tactful though 🤷🏼‍♀️

I eat stuff I don’t like at my MIL. She’s so nice I hate upsetting her.

My niece finally got up the courage to tell her Grandmum she hated fish pie.

Unfortunately, Mum hadn't passed that on to me, and as a bit of home comfort when she came to visit us, I cooked fish pie. Her face was a picture, bless her! She got up the courage to tell Aunty, also (Aunty is a lot less scary than Grandmum, so that wouldn't have been quite so bad), I cracked up, and never made it for her again.

In this scenario the mother obviously didn't.

This is a work colleague complaining that they had to go every week and always have this certain meal which they hated. She hated it so much she said she nearly gagged.

I was the only one who thought it would be better to just politely tell her mum. Everyone else thought it would be too rude.

I’d just eat it tbh but I’m a people pleaser!

If it was my mil I'd just eat it. But then I'm rarely there for a meal (and she's a great cook anyway). With my own mother I'd say it right away the first time she served it! She was a great cook but there were definitely dishes I liked more than others.

@AiryFairyArtyFarty

Surely your mother would know what you liked and disliked? If it was a more distant relative I'd probably just suck it up but not eat very much

My mother is frequently offering me things I cannot stand (eggs and salmon in particular) and telling me what I don't like (apparently turkey).

She may just be mental, though.

@BaconsLaw haha I had a fry up at my mums once, she cut all the white off my fried egg because apparently that's how I used to eat it when I was 5.

If my mother ever serves me up jellied ox's tongue again, damned right I'm going to tell her that I'm really, really, totally seriously, not eating that, sorry. . . and I can't remember why I was currying favour so much to pretend to like it in the first place, when I was sixteen years old!

I’d make up an allergy / food intolerance. For example if the dinner was chicken curry “I’m very sorry X, I’ve been having awful tummy troubles and have cut meat and anything spicy out of my diet for the moment”

I think a white lie to save someones feelings in those circumstances is fine.

I would tell them . I love food and refuse to eat what I don’t like but then I am very cheeky.

I'm struggling to imagine food I could a/eat repeatedly and b/seriously dislike

So I'm guessing a more accurate thing would be that they don't like it very much and are a bit dramatic

My dad would be more pissed off with me if I didn't tell him! He wouldn't want to make something for me that I didn't like every single week

I would usually fall into the “too polite to mention anything” team but I think even I would say something in this situation.

Not a “yuk can you stop giving me this crap” obviously but maybe suggesting something else. Along the lines of “how about I bring a nice casserole/curry/salmon salad with me next week for a change?”

My DM would know or I would feel comfortable enough to say it isn't my favourite and please can you make your lovely whatever food it is but my DM is a sucker for a food compliment and probably go overboard, I would have that same meal every day until I die

Other people I would find a way, if it was enough to make me gag then I wouldn't be able to eat it fish pie and apologise.

I'd tell my mum the first time she served it to not go for it again

You should be able to tell close family such things with no issue imo

It took me a decade and a half of choking down cauliflower every Sunday dinner to feel confident enough with my in-laws to say that actually I hated cauliflower and could they not put any on my plate please.

If it's been drilled in to you from a very early age that you eat whatever is served without complaint, then it is very difficult to behave differently, until it comes to a head.

Luckily, they were very good about it. Found it quite hilarious that their otherwise straight talking and direct daughter in law was too scared to tell them she loathed a particular vegetable.

My mum would always give us food we didn’t like, she would either forget or not be bothered. For example I hate sprouts but she would always give me one at Christmas. I mean, why? I asked her this recently, as after 40 years I still hate them, it hasn’t changed. She didn’t really answer the question.

I think I would have to say something but I’m not sure how.

It becomes a major problem if you let it go on for a number of times. Best to be honest the first time if you dislike it so much. May be a little difficult to say diplomatically though

I thought of starting a thread about this! For us it's BBQs. My parents love them and it's pretty much a guarantee that that's what will be on offer if we visit during summer. Problem is it's a gas BBQ, it's never been cleaned, it seems to just 'sweat' the meat without imparting any discernible BBQ flavour, the meat is usually not very nice, and my dad (who thinks food hygiene is for snowflakes) is in charge of cooking.

It's different meats every time, so we can't just say we don't like [whatever]. And we can't very well pretend we don't like BBQs because they already know we love them. Just... not theirs.

I've been in this situation with my mum and I'm just polite and eat what she's cooked for me. She makes an amazing lasagna and whenever go to hers for dinner and she asks me what if there's anything I'd like this is what I request. Several times I've arrived looking forward to it only for her to have decided to cook something completly different for me- haddock and rice which is a sort of kedgeree thing she makes. Its okay but very flavourless and not a patch on her lasagna but she loves it and she thinks I love it becuase I don't get to eat much fish at home becuase dh hates it. I don't have the heart to tell her otherwise becuase she genuinely thinks she's giving me a treat.

[quote Chaosatthezoo]@BaconsLaw haha I had a fry up at my mums once, she cut all the white off my fried egg because apparently that's how I used to eat it when I was 5. [/quote]
That's so much like my mum.

"Do you want an egg?"
"No mum, I still don't like them"
"Are you sure? You used to love them when you were little!"
"I'm sure you fucking lunatic"

Not quite the same issue, but my MiL is somehow convinced that apple pie is my favourite dessert so she serves it up every time I visit. I actually don't mind apple pie, but wouldn't number it among my favourites and there are many things I'd prefer, but don't quite know how to tell MiL when she prefaces it every time with "I got apple pie - your favourite!".

My grandma used to make my brother the same thing all the time when he would go visit her. He ate it for months until finally telling her he didn't really care for it and could they have something else for a change.
She did say she wished he had told her he didn't like it as she had been thinking it was his favourite