Telling someone you don't like a meal

[Chaosatthezoo]

Example, let's say you go to your mothers, or another very close relative every week for dinner, and they always cook the same certain dish that you really don't like.

Is it rude to tell them that you don't like the dish? Presuming you're not expecting this person to cook for you, but they like you to go for dinner. Would it be right to be honest and tell them you don't like the meal and suggest something different?

This situation isn't mine btw, but something that came up and I was surprised how many people said that they'd eat the meal every week and say nothing. Even though the person would dread going for dinner because they hated the meal.

I said that I could be honest with my own mother but people thought it would be very rude.

Edit: I should say I got really good at slight of hand and the Labrador was a willing victim, even for the beans!

I kept getting the same massive dish every week until mum went into local lockdown. Must remember not to mention it or plant the seed that I really fancy quiche...essentially she makes whatever she can be arsed making (I'd rather she had a rest than make anything!) and it's usually far too big but kids won't eat it. I hate waste but also hate eating the same thing three times a day. Poor woman has no clue. We still have 36 packets of crisps I told her the kids liked. They've gone off them and are hidden everywhere!

I’d have told my mum the first time. If you leave it you create a really awkward situation because your mum thinks you’ve been enjoying her meals for ages and bursting that bubble would be upsetting for her.

That said, whenever I invite people for dinner I’m always clear on what I’m cooking so they can decline if they don’t like the food on offer.

I tell people the truth. If I'm served meat and vegetables for example I will eat the tiniest bit of the meat or more likely none of it. And I will say I avoid meat whenever possible.

If it was close family I'd say something. I'm a bit fussy, though, and I can't eat something I don't like.

Would have to make excuses, I can't eat what I don't like, blurgh

I’d just say. And immediately, I’d not eat it the first time, and I’d Apologise so the cook knew it wasn’t their cooking just the food stuff I didn’t like. I’d certainly not eat it to be polite.

However I always ask guests if they have stuff they don’t like, and if I cooked something for my daughter she didn’t like she’d would and does say immediately
.

This reminds me of my dear Grandad (now dec’d) who was seeing his lady friend for years who insisted on cooking him a chicken dinner each week - except he hated it and didn’t really eat any meat.

One day I was at his home and he returned from hers and pulled out a chicken breast from his pocket and put it in the bin!

I told him to just tell her (they saw each other daily so were close) but he couldn’t bring himself to say it and just continued sneaking the chicken off his plate each time. Made me chuckle 😀

id be deadly honest.. for sure!

My sister & her DH go to her in laws about once a month for lunch. She didn’t go once as she wasn’t feeling well. Her DH took her some food and she told him to pass her feedback to his mum - that it was bland and dry. He did pass on the message

Actually this reminds me, I was about 7 years married and 10 years with my DH before I could mention that I don’t actually like any type of fruit crumble to my very lovely MIL who couldn’t have cared less! We laugh about it now.

My mum knows what I like, she cooked most of my meals for the first 20 years of my life. But I would say if I didn't like it.

My ex H came for tea last week, when I offered him the ketchup he told me he didn't eat it, never had.

I exclaimed that I knew he didn't like beans, had no idea about the ketchup! Only known him 13+ years!

I’d say if I didn’t like something to my own mother and would hint to my MIL in a more subtle way. Makes stuff all difference though as neither actually listen and just serve up what they like themselves!

Depends.

One I had that was very very funny was we had a family round we got on very well with. Their dc were about 1 and 3 at the time. Parents were sticklers for manners.
The 3yo sat there very quietly through about half the meal then he said really politely. "Excuse me Mr and Mrs Witchend, this meal is absolutely revolting."

It was so funny, because he'd obviously been sitting there mulling over how to express that he didn't like it politely.

It depends. My dm, I'd tell her quietly. probably along the lines of "I've gone off it because I had stomach ache after it one time-totally unconnected but you know the way it puts you off."
But she's generally very good at remembering what you don't like and wouldn't be upset.

My MIL I tend to just remove the food onto the dc's/dh's plate and ask for small helpings.
We had one visit where it was particularly bad, which looking back was when she was in the early stage of dementia. I really can't stand mashed potato, to the point it makes me heave.
First night was cottage pie
Second night was fish pie
Third night was pasta bake.
All of them she does with mashed potato mixed in with everything else. You can't even push the potato to one side. Thankfully ds loves mashed potato and dh was being cooperative, so I managed to get through all three meals without her noticing-and she can be very vocal if she notices that sort of thing, and then went out for a "walk" afterwards-down to the shop to eat!
Dh had a quiet word with her after the third night.

But as I said, looking back, I think it was an early sign of her dementia. And she'd remembered about me and mashed potato, but the wrong way round. So she thought I loved it, and did the meals accordingly.

Of course I'd tell her. How ridiculous.

I mean, if you are invited somewhere as a one off and get served something you don't really like, then, if you can, it is polite to eat it, but there is no way anyone should be expected to eat something they don't like week in and week out, whoever is serving it.

You must have some very odd colleagues.

My PILs used to cook the same main course for a few years, and then change it to another which they'd serve for another few years. 1996 to 2000 was roast lamb. 2000 to 2005 was salmon and broccoli. 2005 - 2008 was steak. 2008 - 2010 was spaghetti carbonara. But even funnier was that dessert never changed. Every single meal it was strawberries, blueberries and ice cream (which my DC never really ate). Every single time. But we never said anything.

My grandfather used to say "that was different" if he didn't like something🤣🤣. We all knew what he meant... But it somehow wasn't taken in a hurtful way.

Remember a "beloved" childhood favourite that she used to make and say "do you remember X that you used to cook? - I'd love to taste that again, I was trying to remember the recipe"

Not much help if childhood fare didn't go much beyond beans on toast

You'd know if I don't like something because I wouldn't eat it. If there's something I don't like, I couldn't eat it for love nor money. I would be gipping. Although when I was a teenager I did wait til the host family I was staying with left the room and poured my soup down the plughole rather than hurt her feelings. She seemed so pleased to have found something suitable for a vegetarian. It was like liquified vomit though 🤢

I'd volunteer to host the next week's meal.

I would if it was every week, yes! A one off, maybe not. It must be a British thing!! I once sat through a meal at my friends and nearly gagged all the way through it but still ate it all!

I'm all for sparing people's feelings, but I would wonder about someone who couldn't tell the truth about something so simple as a dish they didn't like.

I would eat mostly anything that was cooked for me. In my family the person who cooks,generally knows what people like and dislike when visiting them, and remember this.

I would express it in a different way - eg you LOVE her lasagne (say) and it would be great to have that (as a change sometimes to fish pie)