AIBU to not want my 9 year old to share a room with a 14 year old girl....

[standingupfornonsense]

My ex husband has taken our two boys on holiday with his girlfriend and daughter. Our two are 7 & 9. Her daughter is 14. They have been together around 4 months and don't live together. They've not had sleepovers etc either from what the boys have said.

They have gone away today and are staying in a caravan with a double room and 2 twin rooms. Our youngest is having a room on his own and our eldest they have shared with her daughter.

I know this is for just a holiday but given there is the option of the brothers sharing and the daughter having her own room but aibu to expect them not to share a room?????

I don't know his girlfriend or the daughter. Their dad is a narcissistic prick who doesn't communicate. He has also brought the 9 year old a mobile phone with no consultation but that's a separate issue!!!!

Thoughts?

Why on Earth are the 2 boys not sharing ?

What’s the logic for not having the brothers sharing?

How odd. Surely the logical option is for your boys to share and his dd to have the other room to herself.

Surely the teen dd would want her own room anyway?

It seems a bit weird, but theres nothing you an actually do about it.

The daughter will likely be more mortified than your son.

As for the phone you're perfectly entitled to police it in accordance with your rules while he is with you.

Coparenting with a twat is hard work, but sometimes you have to let the smaller stuff go or everything becomes a battle and its exhausting.

I assume the kids chose their rooms.

YANBU. That's very odd. Unless there's some special reason, I'd expect the two boys to share. They're siblings, the same sex, AND the two youngest. It's the most obvious arrangement. I'd be surprised if the 14-year-old wants to share. Strange choice...

I'd think they're doing that so the 14 year old can't sneak out. Not ok, your son isn't a guard dog. There brothers should be sharing

It's not really worth getting wound up about. There isn't anything you can do about it and he's unlikely to come to any harm.

I agree the brothers should share.

Have your 2 ds’s told you this ? Or if it’s come from him could he just be trying to piss you off?
It seems like a weird thing for them to do as it literally makes no sense. Surely the daughter would say something? I’d imagine if my mum had made me a share a room with a 9 year old boy at that age I’d have point blank refused.

YANBU. Sounds like one of your boys kicked up a stink about sharing with the other as I’m pretty sure the sharing thing didn’t come from the girl!

I agree with above poster, they're trying to stop her either being on her phone all night or sneaking out. Its not fair on any of them. A 14 year old girl shouldn't be sharing with a male of any age.

You can want or not want all you like, and his decision to lump everything and everyone together after a matter of weeks (how was this relationship even possible given lockdown etc?) is flawed, but nothing you can do if they’re with him and legally allowed to be...

My eldest showed me the room they were sharing.

Why have the chosen this? It's the 14 year old girl needs privacy.

Two excited little boys on holiday can make a lot of noise in a shared bedroom, am and pm, and in a caravan it would disturb everyone. So my guess is they've split them up for peace and quiet.

Surely the girl would much rather be on her own.

I think it's fine them sharing assuming they'd be changing in a private room and not in front of each other but it would make a lot more sense to have the boys share and give her daughter privacy.

I can't believe he gave your 9 year old a phone without even asking you that's crazy.

really bizarre. cant imagine the 14 year old girl is particularly relishing sharing with her mums boyfriend of 4 months 9 year old son. I actually feel more sorry for her lol! I also cant understand the logics behind that decision either

OP - you've been asked a few times I realise, but what is the reason for the two youngest not sharing?

How odd! I don’t think I would want to share with a 9 year old at 14, it’s very strange the brothers aren’t sharing a room!

It does seem a bit of an odd decision to not have the two boys sharing. Is there a reason? Could you suggest it? I mean sure he could ignore your suggestion but atleast you would have tried.

Tbf I'd have an issue with the sleeping arrangements if the older DC was a boy not so much as she's a girl. The short term relationship is probably more of an issue.
Why can't the boys share.

I think maybe you should call their father to check in and bring it up calmly. Ask their reasoning and if you still feel they shouldn't be sharing, suggest that the boys do. It's the best you can do unfortunately.