Predatory driving instructor. Daughter wants refund. Help!

[friendlyflicka]

If anyone has experience of how to proceed with this I would be so grateful.

My just 17 year old daughter booked to go on an intensive driving course and paid more £1000 up front. As far as i knew we were booking through a driving school which seemed businesslike etc.

My daughter came back after the first day, visibly shaken. At 11 pm that night she asked if I or her boyfriend could go with her the next day. At 8 am - she was due to be picked up at 9 - she told me she couldn’t face going with him in the car. That he had been very ‘touchy’ and then she told me a string of very inappropriate comments he had made all sexual throughout the day.

I have no doubt that she is telling the truth. That is not my issue at all. And the emotional issue and toll on my daughter - can handle this as well: we are.

I contacted driving school and said that she would not be proceeding and then sent email detailing the instructor’s behaviour. The reply was that it was my daughter’s word against his and that he would speak to the driver the next day.

I rang the police for some advice because I didn’t know whether this was a civil matter. They were keen to press further, They said as a safeguarding issue they needed to speak to the driving school

The driving school absolutely absolved themselves of all responsibility for either the safeguarding or financial issues: the instructor was self employed: he had my daughter’s money.

I have made a complaint to DVSA about all issues. My daughter is upset but wants her money back. And just wants to start again: found a nice local instructor.

How do I go about things? I am dealing with the safeguarding through DVSA hopefully. But how do I recover her money. She was booked for 4 days: day 1, he allegedly assaulted her. Day 2, she cancelled after the 24 hour policy. Last 2 days she should be refunded whatever the results of any safeguarding enquiry.

Please tell me how to proceed. Purely in a financial sense to recover her money.

Op whilst l cannot add any practical advice, l just wanted to say a huge well done for fighting this.

There is so much sexual abuse of young(and older) women that all women must make a fuss, be heard, take legal action, every time it happens...otherwise things will never change for the better for all women.

You have sent an important message to your DD, that it is never acceptable to sit quietly when a man sexually assaults you, even if verbally.

This reinforcement of her boundaries will help protect her in the future.
Good luck with the rest of the case.
( If it were me once it was all over, l would past the drivers face, company name and address, with details of this, over facebook, and any other social media outlet l could, and repeat regularly. He will end up abusing many others and needs to be stopped.)

My first driving instructor exactly like this, pulling up in deserted woods and lay bys - it was very stressful and I didn't feel like I could tell anyone what he was doing. When my "block" of lessons came to an end, instead of renewing with him I asked to change to a woman instructor and it was so much better.

Years later I saw in the obituary pages of the local paper that he had died and felt a palpable sense of relief.

Why are men still getting away with this shit!? Your poor daughter.

@friendlyflicka

Yes get in touch with small claims Court about your issue with Shit Dodgy Arsehole Driving Instructor/Driving School !

It's terrible that young women - any women - are still being treated like this. And it's appalling that the driving school in Somerset is only interested in protecting the pervert. Once this is all done, if you're able to, go to the press.

If you have the instructor's full name and photo, a private detective should be able to get you his details. Or you could ask a bored tech-head on reddit... Ask your lawyer what avenues you are allowed to pursue to get his info to make sure it's admissible in court.

Keep being a pain in their backsides, for your daughter, and for all the other girls and women who could end up trapped in a car with this dangerous man. You're doing a good thing. I hope you get your money back and that your DD can rebuild her confidence.

I'd say there is every chance this isn't the first time he's done this. I think the police should be informed so they have a record even if your dd doesn't want to take it further. I don't buy the driving schools excuse it isnt their responsibility because the driver is self employed. And contact your MP.

There’s a helpful Instagram/Twitter account called Cheerupluv that might be able to help if you want to bring this up on social media in due course.

I had a very inappropriate driving instructor when I was 21. He must have been 20 years older than me and started a conversation about how he used Viagra ffs. I cancelled all future lessons with him. I never told anyone. I wish I had had more courage to report him. Well done for supporting your daughter. What a scum bag.

Report it to the local council safeguarding board or Multi Agency Safeguarding Hub (MASH) at the Council. Also take him to the small claims court.

How awful.Sounds like you’ve done the right things. I would threaten the press unless they refund.

Is start with a letter before action

I’d then start small claims court proceedings against them

I’d speak to the press and leave a bad review

Another female here to say it happened to me as well. 17 year olds are particularly vulnerable (still a child after all). I was a little older but too embarrassed to say anything, however I did stop my lessons and took my test 7 years later.

I don't know how to advise but I just wanted to say the same thing happened to me at age 18 (having been asked to drive round some remote estate) and it took me a long time to recover. Well done for supporting your daughter.

I have no advice but just wanted to voice my support. It's galling that so many obstacles have been placed in your way, and that this creep is still allowed to be alone with young learners.

I don't think that the instructor being self employed absolves the driving school having responsibility for his actions. He will be aggressive, he is in the wrong and his business could be badly affected by all of this so he doesn't want you to proceed.

Apologies. Didn’t see the date of this thread!

Our eldest DD learned to drive with a local man that was highly recommended. Only he took a real shine to her, was constantly texting her and their lessons always involved a stop at Costa or similar......DD insisted it was harmless etc, and she felt safe with him but I'm sure he was grooming her for an affair. He had a wife and 4 very young children. He was in his mid 40s, DD was only just 17.

In the end, a work colleague I was talking to about it said that she knew his wife, and she let her know that he was "up to his old tricks again". The coffee trips soon stopped and DD passed her test in record time

I deeply regret not reporting him now. Don't underestimate the power of social media OP and review sites. His next pupil may not have the confidence to tell her parents. Thankfully yours did

I’m so glad that some justice has been done. I hope that make your daughter feel a little better. When will men realise that being creepy isn’t ok. I’ve two adult female daughters and the number of times they’ve been made to feel ‘uncomfortable’ (understatement) by bastard creepy letchy men is disgusting.
A typical example being older male manager in a coffee shop commenting what a great body my daughter had. He added that she must work out a lot. It was just the type of comment that could almost be considered ok but clearly isn’t. My daughter told him it wasn’t ok to which he responded with the usual creepy letch response that he was only complementing her.
She reported it to her area manager who dismissed it completely and actually told my daughter that she should take advantage of the creepy letch and get him to do all the heavy work. It’s unbelievable.
I’m so annoyed that I didn’t stand up to all the creepy letch’s that I had the misfortune to run into when I was younger.

My goodness.
It’s a trope, the pervy male instructor ,
I too had an instructor say women take longer to learn because they
“Don’t read the paper”

WHAT?!
I didn’t book with HIM.

My advice is to read reviews on Google - there are really good safe male instructors about.

Some for both clients safety and their own have a recording device in the car.
They will tell you this.

There is no place for this slimy behaviour, and bona fide male instructors abhor it too.
Report it.

How awful that this is still happening to women and food for you for continuing to pursue this despite the discouragingly slow progress. I sincerely hope you get some justice for your daughter.

Just wanted to say good luck and well done OP. Keep fighting it all the way.

Sorry - I've just seen the date this started and have obviously offered the advice you have followed too late.

As regard the hearing, I would present your case, no only based on the financial loss and his behaviour, with the findings of the DVSA, but also the impact it has had on your daughter, her concerns at finding a new instructor who she can trust and the need for her/you to pay out for other transport as needed because she cannot drive yet. I'd also point out that you feel the detrimental effect now means that it will be more stressful to learn to drive and may likely take longer, incurring more cost.

Good luck OP

@friendlyflicka
Sorry just read all your posts- on a walk at moment- and not surprised to see the creepy instructor has has other allegations of assault.

Cameras are really essential in vehicles.
But can’t imagine how awful it would be to not trust one’s instructor.
Learning to drive is stressful and exhausting enough without having to fend off a gross letch.
He should not be allowed to teach women.
Good luck, and hope your daughter passes soon 👍

I also wonder how much of this there is. I've heard about it locally, there are rumours amongst the girls here occasionally, and my niece's driving instructor kept trying to hug her. My own daughter had a arse of a driving instructor, who was aggressive and rude rather than sexually deviant, but he didn't seem to like women much. Her new one is fab, though (and female).
Come to think of it, my own driving instructor many years ago made a few stupid remarks about the gearstick. I was a student at the time. So maybe this isn't so rare?
I hope you get it sorted.